Sometimes people put up walls, not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.

- Bananna

Elena was sitting on the couch downstairs, she kept her eyes closed, listening to Caroline's and Damon's dialog upstairs. Every time she would hear Damon grunt from Caroline pulling out splinter, shivers went through her. It physically hurt her realizing the impact of her actions on Damon. He was in agony just because of her. Elena's mind kept coming back to that moment, the shock in Damon's eyes when she actually staked him haunted her.

Going back Elena could remember her trying to fight her alter ego, from the moment Damon challenged to kill him, she was struggling inside, as if pulling herself in two different directions. She didn't want to kill Damon, never in a million years she could imagined her life without him. She was loosing battle with herself up until the last moment, fighting with everything she had, she forced her hand to slip and miss Damon's heart. It was tiny thing, but that centimeter made all the difference in the world. It was right then she dominated her dark side and came back to her beloved.

Elena's eyes snapped open as she heard Caroline's footsteps. She got up from the couch just as Caroline walked in, holding bloody bowl in her hands. Seeing Damon's blood made Elena's heart skip a beat. She looked at Caroline with plea in silent question.

" I got it all out, it took a lot out of him. Damon being Damon tried to downplay his weakness but as soon as he wakes up you need to give him blood, otherwise he will not heal quickly" Caroline gave Elena small smile. She couldn't imagine how she felt, if something were to happen with Tyler… Caroline quickly brushed away the thought. Awkward silence hang in the room and Caroline excused herself to the kitchen to dispose of the bowl. She didn't know how to proceed with Elena at this point, she did want to help her, but had no idea what to say.

" I don't think I should be here" Elena made out to Stefan and Robin who both were sitting with her in the parlor. " I don't know if I can trust myself not to hurt anyone else. "

" Elena, you can't hide away for the rest of your life. Besides most of us went through something similar ... " Stefan interjected obviously referring to his Ripper days. He looked at Robin in question and she nodded.

" Yeah, I had bad years too…so don't be so hard on yourself. If it helps I am willing to forgive you and start fresh" she smiled brightly.

" Besides you can't abandon Damon, just because you are afraid. You think he will agree with your choice?"

Elena shook her head, Stefan was right Damon wouldn't approve. No matter how scared she felt of possibility to hurt someone, she had to deal with it… She had to suck it up. Guilt will not go away if she runs away from it. Elena felt lost without Damon next to her, he always knew just what to say of do to make her feel confident.

" Go home, and you'll talk to him when he wakes up" Stefan suggested.

" I can't leave him like that. I'll be upstairs" she replied not even considering idea of going home and leaving Damon alone, especially not when she was the reason he got hurt in the first place.

Standing outside of the Damon's room Elena quietly opened the door trying not to produce any loud sounds. Strip of light from the opened door light up the room, but Elena didn't need the light to see Damon. He was lying on the bed. Her heart jumped at the sight. Even with the lack of light she could see that he was more pale than usual.

She came closer to Damon, he was fast asleep, he needed to regain his strength to heal. Seeing him lying helpless on the bed made her tremble. She could've lost him forever. Elena reached out and gently brushed loose strand of hair from his forehead. He was burning up, Elena looked at the bloody bandage, that Caroline must've applied to his wound after removing splinters. She wished she could do something to help him get better faster, to take away pain and see him open his ocean blue eyes. Elena leaned in closed and kissed him softly on the forehead.

" I'm so sorry…" she whispered, kissing him again.

Damon's healing process took much longer then anyone anticipated, he spent last 2 days mostly unconscious, even when he would show signs on life he was to weak to actually wake up. Slowly his wound was getting better, there was no opportunity for him to get more blood, so he had to fight it with whatever strength he had.

Elena didn't leave his sight for a minute. It was weird for everyone, just because they are used for vampires to heal quickly. This time it was different, but then again none of the occupants of the Salvatore house were so close to death before. Damon just had luck when it came to those things…

Stefan and Robin were focused on coming up with the plan on how to proceed with the hunter. Robin managed to get close enough to get a scoop on the reason he came to the Mystic Falls. There was something more behind his interest. When Robin asked more direct questions, he got confused and he no straight answer which made her suspicious. So she wanted to get another chance to get more information out of him. She agreed to put it off until Damon gets better.

Stefan checked in with Elena every now and then. No matter how many times he urged her to get some rest of go home and change Elena would even listen. He could see that guilt was tearing her apart. He knew that his brother will be fine, he just needed time, not to say that it didn't freak him out a little. With Damon being strong one, Stefan involuntary wondered what would happen to him if he would be in that position. Damon drank human blood and no amount of animal blood could compare with that..

Elena was curled up on the armchair next to Damon's bed, she was holding a book in her hands trying to distract herself from all the thoughts that filled her head. But the only thing she managed to be distracted from was reading itself. She kept jumping to her feet every time she any sound would break the silence. For the first day Damon didn't even move, he was just lying there and it killed Elena, not being able to help him. She was pacing around four walls of his bedroom, waiting for him to do something, to show any sign of getting better, but nothing. Fever went away on the second day and she could see color returning to his face. On the second day it was much better, he still didn't wake up fully, but he tried to move. Elena was willing him to wake up so she could give him some blood. So now she was sitting, waiting…

Waiting for Damon to wake up brought memories of last time she waited in his room, when she waited for Stefan to bring cure. Once again Elena prayed for time to go faster, counting minutes into hours.

She kept thinking in her head on what she was going to say to Damon, but nothing solid formed. I mean how would one apologize to love of one's life for almost killing him? But it was not only the thought of what she was going to say to Damon that haunted her. She kept replaying in her head every memory she had from blackouts, she wondered if it will ever gets easier. She took so many lives, Elena still couldn't believe that desire for blood can cause so much havoc…

Something didn't add up, she knew that she was missing some important chunks of her memory and tried hard to concentrated and bring it back. She could remember every single kill, screams of her victims and how ruthless she was. Elena tried to push through those memories to get to the one's she missed. There was something in Robin's words from earlier when she told them about what she found out at the bar. One particular phrase stuck with her. When Robin said that that guy described his town as a box full with frogs, it stuck with Elena. She could've swore she heard it somewhere before and not too long ago….

After reviewing the events of the last week in her head Elena still couldn't understand, how she could've changed so much and turn into completely different person. She did understand the part with turning off her humanity, but not the part when she attacked Damon, when he tried to keep her home back then… Yes she did feel need to get away, but it was no strong enough to push Damon away… It was as if something was pushing her to get out… And question why she couldn't remember anything after she walked into Mystic Grill... Next thing she did remember was Damon at the grill telling her to get off the bar…It just didn't add up…Elena kept kicking ideas in her head watching Damon.

" You know I can feel you staring at me? It's creepy" She jumped as Damon's hoarse voice cut through the silence making her jump off from the armchair and rush to him.

" OHMYGOD!" she blurted out as he finally opened his blue eyes, looking around. "Damon!" Elena exclaimed. Her first instinct was to crush him in a hug, but she decided against that, thinking he will not appreciate the pain it will surely cause, she halted at her feet.
"You are okay…" she breathed out with slight relief, even knowing he will wake up eventually it drove Elena crazy. " I'm so sorry! I tried to kill you…I almost did…"

" Elena, don't" Damon tried to sat up and Elena rushed over to help him. He took her hand in his and lifted her chin so their eyes would meet. " I would've done it again if necessary… You are so worth it. My Elena is so worth it"

" How can you say that, when I skewered you?"

" Because I knew you wouldn't kill me… well not knew, hoped. I was right. I mean, after all the training you went through with me and Alaric, we both know that you know how to get to vampire's heart. If you would've wanted it, you would not miss. So now I know that even your darkest version of you cares about poor lil' me"

" Please don't ever risk your life for me like this… I'm glad you had confidence in me, but I didn't… Damon I could've killed you and lost you forever" tears were rolling of Elena's cheeks. Damon reached out to wipe them away , he cupped her face and looked into Elena's eyes.

" If not for you, then for who?" he asked not breaking eye contact, his voice husky and soft. " I will always choose you" he reminded her.

Once again Elena was mesmerized by Damon's gaze, she could feel him looking right into her soul. She wondered what she had done to deserve this kind of unconditional love from him… All she ever did was push him away in her chase to get Stefan back. She managed to stomp on his heart more times than she could count. Yet there he was, looking at her with such consuming love. For a vampire who was set to prove to everyone he was selfish and uncaring, Damon was most selfless and loyal person she knew. He didn't question Elena or tried to change her to fit her to his lifestyle, he just loved her, even after she staked him. He deserved more, he deserved more than she could ever give him.
" I love you so much, I am so sorry that I hurt you. Damon, I love you more than anything in the entire world."

" I do like the sound of that, I can live with that" Damon smiled pulling Elena to him in a hug. He winced a little at the stiffness of his movements and residue pain but holding his Elena in his arms was the best medicine he could think of.

" I love you too" he kissed top of her head.

Elena wrapped her arms around Damon in content, she didn't want to let him go. After spending two days at his bedside she never wanted to be apart from him anymore. She would've kept him in her arms but pulled back.
" First things first. You need to drink blood to heal" she answered on his frown. Elena reached over for the blood that she had prepared for him.

" Fine, I'll drink. But then you going back in my arms" Damon raised his eyebrow.

Elena smiled putting bag in his hands. Even after waking up after two day blackout, Damon was bossy and snarky and sarcastic and she loved every bit of it, she loved him to pieces just the way he was.

He was her perfect soul mate, they didn't fit the category of Epic love. It was too small and shallow for what they had, their feelings went beyond that, much deeper, stronger, consuming both of them until there was nothing left for the rest of the world. In their universe there were just two of them, two souls molded in one. They completed each other, Damon the one who was used to be on the second plan, the one who was used to being alone, the one whose love transcended through all the barriers, he loved selflessly until it would consume him whole and then there was Elena, lost human girl, the one who lost everyone she cared about, the one who was afraid to step out into the real world and make her own decisions, hiding away behind "safe", the one who was afraid to let herself feel to the full extent. Damon burst into her life without taking no for the answer, he pushed her boundaries and she broke through the walls he put around him. Now they really saw each other without pretenses, stripped down to their souls.

Damon finished drinking blood, it did feel better but he didn't care for the state of his body. He wanted, needed to feel Elena close to him. They laid down back in the bed, Elena cuddled close to him as he put his arms around her.

" Can you promise me not to risk your life like that again? Even if it is for me?" Elena asked placing her head carefully on his chest.

""People in hell want ice water, but that doesn't mean they're gonna get it" Damon answered without hesitation, with a half-smile.

" Damn you are stubborn" Elena rolled her eyes, not being able to keep smile away.

" Ditto"

Elena hugged Damon closer, he was safe and next to her. She still will have to deal with the consequences of her actions but right now, nothing could interest her more than being right there in Damon's arms.

" I love you"

Damon smiled pulling her even closer in his embrace.

" I love you too" he breathed out, closing his eyes with a grin on his face.

Hello to all of you wonderful readers!

It took me longer to write this chapter, i wrote version of it yesterday and was ready to upload.

But it felt wrong to me, so i rewrote it completely.

I am in a romantic mood so next one will be centred around love.

I find that DELENA songs from the show are very inspiring! There are of course " Holding on letting go" and

" Never let me go" from both Delena kisses=)

But their latest addition from 407 " Kiss me" is over the moon romantic. It what got me to write "soul mates" paragraph =)

So that is what was stuck on repeat in my headphones for the last week.

Please tell me what you think about this chapter I would really appreciate it!

You have no idea how much your opinions and reviews inspire me to continue! Thank you so much!

With love

V.