Chapter 38 - Falling Farther In

When I woke up, at an undefinable hour of the night, it was a bit of a trauma.

Not because something bad happened, no way, those days were over (for a while), but because the way was waken up.

In the middle of the night, I suddenly heard a loud noise that woke me up with a start. I jerked awake, groaning my disappointment. "What the hell..."

The sudden movement woke Padmè too and she turned around to face me. "What?" she asked, her voice still muffled by sleep.

Then the noise repeated. The loud bang echoed in the room, and she smiled, burying her face in the pillow. "I knew this day would come, one day or another." she whispered, realizing what was going on the other side of the wall. The wickedness of her grin made me realize it too. And I sighed.

"Were we this loud last year?"

"Don't know. No one ever complained about it. Only Obi-Wan about the other day, but Luke and Leia never said anything about the noise."

"Yeah, I'm kinda good at making you shut up when you need it!"

She playfully slapped my cheek, as if scolding me for being inappropriate. "Shut it, idiot. You can be loud when you want to. Better, when I want you to be!"

"Don't even mention it!" another bang. This time louder. "Damn! At this rate they're gonna have another kid in a month or two!"

"They're catching up. As we did." she paused for a moment. "Still doing actually. But you're right. At this rate, with this kind of commitment, Hilean will get a sibling in less than a year."

On the other side, someone screamed. By the high pitched tone, we both guessed it was Aleha's work. Padmè and I burst in laughs, barely containing ourselves. "Make it a few months..." I gasped between fits of laughter. "Who knows how long they've been fucking!"

"I didn't really think Aleha was a screamer too." she stated, quite matter-of-factly. "I thought she was a little more quiet, you know..."

"You've got a rival for the title. And let me tell you that when I met you I never imagined you could be so loud, I mean... you were so uptight and engrossed with your role, no one could have ever guessed you're so wild, in reality."

"And no one outside of this room will ever need to find out. But now that you mention it... last night you promised something: are you up for round two?" she asked, half hiding behind the bedsheets, as if she felt ashamed of her request.

"You don't even have to ask..."

Needless to say, this time I didn't even care about making her shut up when needed.

And when, later in the morning, we met Aleha and Jax on their way to the room where the kids were still sleeping, I saw Aleha blushing. I nudged her with my elbow. "Had fun last night?"

Blushing even more, she lowered her eyes. "Sorry if we woke you."

"No need to worry. Just an advice: move the bed a couple of inches away from the wall. Not that we mind, but I guess you're planning to have Hilean sleeping in your apartment with you. No need to be heard by her too."

"We'll try... but really... I'm sorry. I don't know what happened yesterday."

"It's called sexual frustration. You've been piling it up for six years and you need to get rid of it. It will take some time." I told her, knowing all too well what they were going through.

She made a strange face, as if she wasn't really convinced. "How long did it take for you and Padmè?"

I shook my head. "We're still working on it."

The smirk that deformed her face was simply epic. "Oh great. What now?"

"Just fuck as much as you want. The only advice I can give you at this point is to not get caught by your daughter. It almost happened for us and I swear, it was so awkward I wanted to die and we weren't even naked. As for the rest... don't let anyone tell you what you have to do. And don't hold back just because you fear what people may think."

"Personal experience?" she asked.

I nodded. "Personal experience. Last year we tried to put a hold on ourselves but it didn't really work well. After a couple of weeks we were almost exploding! Just have fun. And whoever has anything stupid to say about that can go and fuck himself in outer space. OK?"

"I'll keep that in mind. By the way, totally off topic but how's your shoulder?"

"Hurts a little, but it's not bad. I really hope they won't have to work too much on it to fix it because I really want to get the kids' asses out of the base and off to Naboo for a while and I really can't do it with my shoulder still on hold."

"Everything will be alright, don't worry. But you really can't come home from an adventure in one piece, can you?"

"Apparently no. But I don't mind. It means that I did it!"

"In your own fucked-up world, maybe. In mine, it only means that you acted without thinking."

"Well, at least this time it wasn't my fault. Not entirely at least. But let's not talk about this stuff now. We've got twenty two kids to wake, dress, feed and train. And I have a surgeon waiting for me."

That morning went by so fast that I nearly missed my appointment.

Even if they had been quite a handful the night before, all the kids behaved perfectly that morning. As we helped the youngest ones getting dressed, the others did that by themselves, and even during breakfast they were simply perfect, helping each other like siblings.

They were nearly impeccable even during their morning exercise routine.

Time literally flew by and I only noticed it was almost time for my pre-op check up about five minutes before the given time. Without saying a word I burst out of the room and ran to the stairwell, dashing upstairs and not really caring if I ran over someone. I arrived at the infirmary in record time, completely out of breath and definitely sweaty.

Both Janu and Dr. Koros shook their heads when they saw me split in two by the short but exhausting run, as I tried to catch my breath. "Sorry..." I panted. "I almost forgot..."

"There was no need to run like that." replied Dr. Koros. "We heard you from the end of the hallway, even if you were five minutes late there was no need to run."

"My wife would have killed me if I arrived late. I wonder where she is though..." I said standing up. Janu gestured to come closer. "She said she would come too!"

"She called a while ago. Antilles' keeping her for administrative reasons. She'll come if she manages to disengage herself. Come now, let's get over with it."

Another run of more in-depth tests established the degree of the injury, apparently the worst SLAP tear Dr. Koros had ever seen in her career, and then I was ready to go, with a long list of instructions to respect for the surgery next morning. Lots of sleep, no further straining of the shoulder, not eating or drinking after midnight and an appointment for eight o'clock next morning. And those were only the first three lines.

Oh well, nothing I couldn't abide. It was only for a night, even if I was forced to go to sleep almost before the kids to go by the indications. But considering it was the last night in a long while that I could spend sleeping in the friggin' position I wanted, I enjoyed every minute of it, sprawled on the bed not even caring much about how much space I occupied. And considering how painful and uncomfortable the following month would be, yeah, that was the best way I could spend the night.

Next morning, after a quick shower and no breakfast, even if my mouth was watering with hunger, Padmè and I went upstairs to the infirmary, which during the past year it had become a real hospital with everything needed, and I was instantly admitted. I forced Padmè to go away and not wait out there all alone, considering how much she hated hospitals, then I let the medical staff take care of me. This time I reminded them how fast I adsorb and metabolize drugs so they could adjust the anesthesia and I wouldn't wake up, like I almost had the year before.

I was already on the table, with tubes and needles everywhere except my left arm, when Janu, dressed in scrubs, a mask on his face and gloved hands, walked up to me. "Hey Kid, how ya doin'?"

"Not too bad. Ready to be sliced open. I'm just a little worried for the convalescence. That's all. You already know what you'll do?"

He shook his head. "No. We'll see after we'll open. The procedure is not too different from the reconstructive process we've applied to your leg last year, we need to find the tear in the ligaments and the tendons, place the regenerating device and stabilize the whole thing, then close. But you never know what you will find in these cases. Don't worry though. It shouldn't take more than three hours to finish. Tops. Then we'll leave you under sedation for another couple of hours to allow the regenerator to start working and let you wake up on your own. Nothing different from last year. You might experience more soreness and discomfort though than last time. You ready?"

I nodded and I noticed the anesthesist approaching with an oxygen mask and a long syringe filled with a thick white liquid. "Yes, ready."

"Good. Sleep tight Kid, we're fixing you up!"

That's the last thing I remember. When I woke up, apparently seven hours later, everything was numb and confused. I was lying on the hospital bed, my left shoulder encased in a very tight bandage that prevented any kind of movement and locked into position with a special sling that circled my torso and went behind the back of my neck. It took me a while to realize everything of this, but when finally I managed to overcome the side effects of a very strong anaesthesia, I noticed that I wasn't alone in the room. The silent but always reassuring presence of Obi-Wan instantly made me feel a little better, since I was a little nauseated in addition of the expected soreness.

"Hello there!" he said once I noticed him. "How do you feel?"

"Groggy. Sore. Slightly nauseated. Could be worse. How did it go?" I asked, surprised by my clear voice.

"Apparently, it was a complete success. They told me you're incredibly lucky that you managed to fight with that shoulder in those conditions, but they mended it and it will be perfectly fine. Now it's up to you to take care of it with the due physical therapy."

"I know the drill, this time I'll be more careful about it. I'm surprised they didn't order a bacta bath!"

"There's no full immersion tank here. You're lucky, but the healing process cannot be sped up this way."

"Believe me, I prefer the natural healing process to the bacta. I'm all for tissue regenerators, but I hate bacta!" I sighed. "Where's Padmè?"

"Right outside the room, talking to Janu about your needs for the immediate future. And I think scheduling your follow up next month."

"Did they say how long I'll have to stay here?"

In that moment, the door opened and Padmè, Janu and Dr. Koros entered. "I think you can ask them." said Obi-Wan.

"Ask what?" repeated Janu. His deep, thundering voice echoed in the small room, and it made it seem even deeper.

"How long I'll have to stay here."

"Four days, just to rule out the chance of infection and everything. Then you're good to go home. We'll have to check on you a couple of times before we can give you thumbs up for the physical therapy, but we're sure you'll be able to reprise your normal life in no more than three months."

I let out a deep sigh and leaned back on the thick pillows, relaxing the already straining muscles of my neck. "Alright. Padmè, we have a date. We're getting married in four months."

And so we did.

Three months and a week later Janu gave me the green light to start physical therapy. That meant reduced hours wearing the sling, first awkward movements and some more freedom. I was finally self-sufficient again, totally able to take care of myself and even of my children. When I was on forced bed rest, considering the pain from the surgery and the tight bandages, I was completely incapable of doing much more than eat by myself. I had to ask for help every time I had to pay a visit to the bathroom because I couldn't get up by myself and even taking care of my basic needs was a very tiring process. As days passed though, the pain slowly fade away and I was given a short range of movement that allowed me at least to button up my pants. Not my shoes, but at least I could put on and off my pants. That was the first real improvement that came with time.

It hurt like a bitch, but when I finally started the physical therapy, all the efforts I had made enduring the pain were paid back with a nearly perfect shoulder.

I definitely felt better and after three weeks of exercises to rebuild the muscles and get back into shape, we organized the famous trip to Naboo, and finally the kids could see the sun.

At first, when we arrived, they were absolutely impossible to control. They were over stimulated, tired because of the trip and ecstatic because they were, for the first time in over a year, outside the base, free to behave like children. When they saw the lake and the small private beach, well, all our efforts to control them simply blew up like a bomb. They were just too many and too happy. We had to threaten them to not teach them how to swim to get them back in their ranks and get them to take their stuff in their rooms, which had been promptly prepared by Padmè's family, and down for their afternoon nap.

A couple of hours later, once rested and fed, they were much more inclined to listen to us adults and we attempted to take them down to the gardens. Padmè and I were forced to stay out of the games for obvious reasons, but it was an amazing show to watch them just being themselves. Being kids acting like kids.

But most of all it was absolutely wonderful watching Jax getting used to his new role. Once he had accepted the fact that the Rebel Alliance could indeed protect him and that he could finally give up his old life made of constant running away from anyone and everything, he settled pretty quick into a new routine made of teaching what he had learned with the years, passing his incredible ability in escapology to all the children that one day would be part of an active army fighting for freedom.

And of course he quickly learned how to be a father and a partner. Watching him interact with his daughter felt like watching a movie of the first few months of the year before. Specially one afternoon after a couple of days since our arrival. Most of the children where down for their nap. I was reading a couple of reports from the weapon research department of the base, one of the newly acquired perks of being Anakin Skywalker again, sitting in the wide veranda while doing some mild exercises for the shoulder when one of the doors opened and Jax came out of the huge house, carrying Hilean in his arms. Completely oblivious of my presence he took her to the decorated wall that circled the space and faced the lake. Once there, he set his daughter so she was sitting facing the water.

"Here we are." he said. "What do you want to do?"

"Can we stay here for a moment? Just you and me for a while?" she asked. I could barely hear her voice from my position, and I wish I didn't hear them at all, just to give them some privacy. Those were precious moments, I knew it all too well, and I didn't want to intrude.

"Of course we can sweetie." he took his time to admire the view in front of him. "It's amazing here." he said after some silent seconds.

She nodded against his chest. "It really is. Luke and Leia had told me it was really great, but I didn't believe them. I thought there could not be such a beautiful place anywhere."

"Hilean, you grew up in an underground base, you haven't seen the world, of course you couldn't believe them."

"I've been to Yavin IV a couple of times. And last year I came here on Naboo with mom and Senator Organa for Luke and Leia's birthday. You travelled a lot dad, what's the best place you've ever been to?"

"Oh let me think... that's a very hard question because I travelled a lot, that's true, but before the Empire I travelled mostly to battlefields. I went there with my Master, fought some battle droids and went back to the Jedi Temple or to the next battle. We didn't have much time for sightseeing. And after the Empire I was always on the run. But you know, if you like flowers and huge plants, Felucia is really a great place. I've one of the best dawns I've ever witnessed to there. But I have to admit that this place has something magical. It's... I don't know. It feels like home, even if I never had a real home."

"You had the Jedi Temple!"

"Yeah, I know, but... home is the place to go to feel better, to feel safe and protected. The Jedi Temple is cold, distant. One day I'll show you, that place is an amazing building, a masterpiece, really, but in the end it's just the place you go to sleep, you train and work to become a Jedi. Home is something different. To me, home is where you and your mother are. That's home to me. It can be here, or on Corellia or back at the base. As long as you're with me, that's home to me."

At first she seemed unconvinced, then, after a moment of deep thinking, she nodded and sank back against his chest, snuggling closer to him. He held her tightly against him and I felt a wave of deep happiness flow through the Force, radiating from them to the rest of the area. It was an amazing feeling, and I knew that Jax was just falling farther in love with his daughter with each day. Not only he was learning how to be a father, slowly and gradually, but Hilean was teaching him how to be a better man. He aknowledged it, some years later, when Hilean was already sixteen and his brother was eleven. If we hadn't come to rescue him, thirteen years earlier, he would have become one of the many gifted people out there who just sit around and hide, not even living their life because of fear.

I put the datapad down and rose from the chair, then silently headed back inside the house. I didn't want to intrude in their father-daughter moment. I knew all too well the feeling. Right inside the glass doors I found Padmè. It was like she was waiting for me. I took a deep breath and smiled. She was just...

I can't really describe her.

She was basking in the mid-afternoon light, the half grin she was wearing made her even more beautiful. It was now undeniable that she was pregnant even if someone didn't know, at five months now she clearly showed the sings, and she showed them proudly, with tight-fitting clothes, not like with the twins, when she had to hide it. It was like she was taking a little satisfaction this time, a little revenge on the old times when her position didn't allow to be who she really was.

"I thought you were upstairs." I said.

"I missed you and came down to look for you. Seems like I found where you were hiding!"

"I wasn't hiding. I received a report this morning and I was taking some time to read it while I was doing my excercises. I want to be able to stand up straight tomorrow."

"Which leads me to the real motive I was looking for you. Organa called, he said he will be here by mid-morning, so we can deal with the thing right before lunch. And considering how my mother and sister are working in the kitchen, it will be a real wedding banquet, with all the right stuff."

I leaned down and kissed her. "I don't really think anyone will complain about it. Most of all Obi-Wan, you know how much he loves your mom's dishes."

She made a weird face. "I know all too well. I think he gained some weight when we staid on Naboo right after the twins were born. He had to fight to put it off!"

"I can imagine! When I got out of prison, she cooked so much that I gained back my weight in two weeks! By the way, how's the baby?"

"It's fine. We're both fine. It was a little fussy this morning."

"Hiccup again? Wow, he's not even born and he's already a problem!"

"She's not a problem. And the twins used to have hiccups every day when I was pregnant with them!" she took my hand and guided me inside. "Don't worry, it's not like she's big enough to cause a problem at the moment. And if she'll continue with daily hiccups as months progress, well, I'll have some nasty heartburns. No need to worry about it!"

"Well, I really hope he won't cause troubles!"

In that moment, Leia came down the stairs rubbing her eyes. "Dad, still with that thing about the sex of the baby? It's a girl!" she snapped, clearly disturbed by something upstairs. "And before you ask me how I do know that, I tell you, it's a girl, I can feel it. We're having a little sister. Mom, can you look at my right eye please?"

Promptly, she led our daughter to the closest source of light and knelt in front of her. "Oh gods Leia! What did you do to your eye?"

"It itches! Do I have conjunctivits again?"

Padmè sighed. "I think you do. At least I packed your medicine. When did it start hurting?" she asked.

"It started itching after lunch, I went in my room to study a little and it got worse. I think it's because I rub my eyes often."

"I told you, you have to stop with that habit. Your eyes will never stop getting sick if you go on like that!" she sounded almost exasperated, but in reality she was only worried.

Silently, I went upstairs and fetched a new bottle of eyedrops for Leia. Oh well... family life.

Next day was everything but a quiet one. I woke up an hour before Padmè, did my morning routine of excercises, both Jedi training and physical therapy for the shoulder, and when I came back, Jobal and Sola were running all over the place trying to have it prepared for the arrival of a Senator. They just didn't listen to me when I told them that Senator Organa would stay only for the day, that he didn't need a spare bedroom ready for him and everything. Every single word I said fell to deaf ears, and when the time of the "ceremony", as they both called it even if it was only a matter of signing a form in front of him, came, well, they were hysterics, much more than Padmè and I were.

Not that we had reasons to be hysteric, in the end, we had already gone through all that stuff.

Actually, if there was someone who had the right to be very nervous, well, it was Jax and Aleha. Maybe I forgot to tell you, but right after I acquired mobility to my left hand, Jax asked me to make an engagement ring for her. I did pretty much the same stuff I did then night I designed Padmè's, only this time he got to choose between the different drawings, then he made it himself with my supervision. Then he asked her to marry him, and she accepted. They were going to sign the form too, and one day they'd get the whole ceremony like we did twelve years before, but for now, they had enough of making it official to the eyes of the Rebel Alliance. More than enough to suit their needs.

When Organa arrived and saw all the bustling activity at the house, he smiled to himself. But the best thing happened when he saw Padmè. "Hey, how's the bride to be?" then he saw her very pregnant form and stopped in his tracks. "Oh... wow... I see you're..."

"Yes, I'm pregnant. No, we're not getting married because he knocked me up and, yes, I'm fine. And I'm glad you're here. How are things in the Empire?"

"Pure shit, and excuse the word. Things to not look good, we've got massive issues and the whole new procedures don't help us fixing them. But at least today we can fix your problem, also I've had a nice chat with Antilles. He was one of my team, and I'm not totally pleased by his behavior. He won't bother you again."

"Thank you Bail, we've got a very big part of the Alliance growing up here, and they need some resources."

"Looks like you're actually building a whole new Jedi Order one child at a time! How far along are you?"

She smiled, blushing a little bit. "Five months."

"You already know the sex?"

"Nope." I said, interrupting them. "But Leia thinks it's a girl. We've decided to wait, that's all."

"Call me when it's born then. I'll come as soon as I can. Now... who's got a pen?"

It didn't take longer than that. Four signatures, double copy, and we were officially married, at least at the eyes of the Alliance. Exactly what we needed. No more.

It was enough. For now.

But we all knew that the best was yet to come.

Alright, nice little filler here. I needed to cover the time lapse someway, give some credit to the whole getting married again thing and kick Antilles' ass some more. I knew it took a long, long time. Long even for my tastes. The thing is... well, my mom died last week. In the end all the cures failed, her liver stopped working and six days ago she passed away. At least it was quick and I think painless, considering the amount of morphine she was given.

Anyway... I'm fine. I'm incredibly fine. I feel better than I have in along, long time, way before the whole cancer thing started. It's just that... I didn't have much time to write in the past month. Now I'll move back with dad at the old house, the one I left when my parents divorced, and the whole moving thing will take sometime. Don't expect such a juicy chapter like next one to come so easily, it's gonna be a tough one. There's a Skywalker that needs to be presented and I'll try to do it with all the honours.

By the way, I have to inform that this chapter was written once then cancelled an dre-written while I was doing one of my famous movie marathons. It started with The Rocky Horror Picture Show, freshly purchased the Bluray Edition and I can tell you... it's amazing. Then I twas time for Moulin Rouge!, just because you know, some more music can't hurt. And then The Avengers for the laughs. That's it! Have fun guys and wait for the big one! It's coming! Love ya!