AN: Hey guys just a quick update to let you know I have not forgotten about it! Lots of love for all my readers!
Chapter 38
Working it Out
I held onto her hands, knowing that she could literally rip my heart into little tiny shreds once again, this time just with her words. I stared into her eyes, and felt like I was looking directly into her soul. I hadn't realised how guarded she had been around me until now. I could see the worry in her eyes being clouded out by the hope that had started to make her eyes glow. I loved how expressive her eyes were, the variance in the color blue was dependent upon her mood.
I don't know how long we sat there staring into each other's eyes. The TV was on low in the background some sports recap but neither of us paid it any attention. Steph finally snapped out of whatever trance we were stuck in and pulled her hands from mine. "I have reservations about giving you my heart again. I thought we were going somewhere when I got out of the hospital, but then you began ignoring me and paying more attention to your phone than me. This has not been the easy start to my life here as I had hoped it would be. If we are going to do this, or try to do this, we are going to take it slow. We are going to date before we sleep together, what we had and still have is once in a lifetime, there's no use rushing and turning it into something we throw away."
As Steph talked I nodded my head, eyes full of understanding. "Secondly, I have to have time for work and horses, thankfully you work and ride at the same place and probably understand the feeling that working with horses give you. I've arranged with Ranger to start work doubles so that my weekends are free or on call. But that means my weekdays are long and I will be tough to pin down for any length of time."
I could see the wheels spinning for a moment before she seemed to blurt out uncontrollably "Why, why the hell couldn't he tell me about going back to his family, why not just tell me that's who he was talking to. If he had all of this never would have happened. Oh Stephanie you stupid stupid girl, why didn't you ever ask who he was talking to. Communication is key here you dumb dumb."
Grabbing her hands that were flailing around wildly, unnoticed by her, seemed to shock her out of her trance like state. Mortified, she slapped her hands over her mouth, only now realising that her inner rant was out loud. "Oh my god Roper I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for th-" Not thinking a quickly quieted her by pressing my mouth over hers. Her soft lips quieted against mine, so I pulled back slowly, pressing my forehead against hers.
I felt Steph relax against me, moving her head to my shoulder and scooting herself into my lap. Resting my cheek onto the top of her head we just sat there, both holding on for what to me seemed like dear life. It wasn't long before I felt the sniffles from Stephanie, which were quickly turning into full out crocodile tears. As I held her tightly and rocked her, whispering sweet nothings, something broke inside me as well. Tears trailing down my face as we cried together, I cried for the memories she had lost, the time we missed, her pain to regain those memories and for my stupidity.
That night on her couch, we held on so tight, and cried. Both of us looking to each other for comfort and knowing that finally we can make things right. That we would both work hard for our relationship, as individuals and for one another. There would be a future for us, I would work my hardest to make it happen.