A Better Way

"You fool." Jaheira hissed, "Of all the idiotic, mule-headed… by the horns of Silvanus, I should – you stubborn, blind fool!"

My eyes cracked open; everything was a blur. Slowly, my sight aligned itself, adjusting for the sharp sunlight. It felt warm, smoky, burning wood; I felt constrained. Blankets. My… cell? Candlekeep? No… Nalia's.

"I should kill you myself!" She fumed, "Don't you dare die on me! We haven't finished this!"

"Ja-Jaheira?"

"Child! You're awake! Praise Silvanus, I–" Rushing to side, she checked my brow, eyes, held my chin, "Can you hear me? How do you feel?"

"Hungry…"

"If you ever pull such a stunt again, I – I'll–" The tirade halted as abruptly as it had started, "You…" She caressed my cheek with a forefinger, "you foolish, foolish boy." Tears formed; something I never thought I'd see from her, and then she hugged me tightly, planting her lips in my hair. I felt the hot liquid fall, lost amidst my locks. One ran down to my parched lips; I tasted salt. Feebly, I tried to raise my arm and failed.

She leaned back, tawny eyes fierce, "Promise me you'll never, never do that again!"

"I can't–"

"Damn you!" For an instant, I feared she would slap me, "Why are you all so selfish? How nobly you give yourselves; do you ever think of those leave you behind?!"

"She was… dying…"

"And so were you!" She all but screamed, "How can I protect you if you won't let me? Must you make me fail this vow too?! I couldn't protect Imoen; I promised Gorion and – you – you…" She turned away.

"Jaheira…"

"No! I will hear no more of it!"

"I'm… I'm sorry I scared you."

"No you're not! If you were, you'd promise not to do so again!"

Back still towards me, I stared at her, and sighed slowly. "You said I was… dying?"

"Yes! I couldn't stop it! Something stopped it; someone! It wasn't any of us."

"…Imoen…" The word came to my lips unbidden; a flash of memory, a memory of a memory. Something in her… halted it.

"You were dissipating, like Sarevok!"

I closed my eyes. I had failed.

"Don't you dare go to sleep on me!"

"I… Imoen… she…"

There was nothing either of us could say. Finally, Jaheira demanded, wheeling around, "Why? Why then?"

"She… needed me. I… I was losing. The skull… all I could think of was… wrath. It told me to destroy her, destroy you… it would have won. She… she is everything, everything that is left. He – he took something from her… she was fading, dying… I couldn't… all…" The effort to speak was too much; my throat closed up. Slowly, Jaheira nodded, tears welling up anew.

"I thought I'd lost you," she whispered, then ashamed, couldn't look at me, "I… I was preparing to end you."

"I know…" My eyes flittered shut, "The skull told me. I… couldn't. Wouldn't. It tried to make me. It almost succeeded. Next – next time–"

Jaheira shook her head, "It couldn't."

"It did. It called me a sacrifice… demanding an offering."

"You sacrificed yourself for your sister." Her light touch brought me back; I squeezed my eyes open. "For an instant… I thought I saw…" She shook her head, sighed, and after a moment, finished, "Bhaal's taint was upon you; in your eyes I saw crimson, rivers… oceans of blood. I saw… a skull. Before you… before you fell, I saw… something else. Something… deeper. For a heartbeat… I saw love. Your love." Closing her eyes, she shook herself, "I… forgive me for ever doubting you. What I saw… what they all saw… you… you truly love her. Even more than yourself."

Slowly, I nodded.

Her embrace was fierce; almost smothering me. Her warmth, so firm, so reassuring, gave me something to cling to. Somehow, my mouth worked of its own accord.

"It… it doesn't understand, can't understand. The… skull."

Through widening eyes, she nodded, then again, more firmly. I felt her resolve steel itself. "It cannot," she agreed finally, "that is always the way."

Despite everything, the darkness within didn't rule.

Softly, she kissed my brow, "Rest child." She smoothed my hair, "rest."