The next three days passed quietly as Gryffindors and Slytherins slowly recovered and reappeared in their classes. It was odd, having only half or even as few as a third of the students normally there in each class. As a result, the lessons were strangely subdued; and Remus was reminded of the ghostlike silence of his living room at home, when he sat surrounded by the muffled quiet of his parents' house.

Thankfully, no one asked him any questions about his grandparents. He had expected stares of sympathy, pity, and frank curiosity; but, as he continually reminded himself, he wasn't the first Hogwarts student who had lost family members at the hands of the Death Eaters. It was doubtful that any curiosity would last more than a couple of days.

Remus was aware that his decision not to visit James and Sirius in the infirmary was bound to cause his friends some confusion, if not outright anger. He'd even avoided Peter so that he wouldn't have to answer any pointed questions about the matter – not that Peter had ever been known to ask any pointed questions, but there was always a first time. And Remus couldn't bear to hurl accusations at Sirius while he lay in a hospital bed; he wanted to confront him after he had recuperated. Nor could he tell James that he and Lily were together; James deserved a full recovery so that he could punch him in the face if he so chose. So Remus simply avoided them all, for now. The time for confessions and accusations would be here soon enough.

Now, after his last class, he meandered slowly, albeit with a pounding heart, through the forest toward the place where he would meet Lily. They chose a different location each day; and as terrible as the guilt was, Remus couldn't deny that it was also thrilling having such a secret. The secrecy was seductive in and of itself, and he had a difficult time concentrating during his classes. If he wasn't thinking about the last time he'd been with Lily, he was anticipating their next encounter.

His long legs carried him up the hill, and there was Lily, waiting, a blanket spread beneath her as she reclined with her arms tucked behind her head, staring into the sky, perhaps moving the clouds while she waited for him. A picnic basket sat at one corner of the blanket, although she hadn't bothered to unpack it. Conversation, and any other business they had to attend to, always came second. It was an arrangement they'd come to without a word, and Remus couldn't say that he minded.

As he neared the summit of the dragon's burial mound, he felt the heat coming off the earth; the warmth emanating from the ground was subtler now that the spring air temperature was rising, but it was still palpable nevertheless. Remus noted, with a tremor of pleasure that never ceased to amaze him, that Lily was still wearing her school uniform, with the little skirt, the skirt that had caused him no end of distraction in Potions today. When she saw him, she sat up and smiled, and his heart performed its ritual somersault. He smiled back and removed his cloak as he walked toward her. Nearing her, he tossed his cloak to the ground and pulled his jumper over his head, dumping it next to his cloak. As he sank to his knees she rose onto hers to meet him, and their lips met in a feverish greeting, as if it had been weeks since they'd last seen each other instead of mere hours. Her fingers loosened his school tie and threw it impatiently aside, then began working quickly on the buttons of his shirt. Meanwhile his hands couldn't decide whether they needed to remove her blouse or her skirt first, so one hand fumbled with the blouse while the other reached under the skirt to pull at her knickers. Lily tugged at his shirt and he was forced to remove his hands and mouth from her for a moment and shrug the clothing away. While his hands were briefly snarled within the shirtsleeves, she stripped out of her blouse and bra with a speed that would have astounded him, had he had the presence of mind to reflect on such a thing. He whipped off his undershirt and captured her lips again hungrily. Now that he could feel her skin against his chest, his fingers quickly unzipped her skirt and pushed it down to her knees, taking her knickers with it. Their kiss deepened for the briefest of moments before she pulled away from him to sit back and kick off the clothing, along with her shoes and socks. Then she was on her knees with him again, kissing him enthusiastically and unbuckling his belt. Soon his boxer shorts and socks and shoes joined his trousers in the piles of clothing next to them. He lowered her to the blanket and was already pressing into her when he realized that she was reaching for her wand. They quickly uttered the contraception spell, and with a gasp and a groan they were one.

Their lovemaking, on that first night, the days since, and today, was tinged with an undercurrent of hurry, and of desperation, as if they had to save each other from some unknown horror lurking just out of sight, as if they might at any moment be torn from each other's arms. Whether their bodies moved slowly together, or pounded roughly in a frenzy of longing, the urgency never left them. Remus felt it. He suspected Lily could, too. Now he pushed himself as deeply as he could into her, their breath hot on each other's faces, her eyes glistening as they pierced his. He moved as slowly as he could, covering her mouth with kisses and wishing, not for the first time, that he knew of a spell that could slow down time. As he continued to move, trying his best to draw out the moment for as long as possible, he watched in awe as her eyes unfocused, then closed, and she buried her face against his neck; and he heard the little vocalizations she made and sensed the tension in her body growing and felt the sweat on her lower back beneath his hand as her body unraveled itself for him. This, to him, always, each and every time, felt like the beginning of the end. But he couldn't slow his own climax once he'd felt hers, and so it was over yet again. And, as he panted into her cheek and shivered as her fingers tangled in the damp hair at the nape of his neck, he yearned once more for the next time.

Remus wanted to confess to her that he loved her, had loved her for years, for almost as long as he could remember, a boyish crush that had grown into something larger than he'd ever anticipated. He figured she knew – she'd said as much in the Common Room, just before they'd kissed all night on the sofa – but he wanted to make her certain of it. But something stopped him. Perhaps it was too soon. Perhaps he needed to come clean and tell James first. It would come, in time. It was only a matter of time, he assured himself. He rolled off of her and they lay there on the blanket, breathing heavily and holding hands and watching the fluffy clouds roll past them in the sky.

Later, after they'd gotten partially dressed and had eaten their picnic, Remus said, "I think Sirius suspects that I'm – that I've got feelings for you." What was left of their picnic lay in crumbs and rinds on the plates at their feet, the empty butterbeer bottles lying drunkenly on their sides. Remus' hands were tucked behind his head and he gazed at the tops of the trees surrounding them. The sky was that amazing blue that was too dark for daytime and too light for night, a kind of royal-midnight-peacock blue that seemed designed to accentuate and sharpen anything silhouetted in it: The very top of the astronomy tower. The budding trees. Lily's profile.

Lily propped herself on an elbow and nestled close to Remus, resting a hand on his chest. "I wondered if that's what he was talking about the night we went to Honeyduke's."

"When he's sniffing something out he's not very subtle. So, yeah." Remus placed a hand on top of hers, pressing it closer to his heart.

"Are you worried?" she asked, concern darting across her brow.

"Yes," he said frankly. "But."

"But what?"

"Yes, I'm worried about my mates disowning me. I'm more than a little worried about that." A heavy sigh left him. Truthfully, he hadn't allowed himself to think very hard about the reality of that consequence. He squeezed her hand. "But I also worry about you."

"Me?" Lily flushed. "Why?"

"You deserve to be on a fellow's arm with no pretense, no secrets. We shouldn't have to sneak. It's not just James; don't forget that I'm a werewolf."

Lily's brow furrowed as she sat back. "No one but your friends and I know – "

"And Dumbledore."

"Yes, but he's – "

"And Madam Pomfrey."

"Right, because she's – "

"And McGonagall."

"Well, that makes sense – "

"And Hagrid."

"Hagrid knows? How does Hagrid – "

"And Lucas Lovegood."

"The reporter? Wait, when did – "

"And let's not forget Severus." Remus sat up on his elbow and Lily was silent. "So all in all I'd say there's a good chance that everyone will know, sooner or later, wouldn't you agree?" His voice was harsher than he'd intended for it to be. Lily buttoned her blouse up the rest of the way and stared at the crusts on the plates in front of her, her cheeks red. Remus sat up and brushed his fingers across her jawline. "Lily." He spoke softly, apologetically. "Do you really want to be seen with someone who – "

"Stop," Lily said abruptly. She took his hand away from her cheek and held it in hers, squeezing it and rubbing her fingers across his knuckles absently.

They were silent, and Remus decided to stop pressing the matter. They'd have to face it sooner or later. He thought he'd be ready, but he really didn't know if Lily would be.

"But about James," Lily said firmly. "You shouldn't have to worry about losing your best friends. I mean, do you really think James will disown you when he finds out?"

There was a flash of feeling behind Lily's gaze, and Remus' stomach lurched. Something was lurking there, beyond the green veil of her eyes. Something he wished he hadn't seen at all. Something that looked suspiciously like a young man with dark, unruly hair and glasses and a jaunty gait. James and Lily at the Yule dance, colors and music whirling around them. A lopsided, sweaty smile at Quidditch. Study hall, sitting too close together, pages rustling as they were turned. Whispers, arguments, doors slammed. And something that unmistakably felt like fear, and frustration, and curiosity, and …

Remus turned away from her and wrapped his arms around his knees, staring down at the remains of their picnic.

" … What do you think?"

"Hmm?" Remus replied, trying to will his heart to slow down.

"I said we could tell them. Get it done in one fell swoop."

"Yeah," mumbled Remus, hardly hearing his own words. "I should tell him when he's out of the infirmary."

"That's what I said," Lily chided, sitting next to him and placing a hand on his back. "There's no rush."

He looked at her, mustering a smile. But now he couldn't stop the Legilimency from happening; he was too emotional. The memories and feelings blazed in front of him, as impossible to avoid as an explosion. There was James, and there was Sirius, the two almost interchangeable in Lily's eyes. Feelings of indignation and disgust wound themselves through her gut when she thought of Sirius and his careless pranks; the way he seemed to earn passing marks on his exams without ever seeming to do homework; the endless dalliances with girls she knew, with her friend Olivia. As Lily's jumbled mix of memories hurled themselves into Remus' brain, James' cockiness became Sirius', and Sirius' lechery became James'. There was practically no distinction between them in her mind's eye. Strangely, Remus felt compelled to defend James, and Sirius, to emphasize their differences, to assert their loyal friendship, their cleverness, their good intentions. But how could he do so without revealing that he'd been sifting through her thoughts? Besides, he had to admit he wasn't entirely certain he wanted to leap to their defense anymore. He felt quite disloyal indeed as he pulled himself out of her thoughts and let his gaze wander into the forest.

She's crazy about you, you idiot, he reminded himself. He'd seen it for himself, on this very hill, the last time they were here. In any case, she was probably feeling as guilty as he was about all this. That was probably all it was. Remus rubbed his eyes vigorously, trying to erase the images.

"Remus …"

He glanced at her. She was smiling, cocking her head in that adorable way.

Just let it go, he commanded himself. You shouldn't have seen any of that.

"Where did you go just now?" she asked, narrowing her eyes with a tight-lipped grin.

Remus closed his eyes and raised his eyebrows, sighing. "The usual. My Dark Place, as Sirius calls it."

"Come back." Lily ran her fingers through the hair at the back of his neck. "It's nicer here with me."

"Yes," he smiled. His voice cracked on the word and he cleared his throat. "Yes, it is," he said more distinctly. And he brought his lips to hers, closing his eyes and shutting out all thought.

A/N: Thanks for reading. I promise that Remus won't keep procrastinating about telling James. But things are about to get even more complicated. ;)

Anyone who reviews gets a nice picnic over a dead dragon with Remus. Chocolate is on him.