Authors Note: Behold... I've returned... Now. I know I've been gone for a long time, two years infact, but I'm back now. I've gone through alot these past few years, more than someone my age (17) should have gone through. I haven't forgotten you though! I plan on finishing this before I graduate in two months time. I might skip ahead a bit in places, please forgive me, but It will all be wonderful in the end... or as wonderful as it can be considering that more than one character will have to die, as well as Lily and James... ah, and if anyone's interested in contacting me, i've gotten a new email,

And I want to thank you all for welcoming me back! You've no idea how much it means to me that there are some familiar faces... names... you all know what I mean!

Softeyes! It's you:snuggles: Oh wow! The proboards thing is awesome. look it up, marauderpg. There're people from all over the world on the board. It's so much fun. I think I got lucky when I was picked to be Lily. Though that Lily is a bit different from this Lily...

Kristen Black: I do appriciate your critisism, however, I would appreciate it if you would finish reading the what i've gotten posted of the story before you comment. I'm aware James and Lily are Head Boy and Girl, and I've righted alot of the things that were wrong with the story. Again, I was what... 14 when I started writing this? And besides, this is a Fanfiction. It doesn't have to be perfect. One of my favourites had someone else as Head Boy with Lily... And the story was marvelous. Like, you, I don't mean to offend, but I would take your comments more seriously if the entire story had been read. And trust me, the chapters do get quite a bit longer, and written a bit better.

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Chapter 36: Shattered

After Valentine's Day, time seemed to fly by. By April, three more attacks had affected Hogwarts students. Two of them were hufflepuffs, who left for funerals, and never came back. It seemed that every day, someone else was missing. By May, the students were trying to forget the dismal affairs of the outside world. They inwardly prayed that they would not be effected, though doubted they would be that lucky. Most of the fifth and seventh years had taken to their books, as O.L.W.S and N.E.W.T.S were right around the corner. Lily, who had lightened up after Valentines Day, was once again burried in her Arithmacy book, stopping only to scribble something that might be of importance on an evergrowing piece of parchment.

James let out a long, and very obnoxious sigh as he pushed his breakfast around his plate with disinterest.

Heather leaned into Remus and whispered, "What's up with him?"

Remus swallowed his sausage and looked to James, then back at Heather. "Him? He's just upset that Lily hand He haven't so much as kissed since April... What was it again, Prongs?"

"April twelfth." James replied without looking up as he let out another sigh.

"Like I said," Remus continued, "hasn't so much as kissed him since April twelfth." He said as he rolled his eyes.

Heather furrowed her eyebrows. "You've got to be kidding me." she paused, looking at Lily, who had dissappeared into another book, this time, her transfiguration book. "Lily, You promised me you would pay attention to more than just your books!"

Lily emerged for a moment, taking a sip of her juice. "I have been." Lily said with indignation. "I said Good Morning to him today." She said as she went back behind her book, shaking her head. "And don't talk about me like I can't hear you. I'm right here, not in an alternate universe." She added as she stole a glance at James, who again, sighed when he caught her eye. "Oh don't look at me like that James! N.E.W.T.S are next month!"

James groaned. "Lily flower... " He said attempting to coaxher out of her book, "None of us have even started studying... and plus, you're the smartest girl in our year, you're bound to get all O's!"

Lily slammed her book shut. "James! You haven't started studying yet?" She turned her wide-eyed expression on Remus. "Remus! You haven't started yet either? I'm nearly half done!"

Remus turned a rather flattering shade of pink as he adverted his attention. "Well, you see Lily, with my-- er-- problem... I probably won't get a decent job anyways, but I do intend to keep my grades up... its just not much... motivation to study you see... I'll probably just-- well you know-- study next month."

Lily gasped. "Next month?" She looked positively flabberghasted. "Heather! Tell him he's insane!"

Heather blushed and turned away as well. "Lily... he's right, I haven't started either..."

"But I saw you with a book out last night! You were reading it!"

"I was reading it for homework... not for studing..." Heather said shyly.

"See Lily, no one's started yet... so can we please have some time together?" James was desperate. He wanted to hold her, kiss her, caress her... didn't she miss his touch as much as he missed hers?

Lily looked infuriated. "James Potter!" He shrank. It was almost as if they had reverted three years. "Just because you thrive on sexual actions does not mean I do!"

James turned a shade of red that was not very becoming on him. "Lily, thats... thats not what I meant..." Though on the inside he knew he was having issues controling his body. He would often find himself standing outside her room at night listening to her quill scratching away at parchment while he yearned to touch her.

"Oh? Then what did you mean?" She asked peering at him. "Do tell."

James stared at her. She hadn't talked to him like that since before they were 'friends'. " I just miss spending time with you... that's all... But since I'm obviously bothering you, I'll just go." He said as he stood up and left the Great Hall without another word.

Lily stared after him, her mouth wide open. She then turned to Heather, and Remus, who were staring at her. "Oops?" Lily said as she winced, knowing that she had gone too far. "I... I'd better go talk to him..." She said as she gathered her things and settled them in her bag before swinging it over her shoulder and following after him.

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God being a Marauder has it's benefits. James thought as he took secret passage after secret passage until he was up at Gryffindor tower. The Fat Lady, upon seeing him coming, tried to look her best, fixing her curls, as well as trying to get the wrinkles out of her dress. "You-hoo! James!" She called as he approached. "It's been so long since I've seen you!"

James forced a smile and nodded. "I know, it's been a long time. Look, I don't remember the password, but I know Sirius is still sleeping, so If you could just like... let me by? I'm having a rough morning." He said.

"Oh anything for you, and just incase you need to come back, the password is 'pickled parsnips'." She said as she swung forward, allowing him entry.

He wasted no time in saying 'hello' to the Gryffindors who had gathered in the common room, but instead, headed up to his old room, where he could hear Sirius snoring soundly. He threw the door open and strode into the room. "Sirius! Wake up, you wanker! I need a mate!" He said as he tore the covers off of the bed.

Sirius groaned and rolled over, sticking his head beneath his pillow. "Go 'way." He grumbled.

"Padfoot," James whined, as he took a seat on his old bed. Ah, the memories.

"Whaddu you want..." Sirius mumbled as he sat up, rather reluctantly.

"Ah, that's the face I wanted to see..." James replied in a lighter tone. "I dunno... Lily's mad at me... or rather... maybe I'm mad at her?" He wasn't really sure. "She's been studying like mad, and I miss her... and when I said I wanted to spend time together, she flipped." At this, Sirius' eyes widened. James took that as his cue to reinact the situation.

He stood up and started talking like himself, saying that he wanted to spend time with her, then, he jumped in the other direction, and put his hands on his hips, and a squeeky voice to impersonate Lily. "James Potter!" He turned to Sirius and added in his normal tone, "You know, I used to love it when she screamed my name at me, it was almost like having sex with her, without the... well, you know, sex part, which, by the way, was fantastic, and ten times better than her yelling at me angrily after I turned her hair purple... Now It just makes me think I mean nothing to her."

"Just because you thrive on sex doesn't mean I do!" He screeched at the empty air that was supposed to be himself. He turned to Sirius. "I just don't get it mate-- what the hell are you doing? Trying to tell me I should cut my throat?" James asked perplexed at the motion Sirius was making.

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Lily had traveled to the head's dorm, knowing it was all to early for James to go to class, but sadly, found the dorm empty. She furrowed her brow and then nodded to herself. The only other place James would be is in Gryffindor Tower, most likely with Sirius. She had to be right. She just had to. Wasting time like this would only make things worse. She could just picture James thinking that he had stormed off, and Lily had sat right there, and went back to her studying... Had she really been as absorbed as they all said she was? Oh well. Waste not. She started off toward the Tower.

Arriving shortly after, due to some convinient shortcuts that she had learned from James durring a midnight trek to Gryffindor Tower, Lily found herself staring at the Fat Lady. "Oh, Lily! I was wondering when you'd show up. James went up to see Sirius." The portrait crooned at her as she approached.

"I knew it!" She said triumphantly to herself, proud of how well she knew him. "Pickled Parsnips." She uttered the password, causing the Fat Lady to swing open.

She wasted no time in climbing the stairs to the boys Dormitory, walking right up to the door that had once belonged to all four Marauders. The door, slightly ajar, was easy to push open without noise. She saw James recalling the event, and then jump up and repeat it, impersonating her! And... and telling Sirius about... Lily flushed crimson, half in embarassment, half in anger. She shoved the door open more, so that Sirius could see her, causing his eyes to widen, and him to look frantically at James, who was to busy with his monologue to notice. Sirius made frantic motions, trying to get James to shut up before he dug himself a grave. James paused, and asked, " What the hell are you doing? Trying to tell me I should cut my throat?" Before it dawned on him. He froze. "She's behind me, isn't she?"

Sirius nodded gravely.

"She's heard me, didn't she?"

Sirius continued to nod.

"She's bloody angry, isn't she?" James asked, afraid to turn around. It really was like the years prior. James would get insulted, go off on a rant, Lily owuld hear, or know, and get even angrier.

"Right again, James." Lily said scathingly. "I don't beleive you. Here I come to appologize to you, and you're mocking me!" She lowered her voice as if Sirius wasn't able to hear properly. "And you're telling about.. about us!"

"You know, Lily... I am right here, and I did know that you two were... ya know.. before he said anything... I'm not dense." Sirius piped in, before Lily shot him a death look. "Right. Not my business. Well, I'll leave you two to it." He said as he scampered out the door behind Lily, casting a sidelong look at his best mate.

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A/N: Well.. that was shorter than expected, but hey, it's a chapter. And I like cliffies, you all know that! 3 Besides... it leaves me something to write with. Actually... lately my boyfriend and I have been having pretty brutal fights over nothing, and I know how much they hurt, so... Lily and James get to have one too!