(A/N): Hey everyone! I hope you are all well.
This chapter was not a nice chapter to write. Not because there was a lot of research or anything, just because it wasn't very nice.
Right now, fanfiction is doing this really annoying thing where it won't let me play around with spaces. If I want to put more than one enter space between a paragraph, it will turn it back to one after I've saved it on doc manager. Even putting a little '-' as a line break was always deleted. It seems to be automatic - can anyone tell me how to turn it off?
GCSEs are getting nearer, and that's annoying. When I finish this story, I'm afraid you might have to wait until late June for me even to start planning the next one. Just a heads up. We still have a little longer to go.
The Winter Olympics are on and I feel a little bad because I haven't watched them. All my friends are saying "Oh yeah blah was really good" and I'm just like "Yeah...ha ha ha...totally..." because by the time I get home from school, it's late and I forget. Apparently the ice skating was quite good, and someone had a nasty accident in the snow boarding one. I don't really know, which is bad :/
I'm really annoyed because Wolfstadt has seen a spoiler. We don't tell each other what is going to happen in each other's stories, because that way it's easier to tell if, say, the passage is tense enough when we edit, because knowing what will happen removes that tension sometimes. But I keep a lot of info in notebooks rather than on a laptop, because they're more convenient to access, and my sister was looking through one and saw a spoiler. Not the biggest spoiler, but a significant one. (Warning to Ghost Hunt fans who haven't read volume 12 - skip this paragraph here!)She's really annoyed as well, because she hates spoilers so much. She hasn't actually read volume 12 of Ghost Hunt, so I always have to change Naru's name from Oliver to Kazuya, but she knows there is a character called 'Gene' in it after scrolling through some Ghost Hunt fanfic. She doesn't do that anymore.
I have no time for review answer time today, I'm afraid, but I'll try next time. Oh yeah - songs I'd recommend are Tonight, Tonight, Tonight by Low Roar, Best of You by Foo Fighters, Après Moi by Regina Spektor and Silhouettes by Of Monsters And Men.
Thanks for reading, favouriting, following and reviewing this story! :)
Cue chapter 38...
When Kazuya came back into the room, Houshou was already feeling suspicious.
"Where's John?" He demanded, before Kazuya could even say anything.
Despite this, Kazuya showed no worry about his mistrust. "We're going to go see Sinead." He answered curtly.
"I thought you said Sinead-san was alright." Houshou went on.
"She is. But he wants to talk to her about the cognitive interview."
"…Ok." Houshou let it go. Surely Kazuya wouldn't lie about something this important.
I waited with Lin in the car for Kazuya to come back from the office. As soon as he had arrived, I asked,
"Did you tell them? Did you tell Houshou?"
"Yes."
I held my breath. "What did he say?"
"He said that it was your choice. If you wanted to do it, then that was fine."
I breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn't fair to not tell Houshou, but if I had told him myself, I might have lost my courage to do it. "Where are we going?"
"We'll go back to Bou-san's apartment. A familiar place will help make you feel more at ease, and I don't want to be interrupted."
At the apartment, I realised that we didn't have a key. However, Lin just picked the lock again, similarly to when we had investigated Kazuki's apartment.
"You're very good at picking locks." I remarked as he unlocked the door very quickly.
"Practise." He simply said. I wondered how he practised, exactly.
It felt strange going inside the apartment with no one there. Although Kazuya had said we were doing it here to make me feel more at ease, it put me on edge, instead.
"Are you sure it's safe here?" I asked.
Kazuya looked gestured to Lin, who went about searching the apartment, while Kazuya was setting out the suggestion.
"There are no bugs. It's safe." Lin finally announced, just as Kazuya finished setting up the red light.
"Good. We'll start, then."
The lights were dimmed and the curtains were drawn. We had all been searched by Lin, to avoid the same incident as last time. Now, he stood at the door, watching the scene carefully. I was seated by the table, with the red light in front of me. Kazuya faced me on the other side, talking quietly.
"Focus on the light." Despite the gentle pulsing, I could not relax myself. "Match your breathing with the light. Try and relax."
Trying to compress my nervousness, I stared at the light and tried to slow my breathing. Breath in…breath out…
"You've entered the office." Kazuya was saying. "What can you see?"
Biting my lip, I shook my head. "I-It's not working…"
"Try again. Relax."
This time, when he spoke, his voice was distant, and I was only half-listening.
"What can you see?"
I look around the office. What is this place? I've never seen it before…And whose office is it? Saburou's? Or someone else's?
No one is here, which is a relief. The first thing that strikes me, though, is the smell of flowers. It's so…uncharacteristic, almost…out of place in this building. After constantly smelling disinfectant for these past weeks, the smell seems overpowering.
In fact, the entire room is disturbingly…mundane. It is the kind of room you might expect at an office block, or a big corporation. Not here. The walls have been painted a shade of pale orange, and the floor is carpeted. Why is a room like this, an office, at such an atrocious place? Why is such a normal looking office and a number of kidnapped people sharing the same building? It doesn't make sense. If anything, it's…disconcerting.
In the room, there are a lot of filing cabinets, and on the table, there is a pile of papers stacked neatly in the centre. Next to it, I see a glass vase, filled with what I think is Edelweiss. On the other side is a phone, beeping with a new voicemail to be heard.
What kind of information is in these files? Wait…maybe I can figure out exactly what is going on in this place. Maybe I can find out why people were taken here against their will, and what happened to everyone who came here. Maybe I can use it to figure out how to get out of here.
Tentatively, I walk to the desk, looking at the papers on the table. I can see they're…order receipts? For some kind of drug. I pick one up, looking at the small writing closely. It's for…benzodiazepine. That's for anxiety, isn't it? But it looks like the Ward has bought a lot. Not like they ever actually give any proper treatment.
I leaf through the files. They've all been signed by the same person: Hiroto Sato. But the hand signature is slightly different several times. Maybe lots of people are just using the same name…
As I reach the bottom, I find another piece of paper, but it's not an order receipt for the drugs. It's for a book. It's called 'Origins of Hanakotoba'…I wonder what Hanakotoba is. Something to do with flowers, I think…
And the name signed at the bottom is different.
Puzzled, I stack the papers back as I found them, and move on. There're some filing cabinets, and a key has been left in one, so I twist it and pull a draw open.
Inside, there are various paper backed files, arranged in alphabetical order. This is A, B, and C. Curiously, I glance over them. My eye stops on one in particular.
'BROOKS, KAZUKI'.
Heart racing, I pull it out, and open it. I see a profile picture of him, looking sullen and void of emotion.
"SURNAME: BROOKS
FORENAME: KAZUKI
GENDER: MALE
AGE: 25
NATIONALITY: JAPANESE CITIZEN
RACE: OTHER – JAPANESE-AMERICAN
PROFESSION: MENTAL HEALTH DOCTOR
INFO: Brooks was a doctor before R.M came into the possession of Mattaku Psychiatric Ward. On 1st December, he fell and hit his head when leaving work, in Shiroku. As a result, he was sent to hospital with serious brain bleeding. Due to the incident, he called for a long-term sick leave.
Our observations show that he has made frequent contact with a nurse by the name of John Brown. The extent of their relationship is unknown, and further observation will be needed."
This part was more recent. "After some investigation, it was discovered that Brooks overused his sick leave. In order to extract information, treatment C was used on Brooks. It has been revealed that Brown is getting curious about Mattaku Psychiatric Ward. This must be dealt with."
I feel a little sick as I read this. What was treatment C? Somehow, I don't think I want to know.
Instead, I replace the file and move on. It is not long before I find another file of interest.
"BROWN, JOHN"
I quickly take it out. There is a picture of me. I'm walking into the hospital, happening to look over my shoulder. I do not remember this picture being taken.
"SURNAME: BROWN
FORENAME: JOHN
GENDER: MALE
AGE: 20
NATIONALITY: AUSTRALIAN
RACE: WHITE
PROFESSION: NURSE, PRIEST. WORKS WITH SHIBUYA PSYCHIC RESEARCH.
INFO: Brown first came into our observation when it was discovered he was getting friendly with Ward doctor, Kazuki Brooks. Later, it was revealed after intense interrogation from Brooks by Saburou Osaki that he was researching Mattaku Psychiatric Ward. He has been transferred.
However, it is apparent that this person is more troublesome than originally thought. He must be dealt with carefully. Treatment information will be given from R.M"
Wait…what? What did this mean? What was R.M? They…own the Ward? Why am I more troublesome 'than originally thought'? What did this all mean?
Troubled, I replace the file. This time, my eye falls on a file I did not expect to see here.
"BROWN, SINEAD"
Sinead? Why does the Ward have a file on Sinead? Hastily, I open it.
Once again, there is a picture of her. It looks like her passport picture.
"SURNAME: BROWN
FORENAME: SINEAD
GENDER: FEMALE
AGE: 25
NATIONALITY: BRITISH - ENGLISH
RACE: WHITE
PROFESSION: LIAISON OFFICER (?)
INFO: Sinead Brown has worked for various different governments in the past, as a liaison officer. Although she appears to deal with normal crimes, it has been discovered she has a team that tackles issues that shouldn't exist.
She was involved in the Ireland incident. Although she has not appeared to take any interest in it, she may become a threat to R.M, especially since her cousin is John Brown. She must be observed closely."
What was this? Why did this place have a record on Sinead? Who wrote this?
Now filled with an uncertain dread, I carefully replace the file, and close the cabinet. This doesn't seem good. I should leave. I make to leave, but my eye falls on the phone, which is still beeping.
I make my decision, and pick up the phone, selecting to listen to the new message. I won't get another chance to discover this much information again.
The automated voice begins, asking if I want to listen to a message, and I press the right button quickly.
The tone plays, and someone begins to speak.
Houshou was feeling uneasy. Ever since John had left with Kazuya, he couldn't help but feel anxious. Something was tugging at his mind, distracting him from whatever people were saying around him. And that latest attack from the colleague…was it really safe for John to have gone to the scene where the colleague had shot people? Was it safe for anyone to be there, Naru and Lin included?
"Are you ok, Bou-san?" Yasuhara asked, looking at him with concern.
"U-Um, yeah." Houshou scratched his head. "My ribs are just hurting me a bit. I might head back to my apartment, rest a bit."
Yasuhara and Mai glanced at each other, but said nothing.
"I'll take you over there." Eliot decided, standing up and helping him get to his feet. It was difficult to move about with the crutches.
"Take care. Don't do anything stupid." Yasuhara told him seriously, pulling a face and crossing his arms in a way that seemed to match Naru's personality.
Houshou grinned in response, despite his painful ribs. "Sure thing, boss."
The drive to the apartment was a long one. For the entire journey, Eliot kept her eyes on her surroundings, and not just on the road. Her eyes moved incredibly fast, as if she was attempting to absorb every piece of the scene in front of her, no matter how quickly that scene was replaced by the moving car. The intensity of her gazes were so strong, Houshou did not dare interrupt her thoughts. Thus, neither one said a word to each other. Briefly, Houshou wondered if this was why Lin, as Naru's bodyguard, was so quiet – was he too busy constantly watching his surroundings, observing every potential threat, to start conversations? Of course, there was that issue with his ill-feelings towards the Japanese that Mai had mentioned, or maybe he just didn't like socialising. To be honest, it was very tricky to assume anything about that man; Houshou knew so little about him, that most of the explanations and theories that either he or the others at SPR had come up with could neither be proved or disproved. His age, his family, his life outside of SPR, even his opinion on day-to-day opinions were completely unknown. Of all the people in Shibuya Psychic Research, Lin was the biggest enigma of all.
The small walk from the car to Houshou's apartment was arduous, and by the time he had reached the door, Houshou was ready to sit down. Walking on crutches was awkward and difficult. But he knew that, before entering the apartment, Eliot had to check the door for traps or any signs of intruders. Trying to bite back his impatience, he waited as Eliot completed her routine check.
Suddenly, Eliot stopped. Although she didn't say a word, her abruptness sent alarm bells ringing in Houshou's head. Her hand slipped under her jacket and pulled out her gun, before she stepped closer to the door, her movements as subtle and quiet as a shadow.
Before she made her move, she glanced back at Houshou, and jerked her head backwards. Taking the hint, Houshou moved backwards.
Eliot paused. Then she pushed down the door handle and crept into the apartment.
For a moment, silence ensued.
Then Eliot came back to the door, and beckoned to Houshou with her hand to enter. Puzzled now, but feeling his nervousness fade, Houshou followed.
His eyes fell upon the scene, and his shock and utter disbelief rendered him paralysed. The red light was on the table, still flickering rhythmically. On the sofa, John was sitting with his eyes closed, talking slowly and hesitantly. Whatever he was saying, Houshou couldn't understand; he spoke in English. Naru was listening with a furrowed brow, his face grim. By him, Lin had brought his attention from the hypnotic suggestion to Eliot and Houshou's entrance. He put a finger to his lips, giving them both a hard stare.
Now feeling the sparks of rage creep through him, Houshou remained furiously quiet. He knew that interrupting the hypnotic suggestion could be dangerous for John, but having to just stand and watch…
At long last, the hypnotic suggestion seemed to come to an end. Naru began to talk – again, it was in English – and the red light was switches off. Lin flicked on the main lights. And, finally, John opened his eyes again.
"I…" He looked shocked, as if he could not believe what had just remembered. "It's…" He covered his hand with his mouth. "My God…Oh my God…"
"What is it?" Houshou asked, sounding much more aggressive than he had planned.
John looked at him with mild surprise, but did not comment on his presence. "It worked…I remembered it…and…" He stood up, still overcome with disgust. "Oh God. We need to contact Sinead."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Houshou demanded.
John, startled, took a step back. "What do you mean?"
"Why didn't you tell me you were going to do hypnotic suggestion?"
"I…" He looked at Naru. "I thought…didn't you tell him?"
Naru did not answer.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Houshou now turned to Naru, who crossed his arms and raised his head a little higher.
"Why would I need to?" He asked. "John has control over his own actions and decisions. He decided he wanted to do the hypnotic suggestion, and I knew that if we told you, you would try and change his mind."
I watched the two of them arguing in fast paced Japanese, but their words barely impacted me. I couldn't stop thinking about what I had just found out. It made me sick to the stomach.
"…What, so I'm not allowed to have an opinion on what happens anymore?!" Houshou's voice was rising.
"There's a difference between having an opinion and pressurising someone to fit that opinion." Kazuya retaliated coldly.
"What if it had gone wrong like last time?" Houshou growled.
"It didn't. We made sure to prevent anything like that from happening again. We searched the room properly. Unlike you."
They carried on shouting, while Lin just watched with a nonchalant face.
"Excuse me." I turned, to see Eliot standing by me. "Are you ok?"
"Um, yeah." I ran a hand over my face. My forehead felt a little hot. "Why?"
"You just look a little pale." She observed. "Was it the hypnotic suggestion?"
"Uh…" I kept on looking over at Kazuya and Houshou while they rowed. I wished they wouldn't.
"Maybe you should sit down." Eliot decided. "Have a rest."
I was about to answer when Kazuya suddenly turned to me.
"What about you, then?" He asked. "What do you think of the situation?"
I froze. The last thing I wanted was to be involved in this argument.
"I…we found out what we needed to know. We should ring Sinead." I tried to change topic.
"John, you shouldn't have let him pressure you into this!" Houshou said, exasperated. "What if it had gone wrong?"
I did not answer. I couldn't. My voice would not work, even though I wanted to speak out and tell them to stop.
"I ensured it did not go wrong." Kazuya repeated.
"Like you did last time?!" Houshou shouted. "Colleague-san is out there, just waiting to try and hurt John. Didn't it occur to you that he might have done something to mess up your suggestion?!"
"Please stop." I whispered, covering my ears with my hands, finally getting my voice to work. They didn't hear me.
"Hey." Eliot tried to interrupt them. "Keep it down."
They ignored her and carried on arguing. Instead, she turned to me.
"Are you alright?" She asked again. I didn't answer her. I felt so sick. My forehead was burning up. I could hear my heart beating in my ears.
"Maybe we should leave." Eliot suggested, after my silence.
I didn't want to answer; I couldn't. I had to stay quiet. Keep quiet.
Keep quiet.
I am trying to scratch as much information as I can into the wall behind the bed. But I have to be quiet. They know someone broke into that office. They've been taking people all day. For questioning. To solitary isolation.
I hear that they found out because of a trigger alarm system. As soon as 'the intruder' went in, it was recorded. And when the staff checked the records, they saw someone had entered without permission. And that person was me.
It's only a matter of time before they question me. After hearing that phone call, I left, disgusted. I had managed to walk quiet far away from that office before an orderly found me. Lots of patients had used the fire panic as an opportunity to try and escape, but everyone was caught. Now, they've been going through everyone who was found outside their cells to try and figure out who entered the office.
Every now and again, someone walks past the door, and I freeze, in case they hear me. I have to stay quiet, or else they'll come in, realise what I'm doing, and they'll know it was me. But each time, the footsteps have passed, and I've been left in peace.
But it won't be for long. I know this. I just have to write it down, so I don't forget. Or, if I…if I have to go for a walk, then whoever comes next will know.
Footsteps come again. But this time, they stop outside the door.
Feeling bile at my mouth, I drag the bed back to the wall as quickly and quietly as I can.
The door slams open. Saburou is standing there.
"Come with me." He demands. Fear gets the better of me, and I shake my head, cowering from him.
He is grabbing me, dragging me away. No. I struggle from him. No no no. If he takes me away, if they find out…
He hits me, hard, and I fall limp. Now, he easily drags me away. I can hear someone asking about where he's taking me.
"Solitary isolation. He found out about 'it'. He needs to forget."
Shit. Terror seizes me. How did they know? Someone else comes, a doctor, and asks how he knows.
"We've questioned everyone else. It has to be him." Saburou snarls. I try to bite back my fear, and struggle from him, scratching his already scarred hands. He does not react to the pain, but hits me again.
As I fall to the ground, I see the person who asked Saburou why he knew it was me.
"Help…" I whisper to him in English. He looks like he is paralysed.
"Kazuki, please, help!" I shout to him. Saburou pulls me to my feet, and yanks me away.
"Kazuki!" He is standing, motionless. Horrified. "Kazuki, please! Please!"
Then I am dragged form the room, and Kazuki is snatched from my sight.
"Kazuki…" I whisper, my mind unable to comprehend what is happening. How helpless I am.
It is dark in solitary isolation, just like last time. He throws me down into a chair, and ties my wrists together around the back. My feet are tied to the legs of the chair.
"Go get the serum." Saburou shouts to an orderly.
"It might take a while. We're still making the new batch after the last were lost in the fire." The orderly explains casually.
Saburou looks angry, but there is a hint of glee in his eyes. It scares me. "I guess I'll just have to do it old-style until it's ready."
My heart is pounding faster than I've ever heard it before. My entire body is trembling. What is he going to do? I watch him move away into the darkness. Before he does, he turns on that stereo player. It plays the same music that was played when I was here before. What is he going to do? He'll keep torturing me until I tell him. But as soon as I tell him, I'm dead.
He returns with a knife.
"Now, you're going to answer my questions." He tells me, looking at the blade. "Got that?"
I have to keep quiet.
"Got that?" He shouts, swiping the blade. It cuts my shoulder.
I have to keep quiet.
"I said," He kneels in front of me. I'm so scared. Keep quiet. Keep quiet.
"Have. You." He lifts my chin and places the knife at my throat. Don't move. Keep quiet.
"Got. That?" He stares at me, waiting for an answer.
Don't move.
Don't say a word.
Just keep quiet.
Lin realised something was wrong when John had started to shake. Eliot was trying to talk to him, but it looked like he wasn't listening.
"Fine!" Houshou's rage had considerably lowered. "Fine. You're right. I just wish you had told me. That is all."
Kazuya exhaled slowly. "…Fine. I apologise for not telling you. But we managed to get the information we needed. We can finally stop colleague-san."
Houshou turned to talk to John, but stopped when he saw him. "John? Are you alright?"
John did not answer. He was staring at the floor, hands over his ears.
Lin moved forwards, careful not to make any sudden movements. "Father Brown. Can you hear me?"
Again, John did not answer.
Eliot made to touch him, but Lin held out a hand. "Don't touch him." He said quietly. "Give him some space. Something's wrong."
Eliot backed away, her face sullen. There was complete silence now. Lin stood in front of John, and lowered his head so that he was on level with John's.
"…John. Are you with us?" He asked softly. Now, Lin could see just how pale John looked. The manner of his eyes – wide and terrorised, staring at something Lin couldn't see – was disturbing.
When John did not reply again, Lin began to feel concern intrude into his mind.
"John," he repeated carefully, "are you with us? Can you talk?"
"Talk."
I gasp with pain. My chest is stinging and aching. The cuts hurt. The bruises hurt.
He hits me again. "Talk."
I cry out. He walks behind me, and pushes me forwards in the chair, as far as I can go with my hands tied behind it.
"Tell me what you know." The blade of the knife comes into contact with the burn wound.
The pain is bad. Worse than anything I've ever experienced. A searing hot pain spreads like a firework through my back, spreading through my veins and my bones. It feels like I'm being burnt all over again.
Amid my screams, I hear him shouting again and again, "What do you know? What do you know?"
The pain continues. Stop, stop, stop, please, stop…please stop…
"Please stop…please stop…"
"I'll stop when you tell me."
The knife pushes harder. I arch my back away from him, the ropes starting to cut into my skin. He pushes again, and again. It's too much.
"Roku Monsuta!" I scream. "Roku Monsuta!"
"Roku Monsuta!" John was getting more and more restless. Frantic.
Lin glanced at Kazuya, who was staring in confusion and horror at John. Eliot, pale, turned away and got out a phone, then began speaking in fast paced English.
"Roku Monsuta!" He screamed. "Just stop, stop, stop…" He broke off, his voice filled with pain.
"What's wrong with him?" Takigawa tried to move closer, but Lin stopped him.
"I think…" He paused. "I think he's remembering it. Solitary isolation."
Saburou stops. He moves away, troubled. I drop my head, taking deep breaths, trying to control the pain. My vision fades, but I force myself to stay awake. Saburou is calling to another orderly, telling him to hurry up.
I realise I've made a terrible mistake. They know it was me now. They know it was me, for sure. They won't stop. They're going to kill me.
I try to hold back a sob as Saburou returns. He is holding a needle.
Houshou stared at John in horror. What the hell had happened? One moment, he had been fine. The next…
John was backing away now, shaking his head, pleading to someone. He fell on the sofa, cowering at an invisible man. "No…no…don't…no…I've told you everything…Please, I've told you everything…"
Saburou, finished with his job, turns to another orderly. "He needs to forget." I can barely see from the blood in my eyes.
"What shall we do with him?"
"Put him into the room."
What room? I try to ask, but no words come from my mouth. Someone unties my hands and my feet. Someone grabs me. I'm scared. What are they going to do with me? I'm scared. Someone help me. Please, someone help me.
They drag me to a room inside solitary isolation. I can see the door to it. The walls are very thick.
Someone help me.
"What are you going to do to me?" My terror asks.
Nobody responds. I try to struggle.
"Let me go! What are you going to do to me?!" I shout. Someone opens the door. Someone is dragging me inside. I'm so scared.
"Let me go! Let me go!" I scream.
They throw me into the room.
It's dark in here.
Why is it so dark?
I fumble about. It's so quiet. Where am I?
A light flickers on. It blinds me for a moment.
Then I see what is around me. The walls are covered in…vents…?
I look at the floor. I can see a stain that covers a lot of the floor. A dark stain.
I swallow, and it sounds unnaturally loud. This isn't right. My heart speeds up, and I can hear it, so loud. What is this? Why is it so loud? My breathing is deafening.
The realisation comes down on me.
I'm in the room. I'm in the silent room.
The room that makes you go mad.
"Let me out!" I scream, clawing on the door I have just come through. "Let me out!"
It's so quiet, so silent, and yet I can hear myself so loudly.
"Let me out!" The more I shout, the worse it gets. But I can't stay in here. The silence, the awful silence, it's too much. It's too much.
I stare at the dark stain. Who was in here before? Is that blood?
How long have I been in here? I can't tell. It feels like a long, long, time. The blood pumping around me, I can hear it, each pulse of my heart, it's so loud, so silent in here, I don't like it, it needs to stop, please stop –
The stain moves. It is moving. Why? What is going on? Stains can't move.
But this one can. It moves. It rises and materialises into someone.
"Oh, poor little John." Saburou sneers. He has the brand in his scarred hands. "All alone. No one is here to help you. No one cares."
I cower from him, before he hurts me again. "Let me out." I sob. "Let me out."
"Always alone. No one really cares about you. You're just something to be picked up and used and thrown away. Do you really think anybody would care about you?"
I tremble in a corner. He raises his voice. My heart won't stop beating and making noise. I want it to be quiet.
"Do you?! Do you really think anybody could ever care about you?! You're not needed. Just a failure. A disappointment." His voice changes. It sounds like my father. "And you'll always be alone."
I scream again and again. It's torture. But I can't stop.
"Let me out!" John was in hysterics now. "Let me out! Let me out!" He kept on screaming and screaming. The pain and terror in his voice was frightening.
Houshou could only stand, helpless and in shock. No one seemed to know what to do. Kazuya hadn't moved. Neither had Lin. They were both just staring, at a loss.
Houshou moved forwards, barging past Lin. "John."
John just carried on screaming.
"John!" He grabbed John by the shoulders, who flinched and tried to escape from his grip.
"John, you have to wake up! You're not there anymore! You're with me!"
The noise won't stop. It won't stop. So I don't stop screaming. All logic is gone now. All sense of my self. All that is left is the awful, terrible, silence.
Blood goes into my mouth, and I almost inhale it. It makes me cough a lot. Everything hurts. I want to leave. I'm so scared. Please, please stop.
I think someone is calling me, but maybe it is Saburou, so I don't respond. I just want to cry. I want it all to stop.
"John, wake up!"
I can't stop screaming.
"John, please! You're not there anymore!"
The door suddenly opens.
John stopped screaming.
By now, Houshou had placed his hands around John's head, staring into his eyes, trying to get some kind of response, trying to get his words to reach John's mind.
Now, John looked back at Houshou. For a moment, he looked confused. Then scared. Then shocked.
"It's over. You're with us." Houshou whispered. "You're with me."
John tried to speak. He couldn't stop trembling. His breathing was still heavy. His words failed.
In the end, he broke down. Tentatively, Houshou wrapped his arms around John, who clung tightly onto Houshou in response and began to sob. His cries were wrenched with grief and pain and sheer, sheer terror.
"I was so scared." His voice was barely audible. "I'm so scared. I don't know what to do. I…" He dissolved into tears again.
"It's ok." Houshou ran his hand up and down John's back. "That's ok." He found himself lacking words of comfort. For such words – 'don't be scared', 'you're safe' – they had no real meaning, did they? John was scared. He had a right to be scared. And his safeness was not guaranteed. So pretending that there was nothing to be scared of…that was just demeaning. Untrue. It would not help, and John knew that, Houshou was sure.
So, instead, Houshou let John cry and cry. Crying would at least allow him to open up all that terror, instead of locking it away inside himself, where it would cause no end of damage.
Around them, there was noise and chaos. Without noticing who they were, Houshou realised people were coming into the room. Someone was demanding what had happened. Another was making phone calls. One of the officers tried to speak to them – Conor, maybe – but both Houshou and John ignored him. There would be time to speak later. Right now, it wasn't important.
From the looks of things, Conor was guessing that Kazuya had tried a hypnotic suggestion. And, somehow, it had gone horribly wrong.
After dropping off Houshou at the SPR office, Conor had gone onto contact some of his superiors back in the US, who wanted to know exactly what was going on, and how R.M had become involved. The meeting had not gone on long, though, before Conor had heard about the shooting incident that Sinead and Chosovi had witnessed. He had barely just managed to rush over to the scene when Sinead received a phone call from Eliot, stating something about John remembering important information.
Now, Sinead stood, her face pale as she took in the scene. She saw the equipment set up for a hypnotic suggestion, saw John shaking and crying while Houshou comforted him. And her gaze fell on Kazuya.
"What happened?" Sinead asked slowly, her jaw clenched. Conor knew she was using all of her will-power to restrain herself from shouting.
"I'll explain." Eliot intervened quickly, who could tell just how pissed off Sinead was. "Kazuya did the hypnotic interview. But," she went on quickly, before Sinead could murder Kazuya, "it was fine. From what I saw, it worked. Nothing bad actually happened. It was…I think it was when Kazuya and Houshou began to argue that John's memory got triggered."
While Eliot explained, Conor turned to Houshou and John. Neither of them seemed interested in what was going on around them.
"Hey." Conor tried to speak to Houshou. "Are you ok?"
Houshou glanced at him briefly, but did not reply. Behind him, Conor could hear Sinead getting more and more exasperated.
"What did he remember?" She asked, this time addressing Lin.
"…The anechoic chamber." He said it with only a slight hesitation.
Sinead put her hand to her head. "Shit." She looked ready to lash out at something. "Why did you allow this to happen?"
"Sinead, there are important things you need to know." Lin began.
"I don't care." Sinead snapped. "All I care about right now is that John is –"
"Sinead." Chosovi interrupted her, standing very close in front of her. She placed her hands on Sinead's shoulders. "Take a breath."
Sinead did this. "…You're right." She decided, even though Chosovi hadn't said much. "It's done. We can't change it." She looked over at John. "We need to get him somewhere quiet, and give him a little space."
In the end, it was the others who moved into Houshou's kitchen. As they discussed the information that had been discovered, Sinead listening begrudgingly, Houshou finally felt John's fear subside a little. He untangled himself from Houshou's embrace, and rubbed his eyes.
"I'm sorry." He muttered.
"Why should you be?" Houshou asked in response, and John nodded miserably.
"Look. How about we talk?"
Sitting down on his sofa beside John, painfully ignoring the light that was used in the hypnotic suggestion, Houshou put his hand on John's shoulder.
"…I won't ask you to talk about what happened in solitary isolation. Not if you don't want to. Maybe, if you don't want to tell me right now, you can tell me a different time. When you've had a chance to calm down about it."
John nodded in agreement.
"But…you should talk about what else happened. Why you were there to begin with."
Again, John nodded, and took a deep breath.
"…I…I found this office. Remember that room we found at the Ward?" His voice still shook. "The one that was burnt badly?"
"Oh, yeah…and that spirit said you had gone in there?"
John nodded. "Well…I went in. And…there were files. On me, and Kazuki, and Sinead as well."
Houshou frowned. "On Sinead-san?"
"Yeah. And they mentioned R.M." He pulled his arms across himself. "And there were these order receipts for some drugs. Sinead figured out it was…about a drug dealing operation…But…" He pursed his lips. "They were all signed by a person called 'Hiroto Sato'. All except for one. An order receipt on a book about Hanakotoba."
Houshou paled. "You mean…"
"His name is Yakunan Soku. Colleague-san is Yakunan Soku."
The mere name was enough to make Houshou feel unnerved. Such a strange name. But with that uncomfortable feeling of eeriness came a surge of realised joy.
"Wait…we know his name now! We might be able to find him! Say, we might have records about him, or his fingerprints or DNA –"
"But will we even be able to find him from that? Does it even matter?" John's voice was flat and empty, but underneath that apathy was a hint of fear. Through the course of this mad situation, ever since Houshou had met John to begin with, Houshou had seen so many parts of John's personality. He had seen his joy, his kindness, his reasonable thinking during tough situations. He had seen sadness, anger, determination. But this…Houshou had never seen him so vulnerable. So terrified.
"Listen. I know you're scared, and that's ok." Houshou put his hand against John's face. "But don't think that it's any reason to give up. After all you've been through, don't give up now."
John thought about it for a moment. Finally, he nodded.
"…But…there's more."
Houshou steeled himself for what else John had discovered. "What is it?"
"I…I picked up a phone. At the office. And…someone rang colleague…someone rang Yakunan Soku. To tell him that 'Roku Monsuta had found a place to dispose of the bodies, a place that they could buy for a low price'. Because they didn't want them…too near the site…and they couldn't use the grave yard anymore…" He was holding back tears.
"Wait…what do you mean?" Houshou asked, feeling a sick pit in his stomach.
"We thought it was the burial site in Shiroku that was used to get rid of the bodies. We were wrong." He gripped Houshou's hand tightly. "We were wrong. They just…dumped them there! Left them there to rot!" He stopped, and took a deep breath.
"Left them where?"
"…At the abandoned house."