AN: One of my few works that does not have a theme to it.

Oh, and a side note to the person who requested this: I write every single pairing people request, no matter how long it takes me to do so. Remember that next time you overload me with requests… and don't worry, I'll have the others you requested done very soon. Although I usually update in bunches, I saw this request an hour ago and wrote it out in one sitting, because you seemed rather... enthusiastic about reading it and this was the most appealing to me of all your suggested pairings.

------------------------

"Benny."

"Maloof, my pal, how are you?" Benny grinned in a way Maloof didn't trust as he gestured to the chair across from him. "Please, sit down."

"Hmph."

Benny smirked and crossed his legs under the table, clasping his hands together. The sunlight streamed down on the quaint Paris café, the birdsong audible over the chatter of their fellow patrons. Twenty seven year old Maloof Canola sat rigid in his chair, brown hair still in that same style as when they were children. His attire, however, had changed drastically; the black Armani suit he was wearing made him look intense. Benny's hair looked like a curly mop atop his head, and his well worn leather jacket further deepened his sleazy look.

"There's no need to be so hostile, Maloof. We're both businessman here."

Maloof rolled his eyes. "I hate to say this to you, Benny, but my cell phone costs more in a month than you make in a year."

Benny didn't seem daunted by this. Instead, he switched the subject. "Heard you're getting married. Miracles do happen, eh?"

Maloof smiled in spite of himself. "Yeah, well, she is like my own little miracle, Benny. I can only hope you'll be so lucky." He looked Benny up and down. "Then again, for the sake of the female population, maybe I shouldn't wish that."

"Maloof, you need to lighten up a little!" Benny sighed. "Sheesh, here I am trying to congratulate you on finding an awesome girl, and you're acting like I'm dirt. That's so Bobby-ish I'm havin' a flashback."

Maloof paused. The waitress came by and handed them menus. Benny was staring with unnecessary interest at his napkin. When he glanced up, Maloof's expression had softened considerably.

"That was kind of uncalled for. Sorry, Benny."

"Eh, it didn't mean anything!" Benny said dismissively, waving a hand. "It's probably just some weird manifestation of pre-wedding jitters. How you holdin' up?"

"I'm alive."

Benny nodded, then paused, propping an elbow on the table and leaning forward. His voice was low. "T-To tell ya the truth, Maloof, I want your advice on something… Something romantic."

Maloof quirked an eyebrow at this, and, once the two had ordered their coffee and it was brought to them with lightning speed, he leaned across the table with one-track-mind focus. Benny was kind of a friend. And romance was something where the more advice a person had, the better. He gave Benny's words his full attention.

"See, Maloof, I'm bi, and there's this guy I like, but he's straight and…" Benny trailed off to stare into his coffee. "I don't think he'd look my way even if he was gay. We're from totally different planets. I know there's no way I stop loving him, but is there any way I can ask him about, y'know, whether or not he's straight?"

Maloof sat back, looking thoughtful. "That's an extremely delicate topic for some guys, Benny. It depends on your timing, for the most part."

Benny blinked. "What the hell does that mean?"

Maloof had been expecting that response, and did not miss a beat. He'd given a lot of advice over the years (some of it unwanted). He knew how to say this so that even Benny of all people could understand. Absently he brushed his hair back into its softly curled, flipped out at the sides helmet that he'd grown so fond of.

"You have to make sure it's pretty casual. Don't make it sound like a big deal. Wait til you guys are hanging out, goofing around, and ask a couple of questions before you drop the big one. If he's not, then laugh it off. If you ask 'are you gay' seriously, most men will freak out on you. It's best to say it kind of like you're asking what time it is."

Benny paused. Then he asked, "I get what you're saying, but what's wrong with just saying 'are you gay'?"

Maloof placed a hand on his temple and sighed. Schooling Benny in love – or anything else, for that matter – was harder than it sounded, and it already sounded hard. After a moment in which he collected his thoughts, he managed a response.

"Because it's rude, Benny. Some guys take offense with that sort of thing."

Benny rolled his eyes. "If I asked you if you were gay, would you take offense?"

"No, because I'm pretty sure I'm straight at this point," Maloof replied idly. "But not all guys are that sure about it."

"How sure are you?" Benny asked slyly.

Maloof blinked.

There was a smile creeping unto Benny's features and a look in his eyes Maloof didn't trust at all. They sipped their coffee for a few minutes in quiet while Benny let the question hang in the air, unanswerable and tempting fate. Maloof couldn't meet his eyes.

Finally he did, and his cheeks turned an unhealthy shade of orange at the way Benny's tongue was slowly curling around the coffee cup's rim. He watched, transfixed, as Benny's tongue swirled around a marshmallow and brought it inside that tiny, purple mouth. His eyes seemed to widen then narrow as he let his attention zone in on the sight with aforementioned one-track-mind focus. He wanted to look away from that sinfully sexy uncombed hair and those perfectly demonic, pointed teeth that lay at the sides of Benny's mouth.

"Are you gay?" Benny asked quietly.

Maloof had never been so grateful no one else there spoke fluent English as he stammered, unable to answer. I thought I wasn't…

"You know, if you're having problems figuring it out, I can always help," Benny leaned forward, his hand sliding over Maloof's.

In spite of himself, Maloof replied, "I'd like that, thanks."