A/N: I told you this was a slow burn. The citrus is coming, all in good time.
Edward's POV
My days with Bella in my home fell into a blissful rhythm; her waking in my arms, Bella eating the breakfast that Esme so lovingly prepared, a trip to the meadow, or a drive around to a neighboring town to peek into quaint little shops, watching her cook with my mother in the evenings, cuddled together in our niche by the river, her falling asleep with us wrapped around each other. Outside of my burning lust, I had never been happier.
My Bella had been here with us in Washington for almost two weeks, and it felt like she had always been here. Last week, we had driven into Seattle, and she had picked out a gigantic Range Rover in Rimini Red. I had to tease her about compensating for her size. She took it with grace, as she had so much fun buying the monstrosity. I had to admit, she looked smoking hot driving it.
I was happy that at least it had an adequate safety rating, and a shit-load of airbags. Emmett was in love with it, and Rosalie had already crawled all over it, making a list of improvements she wanted to do. Bella gave her the go-ahead, which pleased Rose to no end.
We had words when I tried to pay for the car, but in the end, I conceded. I was rather proud of her independence. As much as I wanted to spoil her rotten, she impressed me with her strength.
She didn't know I had already ordered her a black credit card from the family account, in the name of Isabella Cullen. I'd have to keep that tidbit to myself for the time being.
I had also ordered her engagement ring from Tiffany's. I hoped she wouldn't object too strongly about the six carat diamond. I know, ostentatious, but that's the cost of being the wife of an obscenely rich man. I'd have her dripping with diamonds, if I had my way.
The only real fly in the ointment of our idyllic days was Bella's lust. She did everything she could to tempt me, and if I weren't already dead, she would have killed me by now. The night of the shopping trip to Seattle, she had come out of the bathroom, dressed in a tiny, midnight blue, silk nighty. It clung to her body like a second skin, and I suddenly forgot to breathe. I managed to get her to go to sleep, trying my damnedest to keep my hands off of her. It wasn't easy.
The next night, it was a soft, peach colored satin number.
The following night, a cherry red, lace, two piece thing, with barely-there panties.
I took a lot of showers.
Tonight, the night that nearly shattered my resolve (and my tenuous hold on my control) was the one when she came out of the bathroom wearing a floor length white nightgown. It was chiffon, and it floated around her, making her look like the angel that I knew her to be. Thin straps held up small triangles of fabric against her beautiful breasts, hiding nothing. My mind filled with images of our wedding night, what it would be like to peel her white gown away, claiming her as my wife.
I almost dropped to my knees, not sure if it was to beg for mercy or permission. She stepped into my arms, and her scent surrounded me. I nearly broke. "Bella..." I groaned.
"Edward," her whisper in my ear was an aphrodisiac. Her hands threaded into my hair and clenched, drawing my face down to hers. I swallowed back the venom and proceeded to lose myself in her kiss. It took a few minutes to realize that I had her ass cupped in my hands, pulling her against my hardness.
I quickly dropped my hands and stepped back, panting like I had run a race, "Bella, you don't play fair."
She was panting herself, and her color was high as she smiled softly, "I never promised to play fair, babe."
"I should stop staying in your bed..." It pained me to say that, but it might be for the best.
She was instantly back in my arms, clutching my shoulders, "No! Please, don't... I'm sorry. I'll behave." I could see tears welling in her eyes. "I can't sleep without you. Please..."
I wrapped my arms around her, careful to keep my hands well above her waist, "Shh, love. I'll stay." I kissed her eyes, her cheeks, her brow, and finally, her lips, "We agreed to wait. These tricks of yours are killing me, Bella. I'm only a man."
She sniffled and buried her face in my neck, "I know. I'm sorry. It's your fault, you know."
"My fault? How so?"
She pulled back to look up at me, tracing her fingers down my cold cheek, "You had to be so gorgeous and sexy. You make me want you. Badly."
"And I want you, as well. More than you can comprehend." I swept her up and carried her to our bed. I refrained from tucking her in, because I'm not an idiot, but I did pull the duvet over her before moving to my side of our bed.
My side. Of our bed. I shivered slightly. I really, really had to get a ring on her finger, and soon. I would check on the package tracking as soon as she fell asleep.
When I had her spooned against me, her back pressed to my front, my nose buried in her silky, fragrant hair, I settled into stillness, hoping she would grow drowsy quickly.
My luck doesn't run that way, it would appear.
"Edward," she whispered.
"Yes, love of my life?" I whispered back, softly stroking her arm.
"Will you... will you ever change me?"
Damn it. "You want to die so badly?"
"I want to be like you, so we can be together forever."
"I want forever with you as well, love. I'm just having an issue with... ending your life." Oh, leave this alone, Bella!
"I don't see it as an ending, Edward."
I sighed, "It's time to sleep, love. We can talk about this another time."
"I guess..." she sighed heavily and snuggled against me. "But you do want me, right?"
"Oh, Bella, I want you like no man has ever wanted a woman." I pressed my lips to the hollow behind her ear and I felt her tremble against me.
"Will you... touch me? Just a little? I need to feel... desired."
Surely some light touching couldn't hurt... could it? I traced my fingers down her arm, and then back up, around her shoulder, across her collar bone.
"More," she breathed.
I cupped her throat, feeling her pulse beating fast against my fingers, then traced back down to just above her breast bone. She took my hand and pressed it to her breast. I reacted without thinking, feeling her hard nipple insistent against my palm. I moaned softly and pressed my erection against her sweet round derriere. "Bella..." I groaned with hunger. I moved my hand to take her tight bud between my fingers through the thin material, knowing that I was playing with fire, but it felt so good to touch her. She moaned and arched her back, pushing herself closer to my teasing fingers.
Overwhelmed, and close to losing control, I suddenly swept my hand down her stomach, cupping my hand firmly over her sex, growling, "Damn it, Bella! I want you. Haven't I proven that? Why must you torment me?" I thrust myself hard against her ass, as she gasped.
With all the strength I could muster, I rolled to my back, putting distance between her over-heated body and my cold one. I was thoroughly disgusted with myself, sucking in a huge lungful of air and blowing out forcefully.
She sat up, her hair tumbling around her shoulders, looking at me with wide, horrified eyes, then she dropped her face into her hands. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm... I don't... I'm such a horrible person! Please forgive me! I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to leave me. Oh Edward, please don't leave me," she sobbed.
Shocked, I couldn't move for a few seconds. Leave her? Where would she get the idea that I wanted to leave her? This was my fault, not hers! I'm the man. I should know better, have more control. I was a hundred and five, for fuck's sake! Although I had never felt more of a seventeen your old boy than at that moment. I had made my love cry.
I swept her into my arms, curling my body around her, crooning into her hair, "Shh, love. I would never leave you. You are my heart. You are my reason to exist. I would as soon tear out my own heart as leave you. Please don't cry. I'm sorry, love."
Her tears lessened, trailing off into sniffles as I continued to whisper a litany of apologies and comfort. She slid her arms around my neck, burying her face in my chest. I wanted to rip my own throat out, punishment for the pain my words had caused her.
"Isabella, my love, please look at me," I begged. She raised her tear-stained face, to mine, her eyes puffy and red. "Sweetheart, please forgive me. I'm so sorry. I never want to make you cry. My heart is broken."
"You didn't do anything wrong," she sniffed. "You asked me to wait, and I agreed. And then I started acting like a whore-"
"Bella! No! Never!" I cut off her words. "You act so mature, at times I forget that you're only eighteen, and in love for the first time. And to be fighting a mate bond with a vampire on top of it? I'd say you've done remarkably well, love. I don't blame you for your desire. I promise you, I don't. I'm frustrated at myself, more than anything. Because I do want you. Desperately." I nuzzled her neck, "I want to strip off those scandalous nightgowns you've been wearing and make you mine. But this... sex and lovemaking and desire... it means so much to me. It's not just my body that wants you, Bella. It's my mind, and my heart... and my soul, if I have one. And I want you to be my wife before that happens. Do you understand?"
She nodded slightly, still pressed against my chest.
"So, if you can just be a little patient with me, I promise we will be together, in every way. Just give me some time, okay?"
She nodded again. I laid her back on her pillow and dashed to the bath to get a warm wet cloth for her poor tear-ravaged face.
When I had her calmed and settled, snuggled under the covers and wrapped up tightly in my arms, she finally whispered, "I love you so, so much Edward. The word seems so small now, compared to what I feel. There needs to be a new word, just for us."
I chuckled and kissed the top of her head, "I love you beyond all imagination, Bella. Please believe me."
"I do," she whispered, kissing my neck and relaxing in my arms. I couldn't wait to hear those words in another context altogether.
As soon as I was sure she was deeply asleep, I eased out of bed and grabbed my laptop, jumping out of my window to the deck. With a few clicks, I confirmed the Fed Ex tracking for my package from New York. It would arrive tomorrow, and Fed Ex dropped here in the morning. That meant tomorrow was the day.
Tomorrow, I would be asking my Bella to marry me.
E/N: Oh, how exciting! I wonder how he'll do it? *smirk* Of course I know. Like I haven't been planning this since the story started. LOL
I'm still in the competition for reviews, but Jess has agreed to go to 1,100 to give me a sporting chance! So review! It doesn't have to be a long one, even just a smiley or frowny! It's the numbers that count!