Chapter 41 Voice of Luke Skywalker
Dad has been gone four days already, and we haven't heard from him. That's so unlike him, and it worries me that something big is going on. Mom said he left to go attend to business- but even she doesn't know what that means. But since Dad is still very much a Sith, that could mean something really sinister and intense. Is that what they were fighting about? Does Mom know what he's doing, but is having serious issues with it? The big party Mom has worked so hard to prepare is coming up next week – will Dad be back for that? And if he is, will there still be all this tension between he and Mom? I hate that the very first birthday I get to share with my twin sister is being messed up with all this. It's not fair to either of us. It's really not fair to Mom, because even though I don't know what happened, I know that it's more than likely that Dad is the one to blame. I know that probably sounds biased- but experience has taught me well.
"Homework all done?" Mom asks me as she steps into my room. Leia and I look up at her at the same time.
"Almost," I say. "I'm just helping Leia with quantum mechanics."
Mom looks at Leia. "You're having trouble with that?" she asks.
Leia shrugs. "Not exactly," she replies. "Luke just explains it better than our instructor does."
Mom smiles. "Luke's inherited your father's gifts when it comes to mechanics," she says. "I've never been good at them either." She looks sad for a moment, and then covers up again. She's really good at that.
"When is Dad coming home?" Leia asks. "He is going to be here for our party, isn't he?" I've learned that my sister isn't afraid of speaking her mind.
"I'm sure he will be here for your party," Mom says. "But as to when he's returning, I know as much as you do I'm afraid."
I wish I had the words to say to my mother to reassure her that everything was going to be okay; but I'm just a kid after all, and I know next to nothing about relationships. Okay, I know nothing. But even in my ignorance, I know that things aren't right between my parents. And that is really scary.
"Don't stay up too late," Mom says as always.
"We won't," we reply, as always. Mom leaves us, and I turn to Leia.
"Do you think it's a good idea to remind Mom about this whole mess with Dad?" I ask her.
Leia frowns. "What? I just asked her a question."
"Yeah, but …she's really upset," I point out. Usually it's Leia telling me that I've put my foot in my mouth- it's weird to be on the other end of this conversation.
"I know she is," Leia replies, standing up. "But maybe if she'd talk about it, she'd feel better," she adds. "I was hoping that my question would make her open up a little."
"Well, it was worth a shot I guess," I reply. "But she obviously doesn't want to talk about it. I wonder if Dad would," I muse.
"What do you mean?" she asks.
"I mean, maybe we ought to contact him," I say. "Tell him how upset she is."
"Do you think it would make a difference?" she asks.
"It did before," I tell her. "And he did tell me to tell him when he was being a jack ass."
Leia smirks. "Thinks this qualifies?" she asks.
"I don't know the details, but I'd bet my last credit that it does," I tell her.
Leia nods. "Then maybe we ought to try and get to him," she says. "I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of the two of them fighting all the time."
"I'm totally tired of it," I assure her. "Let's do it now."
Voice of Darth Vader
It's late, and I'm almost ready to turn in. It's been a productive day. We've established a location for the new Death Star, and I have been in meetings with technologist and engineers for the past two days. I think they have a solid understanding of my designs, and know what I want. I have commanded schematics to be completed in a week, and I'm sure they know how particular I will be about them. This is my Death Star- my masterpiece. It will outshine Palpatine's monstrosity by light years.
As I enter the bedroom I hear the comm sound. I've been feeling somewhat guilty for not having contacted my family for the past few days- but the time has been going so quickly with all the meetings and preparation I simply haven't had the time. I sit down at the computer and open the channel, knowing who it is even before their faces materialize. I smile upon seeing my children, but sense that they are on a mission. I brace myself for their tactics.
"Hello," I say. "It's good to see you."
"It's good to see you too," Leia says. "Why haven't you contacted us?" she asks. She may look like Padmé, but she certainly inherited my forthrightness.
"I've been extremely busy," I tell them. "I'm sorry."
"When are you coming home?" Luke asks me next. "Our party is next week."
I nod. "I know," I reply. "I will be home before that, I promise you."
They seem to accept this, and say nothing for a moment, as though conferring silently. I'm sure that's exactly what they're doing.
"What happened between you and Mom?" Leia asks. "She's been upset since you left."
I frown, not appreciating their prying into this. "I don't think that's your business," I tell my daughter.
Leia's face flushes pink and she sits back in her chair. Luke, however, doesn't back down.
"You've upset her, Dad," he tells me. "And you once told me to tell you when you acting like a jerk," he reminds me.
I believe the term was jack ass, but that's neither here nor there.
"And you assume that because your mother is upset that it's my doing," I ask him.
Luke frowns, clearly unsure of himself at this point. "Well…we just assumed you and her had been fighting," he tells me. "Are we wrong?"
I can't deny this and shake my head. "No, you're not," I tell them.
"Then why haven't you been in contact to talk to her?" Leia asks. "She's really upset, Dad."
I nod, the guilt that I've been holding at bay for days now finally sinking in.
"What would you suggest?" I ask them.
"Come home," Luke says.
"Lots of flowers," Leia adds. I have to smile at her suggestion.
"Perhaps both?" I ask. They smile in response.
"I will be home as soon as humanly possible, okay?" I ask them.
"Good," Leia replies. "And the flowers?"
"I'll have them sent as soon as I can," I tell her. "Is that…satisfactory?"
"We'll see," Luke replies. "It all depends on Mom."
I nod, realizing that mere flowers will not be sufficient to assuage her hurt feelings. "Time for bed," I tell them. "Goodnight."
"Night Dad," they reply.
I end the transmission and reflect for a moment before standing up and heading to bed. Is my presence on board really required at this point? I've set the wheels in motion, after all. Perhaps my wife should take priority now, and perhaps I do need to make amends to her.
I turn around and leave the quarters, determined to make things right with the woman I love before I sleep this night.
Voice of Padmé Amidala
I have difficulty falling asleep, I have every night since Vader left. I've become so accustomed to his large, warm body in my bed every night that I'm restless when he's not there. The sleep I do get is restive, and I find myself waking up frequently. Broken sleep – I wonder if no sleep at all is preferable.
One of my pockets of sleep manages to reach a reasonably depth, for I find myself dreaming, and I know I only do that when I'm sleeping deeply. It's a very pleasant dream, and a very vivid one. I dream that my husband is in our bed, and he's nuzzling my neck softly as his hands slide down over my body. I'm sure I'm smiling in my sleep, for the dream is so real, almost as though…
I open my eyes and see at once that I am not , in fact, dreaming. Vader is at my side, watching me as I wake up. He smiles as I open my eyes.
"Hi," he says, running his hand up one of my bare arms. "Sorry if I woke you."
"No you're not," I reply with a smile.
He laughs softly. "Well, maybe not," he admits, his hand moving to the side of my face. "I hope you don't mind," he adds.
I shake my head. "Not at all," I tell him, noticing only now that there are bouquets of flowers everywhere in our bedroom. "I can't think of a nicer way to be awoken," I add.
"Good," he says, moving closer to me, and kissing me deeply. I wrap my arms around his neck as Vader slides into the bed. His mouth moves to my neck, his hands slipping under my thin nightgown. He knows just how to touch me to make me forget everything, all the problems, all the stress. When he's with me like this nothing else matters. It's so easy to ignore the problems between my husband and I when we're together this way – so tempting just to pretend they don't even exist….
Later, as I lay in my husband's arms, I examine his face as he sleeps. He's aged so little, it's almost unnoticeable. His hair is coming in as thick as ever, and is spiky on his head now. A lump comes to my throat as I watch him sleep, my love for him so profound it's almost frightening. I know that no matter what we are going through, no matter what the future holds, that will never change.
Voice of Leia Skywalker
I awaken early on the day of the big party, thoughts of it the first that enter my mind. I'm so excited. This is sure to be the very best celebration of my birthday I've ever had because it's the first one that I'll get to share with my twin brother and my real parents. I know that Luke is as excited as I am; I wonder if he's awoken early like me. I feel badly that his guardians declined our invitation to come – something about harvest time. Luke doesn't seem surprised by this, but I know he's disappointed. At least he'll have some of his friends from Tatooine here to celebrate. They arrived yesterday, and are a lot of fun. I'm sure Biggs Darklighter was flirting with me, even though Luke tells me I'm crazy.
Mom is eating breakfast when I get downstairs, and looks up at me with a smile.
"Good morning," she says, standing up and coming over to me. She comes over to me and gives me a big hug. "Happy birthday, sweetheart," she says. I hug her back, sensing how strong my mother's emotions are as she embraces me. It only takes me a moment to realize why that is: this is the first time she's ever got to wish me a happy birthday.
"Thanks Mom," I reply. "Is Luke up yet?" I ask her as she releases me.
"Not yet," she replies. "He was up pretty late catching up with his friends," she tells me.
I smile. "True," I reply as I help myself to some breakfast from the buffet. "What about Dad?"
"He's in the shower," Mom tells me.
I nod as I sit down to eat. I was so surprised to see Dad return so unexpectedly a few days ago. He and Mom have been getting along famously ever since. I'm so relieved that they are – I really hate it when they fight.
"When did Bail say he was arriving?" Mom asks me.
"Sometime this morning," I tell her. "He's already on the capital, so I'm sure he'll be here in good time."
Mom nods, but I can sense that she's tense. I know how my father feels about my adoptive father- he mistrusts him because he thinks he's a rebel. I'd hate to think what would happen if Dad ever learned the truth. I'm not sure that my love for the Viceroy would be enough to keep Dad from arresting him as a traitor.
"Happy birthday, princess," Dad says as he enters the room. I smile as he comes over to me and kisses my cheek.
"Thanks Dad," I reply. "I can't tell you what it means to celebrate my birthday with you and Luke," I tell my parents.
My mother smiles as she puts her hand over my father's.
"It means a great deal to us too, sweetheart," she tells me. "More than words can say."
It isn't long before the great hall of our home fills up with party guests. Everything looks so beautiful; Mom has spared no expense to transform our home into something absolutely magical. I know that this party means as much to her as it does to me and Luke.
"You look lovely," my adoptive father tells me as we share a moment together. "You're all grown up already."
I smile. "Not quite," I tell him. I can see my real father watching us from across the room, and I don't need to be force sensitive to know how he feels. But he's behaving himself, so I can't really complain.
"Luke is a wonderful young man," he tells me next. "I'm so happy that you two are finally together," he adds. I know he's sincere, which means so much since I know how hard it was for him to lose me.
"Yes he is," I agree. "It's like we've been together all along," I add.
He smiles as his eyes wander over to where Mom is talking to Aunt Sola. "I'm so happy for you mother, Leia," he says. "After everything that she's been through, she deserves to have her family all together."
I couldn't agree more.
Voice of Luke Skywalker
"Pretty sweet digs you got here, Skywalker," Tank tells me as we walk back into the house. "Pretty sweet."
I nod. "Yeah, I guess so," I reply. I'm actually a little self-conscious about all the luxury now that my old friends are here. Biggs was always well off, but my other friends, not even close.
"I still can't believe you're the son of the emperor," Fixer comments. "Talk about lucking out."
I shrug. "I don't really care that he's the emperor," I tell them. "I'm just happy to be with my parents and my sister."
"Come on, Luke," Deak says. "You can't tell us you're not enjoying all this," he asks, gesturing to the opulence of the room we're standing in.
They don't get it- they don't see that the money means nothing to me. It's my family that means the most to me.
"So tell me about the Academy," I ask them, wanting to change the subject. Biggs and Tank are on another campus than the one I was at so briefly, and came to the party in their cadet uniforms. No doubt they're trying to impress my father. I don't think he's noticed.
"You know, same old crap," Biggs shrugs, his eyes scanning the room. I know he's looking for Leia. He made it pretty obvious that he likes her last night.
"Forget it, Biggs," I tell him. "She's not interested."
He turns and looks at me quickly. "Who? What are you talking about?"
I roll my eyes. "My sister," I say. "You're pretty obvious."
He frowns and looks away, embarrassed. I grin. Boy, have I missed these guys.
"Come on," I say to my buddies. "We've got a workshop that you guys have got to see."
Voice of Darth Vader
I'm happy to see Luke leading his friends away from the party. I didn't like the way that Darklighter boy was looking at Leia. I'll be glad to see the lot of them gone. Luke doesn't need those low class boys as friends. I know the type well—Anchorhead trash, the lot of them. He's better than them- I just wish he'd realize that and break contact with them.
"Things are going well, don't you think?" Padmé asks, looking up at me with a smile.
I nod. "I suppose so," I agree.
"Something wrong?" she asks.
I look down at her. "What makes you think something's wrong?" I ask.
"Well, because you haven't exactly been the most sociable person in the room," I tell her.
I frown. "You know I hate parties," I tell her.
"I know you do," she replies. "But would it kill you to say hello to our guests?"
"I said hello," I protest.
"Not to Bail Organa you haven't," she points out.
I frown. "I've allowed him to enter my home," I tell her. "That's about all I can manage."
"Oh come on," she says, linking her arm through mine. "It would mean so much to Leia if you could at least say hello to him. Come on," she says, tugging on my arm.
I sigh, annoyed that she is being so tenacious. I know my wife well, and know that she won't let up until I give in to her demands. I suppose saying hello won't be terribly painful.
"Very well," I say. "Hello, and that's it. Don't expect me to make idle chit chat with the man."
She smiles triumphantly and leads me across the room to where Organa is talking to Leia. I must think of my daughter at this point, and not the intense hatred I have for the man she once called Father, a man I know is involved in the Rebellion.
Leia smiles as she sees her mother and I draw near, and Organa turns to look at me. I can sense his hatred for me, and, what's more, his apprehension.
"Hello Bail," Padmé says, ever the diplomat. "Thank you so much for coming."
Organa smiles at my wife. "I wouldn't miss it for anything," he tells her, glancing at me and then looking back at Padmé.
"It means so much to Leia," Padmé says, squeezing my arm, telling me silently to say something.
"Yes, it means a lot to her," I add emotionlessly.
Bail looks at me. "Well I love Leia very much," he tells me. "There's nothing I wouldn't do for her."
"Nor I," I tell him, sensing a challenge. "My family is more important to me than anything," I add.
Organa smiles, but I can sense his contempt behind it. "Well you have a remarkable family," he tells me. "You should be very appreciative of them."
I frown, ever so slightly. "I am," I assure him. "Appreciative and proud," I add.
Organa nods, and looks at Padmé. "As indeed you should be," he says. "Padmé did a remarkable job of running things when you were recovering from your surgery."
I can sense Padmé's anxiety level skyrocket at this comment, and I have to wonder why.
"She did," I agree.
"And she had a lot to contend with too," he adds. The expression on his face after uttering this words tells me he regrets them at once.
"What do you mean?" I ask, sensing Padmé's anxiety rise another notch. Organa makes no reply, and simply looks like a man who's trying very hard to hide something.
"What is he talking about?" I ask my wife, looking down at her.
Padmé says nothing for a moment, and looks at Organa and then up at me. "Ani, I…"
"What is going on?" I demand, starting to grow angry. "What is he talking about, Padmé?" I ask her again. "Tell me!"
"Anakin, please lower your voice," Padmé says, looking around. "People are starting to stare."
"I don't give a damn if people are starting to stare," I retort. "I want to know what you're hiding," I tell her, looking back at Organa. "What he's hiding," I add.
"Let's go another room to talk about this," Padmé suggests finally.
"Fine," I say, heading to the office, Padmé following. I can feel the anger inside of me growing, despite my efforts to keep it at bay. The thought that my wife is somehow involved with Organa in something is simply too much to bear, and I won't rest until I know what it is.
Voice of Padmé Amidala
I'm nauseous at the thought of the conversation I have to have with Vader now- a conversation I'd hope would never happen. But it's unavoidable now. I know how intuitive my husband is, how skilled he is at reading the thoughts of others. If he were to find out that Bail is indeed a leader in the Rebel Alliance, Vader would not hesitate to arrest him as a traitor. He wouldn't care that doing so would break Leia's heart. I have to make sure that doesn't happen, even if it means bringing Vader's anger down on myself.
I close the door behind me once we reach the office and turn to my husband. He is leaning against the edge of his desk, his arms folded tightly over his chest. I swallow hard, and walk into the office.
"What is going on?" he asks simply. "What are you hiding from me?"
"Anakin, please calm down," I tell him. "You're getting worked up for something that is in the past."
"What difference does that make?" he retorts. "You're clearly covering up for something, and judging by the fear in your eyes, it's something big."
I frown. "I am not afraid of you," I tell him.
He stands up. "I didn't say that," he retorts. "But clearly you're afraid of something. What is it? Or can I guess?"
I say nothing, not even knowing how to respond at this point, and he goes on.
"You're covering for Organa, aren't you?" he asks, watching me closely. "The fact that he's involved with the Rebellion."
"No, that's not what I'm covering," I tell him, deciding I need to steer his thinking away from the Rebellion completely. "Bail has done nothing wrong," I assure him. "If you're going to be angry at someone, be angry at me."
He frowns, and I can tell he doesn't like me defending Bail. "Why? What have you done?" he asks.
I look away for a moment, trying to word what I need to tell him in the manner that will cause the least amount of damage. But there doesn't seem to be a away- and so I just tell him.
"I asked Bail for advice," I admit finally. "When you were in stasis."
His frown deepens. "Advice about what?" he asks.
"The Death Star," I tell him. "When I was trying to decide about dismantling it, I asked him for advice."
Vader says nothing in reasons for a moment, and turns away from me. His silence at this point is ominous. "You….told him about the Death Star?" he asks, not looking at me. "Or perhaps he already knew about it?" he adds.
"He knew nothing about it," I lie. "But when I explained the situation, he…"
Vader turns back to me, and I step back when I see that his eyes are yellow. "You explained it to him?" he asks me, his voice full of anger. "You told a known rebel sympathizer, probably even leader, about the Empire's greatest weapon?"
"Anakin please," I say, growing fearful. "The Death Star was rubble, it was…"
"And he was more than pleased to advise you to destroy it utterly," he suggests.
"Your own men said the same," I remind him. "And…"
"You collaborated with my enemy!" he accuses me angrily. "You…you betrayed me!"
His words send a shiver of terror through me, and I begin to have flashbacks of Mustafar. Those were the words he used before he attacked me.
"How can you say that?" I cry. "I was trying to do the right thing! I…"
"You gave sensitive military information to an enemy of the Empire!" he shouts. "How is that not betrayal?"
"I would never betray you!" I cry, fighting to hold back my hysteria. "I thought you'd learned that after what happened on Mustafar!"
His eyes narrow, still as yellow as sulphur, and he says nothing for a moment. I know he hates to be reminded of that day.
"The two incidents are unrelated," he says finally. He turns away from me. "I'm leaving," he says. "I don't want to do something I'll regret," he adds, and heads to the passageway behind the fireplace that leads to the lower level. I watch him go, his words leaving me chilled and shaken. I sit down in the large leather chair behind me, trembling with emotion. Unable to hold back my emotions any longer, I drop my face into my hands and cry.