Disclaimer: I don't own the Mass Effect universe or Bioware.
«-4.01: The Citadel: Upper Wards: Med Clinic»
«or Spacer»
"All right, Commander Shepard," Dr. Michel said pleasantly. "All you need to do is lay on that table and stay still for a few minutes. It's as simple as that!"
"Sure, whatever," Shepard grumbled.
"Oh, stop complaining," Ashley scolded.
"Yes, mother," Shepard resigned. "Where's the table."
Dr. Michel motioned for him to follow her and they both proceeded to the scanning table, where the doctor's turian assistant waited patiently for them both. Shepard stripped down to his underwear (bringing a small redness to Ashley's cheeks) and propped himself down on the table. A large metal contraption slid over him and covered him from his waist up.
"Now, this will take a few minutes, Commander," Michel told him. "In the meantime, you can talk but you cannot move or we will have to start the whole procedure over again."
"Roger that," Shepard called from within the contraption.
"Should I leave?" Ashley asked.
"You don't have to," the turian assistant told her. "You can stay in the same room as the Commander if you wish. Just make sure not to move him."
The doctors left the room and soon, a bright light erupted from the contraption and a metallic hum rose and nearly filled the room. Soon, Shepard was giggling.
"What?" Ashley asked.
"You have no idea how awesome this is," Shepard laughed.
"What, the lights?" Ashley asked, quizzically.
"Yup!" Shepard laughed again.
"What's it like?" Ashley asked.
"Like I'm completely blazed," Shepard joked. Ashley laughed along with him. "Well, it's certainly nice to hear you laugh again. You've been so moody lately."
"Yeah," Ashley smiled. "Sorry. I've just had a lot on my mind."
"And you need to fix it on your own," Shepard said. "You told me. Good luck with that."
"Thanks," Ashley replied. It felt good to have a smile on her face, she admitted. However, she couldn't deny that she needed to think about how she would help Samesh. There were no real ways to get around an order from an Alliance major. Especially one like Ellison. She didn't really know where to start.
"What do you think of your mother?" Ashley asked on a whim.
"You mean Hannah?" Shepard asked. He was quiet for a moment. "She's my stepmother."
"I know that," Ashley stated. "But do you like her?"
Shepard was quiet for a while.
"I guess so, though I'm not entirely sure," Shepard said. "She's not my real mother but she's the closest thing to one that I've ever had."
"So your relationship was always a good one?" Ashley asked, to which Shepard laughed.
"No!" Shepard exclaimed. "Don't you know me?"
"So what happened?" Ashley asked.
"Oh, I wanted absolutely nothing to do with her," Shepard stated. "I found her constant attempts to be kind annoying."
"Why?" Ashley asked.
"Because I didn't trust anyone," Shepard said.
"Why not?" Ashley asked. Shepard was silent.
"I'll tell you later," Shepard stated flatly. "But basically, I wanted nothing to do with anyone else."
"I feel another story coming along," Ashley said delightfully.
"I guess so," Shepard said. "I'm really bored right now and these hypnotizing lights aren't helping at all. So, what do you want to know?"
"Tell me about when you were adopted," Ashley said, getting herself comfortable.
"Okay, okay, let's see," Shepard muttered, gathering his thoughts. "After I was picked up on Mindoir, I was sent to the adoption board. They didn't really know what to make of me. I was a young boy of around 13 without any signs of trauma. So they took me from one psychologist to another, all of them coming up with different answers about me. It wasn't until Hannah suggested they stop throwing me around and actually give me over to be raised in a family. Hannah volunteered herself.
Eventually, I was sent to live on Arcturus Station and Hannah was sent on family leave. The Alliance thought this counted as maternity leave since she didn't have a husband or family to take care of me and I was considered a minor. Anyhoo, I lived in the living quarters of the station and I was originally sent to the middle school. However, I was pretty bored with that."
"You didn't like it?" Ashley asked.
"No, I didn't," Shepard responded. "But apparently I was smarter than most everyone there so they kept bumping me up a grade until I was in high school."
"Arrogant prick," Ashley said, jokingly.
"Hey, I've gotta be proud of my accomplishments," Shepard said jokingly. "Well, anyways…things didn't really…go well from there."
Ashley heard a tone of what sounded like remorse. Or maybe he was just reminiscing on past times.
/
2168
…Fifteen Years Ago…
/
Playing playlist entitled "John's Oldies"…
Selecting random track…
Track #364: "Nemo" by "Nightwish" from "Once (2004)"
"This is me for forever,
One of the lost ones,
The one without a name,
Without an honest heart as compass,
This is me for forever,
One without a name,
These lines the last endeavor,
To find the missing lifeline,
Oh how I wish,
For soothing rain,
All I wish is to dream again,
My loving heart,
Lost in the dark,
For hope I'd give my everything,
My flower, withered between,
The pages 2 and 3,
The once and forever bloom gone with my sins,
Walk the dark path,
Sleep with angels,
Call the past for help,
Touch me with your love,
And reveal to me my true name,
Oh how I wish,
For soothing rain,
All I wish is to dream again,
My loving heart,
Lost in the dark,
For hope I'd give my everything,
Oh how I wish,
For soothing rain,
Oh how I wish to dream again,
Once and for all,
And all for once,
Nemo my name forevermore,
Nemo sailing home,
Nemo letting go,
Oh how I wish,
For soothing rain,
All I wish is to dream again,
My loving heart,
Lost in the dark,
For hope I'd give my everything,
Oh how I wish,
For soothing rain,
Oh how I wish to dream again,
Once and for all,
And all for once,
Nemo my name forevermore."
John Shepard, age 14, sat at a distant table in the corner, away from everyone else, his long hair covering his eyes. They ignored him and he ignored them. It was a perfect system. Besides, he wouldn't stay for long. Eventually, they would grow tired of him and he would be tossed aside for some other pathetic would-be parent to try their hand at raising a child. Why didn't they just leave him alone?
Listening to his music, John slowly ate his sandwich made by the woman who was at the current time his parent. It was rather tasty, John admitted. Filling. But John didn't let this put his guard down. He knew she was just like the rest of them. Feigning kindness while they stab you in the back. All of them were like that.
Still, John played along. He pretended to be the victim to satisfy them. Pretended that he was making progress to make them happy. One thing he learned is that when people think you're happy, they left you alone. In truth, there was nothing to progress in his life. He had a perfect system. Do anything to keep them away. If they got to close, he'll do whatever was necessary to drive them away.
"Hey, freak," a voice called to him. John looked up and saw another annoyance. A group of three rather large and muscular upperclassmen stood in front of him, with their girls trailing behind them. He wondered if there was any actual love in those relationships. John knew them as being the members of the football team and their physique showed it, though it didn't impress John in the slightest. He also knew why they were angry at him.
"Hey, freak! I'm talking to you!" yelled the big one. John thought he looked like a monkey of sorts.
"I heard you the first time," John muttered dully, bored already. "What do you want?"
"Don't waste your time, man. He won't do it," said Monkey's friend, whom John called Pinhead. He had a lot of piercings.
"Yeah, honey!" said Monkey's girl-toy. "Let's go to the Observation deck! We could watch the stars!"
"Shut up!" exclaimed Monkey. The behemoth from the football team grabbed a seat and sat uncomfortably close to John. John merely took another bite from his sandwich. Tasty.
"Can I help you with something?" John asked pleasantly.
"I just need help understanding something," Monkey said, smiling maliciously. "You are this…'whiz kid,' right? The one who knows all the answers despite being…what are you, 10?"
"14," John corrected, taking another bite of his sandwich.
"14, right," Monkey said. Pinhead decided to join in on the fun and slid another chair to John's other side, smiling. Their third companion, whom John decided to call Blubber because it was amusing, sat down next to Pinhead.
"Pretty young kid, considering you're a freshman," Pinhead commented.
"Amazing, when you think about it," Monkey said. "Skipped a bunch of grades to get here."
"Must be kind of scary, being where the big kids are," Pinhead added.
"Yeah, real scary!" Blubber snickered. John ignored them as he took another bite of his sandwich. What kind of jelly was in it?
"But hey!" Monkey said. "We're nice guys! And we're always trying to look out for the smaller people! If you want, we can protect from those other jerks out there."
Was it grape jelly? John couldn't be sure. But he was sure that the three stooges were coming around to the point of their little chat with him. He could hardly wait to see what stupid thing they wanted him to do for them.
"But we can't really do it for free, you know," Monkey continued. "We want something from you. You know its…um, what is it?"
"Quid Pro Quo," John told him.
"Yeah, that thing," Monkey said. "So here's what we want from you. We can protect you from the jerks out there, but we want you to do a very simple thing. You see, being part of the football team, we can't really be bothered to do all the homework that the teachers pile on us. So we just want you to lighten the load on us. You do the homework we give you for us and we'll be your best friends! What do you say?"
"No," John said simply, taking a final bite from his sandwich. He reached over for his juice that Hannah had packed for him but Pinhead held it away from him. John looked at the stooges. They did not look happy.
"Maybe you didn't hear me correctly, retard," Monkey leaned in closer. John could smell his aftershave. "You do our homework, and there won't be any problems between us."
"There never were any problems between us," John noted. "In fact, I'm pretty sure this is the first time we've ever even exchanged words. And to be honest, I hope this is the last time I have to talk to someone like you."
"Care to repeat that?" Pinhead said threateningly.
"Honey, just leave him alone! He obviously doesn't want to help!" Monkey's play-toy pleaded. Monkey didn't listen, though. He was furious now.
"And why, exactly, don't you want to talk to someone like me?" he asked angrily.
"Because you're a incompetent air-head, incapable of doing anything on your own," John said simply. "You're a little baby who's afraid of doing a little work to actually earn a good grade in this world. Your self-esteem is so low that you don't think you're worth anything in this godforsaken universe. You beat the ones who're weaker than you because they remind them of you too much. You have a girlfriend who you don't even truly like because she's undoubtedly the hottest person in the classroom, as well as the easiest. In other words, an insect like you makes me sick and disgusted. Does that answer your question?"
Monkey quivered for a moment, the words striking too close to home. Then his hesitance turned to anger as he grabbed John's shirt and pulled him in closer.
"Listen, you little shit," Monkey whispered. "You either do what we ask you to or we'll make sure your years here are a living hell." John merely narrowed his eyes.
"Please let go of me," John asked politely for the first time.
"Or what?" Monkey asked, smiling. John returned the smile.
"Let go of me," John said with more force the second time.
"Dude, let's not waste our time. The teacher's watching," Pinhead said.
"Shut up!" Monkey exclaimed. "I don't care if they see! I need to teach this bastard a lesson in manners!"
"Let. Go." The third and final time. His brilliant blue eyes twinkled behind his black hair.
"What are you going to do about it, shrimp?" Monkey asked. "I'm bigger than you."
The one thing John had learned over the years was that no matter how big someone was they could still be brought down to your level. If you hit a certain spot, even a giant can come tumbling down. So, John grabbed the Monkey's wrist and twisted. With his other arm, John punched his adversary's elbow. It snapped like a twig.
That was when several things happened at once. One of the playthings started screaming at the sight of the protruding bone, though it wasn't nearly as loud as Monkey's scream. Pinhead and Blubber were both too shocked and stunned to make a move as John slammed his opponent's head onto the table, knocking him out and cutting off his scream short. It was at that time that Pinhead and Blubber began to act.
However, there were other members of the football team that were eating lunch that day. And, despite knowing how much of a jerk Monkey was, he was still part of the team. Some meant to end the fight while others meant to bring harm to John. Either way, John was ready for them.
Perfectly ready to die.
\::/::\::/::\::/
"Mrs. Shepard-" the bald principal began.
"Just Miss, please," Hannah corrected, tossing her shoulder length auburn hair.
"Miss Shepard, then," the principal continued. "There was an incident today with your son, John. It seemed that a couple of members from the football team began picking on him during lunch. It escalated and soon became a full-on fist fight between them."
"Is he hurt?" Hannah asked.
"No, in fact what's remarkable is that he escaped with only some bruises and cuts," the principal responded. "However, it was the other students who were severely injured."
"What happened?" Hannah asked.
"The original three suffered from broken arms, legs and fingers," the principal said. "However, some of the others saw the fight being started and attempted to quell the fight, or at least, that's what they said they were trying to do. For all we know, some might have tried to fight John to defend their teammates, we may never know."
"Why don't you tell me what really has you worried, sir," Hannah said calmly. The principal sighed.
"A total of 15 students and three teachers became involved in the fight when it broke out," he said bluntly. "All of them suffered from injuries ranging from broken fingers to severe injuries to the…genital area. A few had to be sent to hospital."
"And John?" Hannah asked, feeling she had finally come to the main point of the man's fear.
"He was sitting calmly at a table and finishing his juice and lunch when they found him," the principal admitted.
Hannah didn't remember what happened during the rest of the meeting. She was sure he recommended John see a psychologist. Hannah knew it wouldn't work without John cooperating and there was no chance of that. The boy was scared and untrusting of everyone. He may never admit it but Hannah knew it was true. So many people hurt him during his life that he backed away from everyone. At least, that's what Hannah assumed.
Hannah drove John home in a hover car of sorts. Powered by electricity running through element zero, the mass effect field generated by it allowed it to fly through the highways with relative ease, but she didn't really think about this. She was trying to think of what to say to John, who sat quietly sitting beside her, looking out the window.
"The Arcturus station is beautiful at night isn't it?" Hannah asked. "The lights slowly turning off and the stars coming out."
John said nothing.
"I like to watch the stars as they come out," Hannah said. "It's like they're being born all over again. It's like they're starting to shine for the first time in history. You know?"
John said nothing, but Hannah noticed John turn his gaze upwards towards the stars.
"Have you ever heard of the hedgehog's dilemma?" Hannah asked, smiling brightly. That caught John's attention. He turned over to look at her, a questioning look on his face behind his hair. Hannah really wanted to cut off all that hair.
"Well, you know a hedgehog is covered from head to toe in spikes or quills," Hannah said. "During the winter, hedgehog's need to stick together and share each other's body warmth. However, the closer they get to each other, the more their spikes and quills hurt each other. So, the dilemma is to either get warm and hurt each other or say away from each other and freeze to death."
John blinked a few times before turning his attention back to the stars and the metal station zooming past.
"Sucks for them, huh?" John commented.
"I guess so," Hannah replied.
"And for us, as well," John said.
"Who?" Hannah asked.
"Everyone in this universe," John replied. "The closer we get to each other, the more likely it is that we hurt each other. That's what you're getting at, right?"
"You guessed it," Hannah replied cheerfully.
"Woman, you are way too happy about that," John said.
"Boy, you are way too introverted," Hannah shot back.
"Touché," John replied in a bored manner.
They soon were back at her apartment complex. It was rather barren, due to Hannah never really living there since she joined the Alliance. It was mainly only used for her days off. It still had that musky, new apartment smell to it as well. It still smelled foreign and alien.
When they entered the room, John immediately walked to his room and shut the door. That was it. He wouldn't come out again until the next morning. Or until he got hungry. Hannah sighed at the thought. Personally, she hated to cook. But she now had a son to take care of now, so she went to work.
A little while later, there was fresh spaghetti and bolognese sauce steaming on the table. Hannah smiled proudly to herself. It was the best piece of dish she had ever cooked before.
"John!" Hannah called happily. "Time to eat!"
John emerged from his cave like room and sat down quietly at the table, taking some food and began to eat. Silently. Hannah sat down across from him and began to eat her own meal. The room was silent except for the sound of the food and the clatter of their silverware.
John was happy to ignore and to be ignored by his supposed mother. He found her constant attempts to connect with him annoying. But she continued to pester him repeatedly. He didn't really know what to make of that.
"So what happened at school today?" Hannah asked. John glanced at her.
"It's exactly as it sounds," John responded.
"So you beat up fifteen of your classmates," Hannah stated.
"They're not my classmates," John reminded her. "They're just people who happened to be in the same area I was."
"They go to the same classes you do," Hannah said. "Sound's like classmates to me. But, I guess you don't see them as classmates, since they're just faces in a crowd."
"There you go," John said, chewing a mouthful of spaghetti. His eating habits slowly became forced and filled with frustration.
"But why did you do it?" Hannah asked.
"Because they threatened me," John reminded her and stating it a matter-of-fact tone.
"I heard only three kids threatened you," Hannah said. "The rest were trying to stop the fight."
"They were trying to hurt me," John blurted out angrily.
"Only one of them was trying to hurt you," Hannah stated.
"They were trying to touch me!" John exclaimed. In that moment, his hair flew away from his eyes and revealed them. His face went from anger to shock at his outburst so fast that Hannah almost missed it.
"Why don't you like people touching you?" Hannah asked.
John didn't answer.
"You don't trust them?" Hannah asked.
John refused to answer.
"John-" Hannah began.
"Thank you for the meal, Hannah," John cut in as he got up and walked back into his cave-like room, slamming the door shut behind him. Hannah sat very still for a while. The steam was still rising from the food, she noticed.
Hannah didn't really know what to do about John. On the one hand, she wanted him to be comfortable with her. She wanted him to trust her and she knew he never would if she sent him to a psychologist. You just couldn't force others to open up. But on the other hand, if this continued, she was certain John would hurt himself badly and she just couldn't forgive herself if anything happened to him. Despite not being of the same blood, she loved the boy too damn much to see him hurt. She couldn't explain why, she just did.
In the end, she decided to be patient. If she rushed him, he would close himself off from everyone and that was dangerous. So she bid John good night through the closed door and went to sleep.
However, her dreams woke her. She couldn't remember what they were exactly but she woke up trembling. She gazed around the darkened room and a terrible feeling washed over her. Something was not right.
She slipped out of her bed and donned her robe. Slowly, she peaked her head out into the hallway. The pale darkness played with the shadows on the wall. Nothing new. Hannah tiptoed down the hallway, making sure she didn't wake John. She emerged from the hallway and into the living area. Nothing there. However, she still couldn't shake the feeling the something was wrong.
Sighing quietly to herself, she walked to the door and peaked at the nearby screen. Pressing a button, she saw what was on the other side of the door. Nothing. Reassuring herself that nothing was wrong she began to walk away.
John's shoes were missing though.
Hannah froze as she stared at the ground by the door. His shoes were gone. He always left them by the door next to hers. Well, there were her shoes but his shoes…
"Shit!" Hannah cursed under her breath as she rushed to John's room. The door was left ajar. John never leaves his door open like that. Hannah slammed the door open and quickly turned on the lights.
John had been long gone.
\::/::\::/::\::/
The stars wheeling overhead were always such a mesmerizing sight no matter what planet you were one. John gazed up at them as he walked down the pathway, knapsack strung over his shoulder. Sure, they were arranged differently then they were on Earth or on Mindoir, but they were still stars. John often wondered what it was that caused man to look up at them and yearn to fly among them. Had they grown bored of their own land and sought more? John didn't know and was content in knowing the answer may never be found. He enjoyed gazing at the heavens above nonetheless.
"Hey! Watch it, kid!" a man shoved John out of the way, nearly causing him to fall over. Repositioning the sack back to its comfortable spot, John glared after the man. He contemplated slitting the bastards throat for a second, but decided against it. He was trying to escape, after all. It wouldn't be in his best interests to be causing a ruckus.
John continued to walk down the pathway as he looked out at the massive, rotating station surrounding him, as well as the gas giant Themis beyond. Still hard to believe that a year ago, he was on Mindoir. And harder still to believe that four years ago, he was back on Earth. With Jane…
John shook his head roughly. Don't think about that. Don't. Not now. Focus. Focus. He had to get to the docking bay. He needed to get away. Away from everyone.
John quickened his steps as he continued to his brisk walk. Still, his mind continued to wander around to various topics. Eventually, all the thoughts returned to Hannah, the pesky woman who refused to leave him alone. In truth, John had never met anyone like her. She was cheerful, kind, and caring, all traits that annoyed him to no end.
But John also had to admit that she wasn't like all the other people that he had met. She seemed to genuinely like him, something that he had only seen in one person his entire life. She was willing to take him into her home when he was put up for adoption. She cared for him and bought his supplies. She even picked him up from school after the incident without any questions. All in all, she continued to surprise John.
John slowed his footsteps as he neared the docking bay area, where hundreds of Alliance ships filled this side of the station with lights and noise. The wind generated from them kicked up his long hair, blowing it back and revealing his bright blue eyes that shone brilliantly. He took a long, hard look forward at where he felt he was forced to go. Then he took a hard, longing look backwards at where he felt he wanted to be. With a resigned sigh, he turned away and faced forward. Always forward. Never back.
He prepared to take the first step forward.
"John!"
The boy with brilliant blue eyes spun around at the sound of his name. He stared in shock and confusion at the woman who followed him there with her auburn hair blowing in the wind. Hannah, in her night robe and breathing heavily, stood just a few feet away from him. None said a word. One was out a breath and the other was too shocked for words.
"John! There you are!" Hannah laughed forcefully. "I've been looking everywhere for you! Why didn't you tell me you were going out! You really had me worried!"
John said nothing.
"Listen, you can't just run off like that in the middle of the night!" Hannah rubbed the back of her neck as she forced a chuckle. "If you had gotten hurt, no one would have been able to find you!"
John gritted his teeth in frustration.
"Did you come out here to get a view of the Alliance ships?" Hannah asked smiling. "I can see why. The ships are really beautiful to look at during the ni-"
"Why the hell can't you leave me alone?" John screamed, eyes blazing in furious fire. Hannah looked stunned.
"John?" Hannah whispered. John took several deep breaths as his hair covered his eyes, partially obscuring his vision.
"Are you just that stupid?" John accused. "I don't want to be here! I don't want to be around anybody! I just want to be left alone!"
"No one really wants to be alone," Hannah replied simply and calmly.
"Well, I do!" John shouted again. "I hate you! I hate you all!"
"Okay," Hannah said nodding, holding up her hands. "Okay. Talk to me, John. Please. Talk to me. What's going on? Is something wrong? We can talk about it. I can help you. But you need to talk to me. Please John. Just talk to me."
"Shut up! Just shut up!" John screamed, clenching his fists tightly, his fingernails digging deep into the palms of his hands. "Leave me alone!"
Angry tears dripping from his face, John spun around and began to run. He didn't know which way, and he didn't care. He just needed to get away from her and her lies. He couldn't take her kindness any longer. He just couldn't. John was sure he was screaming after him but he ignored her. No doubt she would chase after him but he was raised on Earth. Another thing he knew how to do well was run.
John ran up towards one of the nearby cargo boxes. He jumped onto it and leapt towards the fence beyond it. He placed his hand on the top of the fence and pulled himself across. He landed feet first and rolled. John continued to run further into the spaceport.
Hannah couldn't believe how limber and agile he was, considering his age. But Hannah was not to be outdone by a 14-year-old kid, so she quickened her pace. Her bathrobe allowed her limbs freedom of movement as she climbed the fence and jumped down the other side. She caught sight of John as she landed and continued her chase. She had to take care of John. She had to help him anyway she could.
So John ran. He ran, his heart pumping, nearly leaping out of his chest. Blasts of hot wind blasted across his face as he neared some of the engines of the ships but he continued to run. Men shouted at him but he ignored them all. They could all have died for all he cared. He ran away from all of them. Always running. Always running, never stopping.
A drop and John skidded to a stop. Breathing heavily, he peered down below him at the gaping darkness of midnight that threatened to swallow him up. Panting, he saw no way across to the other side. And there was no way to tell how deep the crevice was.
"John!"
Hannah was running up to him. No choice.
With lightning fast movements, John grabbed his knife and whipped it out, its steel blade shining in the light of the engines. The wind kicked up his pitch, black hair, revealing his maddened eyes.
"Stay back!" John ordered, positioning himself in a ready position, like Elanos Haliat, the man he would kill, taught him.
Hannah skidded to a stop and raised her hands. They both stared at each other as they panted, nearly out of breath. Nothing was said for the moment.
"You're pretty quick for an old woman," John noted, breaking the tension.
"I work out," Hannah said as sweat slid down her cheek. Her face softened. "Why are you running, John?"
"To get away from your annoying pestering," John answered.
"Well, John," Hannah responded. "I'm still here. So talk to me. What's the problem?"
"You're the problem," John stated. "Don't you see that?"
"I'm trying to help you," Hannah said.
"I gathered that," John muttered angrily. "I don't need help from the likes of you."
"Then what do you want?" Hannah asked.
"Still don't get it?" John shook his head. "I want you to leave me alone! I want everyone to leave me alone!"
"Why?" Hannah asked.
"Why should I tell you?" John shot back at her.
"Do you even know why?" Hannah asked.
"Do you think I'm stupid?" John asked crossly. "You're all liars. Every one of you. Liars. You lie. You cheat. You kill. Animals, nothing more."
"Who hurt you John?" Hannah asked, calmly taking a step forward.
"Everyone!" John exclaimed. "Every human being I've ever met! Everyone I knew has tried to kill me! You're no different!"
There it was. Hannah had known it all along but she needed to hear him say it to her. Calmly and slowly, Hannah took another step forward.
"Stay back!" John shouted again.
"John," Hannah whispered soothingly to him. Her face was filled with worry. Her chest ached with tears. "I promise you, with every ounce of my being, that I will never hurt you."
"Liar," John said angrily. "Stay back." He waved his knife expertly and threateningly.
"I know people have hurt before, John," Hannah said. Her voice was filled with remorse and empathy. "I know you are fill with pain, anger and a wound that may never be healed. But I will try to help you in any way I can. I promise you that, John."
"Shut up," John whispered again, his voice suddenly starting to sound uncertain. She was getting closer.
"I will never hurt you, John," Hannah said as she reached forward compassionately.
"Shut up, just shut up!" John screamed. He didn't believe it. He didn't want to believe it. He drew his knife back and lunged forward. He felt the knife slid into skin. Such a familiar feeling, yet this time, it felt…horrifying.
Breathing heavily, John looked up. Hannah had raised her arm at the last minute, letting the knife bury deep into her forearm. John, shocked and confused, watched as the blood ran down her arm, falling to the ground and forming a small puddle. Hannah winced at the pain, but ignored it. Slowly, she put her arms around John and held him close to her in a warm embrace. John's eyes widened. He felt her heartbeat, calm and collected despite the wound. He felt her warmth, a sensation he had not felt from another human being in a long time.
"I'm here, John," Hannah whispered. "Just talk to me."
Too much. Everything was going so fast. His heart was pounding in his chest. A pain was welling up within him. Too much at a time. John wasn't used to it. He quickly pushed Hannah away, closing his eyes tightly, blocking out the world and the sensations.
The edge. He forgot about the edge. His foot stepped back and landed on nothing but air. A heartbeat later, he was drifting back. He briefly saw Hannah cry out and reach for him, blood sent into the air from her arm. John head tilted backwards and he saw the darkness begin to swallow him up.
He felt something grab him and hold him tight. It seemed to shelter him from the pain of the universe. Cradled in the embrace, he felt…at peace. He felt at home. He felt-
Darkness.
A breath.
John slowly opened his eyes to even more darkness. He groaned as he tried to move. A dull throb ached throughout his body, limiting his movements. It was much more prominent in his left arm and his right leg, but he didn't think about that. He tried to understand where he was. And why there was an awkward…thing underneath him, like a rock of some kind. Ignoring that, he pushed himself up by his arms.
A snap and his left arm was broken.
Crying out in pain, John fell back to the ground and onto the thing beneath him. Slowly and carefully, he dared to look at his twisted and mangled arm. He must have landed on it. He could almost see the bone tearing his skin. Wincing he tried to get up again.
He heard a ship pass overhead, shining a light into the pit.
The mangled and broken body of Hannah Shepard was revealed to him.
Shouting in surprise, he leapt to his feet and his right leg broke beneath him. Screaming now, he rolled to the ground and tried to not move. Calming down and slowing his heartbeat, he examined his leg. Not too bad but impossible to move with. Rolling over, he examined the body beside him.
She was a bloody mess. Limbs bent in impossible positions. Blood covering her face. John could barely look, yet he felt entranced by the sight. He felt sick. Not at the sight but with himself. She had jumped, no doubt, catching him in mid-air. She had used her body as a shield against the ground, protecting him. Another death because of him.
No, she was alive. She was breathing! John leaned closer to the body, using his free arm to check for a pulse. It was weak but steady. But so what? What could John do about it? He had broken limbs as well. What could he do?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Weakly, John managed to climb to his feet, shifting his weight to his healthy leg. He caught a gleam and saw that his knife had fallen a few feet away. Moving slowly, he made his way to it. It was his only hope now. His only solace from the universe. Slowly, he managed to pick up the knife and sheathe it by his side. He paused. He glanced behind him. The body was still there. Beyond it, he saw a ladder leading out of the pit. 25 meters high, he guessed. No way he could carry her up there.
Sighing, he limped towards the ladder, moving so he didn't go near the body. He continued to limp, leaving the body behind. But something stopped him. He could still hear her voice and the words she spoke to him. She protected him. She had kept her promise. John glanced behind him again, his hair uncovering his pure blue eyes.
"Dammit, woman, you're going to kill me," John cursed as he made his way to the body.
In time, he managed to place the body of the 29-year-old woman onto his shoulders, partly dragging her along, holding her up with his healthy arm around her waist. He used his mouth to hold her arm around his neck, since his own arm was useless. Without a word, he made his way to the 25 meters tall ladder, determined to drag her up it if he had to. He knew where to go after that. A hospital was out of the question, though. They would have to place the incident into the system. The adoption board would find out about it eventually and John would no doubt be forced to live elsewhere. John wasn't going to let that happen. He couldn't. He owed it too her. He knew there was a hospital for animals about 10 miles from the spaceport. They could probably help them. Humans were animals too, after all. But he had to get out the pit first.
An hour. It took an hour for John to drag Hannah out of the pit (failing several times) and to the vet. For an hour, he dragged Hannah through the alleyways of the Arcturus Station, seeing no one. They were sleeping of course. They didn't care. An hour after he fell, an old veterinarian and his young assistant were shocked at the sight of a 14-year-old child carrying the body of a woman twice his size. He was breathing heavily, her blood dripping onto him and onto the ground. The bone in his arm had pierced through his skin and his leg was mangled beyond belief. His eyes showed that he didn't care. He was determined to help Hannah in anyway possible. Any pain he had was nothing compared to the pain Hannah had gone through.
Slowly laying Hannah down on the ground, John grabbed his knife and pointed it at the veterinarian, his eyes piercing and terrifying.
"Fix her," John demanded.
\::/::\::/::\::/
John sat on the ground an hour or so later, arm in a sling and leg in a cast, waiting for the return of the old veterinarian. For some reason, he decided to call him Asclepius. He had heard the name somewhere before but he couldn't remember where. Deep down, though, it felt appropriate. As for the female assistant, however, he didn't feel up to giving a name to her. He could always just learn her name, he supposed, but he honestly didn't care about what kind of relationship she was having with the old man. She didn't matter to him at all.
Hannah, on the other hand, was a different story.
The door swung open and John looked up.
"She's going to be fine," Asclepius told him. "All she needs is rest. I believe she relaxed her body the moment before she hit the ground, which allowed her body to absorb most of the impact. I've managed to fix her broken limbs and her internal organs are being repaired by Medi-Gel as we speak. Speaking of which, we can take your casts off, though you're going to have to wear a brace around your arm and leg until they're completely healed. Same for her."
"Fine," John muttered.
John allowed Asclepius to cut off the castings that clung to his limbs. John was still slightly amazed by how much Medi-Gel helped heal his wounds. The area where his bone had broken through the skin had become no more than another scar. He didn't let down his guard around the man, however. He was a stranger to him. Though he let the man put a brace around his leg and arm, he was still wary.
"Well, that should do it," Asclepius said with a tired sigh and wiping sweat from his brow. "Now, we should set up a bed for her so she can stay the night."
"Can we move her?" John asked.
"I would advise against it, but she's stable," the old man admitted.
"Then let me take her back home," John stated. Asclepius paused, thinking. He shrugged and sighed.
"Fine," Asclepius said. But John was already limping towards Hannah, ignoring the old man. "How do you plan on getting there?"
"I'll manage," John replied simply, looking over her limp body almost suspiciously.
"That won't do," the old man replied. "Let me drive you there."
"I only asked you to help her," John stated. "Not to drive me anywhere."
"Well, if I drive you two back home, I'll still be helping her. Besides, you're in no condition to be carrying her anywhere. Not again," Asclepius stated simply. John looked like he was considering his words for a moment, so the old man let him think.
"Fine," John finally conceded.
Asclepius moved the gurney that Hannah was lying on outside and to his car. John insisted on the car because it wouldn't draw attention. Asclepius merely shrugged. Soon, they were on their way, John sitting in the back seat with Hannah resting her head on his lap. John didn't mind anymore. Asclepius glanced at them in the rear view mirror and caught John stroking Hannah's auburn hair and forehead. He smiled when he saw that John wasn't aware he was doing it.
Soon, they reached Hannah's apartment and Asclepius helped move her from the car to her bed. Carefully and cautiously, of course. When she was safely in her bed and breathing normally, Asclepius took his leave.
"If you tell anyone about what happened, I'll gouge your eyes out," John stated.
"Hey, patient-doctor confidentiality," Asclepius said. "You should be able to buy some painkillers if you should experience anything at a pharmacy. Beyond that, all I can say is for the both of you to take it easy until your bodies heal. Make sure you plenty of food and drink plenty of water."
"I got it, I got it," John showed him the door. Asclepius shrugged and walked through the door. A thought occurred to him and he turned around.
"What is she to you?" he asked the young boy. John blinked at him behind his long hair. "I don't know what happened and frankly, I don't want to know. But just tell me this: why did you go so far for her? What is she to you?"
John was silent for a moment, looking thoughtful. Asclepius waited patiently.
John gave the old man his answer before he closed door.
\::/::\::/::\::/
John stayed by Hannah's side while she lay still on the bed. Sitting in a chair he had rolled into the room, he had a tray resting on his lap with some food he had found. Some fruit, meat and some juice. Just enough to fill Hannah's stomach and replenish her strength.
"Hannah," John said loudly. "You need to eat."
Hannah mumbled something incoherently. John took the apple and cut out a slice for her to eat. He leaned forward and placed the slice into her mouth and waited. He watched as Hannah worked the apple around in her mouth, trying to chew it and swallow. She could taste the apple but she felt so weak. The apple dropped from her mouth and onto her chest.
John picked up the slice and placed in his own mouth without a thought. He chewed it up until it was mushy and soft. He placed the tray down on the ground and leaned forward over Hannah's head. Without any hesitation, he softly opened Hannah's mouth and gently placed his own over it. He pushed the food into her mouth without any thought of it. He had done it before. Why should this time be any different?
When he leaned back, he felt a sort of…satisfaction when Hannah chewed on the apple slice and swallowed. Smiling a genuine smile so soft and kind, he picked up the apple from the tray and cut out a second slice. He placed it into his mouth and repeated the entire process. There was nothing strange about it. When an action is born out of necessity, it is rarely strange.
Soon, the tray was empty and Hannah rested quietly in the bed, her complexion slowly returning. John left the room and washed the dishes, trying to keep himself busy while he waited for Hannah to wake up. He finished washing the dishes so he decided to clean up the bathroom. When that was done, he decided to take care of the laundry. When that was done, he decided to clean up his room. When that was done, he decided to clean up the rest of the apartment. When that was done, he decided to work through the routines that he learned from the man he wanted to kill. When that was done…he didn't know what else he could do.
He entered Hannah's room and walked up to her bed, checking her pulse. It was steady. She was just resting her tired body. John stood there watching her, feeling slightly lost. But, oddly enough, he felt better than when he wasn't in the room. He noted that she seemed to bring him peace when she was near. Strange.
John sat down with his back against the wall, knees bent and feet flat on the floor. He took out his knife and examined it, remembering the girl who gave it to him. He guessed Hannah resembled her a little. Or at least, she reminded him of her. He put the knife away and sat there, watching Hannah, waiting for her to wake up.
\::/::\::/::\::/
Hannah slowly opened her eyes. She recognized her room, but how did she get there? What day was it? What time was it? She felt confused and tired. Her body ached. She slowly pushed herself up, sitting herself up right.
"Take it easy," John said. "You've been out for a day or so."
Hannah blinked.
"John!" Hannah exclaimed. "Are you alright?" She tried to lean forward, but her arms wouldn't listen to her.
"I'm fine, just a scratch," John replied. "You were in worse shape."
Hannah rubbed her shoulder, trying to rub away the soreness. She felt…rather cold, for some reason. She looked down at herself. Her eyes widened in shock.
"John," she asked slowly. "Why am I naked?"
"Oh," John said. "Your clothes were covered in blood. So I took them off so I could wash them."
Hannah quickly grabbed the sheets wrapped them around her body, hiding herself.
"Wha-wha-wha-what!" Hannah exclaimed. "Wh-wh-why-di-duh…"
"What?" John asked innocently.
Hannah groaned and closed her eyes tightly. Well, at least she still had her underwear on. Or did she? She quickly checked.
"Do you like wearing strawberry panties?" John asked, cocking an eyebrow.
"You're a perverted little runt, aren't you?" Hannah groaned.
"I try," John said, smiling. It took awhile for Hannah to realize that he had made a joke. Hannah smiled and chuckled. John returned the smile and also began to chuckle. They didn't know why, but for some reason, they both burst out laughing. It was the strangest situation in the universe and they laughed it away.
Over the course of the next few days, John helped Hannah recover the rest of her strength. Soon, she was able to walk on her own, though John continued to help her with the household chores, such as cleaning the rooms, making dinner and doing the laundry. Hannah merely smiled as she watched John work.
"Thank you," Hannah said one morning. John looked at her, a frown on his face.
"Don't thank me," John said.
"But you-" Hannah said.
"Don't thank me," John stated harshly. "I'm the reason you're in that state. You don't thank me. Ever."
Before he could react, a pillow flew across the room and creamed him in the face.
"Stubborn brat!" Hannah scolded, holding the pillow over John's face as he tried to squirm. "I'll thank whoever the hell I want to thank! You saved my ass! So thank you!" After a moment, Hannah released the pillow and John came up for air.
"That time of the month, huh?" John asked, causing Hannah to smack him upside the head with the pillow.
John was on the ground, dizzy. But he rolled over to his side and grabbed a pillow. In retaliation, he slammed the pillow into Hannah's stomach, knocking the air out of her lungs.
"Oh, you're in for it now!" Hannah yelled. "Get over here!"
"Bring it on, hag!" John yelled back.
A few minutes later, John and Hannah were on the floor, breathing heavily, catching their breaths. Hannah was on her back while John lay across her stomach, both shuddering as they tried to contain their laughter.
"Thank you," Hannah said. "For taking care of me when I was injured."
John looked at her and smiled.
"I'm tired," John said. "I'm gonna go sleep. Wake me up if you need anything."
"Nighty night," Hannah said, smiling.
John entered his room and closed the door. Hannah watched him go, still smiling. She got up and turned on the extranet, seeing what news there was. For a few hours, Hannah sat on the couch and watched whatever came on. She was leaning back and relaxing after her little exertion with John. Her body began aching a lot faster than before so she had to take it slow. Still, she was happy. John was slowly beginning to open up.
It was around afternoon time when John's door opened again. He slowly made his way to the couch and sat down next to Hannah.
"What's on?" John asked.
"Nothing much," Hannah replied.
John nodded, still a little groggy. Slowly, John curled up on the couch and placed his head in Hannah's lap. Surprised, Hannah looked at John, trying to figure out what he was doing. But it was exactly what it looked like. John was resting his head in Hannah's lap. A feeling washed over her that nearly brought a tear to her eyes. It was a mother's love, she was sure. She placed her fingers in John's hair and affectionately rubbed his head.
"We should cut your hair," Hannah noted. "Just short enough so you can see past it. What do you think?"
"Thank you," John said quietly. Hannah paused. "Thank you for bringing me into your home. Thank you for taking care of me. And thank you for protecting me when I fell. I was jerk, I know. I…I just didn't want to trust anyone. I just wanted to be left alone. All you wanted was to help. I just didn't want it. I thought you were a liar. That you really didn't care for me. It was only after…only afterwards…that I realized that you really did care. Sorry it took so long."
"You took as long as you needed to," Hannah replied. "That's all." John blinked.
"Thank you," John said again, closing his eyes and smiling like a little child.
"So how about that hair?" Hannah asked. John opened his eyes and thought.
"Okay," John said.
They got a chair and John was soon wrapped up in a blanket. Hannah snapped the scissors in her hand, jokingly menacingly.
"Try not to cut my jugular, will you?" John asked.
"You've got no hair on your face, kid," Hannah said. "But sure. I'll try."
"Want some music?" John asked.
"Sure," Hannah replied. "What've you got?"
"You might like this," John turned on his Omni-Tool and selected a song. When it started, Hannah slowly began to move her hips to the music. She did like it. Simple, yet powerful. Slowly, Hannah began to cut away the pitch-black hair that covered John's brilliant and lovely blue eyes. John let her cut off as much as she wanted to. He trusted her.
Playing playlist entitled "John's Oldies"…
Selecting random track…
Track #306: "Brave New World" by "Iron Maiden" from "Brave New World (2000)"
"Dying swans twisted wings, beauty not needed here
Lost my love, lost my life, in this garden of fear
I have seen many things, in a lifetime alone
Mother love is no more, bring this savage back home
Wilderness house of pain, makes no sense of it all
Close this mind dull this brain, Messiah before his fall
What you see is not real, those who know will not tell
All is lost sold your souls to this brave new world
A brave new world, in a brave new world
A brave new world, in a brave new world
In a brave new world, a brave new world
In a brave new world, a brave new world
Dragon kings dying queens, where is salvation now
Lost my life lost my dreams, rip the bones from my flesh
Silent screams laughing here, dying to tell you the truth
You are planned and you are damned in this brave new world
A brave new world, in a brave new world
A brave new world, in a brave new world
In a brave new world, a brave new world
In a brave new world, a brave new world
A brave new world, in a brave new world
A brave new world, in a brave new world
In a brave new world, a brave new world
In a brave new world, a brave new world
Dying swans twisted wings, bring this savage back home."
\
2183
…Present Day…
\
"So tell me, doc," Shepard said sternly. "Is it terminal?"
Ashley chuckled and shook her head.
"Well, we won't know for another hour or so," Dr. Michel said, smiling. "We'll call you when we get the results."
"Alright," Shepard said. "We'll leave you to do…whatever it is you do."
"Be a doctor?" Michel asked.
"Yeah, that thing," Shepard hopped off the table and put on his clothes.
A few minutes later, Shepard and Ashley stood outside the office, leaning against the nearby railing and staring at the lights of the massive Citadel. Thousands of vehicles, powered by mass effect fields, flew past their heads, kicking up their hair. Beyond, the arms of the Wards stretched out far in front of them, like the fingers of a giant reaching out beyond. And further still, they could see the dust and lights of the Serpent Nebula, colorful and vibrant.
"You scared?" Ashley asked. "About the results."
"Not really," Shepard shook his head. "I'm more curious about what's going on in my head more than anything."
"I guess I would be too," Ashley said. She thought for a moment. "What did you tell the veterinarian? When he asked you what the Staff Commander Shepard was to you."
"I'll tell you later," Shepard said. "I'm tired.
"Fair enough," Ashley said. She smiled. "But I had to say, you were kind of a jerk when you were little."
"I wasn't a happy little boy," Shepard said, shaking his head.
"But I'm glad," Ashley said. "I'm glad that the Staff Commander could help you. Even though you didn't want it."
"She helped a little, I guess," Shepard said, thinking back. "She was there when no one else was."
Ashley smiled warmly. She could tell that Shepard was…a little happier now that he told that story. She slapped her hands gently on the railing. "I should be going. I've got things I need to take care of."
"Good luck with that," Shepard said. "I'll just hang out here. Enjoy the view."
"Have fun," Ashley said. She began to walk off but stopped, thinking. "Shepard, can I ask you something?"
"Sure," Shepard responded.
"How would you try to get an Alliance research project canceled?" Ashley asked.
"What kind of project is it and why would I want it canceled?" Shepard asked, looking thoughtful.
"That's the thing," Ashley said. "It's a project that ultimately benefits in the protection of Alliance space, and yet…something about it just doesn't sit well with your…gut, feelings or instincts, I guess.
"It's a problem of ethics, then," Shepard noted. "I don't like the way it's handled, the details of the project doesn't sit well with my own beliefs, stuff like that. Or do I have something personal at stake?"
"All of those things, I guess," Ashley said. Shepard furrowed his brow, thinking about it for a moment.
"I wouldn't be able to do much," Shepard said slowly. "All I could really do is send my complaint through the proper channels and make sure it got to an man of higher rank than the officer in charge of the project. Beyond that, there's not much I could do. As a soldier, the man above me in rank inherently knows more than I do."
Ashley didn't smile at the joke. She merely nodded and looked at the nebula again.
"I see," Ashley said quietly. "I'll see you later, Skipper." Without another word, she walked down the hallway. Shepard stared after her for a moment and sighed. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it, inhaling deeply. He needed it.
A green keeper scuttled its way up next to Shepard. Green and insect-like, it pulled out a datapad and began to work furiously, its four limbs tapping away on the holographic keyboard. Shepard glanced down at the keeper who ignored Shepard. Shepard blew a puff of smoke down from the side of his mouth, trying to see a reaction. It got none.
"How's it going there?" Shepard asked. The keeper didn't answer. "Were you eavesdropping on us?" Again, the keeper didn't answer, causing Shepard to sigh.
"Yeah, I know I should help her," Shepard talked more to himself. "Hell, whatever's going on, it's eating her up inside. But she doesn't want my help, so why should I give it? She wants to see if she can fix it on her own. I can understand that. She's so full of pride. If I were in her shoes, I'd probably want to fix it myself too, without any help from anyone. Maybe I'm just worried about her, I don't know. She really forces her way under your skin if you spend too much time with her, what with all her pestering and annoying questions. Thing is though, I don't know what's going to happen if I just leave her be. If I help her, she's going to hate herself and think she's weak. If I don't help her, she likely to get into some kind of trouble with the higher ups. I don't know what to do. So many problems. And for some reason, I feel like I have to take care of them all."
The keeper didn't say anything. It just continued to type whatever it was typing on the datapad.
"Don't talk much, do you?" Shepard asked. Then he looked up and scoffed. "What the hell am I doing? I just got my head scanned and I'm talking to a bug. I guess I am losing my mind!"
The keeper reached over with an insect claw and patted him gently on the shoulder twice. Shepard looked down at the bug, perplexed. The keeper continued to work. Shepard looked down at his cigarette, furrowing his brow in confusion. He looked at the keeper again, who just continued to work. It then closed its datapad and walked away to another part of the station. Shepard looked out after the bug, still in confusion. Keepers never interacted with anyone. Ever. They just walked around the Citadel, fixing what needed fixing and making adjustments.
"That was weird," Shepard muttered, taking another puff of his cigarette and staring out at the galaxy.
Sorry for lateness. College started again so I've been busy with that. Then I got sick, so that sucked. Wanted to tear out my sinuses and leave them bleeding on the ground so this shit won't happen again…ugh, I hate getting sick. As I'm writing this, I feel dizzy enough to collapse if I get up to fast. Or that could just be the medicine. Who knows.
So here ya go. The Spacer background. Out of all the backgrounds, I think the Spacer is the most boring one. Shepard lives on ships and stations his entire life. That's all it is, really. The only thing that makes this interesting (in my opinion) is his relationship with his mother and that was downplayed a lot. So hopefully I pulled it off. It's a twisted and complex relationship but I think there's genuine love between them. But what do I know? I'm just a lazy college student.
I also thought it would be interesting if Shepard tell his problems to a random keeper instead of explaining everything in a lengthy paragraph of internal thoughts. Just switch if up a bit.
Also, if you've been keeping up with Mass Effect 2 news, you'll know that two teammates have already been revealed: Grunt, a krogan dude who looks younger than Wrex and Thane, a philosophical drell assassin. There was also a third teammate revealed at the Tokyo Game Show: Subject Zero, a biotic human bitch with a foul mouth and skin that's covered in tattoos. And apparently she's one of the love interests. …Yeah, I'm gonna stick with Liara on this one, thank you very much.
And as you may know, members of your previous team will return in the sequel provided they weren't killed off in the first one. My question is this and to my frustration it has not been answered yet: will they be part of your team on the supposed suicide mission or will they only be making cameo appearances? Let's hope for the former.