WOWOWOWOWOWOWOOW, I'm the luckiest girl in the world. Thank you for your kindness and love! THANKS FOR YOUR REVIEWS!

It really makes me SO HAPPY to get feedback, so pleasepleaseplease let me know what you think!

Review to make me update faster!

Notes on future chapters: I have a looooot mapped out - pretty much I'm just working on a way to wrap this whole thing up but it won't be any time soon no worries! Currently, I'm writing some things in Robert's POV, some dialogue for Robert and Rosalie and Camille and Rosalie. I'm also exploring a scene when Rosalie told Camille she was pregnant and what she thought, and another scene from Bangladesh of Emmett and Rosalie's relationship foundation and the first thing she really learns about his past and some more things I don't want to spoil yet heheheh. Big things are brewing!

Looking For You Again - Matthew Perryman Jones

Your breakdown was easy to see
And it took you away, further from me
Sifting through mishaps and photographs
I think of you, much more than I should
More than I should
And I'm falling down
Like it's holy ground
I'm looking for you again

Slow regrets
That live in the dark
And I wrote them all down
But I know them by heart
I've counted the cost of this loneliness
And I've paid for the crime
And one day I'll die

With you in my mind

Vera: Whiplash

Two Weeks Later

I watched Rosalie laugh freely, tossing her head back as Emmett shot her down the produce aisle in the bed of the shopping cart. She crashed into the tomato display with a screech right before Emmett could catch up and grab the handle again to save her from this fate.

"Whoops." He playfully grimaced as she turned around in surprise.

She pursed her lips together, but ultimately burst into laughter as she climbed out of the cart.

"I got whiplash." She complained, rubbing her neck falsely.

He rolled his eyes, grabbing both of her shoulders and giving them a quick and apologetic massage.

"Your turn." She turned and challenged, but much to her surprise, he climbed in the basket, looking exceptionally awkward trying to fit his long legs and large frame inside.

He looked strikingly like a cat fitting into a box only one-sixteenth of their size.

John and I couldn't help but chuckle along with them like a bunch of children.

Henry was in our shopping cart so we wouldn't be attempting any tricks, but Rosalie put all her body weight into the handle, grunting a little before eventually pushing the cart at a laughably slow pace.

"Come on, Rose, faster." Emmett encouraged with a mischievous grin.

"I'm trying." She complained with tension, pushing off with her legs to gain a little traction.

We all spent most of our days like this now. After what happened a couple weeks ago, I thought it was best to stop trying to approach this traditionally. A lot of professionals tended to treat people like them like a math problem. The solution could be found through a series of formulas, some more complicated than others, but Rosalie and Emmett stumped me…

I tried reading and researching and talking and having sessions, but none of that seemed to illuminate what was really keeping them from a breakthrough.

Then, out of nowhere it hit me.

Rosalie and I had been sitting in the living room floor with Henry watching him play, the two of us talking just to get to know one another as friends. She was really an exceptional person, and incredibly interesting though she seemed insecure in conversation due to her introverted personality and the learned behaviors of being seen and not heard. Over time though, she loosened up and spoke freely now.

Henry was trying to build a little tower with blocks that fit together with little grooves and pegs.

I'd been telling Rosalie something about raising my first chickens and she reached out to help a frustrated Henry with his construction.

'It's not working because this one's broken, see?' she had tried to explain to him, showing him how the block was a little warped and was missing a peg.

That's when it hit me…

She and Emmett were doing the same thing. They were frustratedly trying to construct a tower that just kept crumbling down because they couldn't see they were using broken materials and didn't stand a chance of any longevity.

Emmett and Rosalie were both strivers by nature. They were tenacious and headstrong and pushed forward no matter what and no matter the cost. They were trying so hard to go back to the way things were before they lost their child and were analyzing every little thing meticulously to try and 'figure' something out that could never be 'figured out.' They were trying to reconstruct their marriage and reconstruct themselves and their careers and their relationships with others all at once. They were trying to 'win' the grief challenge but there was no finish line.

They just needed a new normal to keep as home base. They had both been disintegrated and broken so unrecognizably, but now because of that hey had the unique opportunity to create that new normal from scratch. They couldn't keep trying to build with broken materials…

So, I decided to stop trying to have them analyze themselves and each other and just start from scratch.

At first, they didn't understand why I kept putting off the traditional counseling session where they'd sit across from me and I'd make them bleed freely while I took notes on their words and behavior.

Instead, I thought we could just go to the grocery store, cook, ride a horse, play with Henry, harvest some pumpkins, swim in the river, or just lay in the October sun. I even tried to get them to sit still long enough to watch Young Frankenstein in the spirit of Halloween, but that proved to be the biggest challenge of the entire process.

I swear, Emmett would've turned cartwheels he was so full of pent up energy, though of course they paid enough attention to laugh at all the good parts and understand most of the plot.

Rosalie had her hands busy braiding and unbraiding her hair, then Emmett tried to take the task from her and learn how to braid her hair he was so desperate for something to do. She taught him how to braid and then French braid, but then realized her own hands needed to be busy and so she tried to braid his hair now that it had started to get long enough to twist together a couple times.

Then, even that wasn't enough and Emmett had to stand up for the last twenty minutes of the movie.

They weren't movie people. I decided this quickly.

The next time John and I suggested a horror movie, Rosalie said they'd watch Henry if that was okay with us. John and I were shocked of course, but it was a pleasant break for us to get some alone time, and so we agreed.

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw Rosalie and Emmett running and laughing and playing in the back yard like children with my own child.

I watched Rosalie get more confident and she unfurled like a blooming flower. She seemed to stand taller and find eye contact more easily. She smiled at her husband and let him take her hand, most times even reaching for him before he could reach for her. As mentioned, she was no longer reticent around Henry and even spoke of her friend Alice's children with fondness. It was an absolutely staggering experience to see how she'd changed in such a short time.

She was young though and still in such a transitional portion of her life that she could modify behavior a lot more malleably.

My focus really was more directed toward Emmett. I felt his unhealthy adaptive behaviors were so twisted and laced through his identity he had more trouble separating the two, but he was resilient and open and warm so he was quicker than Rosalie to adapt to the sheer enjoyment of life's little things.

He was taking to the change in methodology nicely, and the time in the sun seemed to do wonders for him like he had been a light starved plant and was now able to flourish.

Really what made him begin to thrive though was Rosalie's increasing attention and affection.

That brought to mind the phrasings he'd used almost two weeks ago insisting that he wasn't starved for approval like Rosalie was… This behavior made it obvious he didn't know he was lying. He breathed her approval like air and as he began to get more of it, he transformed too.

I think he'd really pushed past a huge obstacle - being transparent about his father - and this really allowed him more freedom to grow out of his past. But, he still had so much grief and anger surrounding the loss of his child that wouldn't be a quick, easy fix.

Rosalie and Emmett both refused to try an antidepressant even on the short term, knowing the research on fertility. I thought that was fine, but I looked at the vitamins Rosalie was taking and made some adjustments. Emmett was really doing better after the initial alcohol withdrawal - but it didn't take long to note that he really wasn't an alcoholic of any sort. He didn't have any of those signs or habits. He was just a little dependent, but ultimately he was in control. I saw it more as self-sabotage and an excuse to feel out of control, but ultimately it didn't seem to be a problem worth pursuing. He agreed to talk to one of my colleagues in New York regularly, and I thought just being able to go to therapy would be good enough to get him back on track.

All things considered, I feel like we'd made a lot of progress, especially seeing them have senseless fun with each other like this presently - horsing around in a grocery store.

They'd started to enjoy their lives again…

And that, opened up endless possibility for them.

Rosalie finally got him to the end of the aisle, laughing with a strain as she tried to turn the cart.

"Wait." Emmett gripped the sides of the shopping cart, trying to unfold himself from the basket.

"What is it?" Rosalie asked, not as alarmed by his tone as I was.

I watched him closely as he jumped over the edge of the cart and strode toward one of the televisions on in the electronic center.

He seemed drawn to the screen like a moth to a flame.

Rosalie abandoned the shopping cart to quickly take the space by his side. She glued her eyes to the television where a blond woman was walking toward the talk show hot seat.

A sickly sweet snake-like smile appeared on the woman's face, and a round of applause echoed through the live audience as she waved stiffly. Rings were on every single one of her skinny fingers.

I watched Rosalie's face, but it was blank as she stared at the woman on the screen. It wasn't hard to notice that they shared many of the same facial features…

My stomach immediately dropped.

"What is she doing?" Rosalie mumbled.

It was a trash talk show, nothing really substantial was ever on here but intense celebrity gossip. The host was a slimy man with silver hair and ostentatious fashion sense.

He raved about how beautiful she looked and how she was glowing - insinuating something by the pseudo-bashful look on her face…

Emmett cursed the nastiest string of curse words I'd probably ever heard in my life as he fumed murderously.

"Emmett…" Rosalie scolded half-heartedly, but he barely acknowledged her.

His hands clenched into fists as he turned and paced forward with the determination that suggested he could walk all the way back to New York in one session.

John didn't follow him at first, then he sensed something dangerous if he didn't, so John turned to catch up with him.

I watched Rosalie's face though, calmly staring up at her mother on the screen, announcing to the world what was supposed to be a joyous announcement, but what had turned into a blatant nightmare.

"Why would she do this?" Rosalie asked me, her eyes coming to me in a shockingly cognizant and serene way.

I stuttered, absolutely dumbfounded. I had never in my life seen a mother with so much obvious jealousy and disregard for her own child.

It wasn't neglect. It was intentional attacking.

This was pure evil.

Evil.

I had never in all of my years…

"She… she knows how hard I've been…" Rosalie's bottom lip trembled now, as she watched her own mother place her hands on her stomach in a reverent gesture that could only mean one thing…

"I'm so sorry." I breathed, throwing my arms around her instinctually.

Rosalie didn't immediately return my embrace, but I wrapped my arms around her tighter, pressing my hands into her back and closing my eyes shut tight.

My heart raced.

"I know how much you want a baby. I know how much you ache and yearn for a baby. It's not fair. I'm so sorry."

That's when I heard Rosalie's name.

"Just a few weeks ago, some photos of your daughter, Rosalie Hale were released along with her announcement of pulling out of every major fashion week - and let me tell you, it's been sending the world into absolute mayhem!" The talk show host began.

Some photos of Rosalie flashed across the screen that made her look like a Lindsey Lohan character of a party animal…

At this, Rosalie's jaw dropped and her eyes went wide. I was halfway glad that Emmett had been gone, because there's no telling what he'd do seeing Rosalie thrown under the bus like this. My own eyes couldn't rip away from the pictures that painted her as a train wreck and him as a drunken martyr.

"Then, VOGUE interrupted fashion week coverage and released a response story about how Rosalie and her husband, Emmett McCarty lost a child last fall and they believed quote 'someone must first be vulnerable enough to share their own story to open the door to conversation and provide support and comfort for other women.'"

"What?!" Rosalie's face went white.

It became apparent she had nothing to do with this.

"Alice!" She shrieked.

"Rosalie…" I mumbled as she seemed to start to unravel.

Her eyes were wild and crazed as she stared back at the television.

Rosalie's mother painted on an acting expression of sadness, saying some bull crap about tragedy and fear and whatever that was totally just cooked up for the television.

A photograph of Rosalie and Emmett as happy, expectant parents appeared on the screen behind them and Rosalie's mother wiped fake tears from under her eyes about the miracle of her own baby, thankful for the technology and medical advances to provide she and her wife the opportunity to have a child of their own in the wake of such tragedy.

She said she had no idea Rosalie was still hurting so deeply that she'd have to pull out of fashion week, and lied - saying that Rosalie hadn't reacted negatively when she'd told her about her half-brother. She further spun the lie, saying Rosalie was thrilled to hear her news. As Camille and the host talked, they suggested that Rosalie's jealousy of her mother was ever-present and assuming that it was irrationally and incorrectly provoking mental illness in her of some variety, causing her to act out.

Rosalie's face went white and I watched her closely.

Camille went on to talk about choosing a donor and made a tasteless joke about how at first she thought about asking Emmett because he was the only man on earth that made her question being a lesbian. She shrugged saying that as it was, his genetics were just going to waste.

I felt sick. That's her daughter's husband...

At this, Rosalie closed her eyes.

Information poured from the television, and I half expected Rosalie to rip it of the wall and start a tantrum.

But, she didn't.

She clenched her jaw resolutely.

"I can't believe she'd do this."

I didn't know what to say, and I was never at a loss for words.

What kind of mother?…

"You deserve for the world not to be ripped out from under your feet anymore. I am so sorry, Rosalie. I am so sorry." I said finally.

"I don't want you to be sorry." She said, narrowing her eyes.

"But, I am. I know how much this has to hurt."

"I… I'm numb." She sighed. "I don't feel anything."

"Rosalie…" I didn't know what else to say and I reached for her again, hugging her tightly.

"I don't know where to start." She murmured. "I can't think about all of it at once."

"Just think of one thing then. We'll go through it together." I assured her, taking her hands that were now almost all the way healed now.

"You need someone to tell you it's going to be okay, that you don't have to do this all by yourself, even though you are more than strong enough and capable to do anything by yourself." I told her, my voice shaking only slightly, because there was something about Rosalie that felt so personal.

"You're going to be okay." I told her fervently and her bottom lip trembled as she looked into my eyes, searching.

I noticed her eyes start to get glassy.

"Alice is my best friend, and she betrayed me."

"She was probably just trying to help you after those pictures came out. She knows who you are, and wants the world to know your heart like she does."

Rosalie sighed.

"That was extremely private." She mumbled.

"I know that you don't like to be blindsided." I allowed her to justify her feelings.

"I don't." She furrowed her brow.

"But, Alice was doing what she thought was best. She was trying to protect you because she loves you." I defended. "I know it's not in the way that you think is best, but no doubt, she was hurt too because she imagined how you were hurting, and she thinks that what you're doing wasn't working."

Rosalie just nodded.

"I don't like people thinking they know me…" Rosalie breathed.

"I'm sure Alice knows that, and so she thought the truth was the best way to combat that. You have been such an influential voice for women already so she thinks that they'll listen to you again about this. It happens to so, so many women..."

Rosalie swallowed, seeming satisfied with this as she looked away.

"What did I do wrong?" Rosalie asked in a whisper.

"You didn't do anything wrong. What are you talking about?" I asked, brushing her hair back like we were a couple of girlfriends at a sleepover.

She let me.

"My mother didn't want me. She didn't want to take the time to care for me. But… But now, someone else gets her. Somebody else gets my mom." Rosalie wiped a tear from her eye as quickly as it appeared.

The lump in my throat burned and scorched through my esophagus. I don't think I'd be able to speak, even if I had the words to say.

"She has a new family now." Rosalie swallowed. "She's never going to be my mother ever again."

I bit my teeth together.

"She'll always be your mother." I said tightly, not wanting to put the idea in her head that maybe she never had been her mother.

"No… No, she won't." Rosalie disagreed quietly.

"You should talk to her, tell her how much this hurts you."

"It's not like it will even matter." Rosalie shrugged.

"Why do you say that?"

"I don't matter to her at all." Rosalie exhaled almost angrily.

Here we go…

I stayed quiet. Anger was going to be what allowed her to finally get exasperated enough to cut these toxic ties.

"She's cold, and heartless… She's mean and… She's having a baby when she knows how much I want one." A few tears escaped Rosalie's eyes now, but she was quick again to wipe them off. "She didn't even try to tell me first. Warn me at least…"

I just nodded. She needed to stop seeing her mother like a saint and maybe she could start to detach from the toxicity.

"That's just so… so evil." Rosalie gritted her teeth.

"But, why now?… Why?" Rosalie turned on her heel to turn her back on the rest of her mother's interview.

"It's awful timing." I seconded her vexation.

"Why all of a sudden is she ready to be a mother? I mean, yes she's older now, but..." Rosalie fixated.

"Will she raise this baby the same way she raised me, or well… didn't raise me, and pass them off to nannies and tutors?" Rosalie's anger was her most prevalent emotion. "Or will this baby get her like I never did?…"

"Either way, I hate it…" Rosalie groaned, clenching her hands into fists over her eyes as she fought her tears. "I hate it."

"I know."

"I'm sick of getting disappointed by her. You'd think I'd be used to it by now." She said sharply.

"I'm sorry, Rosalie." I whispered, my heart feeling heavy in my chest.

She cleared her throat.

"She's in New York…" Rosalie noticed that the talk show was hosted in New York, tangentially and I knew what she was thinking.

"You should go." I said through a tight throat.

I nodded, knowing it was time to let them go.

A deep part of me would miss them on a personal level… I knew John would miss Emmett.

Rosalie's eyes searched my face, her perfect brow furrowed.

"Really?" She asked.

"Really." I said, taking her hands in mine.

"I'm not ready, though." She protested.

"Yes, you are." I insisted.

"What do I say to her?"

"The truth." I said honestly.

Rosalie seemed to know what this was, but I didn't ask her.

"But listen, I just want to make sure you know some things…" I said, leading in to what I was about to say.

"You are not your mother, Rosalie."

She snorted.

"No, you are really not your mother."

"I know that." She raised an eyebrow, her face seeming like she wasn't retaining what I was saying or allowing herself to really hear me.

"You are going to be an extraordinary mother, and I don't exclusively mean biologically, though of course I want that for you. There are hundreds of more ways to leave a legacy than through a biological child." I tried to get her to understand the weight of my words through the intensity of my eye contact.

She heard me now, allowing my words to enter her bloodstream.

"And, you have to stop throwing tantrums." I told her intently. "You're acting out when Emmett opens up to you because you're afraid of loving him as much as you do when you think you might lose him. You're seeing if you push hard enough if he'll abandon you like your mother did."

Rosalie's eyes were wide and understanding and she nodded, knowing how right I was.

"He won't." I assured her.

"I know." She breathed.

"But, you can't leave him either." I said. "He's afraid of the same things you are, Rosalie. He suffers just like you do. Don't leave him to fend for himself even if he seems totally capable of doing so. Men are funny that way. This really sent him over the edge. He needs you. He will transfer that into trying to take care of you and pretend he's fine, but he's not. He's really hurt by this. You have to acknowledge that he won't let himself get overtly bothered by anything because he thinks any display of extreme emotion makes him into his father, and he doesn't want to do to you what his father did to his mother."

She nodded, taking a deep breath.

"You have to know that, Rosalie. He may never be able to fully let go and let you see what's going on in his head when he's upset, but you have to keep trying." I encouraged. "I mean, that's why he walked away just now. He doesn't want you to ever see him hurt. He's scared of what that'll do to you."

This realization seemed to come to Rosalie in an epiphany, and I saw it register behind her eyes. She understood...

"But, that's exactly what I did to him..." Rosalie mused. "Isn't that funny?"

"What do you mean?"

"I did to him what his father did to his mother." Rosalie nodded. "Exactly."

"You both have your own coping mechanisms." I nodded.

"You know… Colette lived for forty five minutes." Rosalie said evenly. "She lived for forty five minutes. Emmett and I don't talk about that, but she had forty five minutes… And, so... We hoped. Even though she was barely as big as the palm of Emmett's hand, we thought… maybe."

My throat was tight and my eyes stung at the sound of her voice and the rawness of her words.

"But, when I was watching Colette, he was watching me. He didn't want to get too close to her… He didn't want to know the joy and the hope that I was saying goodbye to. He couldn't. But, I did. I wanted to give her everything I had for as long as I had."

"I talked to her and sang to her and tried to tell her everything good about the world and about me and her father." Rosalie went on.

The healing and power in her voice made me shiver.

"I don't blame Em for any of that." Rosalie clarified. "But, he didn't… He didn't do what I did. I felt the… I felt the life get sucked out of her. I felt them take her out of my arms… I felt it all… So... It kills me to think that I had to go through that alone. I wanted to know he felt it all too, even though... I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone... I just..."

She trailed off, but she redirected.

"You know, someone from Em's office once told him at a dinner 'at least you didn't know the baby' and it just about killed me because I was sitting right there and I felt like I did. I went absolutely postal. That's the night that first picture was taken when he had to pick me up out of the bathroom floor."

I noticed I'd started crying when Rosalie wiped the tear from my cheek with her fingertips.

"Emmett and I have been through too much together." Rosalie said evenly.

"That's what makes you strong." I noted, truly believing it.

She mulled this over for a few seconds, taking a deep pause.

"I almost forgot the world was still out there." Rosalie expanded, a curious look in her eyes.

"Life was so perfect these past few weeks." She breathed. "Too perfect. I almost forgot about the rest of it."

"You can still be happy, Rosalie." I protested, my heart beating rapidly.

"Emmett and I have been through too much…" Rosalie mumbled, repeating herself, but sounding different. "I just thought we could be happy for a while."

"Life will always be out there, Rosalie, and it will always be hard, but of course, you can still be happy with Emmett." I assured her with a fervent nod."You have each other - through anything and everything!"

She twirled a piece of her hair around her fingers and I caught a flash of her diamond ring.

In a cliche, I thought about how much pressure was needed to create that diamond, and how much pressure was needed to create the marriage it symbolized...

"I can never thank you enough for what you did." Rosalie said, her eyes coming back to mine with sincerity and weight in her words.

I swallowed.

"You don't need to thank me." I mumbled.

"But, I do." Rosalie nodded. "You changed everything for us."

"You're both incredibly strong, resilient, amazing people." I said, squeezing her arm.

She gave me a little smile.

"And… And you've become a friend." I admitted.

"I won't forget this, Vera." She breathed.