Ch 38 – The Good and the Bad
The sound of a pager beeping screeched through their bedroom way too early by any normal person's standards. But surgeons aren't normal people. Callie, however, loved sleeping and absolutely hated it when her pager interrupted it. She covered her head with her pillow, hoping that Arizona would get up and make the horrible beeping stop.
She knew Callie wouldn't be the one to get out of bed and answer the pager, so she rolled out of bed muttering, "please don't be mine, please don't be mine," repeatedly under her breath.
She stumbled over the rug at the end of their bed and caught herself on the dresser where they kept their pagers. She picked up the beeping menace with one eye half open and laughed triumphantly when it was Callie's, not her own. She cleared the page and started back towards the bed when the second pager started screaming as well. She groaned as she made her way back to the dresser and cleared her own page. She trudged over to Callie's side of the bed and grabbed her arm and shook her. "Come on, we're being paged in to the hospital."
"I don't wanna," Callie whined as she pulled the sheets tighter against her.
Arizona leaned down and kissed Callie on the cheek. "Come on pretty lady, we have to go save lives." Callie groaned in response, but threw the sheets to the side and swung her legs off to the side of the bed. Arizona pulled her up and aimed her towards the bathroom, then set off to face the next challenge: Sofia.
It was only on mornings like this where they were both paged in early, forcing them to wake their baby girl up in the middle of the night and take her to the hospital with them, that Arizona felt guilty about being a surgeon. The little girl was definitely her mother's daughter; she hated being woken up from her sleep. She grumbled and fought Arizona for nearly ten minutes before Callie walked in, fully clothed and ready to go.
"Arizona, what are you doing? We have to leave. We were paged nearly twenty minutes ago!"
Arizona looked up dumbfounded. Sofia was clawing at her neck and screaming into her ear, protesting every move she tried to make. She took a deep breath and pulled Sofia up from her crib and handed her to Callie. "Fine. You take our daughter. I'll be ready to go in just a minute." She stormed out of Sofia's nursery and into their bathroom. She grabbed her tooth brush and brushed her teeth while she threw on the first pair of clothes she could find and pulled her hair into a sloppy ponytail. She could still hear Sofia crying from the living room and Callie opening and closing the cabinets in the kitchen much louder than necessary.
She raced towards the door, throwing her jacket on and grabbing her bag. She opened the door and spun around to face Callie who was struggling with keeping Sofia steady. She was pulling at everything she could grab on to, her hair, her jacket, her earrings, anything.
Callie huffed in frustration. "Sofia, don't grab Mami. I know you want to go back to bed. SOFIA!" She shouted as the little girl yanked on her hair, pulling out a few strands. She glared at the little girl, trying to remain calm. Sofia stared back up at her defiantly then let out another blood curdling scream. "Arizona, I need you to take her."
The blonde rolled her eyes and crossed the room and took Sofia from Callie's arms. "Now come on, we're late."
Callie flared her nostrils and grabbed her bag and Sofia's bag for day care. "Yeah, I know we're late, Arizona," she spat.
They rushed Sofia up to day care as soon as they got to the hospital without saying a word to each other. The little girl had finally calmed down just in time to hand her off to the day care worker, who happily put her down to go back to sleep in their crib room.
They ran into the pit just as Hunt finished giving the rundown of what had happened. He glared at Callie and Arizona, obviously upset they were showing up nearly fifteen minutes after everyone else had arrived. Callie grabbed Bailey's elbow as she started to walk away from them. "Bailey! What happened? Why are we here?"
Bailey looked both Callie and Arizona up and down and raised her eyebrow. "Well if you had been here when you were paged, you'd know!"
Callie's mouth opened in a gasp and her eyes widened. She cocked her hip and went to respond, but Arizona cut her off. "Yeah, I know, we're late. But could you please just tell us what's going on?"
Bailey thought for a minute then sighed in surrender. "There was a sinkhole that opened up on the highway that a tanker fell in to and exploded. Lots of broken bones, burns, and families who were on the road for spring break. We've got six buses three minutes out. Kepner's running the pit." The short woman huffed and turned on her heel to head towards the doors, waiting for the first arrival.
They both walked over to the prep station to grab gowns and gloves. "If someone hadn't wasted ten minutes trying to coax a 13 month old awake, we could have heard that straight from Hunt and he wouldn't be riding our ass all day, which I'm sure he'll be doing now…"
Arizona snapped her second glove into place and turned to Callie. "Not now, Callie," she said shortly then turned and marched towards the door anxiously waiting for when she would be needed.
"DAMN IT!" Callie slammed the door to her office and shrunk to the floor. She pulled her legs in and laid her head on her knees as she reached up and yanked her scrub cap off and gripped it along with the fabric of her pants. Her first surgery was supposed to just be a basic femur repair, which escalated quickly into a full leg amputation but things just kept going wrong and then his heart failed, but Teddy was in surgery already and Yang was assisting on one of Arizona's surgeries leaving no one to help. She tried everything she could, but she lost her first patient of the day.
A soft knock came at the door and Mark's voice rang through the solid wood. "Callie? Hunt's trying to find you."
She sniffed and wiped her face of the tears she didn't even feel fall. She took a deep breath and stood up, quickly fixing the wrinkles on her clothes. She secured her scrub cap again and opened the door. "Okay, where to next?"
Mark took in the sight of his best friend and winced. "If you need a minute," he offered.
"No, I'm fine, Mark. Who needs me?" She cleared her throat and stepped forward, closing the door behind her.
"I don't get it. My work was perfect! There was no reason my repair should have failed like that…" Cristina sank down onto the floor outside of OR 3 and pulled her scrub cap off. She buried her head into her hands and pulled at her hair. "I just don't get it."
Arizona stood next to her, running through the surgery again in her head. "I want a full report on exactly what went on in there, Yang."
Cristina looked up suddenly. "I just told you, I have no idea what—"
"Well, figure it out." Arizona shoved off of the wall and stormed off towards the doors. "I have to go tell her parents they just lost their little girl."
Callie's next surgery went according to plan; a small victory for the ortho surgeon, even though she found herself doubting every cut she made. She hated losing patients, especially when she didn't have time to fully process through everything that happened to find exactly where she had made a mistake. If she couldn't pin point exactly what she did wrong, she couldn't stop herself from making that mistake again and it led to her questioning every move she made during the next surgery.
She had twenty minutes before her next surgery and she took the time to sit in her office quietly by herself downing a latte. She thought to buy one for Arizona as well, but she was still in her second surgery. Honestly, it was probably better that she was busy. She knew she shouldn't blame Arizona for being late that morning, but everything just seemed to be going so wrong today and it all started with her not being able to just wake Sofia up and get her ready. She dropped her head into her hands and sighed. She couldn't decide between wanting to wake up and start this day all over again so she could fix everything or just hiding away and skipping the rest of the day entirely.
"Great work in there, Karev," Arizona said with a smile as she scrubbed out of her second surgery.
Alex looked over his shoulder with a lopsided grin that never failed to remind her of Tim. "Thanks, boss," he said simply. "And thanks for letting me scrub in with you, that was an awesome surgery."
Arizona dried her hands off and threw the paper towel into the trash. "You earned it. And, I think you've earned the right to go tell his parents the good news."
Alex's face lit up instantly. "Really?"
Arizona nodded and smiled. "Yes, really. Now, go on. I'll meet you up in recovery."
Alex smiled and left the scrub room with his shoulders held high. It was good for him to finally get some recognition, she thought. He always seemed to be at the bottom of the pile and she never could figure out why. He acted tough, but he was an amazing surgeon and he really was great with the kids. She let out a huge sigh and looked down at her watch. It was already almost noon and she knew she had more surgeries lined up that afternoon. She headed towards the coffee cart and then to her office to start the paperwork on the surgery from that morning.
Callie lost another patient that afternoon. He was young, too. He had been in surgery all morning with Bailey and Teddy. He was stable when she walked in the room, but it wasn't long before he started crashing for what she was told was the third time. She knew that this case was going to be difficult; he had multiple internal injuries, including a punctured lung, and countless broken bones. But knowing that didn't make losing him any easier. Bailey called it, and Teddy volunteered to talk to his fiancée, but Callie still felt the loss just as hard as her first surgery.
"Today sucks," she mumbled to Mark as they sat trying to eat before they were called in to their final surgeries of the day.
He nodded and took a small bite of his apple. "Tell me about it."
"Have you seen Dr. Altman?" Cristina asked anxiously.
Callie creased her eyebrows in confusion. "No, why?"
Cristina sighed dramatically. "Your girlfriend or fiancee or whatever told me to put together a report of why we lost our patient this morning, but I can't figure out what I did wrong, and she won't let it go. So I really need to talk to Altman."
That didn't sound like something Arizona would do… She always took responsibility for losing a patient. She wondered if maybe she should go find her to make sure everything was okay, but she really wasn't sure that Arizona would want to see her. If she did, she would have found her, right? "Did you check PT?"
"No. Of course I didn't. Why would she be in PT?" Yang crossed her arms defiantly.
"Because Tim's down there." When Cristina's confused expression didn't change she just waved it off. "Never mind, just go check down there. If she's not there then give her an hour and then check her office."
Cristina rolled her eyes then shoved away from the table and stormed out of the lunch room.
"That woman is way too wound up." Mark stated simply.
"Yeah, well, she doesn't like messing up. Especially when she doesn't know what she did wrong." Callie sat her fork down and pushed away from the table. "I'm not hungry. I'll see you later, Mark."
"Okaayyy…" he hesitated, thinking of whether he should ask what was wrong or not. Before he could make up his mind, the Latina was out the door.
Arizona sat in her office, tears streaming down her face. She had another surgery in an hour with one of her favorite patients. She had to pull herself together before she went in there or she was going to make stupid mistakes. She put aside the paperwork and forced the surgery from that morning out of her mind. She finished off her box of tissues and decided finally that she needed to go for a walk.
Callie wandered around the hospital, wanting nothing more than to go fall into Arizona's arms and empty everything racing through her mind into her. But she knew Arizona wouldn't want to see her, and she honestly couldn't blame her. Before she knew she had decided to go there, she found herself at the daycare, greeting the overly cheery worker who always signed her in. She grabbed the clipboard and was writing her name when she saw Arizona's scrawled signature on the line above hers. She looked up and saw Sofia sitting happily in Arizona's lap on the floor, listening to her Mama reading a book to her. She finished signing in and walked tentatively up to Arizona's side.
Sofia looked up and smiled. "Mami!"
Arizona looked up and smiled weakly. "Hey," she said, almost at a whisper.
Callie hesitated. "Hey. Do you mind if I sit with you guys for a minute?"
Arizona was still upset that Callie had been so quick to blame everything on her that morning, but the relief of seeing her overwhelmed her. She really needed to just be around her for just a little while. "Of course not. Here," she scooted closer to the wall, opening a space for her to sit on the floor next to them. "We were just getting to the good part," she said with a wink.
Sofia patted the page of the book, demanding Arizona to keep reading. She looked to Callie automatically, like she always did just to see if she thought it was funny too, and smiled when Callie's met hers instinctually as well.
Callie's last surgery went flawlessly, and for the first time that day, she felt accomplished. She sat down in her office and pulled out the paperwork she had to complete for the patient she had lost that morning. She sifted through the pages and sighed as she pulled out her phone to text Arizona.
Hey, I'm going to be late tonight. I have a lot of paperwork from today.
She sat her phone down and started filling out the first form. Not even a minute later, her phone buzzed with a new text.
I do too. I'll let you know when I'm ready to head home.
Arizona sat, staring at her phone. She had no idea that Callie had lost a patient today... how did she miss that? She silently cursed herself for not being there for her, but at the same time cursed Callie for not being there for her when she needed her. She wished so much that she could just melt into Callie's arms and let the world's problems drift around them, and she was sure that Callie was thinking the exact same thing, but life wasn't that easy sometimes.
The only consolation for having such a long day was that they both were given the following day off. With that in mind, they trudged up the stairs to their apartment close to 20 hours after they had been pulled from their bed that morning.
Callie sat with Sofia on the floor of their living room, enjoying the constant babble running through the little girl's lips. Arizona sat down on the couch next to them, mindlessly playing with the watch on her wrist. "We should talk about this morning."
Callie looked up with a pained expression. "You're right. I'm sorry… It was wrong of me to blame you for making us late. I didn't mean it, though. I know you were trying your best to get us out the door."
Arizona nodded and stared at the ground. "I know you didn't mean it, but thank you for apologizing."
Callie watched Arizona fidgeting nervously. Arguing was new territory for them, and she couldn't say she liked it very much. "I heard you really laid into Yang this morning."
Arizona looked up suddenly. "How did you know that?"
"She came looking for Teddy while I was eating with Mark. Which, by the way, I really missed my lunch buddy today. Mark wouldn't eat my carrots."
Arizona laughed and plopped down on the ground next to Callie and Sofia. "I missed you today, too." She laid her head on Callie's shoulder, happy to finally be able to have some sort of physical contact with her. "But yeah, I may have blamed the patient we lost on her…"
"Really?" Callie asked softly.
"Really. She's tough, though. She can take it. And her report was amazing. She went back through and completely revised how she's going to approach the repair in the future. It's pretty incredible, actually. I'm going to recommend her to write a formal paper on it and get it published."
Callie chuckled. "Only Cristina would take something like losing a patient and turn it into some revolutionary new procedure."
Arizona laughed and sat up. "Exactly. In a way, I helped her."
Callie narrowed her eyes and watched as a mischievous grin pulled at Arizona's lips. She leaned forward and brushed their lips together in a quick kiss. "I'm gonna go call Aria to talk about my parents coming out next week."
Callie hated fighting with Arizona. It completely drained her, and she had had a horrible day on top of it. She debated even calling her sister, thinking that if the day continued the way it had been, this wasn't going to go well. She sat playing with her phone, trying to decide if her sister would even be awake at this hour when she heard Arizona's voice calling for her.
"CALLIE! CALLIE COME HERE! QUICK!"
Callie shot up and ran to the living room, not sure if it was excitement or fear in Arizona's voice. She rounded the corner just as Sofia let go of the coffee table with a determined look on her face.
Arizona was kneeled a few feet away with her hands outstretched. "Come on, baby girl, come to Mama!"
Sofia scrunched her face in concentration and landed a foot onto the soft rug. Callie rushed over to Arizona's side. "Come on, Sofia, you can do it!" She said excitedly.
She leaned to one side, almost falling but landed her other foot just in front of the other. Both Callie and Arizona squealed and continued to encourage her. She wobbled again, putting the other foot in front of the other and then toppled forward. Arizona caught her and instantly lifted her high into the air. "You did it, baby girl! You got me!" Sofia squealed in delight and lifted her hand to her mouth, chewing on her fingers.
Callie placed one hand on Arizona's back and reached for Sofia with the other. "Sofia! Baby! You did it!"
Arizona brought her in for a strong hug and Callie wrapped her arm around them both then started showering Sofia with kisses.
Arizona and Callie looked to each other simultaneously with matching wide smiles and tears welling behind their eyes. They leaned in for a quick kiss then set Sofia down to try again, this time with Callie recording it on her phone.
As she watched Sofia wobble her way over to Arizona a second time, she couldn't stop her heart from completely exploding with love. Even on such a completely horrible day, she couldn't help but feel just incredibly, insanely blessed to have such an amazing woman in her life who loved her and their daughter so much. Arizona glanced over her shoulder as if she could hear her thoughts and smiled with that look in her eye that spoke more than words could ever express. It was a silent 'I love you' that always made her heart flutter and her stomach spin. Despite everything, Arizona loved her and their baby girl was healthy, strong, and taking her first steps and that made today a very, very good day.
AN: The next chapter, Callie's parents arrive! Are you ready?
It will probably be mid next week before the next chapter is posted… I turn 21 on Thursday so not much writing will be going on this weekend :P
Thank you again so much for every review, follow, and favorite! You guys are absolutely incredible!