Dayenu
CJ/Danny, CJ/OMC, Danny/OFC; alternative universe, total fantasy (or is it?)
Rating Adult – adult issues and activity and such and such
Spoilers through end of series; possible spoilers for "Holding Hands on the Way Down"
Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul
Feedback and criticism always welcomed
Author note:
I was privileged, during the years of my marriage, to be included in several Passover Seders with my then in-laws and my then-husband's extended family. Although we are divorced, I will always treasure the way they accepted this Irish Catholic lass into their hearts. And I will always remember joining in on the chorus of "Dayenu".
November 16, 2018; Kensington, CA; 10:45 PM PST
If Paul Reeves were the kind of man to break out in song, he told himself, or at least a hum, that is what he would be doing right now. Instead, he walked through the house, checking doors and turning off lamps, with an anticipatory lightness in his step.
Paul opened Pat's door and glanced into the boy's bedroom. Moonlight lit up Pat's face and Paul noticed again that as Pat grew into his mother's height, he was also losing the soft features of his mother's face. The coloring and the bone structure was still there, but Pat was starting to resemble his uncles more than CJ.
Pat sighed and turned over, away from the window. The action woke Hershey, and the chocolate lab stirred and lifted his head from its place at Pat's feet. The dog wagged his tail when he caught sight of Paul; then he moved up and stretched out against Pat, the two of them back to back on the bottom bunk.
"We used to do that, too, didn't we, boy?" Danny said to Pistol as the two of them sat on a cloud in the sunlight. Then Danny reached over and rubbed the dog's ears.
Pistol remembered the times in Danny's bed. He had a feeling that Danny now did that with Alicia. Oh, well, Pistol had been sleeping with Cosmos and Damian ever since they got here, ten earth-years (and seventy earth-dog-years) ago. Pistol was glad that Mariah talked Them into letting him be with the twins, instead of just waiting at the Bridge for Danny to come.
Paul's next stop was the girls' room. Dansha was sprawled out on her stomach, the covers down at her knees, and Paul slipped into the room to pull the sheet and blanket up to his youngest daughter's shoulders. Caitlin, on the other hand, was on her side, the quilt up to her nose, with just her bright red hair spread out over the pillow. Paul resisted the urge to move the covers down to Caitlin's neck, knowing that it was a waste of time.
Leaving the girls, Paul turned to the master bedroom, his body already hardening in anticipation.
It had been ten days since he had shared a bed with his wife; eleven days since they had joined in physical intimacy.
CJ and Paul had gone up to Sacramento, along with Josh, Donna, and just about everyone else from CJ's days with the Bartlet administration, to celebrate as Samuel Norman Seaborn had been chosen by the American electorate to replace Jeff Haffley as president of the United States.
The election was really no contest, with the major networks waiting only until the polls had closed in all fifty states before announcing the obvious. The announcements came by 8:15 Pacific, but by the time all the phone calls from world leaders, fellow Democrats, and the defeated candidate had taken place, it was almost 10:45 before Sam addressed the nation from the hotel ballroom, and midnight before the private celebration could begin. And it was almost 3:30 when Paul and CJ stumbled into their room.
CJ stayed in Sacramento the day after the election, mainly to once again reiterate that as much as she loved Sam, she would not be moving to DC as a senior advisor, but Paul had to get back to Berkeley and his classes at the Pacific School of Religion. Then Paul played single dad while CJ spent six days representing the University at an international conference in Madrid, followed by a meeting with the Hollis Foundation in Geneva. But now, she was coming home, in time for the birthday she shared with Caitlin. November was a special month for them, two birthdays, their wedding anniversary (five joyful years).
And that first time, so many years ago.
Paul remembered lying there between her legs, his arousal throbbing almost painfully against the confines of the condom. Braced on his forearms, he had stroked her hair and looked down into her face.
He remembered seeing the love which neither of them had yet admitted to each other. He saw the relaxed contentment from the orgasm he had given her a few minutes ago, the first one she had ever experienced from fingers other than her own.
He also saw the little bit of trepidation about what was about to happen. Earlier in the week, Paul had planned to take this first time much slower, in spite of how CJ had answered the Band-Aid question. He knew that his size, particularly his thickness, could be an issue, and he knew that because of the toxic shock syndrome scare, CJ had never used a tampon.
So Paul had planned to use his fingers, one at a time, to gently stretch any restricting membrane. There was no need for hurry; he had all night. But then CJ told him she wanted to "get past all this anxiety" and he changed his plans.
As he lay there, asking her one more time if she was sure, and hoping that if her answer was no, he and his aching genitalia would be able to push away, Paul had realized with youthful certainty, that she was the one, that his would continue to be the only fingers to drive her to ecstasy, his the seed to give her children, and that when death came for one of them, he would be the one either holding or being held as one of them took a final breath.
And so he had approached this Friday night with the same joy as he had that one in the early 80's. This afternoon, Paul picked up the kids after school, made some popcorn, and, starting a video, told the kids to be good. Paul showered, shaved a second time. He pulled on the new silk boxers he had bought Wednesday afternoon. Finally, after getting a phone call from Sarita Hollis, he piled the kids into the SUV and drove to Oakland International.
On the way home, CJ sat in the back with the kids, but husband and wife managed to exchange wordless glances when Paul caught her eyes in the rear-view mirror.
Now, with the kids asleep and the house secured for the night, it was finally their time, and Paul opened the bedroom door.
To the sight and sound of a sleeping, lightly snoring wife.
The bronze nightgown with delicate ribbon straps indicated that CJ had not intended to fall asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow, but there she was, for all purposes dead to the world.
Paul sighed to himself as he quietly slipped out of his shirt, slacks, and shoes. She had crossed eight time zones today, he told himself, as he carefully got into bed, wanting to hold her close but not rouse her. Paul knew that if he were to wake her, she would insist on taking care of the all too apparent arousal in his underwear, and that his desire was such that his body would respond to her hands and her mouth even as his voice told her that he could wait for her to be rested enough to fully enjoy the act.
As he carefully pulled CJ into his arms in a loose embrace, Paul remembered that tonight he had intended to make love to her gently, tenderly, carefully. He had intended to make love to her the way he did on that other November Friday so many years ago, six days after she had shyly told him she was "ready" to move their relationship to the next step. Now, he would spend the night gently, tenderly, and carefully holding her and he knew that, for now, it would be enough.
Dayenu.
Unbidden, the Hebrew word popped into his head. Ten days ago, in Sacramento, a very inebriated Toby and an even more inebriated Josh were talking about how many wonderful things had happened that election day.
Sam had taken the standard Democratic strongholds, of course. He had run the "Blue State" table. But Sam had also taken Texas, Oklahoma, Georgia, both Carolinas, and Virginia as well.
The biggest surprise, however, was almost taking Washington, Haffley's home state. The final tally could very well be within the parameters for an automatic recount, although no one wanted the Democrats to raise the issue.
"As Leo was so fond of saying, we don't strut," Toby said. "To have come this close, it would have been enough."
At which point, Josh started singing.
"Da - da - ye – nu. Da - da- ye- nu. Da - da - ye – nu. Dayenu, dayenu, dayenu."
Seeing Paul's puzzled look, Toby explained that Josh was singing the chorus of something sung during a Passover Seder, a song that accounts fifteen miraculous things God had done for the Jewish people, that God had done much, much more than was needed. "Basically, if He had only done such and such, it would have been enough," Toby said. "That's what the word means."
Paul was well aware of the song and of its meaning; his puzzlement came from hearing it sung in a situation that was not religious and at a time that was not in the Passover period. From what he had been given to understand, it would be like hearing "Jesus Christ is Risen Today" during the World Series. However, he was too polite to mention it; Paul merely nodded his head at the explanation.
He was grateful, Paul told himself, that CJ was home, safe in his arms. It was enough.
Besides, he told himself as his erection dissipated and he yawned in sleepiness, there was always tomorrow morning. At nine, Pat could be trusted to pour juice, milk, and cereal for himself and his little sisters. He could even heat up sweet rolls in the microwave. CJ didn't want him using the toaster or the stove yet, nor did she want him even heating up milk or water in the microwave, but at least the kids could manage for themselves in the early hours of Saturday morning, watching children's programming. Paul and CJ told Pat that he was in charge, but that he should not interpret that to mean that he could run roughshod over the girls. And it went without saying that they were to open the doors to no one, and to wake their parents at the slightest emergency. Later, Paul or CJ would cook a relaxed big breakfast for the family (unless a sporting event was scheduled for the morning).
November 21
Paul looked up as CJ dropped two air mattresses on the floor of Pat's room.
"So, we build two guest rooms and we still need makeshift sleeping arrangements," CJ laughed.
"But it will be fun, sweetheart," Paul replied, reaching for the air compressor. "And Gina did assure you that there would be plenty of room at the winery."
In addition to Derrick and Natasha, the Reeves family was expecting the six Lyman's for the extended holiday weekend and beyond. Josh and Donna had kept up the custom started in 2006, taking a vacation after the election and before the start of the next administration. This year, Donna asked if the family could visit "if I promise to keep Josh from bugging you about coming east for Sam". CJ said yes, then called Randy and Gina to beg off from going up to Napa this year. But Gina told her that there would easily be plenty of room for six more people. She would be short two sons and daughters-in-law this year; Tony, Lisa, Dario, and Hayley were taking a cruise to Mazatlan.
"They're here!" Caitlin ran into Pat's room, then ran back to the front door.
Paul and CJ followed close behind and were outside just as Natasha got out from behind the wheel and reached for Derrick's crutches.
Derrick was recovering quite nicely and was able to put weight on the left leg, where the break had been in his thigh. However, the tibia/fibula break on the other leg was still not able to take his weight, hence the crutches. Hopefully, he would graduate to a cane just after Christmas. At least, he no longer needed a wheel chair. Tasha had wanted him to keep it, at least for times that might normally require a lot of walking, but Derrick said that he needed to maintain his upper body strength and insisted on returning it to the medical equipment rental company.
After an exchange of hugs and questions about the drive, Paul took the keys from Natasha and got the luggage from the trunk. Then it was time for him to run to Oakland International to pick up Donna, Josh, Noah, and the triplets.
Over cokes, chips, and onion dip, CJ explained that Pat was at a birthday party; Amy Marshall would be bringing him home, probably by 4:00. The plan was to have a quiet, early night, and to be on the road to Napa by 7:30 in the morning. The family was scheduled for a Thanksgiving Day Mass at 9:30. Because the Lyman's would be spending the next week at Albion, there would be a convoy of three cars going up to St. Helena – the SUV, CJ's Camry, and Tasha's Accord.
After supper, CJ shooed Paul, Josh, and Derrick to the family room, telling them to watch over the kids.
"Are you sure you don't want me to help?" Derrick asked. "Since Tasha wimped out on you? I guess the drive wore her out."
Natasha had literally fallen asleep over dessert.
"No. We're fine. Go. I want to dish with my girlfriend," CJ laughed.
Donna loaded the dishwasher as CJ put away the leftovers.
"So. Deputy Secretary of State."
"Yeah," Donna said. "I'm as surprised as you are. I knew that Morgan would be bringing a lot of her old staff from Sacramento, and I knew Nancy wanted me in the department, but I was thinking along the lines of Assistant Secretary to one of the Unders, maybe Public Diplomacy."
"But instead, she wants you for second-in-command. And, Donna, I'm not really surprised. I mean, at first, but after two seconds, I realized, and I'm sure everyone else did, that you are more than capable of handling the job. I am so proud of you. You've come a long way since that day in New Hampshire when you bluffed your way onto Josh's staff."
"She'll do great," Helen Santos told Abbey Bartlet. "She ran my office like a pro. I was lucky to grab her away from Matt before Josh gave her over to Lou Thornton, and I was lucky to have her for as long as I did."
"I know. Donna was one of the women that Jed and the guys under-utilized for way too long. I'm glad that she and Margaret, especially, were able to break out and away when your husband took over."
"A lot of us have, CJ. Sam is trying to bring Margaret back, for the Oval, combining what Debbie and Mrs. L did with office administration. I want Carol for my senior administrative aide, 'Deputy Deputy Secretary of State', as it were. We just need to make sure that we can find a place for David's talents and years of experience that isn't too close. Look what Bonnie and Nancy are doing for Frank Hollis. And then there's you. I expect that before it's all over, you'll be heading up Berkeley."
"Oh, I don't know about that, Donna," CJ laughed.
Donna just smiled. The thing is, CJ my dear, I do.
"And me. I know too."
CJ thought she felt the brush of lips against hers.
November 22 (Thanksgiving Day)
"All aboard and wagons ho!" Paul shouted.
Donna yawned as she climbed into the front passenger seat of the SUV while Pat, Noah, Leo, Micah, and Hershey scrambled into the back rows. Pat had wanted to drive up with Derrick and Natasha, but Paul told him that it would be more polite for him to be with his guests.
CJ was driving the Camry with Josh and the three girls. Josh whispered something to Joannie and she volunteered to sit in the middle "because I'm the oldest".
Natasha and Derrick had left fifteen minutes ago. They were picking up Keith down the hill at the Jesuit School of Theology.
The trip was easy and by 8:45, they had arrived at the winery. Pat, Noah, Sam, and Micah were excited about sleeping in what had been Lorenzo and Dario's "bachelor quarters" up in the attic. It reminded them of their summers at Cape May, with all the other boys from the "Grandpa Jed" reunions. Randy put Derrick and Natasha's things in the first floor guest room and then led Josh and Paul to the rooms the two couples would be using; he also carried the girls' backpacks to the room with the king-sized bed that the three of them would share.
While waiting for the others, Gina led CJ, Donna, Natasha, and Derrick to the big kitchen where the smells of southern Italian cuisine mingled with those of New England turkey dinner.
CJ looked around. "Where's Sophia? And your mom?"
"On the way. Their plane was stranded overnight in Dallas due to that big storm. They were in Tuscany, were supposed to get in last night. Rich and Chris are picking them up at SFO; they should be here by 11:00 at the latest, but we won't be holding Mass for them."
"Well, it smells as good as ever, Gina," CJ told her sister-in-law.
"I've got the hang of most of the recipes. But I'm sure that Aunt Sophia will find something to modify."
11:00 AM
"It's that way, Natasha," Gina said, then joined CJ and Donna in a light laugh as the youngest member of their quartet took off in the direction of Gina's finger.
"That was a nice service," Donna told the others as they walked toward the kitchen. "It was nice of you all to ask Josh to do the first reading, the one from Joel.
"It was nice," CJ agreed.
"And that second hymn, the one to the same tune as 'All Through the Night'; I just loved that one," Donna continued.
"The tune is called 'Ar Hyd y Nos'. It's an old Welsh tune," Gina told Donna. "There are several hymns and songs set to it."
The Mass had been joyous and festive, as befitting the holiday, but not overly burdened with a lot of rigid liturgy. When Josh mentioned that he did not mind coming with the group, Gina and her cousin asked if he would be comfortable doing the first reading; they had already asked Paul to read the one from Colossians. In addition to "For the Fruits of All Creation", they sang "Come Ye Faithful People, Come", "For the Beauty of the Earth", and "Now Thank We All Our God" ("A Lutheran hymn!" Derrick stage-whispered in mock horror to CJ.)
"She did well, your daughter. It just needs a little more fennel."
"Mom and Aunt Sophia are home," Gina told the others as they reached the kitchen.
The women exchanged hugs, chattering about the inconveniences suffered by Gina's mother Bianca and her aunt, the beauty of the late autumn day, and reintroducing Donna, who had been CJ's matron of honor five years ago, to the older ladies. Gina explained that the menfolk and the kids were taking a walk to the cellars to get the bottles for the meal later this afternoon.
The five of them were settled down at the kitchen table, with coffee and pastries, when Natasha came into the room.
CJ introduced her newest daughter to Bianca and Sophia. Sophia looked at Natasha, then stood up, made a strange gesture with her fingers, and led the young woman to a chair.
"What was tha-?"
"My grandmother Elisabetta taught me that!" Donna exclaimed at the same time CJ spoke. "It's a special symbol to ward off the evil spirits when a woman is-"
"Natasha, are you pregnant?" Gina blurted out almost simultaneously with the others.
"Who's pregnant?"
Pat was standing at the door to the kitchen, two bottles of brandy in his arms. The other kids, Derrick, Randy, Josh, and Paul were behind the youngsters.
Derrick set down the champagne he was carrying, walked over to the table, took hold of Natasha's hand, and kissed it.
"We are."
11:45 AM
Derrick walked out to the grape arbor where Paul was sitting. He noticed that his father was holding his Bible, but was staring at the vineyards on the hillside in the distance. As he drew closer, Derrick realized that Paul was singing the last verse of the new (to Derrick, at least) song from this morning's service.
"For the harvests of the Spirit,
thanks be to God.
For the good we all inherit,
thanks be to God.
For the wonders that astound us,
for the truths that still confound us,
most of all that love has found us,
thanks be to God."
"Dad? The game's about to begin."
Paul looked up and smiled at his son, then gestured to a place on the bench, and Derrick sat down.
"Derrick, I am just so happy for the two of you."
"We had planned to make the announcement at dinner. CJ said that we would all be asked to mention something for which we were grateful. Frankly, I'm surprised that no one caught on last night when Tasha didn't drink anything.
"Dad, I could see everyone's head doing the math when we told them mid-May. I want you to know that-"
"Derrick, you and Natasha don't owe anyone any explanations. In one very real sense, the two of you were a family when she said 'Yes' last Christmas."
"Things happen in God's time," Danny said, remembering those few minutes with Carol before he escorted her down the aisle where David, David's brother, and Paul were awaiting them.
"And this one surely did," Alicia answered. Then she took a swipe at Danny's butt. He had taken three pecans off the top of the "First Saturday in May" pie she had made for the feast later in the day.
"But it's part of the miracle, Dad. Remember, Natasha spent three weeks before the wedding in Phoenix while I had to stay in San Luis Obispo. Her period came the second week. And I spent those four nights with Pat, in the room adjoining yours. And then, the day after the wedding, that afternoon in Mexico-".
Paul eyes lit up with understanding.
"So you and Tasha conceived this child on your wedding night."
"Or the next morning," Derrick said, this time with a slight blush. "But I like to think -"
Paul reached over and clapped Derrick on his shoulder. At first, it was a pure primal reaction; a basic act of congratulation between two men. Then Paul remembered that there was, the last he heard, still some question about Derrick's fertility. Now, please God for a healthy pregnancy, there would be at least one more child of his and Alicia's gene pool.
"Derrick, I'm so glad for the two of you. I know that you were ready to adopt, to try AI, and you may have to do that if you want more kids, but I am just so glad that you will have at least this one child."
"Well, Dad, there will hopefully be more. It's not something to mention to everyone, especially not around the Thanksgiving table, but last week, the urologist did another test and apparently my guys have come back one hundred percent and raring to go. When we're ready for another – Tasha keeps saying as soon as the doctor gives her the go-ahead after this one, but I told her to wait and see how she feels six months from now, I remember Deborah with Joe and CJ with Dansha – anyway, we should be able to do it the old-fashioned way," Derrick laughed.
Paul buried mouth in his hands to keep his lips from trembling.
"You kept him and her alive, Lord, when the plane went down; it would have been enough.
"He's able to walk again, and it would have been enough.
"He can sustain an erection, to satisfy his wife and himself; it would have been enough.
"And now, there will be a child of their love. With Your blessing, several children.
"Dayenu."