Love
Love: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
Dark clouds covered the sun as pouring rain fell over the city of Tokyo. Sesshomaru stood by his office window, once again thinking of her. The relationship between him and her returned to as it was before. Only this time, Sesshomaru had come to accept that what he felt for Kagome…was love. Although he no longer had the control to deny this, he would control his desire to reveal such feelings. No, he would never reveal to her his true desires. He would watch her from a far, as a friend, as she lived her life.
Stab
He was determined to see that she find a worthy man to marry.
Stab
And live happily. He would continue to watch over her safety and health.
Stab
For her and her children.
Stab
And though she passes on,
Stab
He would continue to watch over her descendants.
Stab
Sesshomaru grasped his chest to ease the pain that was overflowing. He would not be selfish to reveal his desires when he was unable to ensure her happiness. He could not claim her as his, extend her life, nor give her children. She would only waste away before his eyes. An image of her hollow blue eyes burned into his mind.
No, she would not find happiness with him.
His grasp on his chest tightened along with his closed eyes and clenched jaw. Stab…stab…stab…every heart beat seemed like knives plunging through his heart. Returning his eyes to face the window, he wondered if the rain would wash away the pain.
-Evening-
Already seven in the evening, Sesshomaru grabbed to loosen his tie and released a sigh. He was not able to do much work or concentrate for the matter. He heard the pounding of the pouring rain from the window. Wondering if Kagome got home safely, he stared at his cellphone pondering on whether to call her or not. Mentally shaking his head at the foolish thought, he exited his office.
Ding
The elevator opened to reveal Kagome waiting inside.
"Oh! Sesshomaru! Are you on your way home? I was wondering if you could drop me off too!" She asked, sending a sweet smile to his direction.
"You did not leave?" He inquired, knowing that she usually left at 6.
"I lost track of time. And now I'm late, so I had to ask you for a ride. The trains will take forever to get home due to the rain." She said as she began to fidget with her fingers.
"Late?" He asked amused at what could possibly make her nervous.
"Ya," a sudden light blush appeared on her cheeks, making his heart skip a beat, or five.
"I have a date tonight," she said while diverting her eyes away from him, trying to hide the reddening blush.
Meanwhile, Sesshomaru was struggling with the growl that needed to be released at the thought of Kagome holding another man. The image only made his gold eyes briefly flash red. Struggling to supress his boiling anger, he remained silent. Sesshomaru continued to remain silent as he drove to Kagome's condo, still struggling with the anger inside of him. As they arrived, Kagome readied her umbrella to avoid getting drenched in the rain. Looking outside his car, he saw that the rain was still pouring down.
"Thank you Sesshomaru." She said before getting out of his car.
As she closed the door to his car, he heard her say, "Good-bye."
Her words echoed in his mind. She was only saying good-bye for the day, yet why did his heart clench so painfully? Why did it seem like she was walking out of his life? Out of his reach? He wanted to scoff at the foolish thoughts that filled his head. Yet, watching her walk away from him all the rational thoughts silenced and made his control slip. He rushed out of his car and grabbed her wrist. Ignoring the pouring rain that drenched his suit and silver hair, he only saw her surprised blue eyes looking into his.
"Sesshomaru! You're all wet now!" She exclaimed while pushing her umbrella to cover him. Holding onto her hand that grasped the umbrella, he pushed it to cover her to keep her from the rain. Ice cold raindrops drenched him. He felt his heart turn ice cold as if the raindrops were sinking into his heart.
"Kagome…" He uttered, with a heavy heart at the burning image of Kagome smiling at another man.
"Promise me something…as a friend." He continued with a sad smile, revealing a bit of his pained heart to her. Wishing for her to realize the pain he felt. Wishing for her to know his desires.
"Anything, Sesshomaru" She quickly replied, with her blue eyes filled with trust, as always.
"Promise…You'll never leave my side…" He rasped out heavily, knowing this was the limit of how close he was able to remain with her. His hand that held hers briefly tightened. He saw a smile that he would capture and remember forever. Her blue eyes glowed softly and her lips graced a lovely smile that tugged at his heart.
"Always" She promised with happiness expressed through her eyes.
Sesshomaru let his clawed hand that held her warm ones slip away. 'This is enough' he thought to himself. It had to be enough. Any more would be selfish of him. He wondered when he had begun to be a demon that cared for another person's happiness instead of his own.
'Only her,' Sesshomaru thought. He would give anything for her happiness, even if it meant giving up his own happiness. He watched Kagome walk into her condo and disappear from his sight. Once gone, he looked up into the pouring sky with his eyes closed.
He had been wrong… the pouring rain did not seem to ease the pain that remained in his heart. Hearing the rain pounding against the cement floor, he allowed himself one last selfish desire before locking it away.
One last selfish desire before remaining at her side as only a friend.
'I love you' his heart whispered into the pouring rain, leaving the rain to wash away any evidence of his feelings.
As if the pouring rain heard the inuyoukai's silent cry, the rain began to pour down harder to weep for the inuyoukai who could not.
Author's Note: 'Sob' came a cry from the author. 'What do you think of this chapter?' the author still crying asks.
Thank you for reading.
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