Obligatory Kaiju Death Battle
All in all… I could have been in a worse situation… I could be in the 40K Warp… that's about all I can think of at the moment. I pushed Ki out of my palms with all my might, but all I managed to do was keep the orb from inching closer. Then Godzilla's dorsal spines bathed the world in luminescence. The Kamehameha all but dissipated as the Atomic beam began to spiral and shift to a red color.
Because I'm not a complete idiot.
'Debatable.'
I was expecting that Lazuli. So HA! Anyway because I wasn't a complete idiot, I focused on teleporting my happy ass out of the beams path by locking on to Superman. I reappeared next to him as Godzilla's beam kept on going and going. As the beam left out sight, Godzilla turned towards his original direction, and began to walk. Superman watched as the ground once again began to shake.
"I'd hate to ask this Cell… but are you responsible for a fictional monster coming to life?"
"I swear I did not directly cause this in any way shape or form."
True.
'Indirectly however...'
"I find it funny you use the word directly."
'Well, someones quick on the uptake.'
Shit he's onto me. Also Shut up Lazuli, I need to think... Got it.
"I can't rule out I am indirectly the cause by sheer virtue of being me."
Technically Correct.
'The best kind of correct!'
Thank you Lapis, that is very true. I'm buying you a Lamborghini.
'FUCK YEAH!'
Superman nodded.
"Fair enough I suppose."
"So what's the plan? Cause I don't think going for the second brain is gonna cut it. That thing is part Godzilla Earth. Who had a ridiculous amount of abilities."
"Godzilla Earth?"
…
Oh right it's 2010… that movie hasn't been made yet.
"It was a Godzilla movie back home. The plot was Godzilla showed up, humans fucked off into space and evacuated the planet before having to come back because the planet they were heading to was inhospitable or something. Due to time dilation shenanigans, they were technically gone for 20,000 years and Godzilla evolved into a 300 meter monster. I think my home was ahead of you in Godzilla movies. America was producing a sequel to a rebooted Godzilla series that was supposed to culminate in an eventual Godzilla vs Kong movie."
'NEEEEEERD!'
Shut up Lazuli.
…
…
"I take it you're a fan?"
"Hell yeah I am. Listen, we're in serious trouble. That isn't any Godzilla. It's like a Composite of all of them. That makes it probably the strongest possible creature on the planet right now."
"Mind giving me a rundown as we follow him?"
"Talk about Godzilla? Don't mind if I do."
We chased after Big G as I told Supes about every possible Godzilla I could think of. Giving him the basics of course before I started moving through the various versions that appeared in other media… like how Godzilla killed the Devil after a nice lovely stroll through hell. Told him every single ridiculous feat I could think of, every odd power and the like… explaining the nightmare that was Shin Godzilla was fun. Jesus, Composite Godzilla is just a pure fucking engine of destruction. I continued listing powers.
"Waving his tail fast enough produces a giant plasma blade that can slice up mountains, he can make fuckhuge leaps to perform gravity defying drop kicks, he's technically psychic - thanks for that one heisei era, hes effectively immortal, he can discharge an omnidirectional nuclear pulse or an EMP that is equivalent to a nuke, and he can just walk out of Hell after killing the Hell God that ruled it...He also had this thing called a phase radar array, so he probably knows we're following him."
Superman looked back to the lumbering titan as it made its way towards Connecticut. Currently, it was on a course that would lead it straight into the Narragansett Bay. According to Supes… who was talking via radio with Batman, Godzilla's course was leading him towards a nuclear power plant in Connecticut.
"Well what are its weaknesses?" Asked Superman.
"Well… It's corporeal…"
'Well that helps.'
"That's it?"
"Well… he's had several weaknesses over the years, but a lot of them have been retconned. He used to be vulnerable to electricity, now he gains power from it. He once had a weakness to cadmium. Anti-nuclear bacteria has had an effect on him, though Godzilla's immune system was ultimately able to conquer it. To date, the single weapon ever revealed to be genuinely effective against Godzilla was Dr. Serizawa's Oxygen Destroyer… and even that might not work on a composite."
"Great." Said Superman a tad sarcastic.
…
'Ok it's fine when I do it… but seeing that face produce sarcasm is just… oh so wrong.'
'Yeah it's like… that time we caught Batman smiling…'
Oh God... When did that happen?
'You weren't there... He was proud of Robin or someting, but I was not aware he possessed the muscles to smile.'
...
I feel dirty all of a sudden.. and I don't know why.
...
Oh right Superman. I almost forgot.
"He's a giant radioactive semi-aquatic dinosaur/marine iguana hybrid with a psuedo-plantlike biology incorporating metal into its biology with the collective Spirits of Victims of World War II."
"Anything else?"
…
…
"Probably not."
Godzilla then… stopped. His head twisted to the distance… then he sniffed the air. I don't know what happened next, but Godzilla started to growl. His stance became defensive as he slowly turned and headed off in another direction. When I saw him inhale, I covered my ears.
"SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEONNNK!"
"What is he doing?" Asked Superman.
"I dont…"
Our conversation was immediately interrupted by a squadron of jets passing us by and heading towards Godzilla.
…
"HAS NO ONE IN WASHINGTON SEEN A KAIJU MOVIE!"
…
…
Wait… kaiju movie…
…
…
Oh!
"I think… I think I know what Big G is doing."
"What?" Asked Supes.
When Supes saw my face, his own grew with concern… which was nice. I felt nice. Still, I was hesitant to say it out loud for fear of invoking a literary convention… but I could see no other reason.
"I think Godzilla found something he wants to fight."
"You don't mean…."
"Obligatory Kaiju Death Battle."
"But there isn't anything close to that size on this planet… we would have found it by now."
"Where is he heading?"
Superman put his finger to his ear, and was silent before his face fell.
"It's heading to Ivy Town."
…
Isn't that the home of the Atom? Could that be it? I was fairly certain Atom wasn't apart of the League, so he can't be at his full power… but he could still turn giant… could that be it? Or was it something else?
I hurt. Eons have passed, I have seeded life across earth. I fed and I grew… now I only hurt. My power has waned. I am far weaker than ever before. Am I dying? Am I to be no more? Wait… What is that? I feel… something approach. What are you? Then I heard it's echoing call.
"SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEONNNK!"
That cacophony? It is music. The sound of old gods risen once more. The roar af the atomic bomb... The call of mutation. However there is… something to it. I feel… satiated. Since the vile cure permeated the air I have been left to wither and decay. However… I feel it. A power unlike any other. Something similar… something… different. I project my mind outwards into the beyond, and I tap at the surface of this… Godzilla? Curious. What? What is that? Souls… so many souls. Human souls, all shackled together, working with another mind… a simple mind… no… not simple… the mind is not simple… it is… driven… focused… It senses me. It approaches me. Is this beast to be my executioner? No… I will not die like this. I touch the beasts essence… and I feel… IT. Yes this creature has IT. I begin to shift my body, mimicking my would be executioner… but only the part of it that possesses my essence. The part with delicious sickness. I will absorb and become you beast. I shall show these mortals what happens when they reject my gifts. The greatest gift I have ever given them. The gift of the Immortal Cell. The gift of that which replicates infinitely. The gift of Cancer. They reject me! THEY REJECT ME! I the one who decides who would prosper and survive their own evolution and who would serve only as food. NO MORE! This Godzilla… he possesses my gift… to a degree, but he has made it his own. However I can draw power from it… and I will become it. I will take the Cancer from him and I shall spread and grow like a tumor across this world. My gifts were once used sparingly… only on a select few, but no more. All shall be stricken. All shall be sickened. All shall be made like me. All shall be… M'nagalah, the Cancer God. I awaken.
Nope. Drawing blanks. It has to be Atom.
Well either way the King of Monsters started to leg it… not that hard when your legs were over 400 feet long by themselves really. His dorsal spines weren't glowing, but they were arcing with lightning that continued to strike from the growing storms above. The Jets continued to fire upon Godzilla which the Kaiju promptly ignored. The King had bigger fish to fry.
"It's like he doesn't even notice." Said Superman.
'Yeah... that is usually how it goes.' Thought Spoke Lapis.
I had to agree with that assessment. What are rockets to a giantest and most awesome of Nuclear Nasties in all of fiction. I wouldn't even compare it to a flea bite really... more like a gentle breeze on a warm summer night.
'Oddly specific.'
"He probably doesn't notice. He's laser focused on something. I want to say it's Atom… but I can't really be sure. Does Atom have any giant villains?"
Ones I'm unaware of that is.. I did not read a whle lot of Atom Comics.
"None on that scale that's for sure." said Superman.
"Well… shit, I'd hate to be Atom right now."
Again, assuming that is what Godzilla was headed for.
"You can destroy planets, are you sure you can't do… something against Godzilla?"
"Against some of them… yeah, but against a Composite… well he kills Gods. Big G is out of our league right now. At best he's bare minimum in straight up New God territory… at worse he's an Eldritch Personification of would need a power unlike any other to deal with him. Like… a really big slingshot."
Superman just deadpan stared at me.
"Really?"
"What? I can't help that my brain does stuff."
'Acknowledging that is the first step to recovery.'
Thanks Lazuli, real helpful.
'Just trying to get you to be honest with yourself.'
…
…
'The joke is you don't have a brain.'
Turns out, you don't need one. Also thank you for clarifying Lapis. I'd be lost without you.
'You're welcome bro.'
…
…
'Lapis… did you just use sarcasm?'
'Huh? What's that? I'm reading Where the Wild Things Are.'
Well… It's a good story. So yeah… Just do that I guess… First Mxy goes insane, then Godzilla shows up, then Superman does Sarcasm, then Lapis does even more sarcasm... Man what is with today?
'You unintentionally released a reality warping Imp who thought it was a good idea to snatch the King of Monsters and bring him to this reality for shits and giggles.'
Thank you again Lapis for clarifying.
'It's what I do.' 'It really isn't.'
'Ha! He's stuck on an island with monsters wearing only pajamas… classic.'
…
I think them being in my brain…
'Head.' Insisted Lazuli.
…
I think them being in my brain is starting to affect them more… Oh well, it can't be helped.
'NOBODY MOVE… I dropped Cells Brain!'
…
…
…
Wat!?
'Just joking. Lol. This is fun.'
…
Dammit Lapis… I'm trying to concentrate.
'Yeah sorry. I finished Where the Wild Things Are… got bored.'
Riveting.
"Are you alright?" Asked Superman.
"Hm! What's that?"
"You seem… distracted."
'Yeah is the Giant Monster not entertaining enough?' Mind thought Lazuli.
Oh no it most certainly is, I just keep getting distracted by the two voices in my head that won't shut up when Godzilla is rampaging.
'Point taken.'
"Sorry, got lost in our thoughts."
"Our?"
"It's complicated."
'And really creepy when you think about it.'
…
Yeah… it kinda is… GAH! Stop squicking me out.
As I sorted whatever THAT was out in my head, I noticed that we were dangerously close to Ivy Town... but then Godzilla stopped several hundred meters from it and took a mighty gulp of air. Palms of Ear protection a-go-go baby.
"SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEONNNK!"
The King of Monsters then waited... for what I don't know, but seeing as he was currently immobile. I turned to Superman.
"Ok, I'm going to go as Big as I can and switch on my Multiform. Four of us might be able to at least tire him out."
"I'll be doing what I can." Said Supes.
With a nod I summoned three copies of myself.
"Oh, it feels so good to be Perfect." Said Also Cell.
"Yeah, how come you never call us out when you're at full… this feels awesome." Said Other Cell.
"Lets just grow big." Said the Bugman Currently Known as Cell.
With a nod, I agreed immediately.
I raised my arms to the sky.
"Inekchok!" I screamed like Apache Chief… not that it was necessary mind you… but since when has that ever stopped me from doing anything.
I was currently about… well If I was standing on the ground, I would be as tall as Godzillas knees… that's comforting... Wait... That would make me almost 400 feet tall... Damn, not bad actually.
"Magic Ki, Make this monster GROW!" Screamed Also Cell like he was fucking Rita Repulsa or something.
He joined me in big ass hugeness.
"Aw c'mon man you took the good one." Said Other cell.
"TOUGH SHIT!"
Other Cell Only sighed… then smiled.
…
"JETTO JAGAA! PANCHI! PANCHI PANCI!" Screamed Other Cell.
Aww man, why didn't I think of using gratuitous engrish and sing the Jet Jaguar theme… dammit.
"OH NICE!"
"Bigguns!" Said the Bugman Currently Known as Cell.
…
…
"Bigguns… really?"
"OH FUCK YOU YOU ALL TOOK THE AWESOME ONES!"
He had a point there.
Alright lets...
"SkKrREeEeEeEeEeOoOoOoNnNnKk!"
…
What was that? That didn't come from Godzilla. In fact... It sounded like it came from under the goddamn ground... Which is probably why suddenly the ground began to quake as a slumbering beast beneath it began to awaken from some long forgotten slumber... or something, I'm just guessing at this point. Godzilla remained immobile as he started to Growl at whatever it was that was coming.
'So… MuCh...PoWeR!'
The voice was… wrong. It produced a tone that could not exist. Also, and stay with me on this one because it is the most important aspect as to this VOICE OF EVIL... IT WAS SPOKEN INSIDE MY FUCKING BRAIN!
'I mUsT hAvE mOrE, I wIlL hAvE mOrE, iT aLl ShAlL bE mInE!'
The ground began to squirm as something massive stirs beneath. I could feel a presence unlike any I have ever known. A malevolence with intent and purpose.
Then a giant… thing arose. Godzilla watched intently as a horrific abomination rose from the earth. It had multiple lashing tails, multiple reptilian heads, multiple clawed arms. And worst of all… it looked like an EVEN WORSE version of Shin Godzilla… tumors and eyes covered its neurotic skin as jagged teeth came out from everywhere around it. All of its spines glowed a brilliant purple. It's shoulder possessed a massive maw that diagonally bisected its chest with rows of teeth, and its bulbous fish like eyes stared blankly in all directions.
'WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING!' 'EW! EW! EW! GROSS GROSS GROSS!'
Then the main head of this ShinGoji Abomination turned to Composite Godzilla.
"SkKrREeEeEeEeEeOoOoOoNnNnKk!"
…
…
What.
The.
Actual.
FUCK!
…
Oh… shit I forgot about the Cancer God… Double FUCK.
A/N: I also have a drawing of the Cancer God assumin the form of Shin Godzilla. Look up 'Beastrider9 Shin Godzilla Meltdown' you'll find it.