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38. – Month Twenty-Six

She was in the kitchen staring rather blankly at a glass full of soda. She hadn't touched it since she poured it in and was watching the bubbles hitting the ice cubes. Why she was staring at the glass when she could be doing anything else was up in the air but she figured her mind was trying to take a mental break. She was waiting for David to start this talk they were set to have, had thought they would try as soon as they woke up this morning, but as usual he wasn't set on following her timeline.

She supposed she should be grateful he had at least gotten in the same bed as her again. Hell, he had gone all the way to spooning up around her, although she admit she felt rejected when he didn't make any indication that he wanted to do anything but sleep. The platonic reaction to having her in the same bed as him was more than a little alarming to her knowing how he usually was with her. The only time he didn't try to cop a feel was when he was angry or so wound up he couldn't think about anything else. When he fell asleep first she tried to convince herself he was as tired as she was after so long without a normal sleep cycle, and that managed to get her to sleep. The feelings of rejection, insecurity, and nervousness returned when she woke up, having slept nearly to noon, to find herself alone.

Feeling tired and far too needy for her taste she got up and ready for the day. She found the house empty once she was dressed, and knowing she had to do something lest she fall off the ledge she was teetering so dangerously upon she went grocery shopping. The cupboards were getting pretty bare and she figured at least she would be full no matter what happened, because her conviction that he was going to walk out were growing by the moment despite what he'd said the day before. Two hours later she was back and everything was put away. McNorris still wasn't here and now she was staring at beverages as if they held the answers to all the world's mysteries. She heaved a sigh at what her life had boiled down to in the last few weeks, her best and only friend was an icy soda. While she thought this wasn't the worst companion ever, she knew it wouldn't talk to her, reassure her, or otherwise make her feel better sort of a quick caffeine hit. And if it did anything other than that it was a sure thing she'd lost her mind.

As she contemplated how thirsty she really was the garage door opened and she jumped at the sound. Her head twisted on her shoulders and David stepped inside with his gym bag in hand, his hands sporting tape marks, and his shirt half soaked with sweet. At least she knew where he had been for so long, at least he was back. She watched him warily and he set the bag down by the door before moving into the kitchen. He stopped about five feet away and leaned against the counter by the sink. He crossed his arms over his chest and watched her, and she lost her nerve and turned back to her drink. "Are you feeling better today, baby doll?"

The use of her pet name had the knots in her stomach loosening, he never called her that when they were fighting, or when he was angry or annoyed. She nodded as she turned fully around and didn't see any anger in him. McNorris had gone into a more passive mode and she felt a lot better all at once. He wasn't in the mood to fight and she could tell he either had some sort of plan, or was at least open to talking. She wondered what had him letting the rage go, her breakdown or his time at the gym. She supposed she shouldn't question it either way and decided to ride on his better feelings toward her. "What do you need from me to fix this?" She was more than willing to be the one to give ground on this one. This was entirely her fault.

"I need to know why you went after her alone. I need to know why you lied to me." She saw the hurt then, and the resentment over what could only be seen as lying and betrayal. "I would have helped you find her."

"Tanner would have taken her in alive if he could have."

"And you wanted her dead?"

"Yes." She admitted without hesitation. "I wanted her dead. I'm glad she's dead." She struggled with herself for a moment before going totally honest with him. "I would do the same thing again if I had the chance. I would make sure you didn't follow me though. I would be sure I was the one that shot her."

"You would have been put in prison." He pointed out.

"No one would have caught me except for you and you never would have turned me in." She knew it was true and it seemed he did too if she were any judge of his expressions and character. "I would have covered everything up. I know how to get rid of evidence." She shrugged. "You know it isn't hard if you know what you're doing."

Ghost boy was at a loss. "You really would have killed her."

She thought that was pretty damn obvious considering the scuffle they had in that warehouse. "Yes, I would have."

He rubbed his hand over his hair, ruffling it up. "I don't know what to say, Darcy. How do you expect me to feel about this? That you would have murdered her if you could have? If I had been half a second later you would have."

She thought she might cry again and she didn't want to do that. As upset as she was she thought he might view that as a form of manipulation and that was the last thing she wanted. Looking at the floor she thought about the best way to answer. "I don't know what I expect. If I were you I would leave and not come back. I don't know what you want me to say." She turned her gaze up again so he could see her face. "I wasn't thinking about anything but getting her. There was never any thought about what would happen after." Her voice was getting ragged. "I had to end it, David. I had to stop her before she got me again. I had to get her before she got you. I know you know what it's like to be hurt, but you don't know what it's like to be held down and tortured wishing you were dead because at least that would make everything stop. You don't know what it's like to watch someone you love shot in front of you."

A single tear fell down her cheek as she spoke. "I loved Jason so much. He was the first person I ever met that didn't make fun of me for being so smart or use me because of it. Even my parents used me in their own way; they would show me off and make me perform for a crowd. Jason just loved me for being me and it was wonderful." Another tear trailed down her cheek. "And then she took him away from me and hurt me in ways you can't even begin to imagine. The only thing that made anything better when I woke up in the hospital was knowing she was dead, that I killed her, that it was me that stopped a monster. That was the only thing that kept me from loosing my mind." She paused again. "It was the only thing that got me through the pain and the rehabilitation. It was the only thing that got me to do anything at all." She wiped her cheeks quickly. "When Tanner told me she was still alive it was like I was back in that basement again. She would have killed you, ghost boy." She knew that was true. If Dana had gotten away from her, if she hadn't gotten what she wanted, McNorris would have been her next stop. "I never expected to love anyone again after what happened. I didn't want too, but you wiggled your way into my life and I thought it was safe because she was gone." Unsure of what he was thinking she shifted her weight yet again. "I could live with being a murder, David, I couldn't live with letting her kill you too." She floundered rather horribly. "I was afraid. I'm still afraid."

The disgust he had been trying to hide when he realized how committed she was to killing Dana vanished. It had been replaced with understanding and worry. "You should have let Tanner get her."

"I was afraid she would get away from him again."

He nodded. "She probably would have." Uncrossing his arm he held his hand out to her and she took it quickly. He pulled her gently until they were standing next to one another with the counter at their backs. He was quiet for a few moments before he spoke. "Thank you for being honest with me."

"You're welcome."

"Now it's my turn to be honest with you." She nodded as her stomach sank. She waited silently for the knife to fall. "I don't think I can help you the way you need to be helped."

So he was leaving her then. "Oh."

"I made a few calls this morning. I found a psychologist I think you should start seeing." What? "He specializes in trauma and torture victims. His name is Brian Liebert. He told me he could work you in on Thursday."

"You made me an appointment with a psychologist?" She asked in disbelief.

"I promised you I would help you." He squeezed her hand. "But I don't know how to do that, not the way you need. I'm a lawyer for a reason, and let's face it you're the only one of us that's any good at dealing with emotions. If he's even half as good as you are then I think this will help you a lot. I think you should have seen someone two years ago after this happened the first time. I don't like you being afraid all the time and I know you are. You were still having nightmares even before she came here after you again. If he can do something for you then you need to go."

He was right about all of that. "I'll go."

"I want you to go because you think it's a good idea, not to pacify me. If you don't think this is what you need I want you to tell me now. I'm not the kind of person that can go into a room and talk to a stranger about the things that happened to me, if you're the same way then I understand. If you would rather talk to me then we can do that, but I'm not sure I can respond to what you'll tell me the way you need me to." He met her eyes and squeezed her hand again. "So tell me what would be better for you."

"I'll go." She repeated.

"Okay, I have all the information on him in the office. You can be sure he's the one you should go see. I'm only going on a recommendation, you're the expert."

"Whose recommendation?"

He sighed in annoyance. "Hirsch."

Despite the whole situation they were discussing her lip twitched like crazy. "You called Michael?"

"He is a psychiatrist."

Her lip twitched harder. "You called Michael because he's the best didn't you?"

David wasn't thrilled with her amusement, but she felt normality returning all at once. "No, I called Hirsch because he's the only one that even comes close to competing with you. Now stop rubbing it in. It was a horrible thing to have to do. You're lucky I love you."

"I am." She went serious again. "Did you tell him I was the one that needed to see this man?"

"No, I told him I had a client I thought needed some help."

She wished Michael weren't as smart as he was at that moment. "So he knows it's for me then?"

David sighed. "Most likely."

"At least he won't say anything to anybody." She figured Michael would let this go, pretend David had never called, never mention anything about this again. "Thank you for calling him. I know how much you hate asking him for anything."

"It was for you." He said, as if that meant it hadn't bothered him at all even though she knew he had to swallow his pride to even think about asking Hirsch anything, let alone for a favor, because she knew well enough that if she had been worked into the doctor's schedule in less than a week some sort of favor had been called.

"You're a good friend, ghost boy."

Letting her hand go he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her against his side. She twisted so she was in front of him and wrapped her arms around his waist in a loose hug as she set her head on his shoulder. "I'm glad your safe, baby doll. You scared the hell out of me."

"I'm sorry."

"I know." He kissed the top of her head. "I think we should both agree to let this go. It's not doing anything but upsetting either of us."

While that might be her greatest wish she saw a slight flaw in the plan. "I may have to bring this up later. I'm not sure what this psychologist will want me to do in therapy."

"Talking about it and letting it go are two separate things."

That was true she supposed. "I would like that."

"Me too." He admitted quietly as he ran his hand over her back and set his cheek on the top of her head. She tightened her arms around him and they stood there for a few minutes breathing each other in. David was the first to move and he lifted his head and kissed her cheek. "We've been holed up in this house or work for weeks. Let's go out somewhere."

That sounded really great. "Where do you want to go?"

He thought about that for a minute. "We haven't been to the pier in a long time. Why don't we go down there?"

"That sounds nice." She moved out of his embrace reluctantly. "How long will it take you to get ready?"

"Ten minutes." He ushered her toward their bedroom. "Faster than you even if I do have to take a shower."

"Is that a challenge I hear?" She asked teasingly.

"It might be." He replied, his eyes twinkling.

"Oh, it's on, ghost boy." He barked out a laugh as she made a dash for their room. He chased after her and the race was on. He only beat her by fifteen seconds but she blamed him for a thirty-second distraction when he got handsy; that really clinched it for him.

When they walked in the door hours later, happily worn out from the sunshine and sea air, David picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. She laughed cheerfully, relaxed and content again after their date. She had a wonderful time with him and she figured he had just as much fun because he had flirted and joked with her the whole time they were out. Somewhere, about an hour in, everything had shifted to what they used to be. It seemed ghost boy wanted to make that official by getting her naked as he carried her to their bed.

"That was fun, Darcy, let's have some more."

She snickered at his lecherous tone. "You really only think about one thing don't you?"

"No, I just come back to it over and over again between thinking about other things."

Her snickers turned into full-blown belly laughter as he walked her into the bedroom. "You're rotten, McNorris."

"I agree." He said amicably as he flipped her over and tossed her onto the mattress. She grinned and reached for him eagerly. He was already right next to the bed and grabbing at the bottom of her shirt. He paused as she undid his belt and glanced around. "Are you sure the cameras are all gone?"

She grinned up at him as she tugged the leather out of his pant loops. "One hundred percent sure."

"Excellent." He yanked her shirt up and off her, dislodging her hands as he did so. "That means we can get as loud as we want."

"That sounds promising." She said as she got the fly of his pants open. He growled down at her and then tugged on her shoulders. Getting the less than subtle hint she sent him a smoky smile and slid off the bed and onto her knees. "Want me to make you get loud first, ghost boy?"

His hand tangled in her hair as she opened his pants and he held onto her shoulder with the other. His eyes were locked on her as she pulled him out and he muttered under his breath the minute she touched him. His fingers tickled her scalp and she rose up a little on her knees before taking him into her mouth. "God, Darcy." He groaned as she rolled her tongue. He groaned and did his best to restrain himself as she drove him crazy. She really didn't do this all that often and she could tell he never wanted to try his luck when she did, so he behaved himself as best he could. His low muttered curses and the slight tightening of his fingers in her hair were as far as he was going to go. She looked at him from under her lashes and he let go of her hair and grabbed at her shoulders. He pulled her off the floor and she didn't manage to keep her balance as he picked her up and put her on the bed. "I would love for you to go back to that later." He stated, and she took that to mean she was too hot to resist at the moment, it really was a morale boost.

She smirked at how eager he was to have her. Usually he could last, but not right now. That had her lust ratcheting up and she sat up long enough to pull her shirt over her head. David was ripping his own clothes off and then he was crawling into bed with her. He nipped at her neck once before finding her lips and kissing her hard. She wrapped her arms around shoulders and he slid his hand under her back and slid her farther up on the bed.

Lifting her leg she crooked it up and wrapped it over his leg. He sucked on her bottom lip before letting it go. "Why are you still wearing clothes?"

Her eyes twinkled. "You haven't taken them off me yet."

"How silly of me." He lifted himself off her and his legs went on either side of her legs as he reached down to unbutton her pants. A moment later and he was tugging

at the denim and she lifted her hips to help him. He grabbed her panties as he went and when she was left in nothing but her bra he pounced back down on her. She giggled at him; feeling like she was a teenager necking again, and he popped the clasp on her bra quickly. Slipping the straps off her arms he tossed the fabric over his shoulder and she saw it hit the standing lamp in the corner. It hung there precariously and she was distracted by the fabric swinging, wondering how he managed to have the strap catch on the small knob and he looked over his shoulder to see what she was looking at. When he saw it he rolled his eyes. "Do you think you could focus for me?"

"It's always want, want, want with you. What are you? Six?"

He kissed her to make her be quiet; at least she was pretty sure that's why he did it. When he lifted his head his eyebrow was raised. "I'm seducing you and you are looking at a lamp with more interest than me."

"Well perhaps if you were debauch me properly, instead of with all the grace and decorum of an excited moose, I might be looking at you. However, I would like to point out that you glow as brightly as the bulb when you stand out in the sun, you're both so white and shiny." He stared down at her, his expression dry. "It's really a toss up for me."

Lowering his head he whispered into her ear. "Darcy, I haven't had you in over a week. I don't know if you're crazed or driving me insane on purpose, but you're really driving me crazy."

Snickering at him, she caught his face and pulled his lips down to hers. "It's on purpose." She told him.

He growled and kissed her again. This time she focused fully on him and he nudged her legs encouragingly. Figuring it would be to her benefit to help him out and cradled his hips with her legs. He deepened his kisses and pushed against her eagerly. Letting go of his face she reached between them and positioned him. He pressed inside her quickly and she let out a low moan. David sighed in satisfaction and when he bottomed out in her he went still. Propping himself on one arm he slid the other up and cupped her face. "I knew it." He murmured before he kissed her again. "Love you."

That had her getting even wetter and she rolled her hips. "Love you too." She ran her hands over his back. "Make me scream, ghost boy." He smirked and began to move. She let out a whimper of pleasure and hooked her leg over his. Reaching down he hooked his arm under her opposite knee and pushed it up at the same time he thrust forward. It pushed him in deeper than before and he choked on a breath. She could tell he was proud of himself for that and began to move faster. Her nails dug into his lower back as she dragged him closer and he let out a grunt at the sting. Twisting his hips in retribution had her gasping as he drove her up. "Yes!" She hissed.

"What was that?" He asked gruffly. "I didn't hear you."

"Yes." She panted.

He twisted his hips and mocked her teasingly. "Louder, Darcy." He kissed her briefly and their bodies slid together slickly. "Scream."

"Make me." She challenged.

He twisted his hips again and she jerked. "Say that again?"

Her eyes locked on his and she saw the glint of lustful satisfaction in his eyes. She responded to that by squeezing her inner muscles around him. He cursed and the hand on her calf tightened. "Make me." She repeated. Growling at her he pressed into her harder and she bit her lip to stop herself from letting out any noise.

"That's cheating." He panted.

"There are rules now?" The question ended on a gasp.

His head feel to her shoulder and he laughed breathlessly as he continued to move. "I have yet to meet a rule that applies to you." He kissed her shoulder. "I'm going to make you scream before this is over."

She was very sure that was true. Her body was starting to tighten up and she clutched at him harder. "David!" She whined. Lifting his head he gazed down at her as he felt her loosing control. Lifting her head up she kissed his shoulders more than a little frantically. He clutched at her leg harder and lost his pace completely. He started to get tense as he fought off the inevitable. His jerky movement set her off and she threw her head back on the pillow and arched against him with a cry. The second he heard it he let go too and the sound of her name killed her ears as he flatted himself over her. They pressed against one another for several seconds as pleasure crashed through them and they finally went slack.

Panting happily she kept her leg wrapped around him as he tried to catch his breath. Reaching up she ran her hand through his hair, ruffling it up, content with where they were. He shifted and kissed her cheek before rolling off her. Grumbling at him had his lip twitching up in amusement for a moment. Reaching over he tugged her against his side and ran the tips of his fingers over the bare skin of her shoulder after she cuddled up against him. "We need to decide when we're going to go to Salt Lake."

Shifting her head she gazed up at him. "You still want to take me?"

"Of course I still want to take you." He said that as if she had asked an utterly ridiculous question. "Mary e-mailed me a few days ago about her schedule. I think if we take off a Monday and a Friday we can make it a long weekend."

"Don't you want to visit longer than that?" Four days with airfare really wasn't that long. It only gave them two full days and they would be traveling most of the rest of the time.

"Yes, but you have less vacation time than me and I want to meet your parents sometime this year."

That had her momentarily speechless because he sent her spiraling in an entirely different direction. "You want to what?"

"Meet your parents."

She shot that idea down before he could go any farther with it. "No."

He frowned. "Embarrassed by me?"

"No." She said at once, that thought had never even crossed her mind. "I don't want to see my parents, not anytime in the near future, and I certainly don't want to subject you to that type of insanity."

He raised an eyebrow. "If you can deal with my father dropping in out of the blue I think I can take your parents when we go for a visit."

"No, David."

"We're going before you get pregnant." He stated, leaving no room for argument. "I want them to know who I am."

She fussed at him but it had no effect. Finally, she gave in and told him what she was thinking. "They really aren't going to like you at all."

That had him barking out a laugh. "And why's that?"

She listed off the reasons. "I like you, you're a lawyer, you won't have anything in common with them, you play politics, and you're a manipulative bastard." She would have thrown alcoholic on the list even if he was clean now, but she had no intention of letting her parents know that about him. It was none of their business unless he decided to tell them that. "Plus, once again, I don't want to see them."

He seemed to find all her reasons to his liking, ignoring the last one entirely. His eyes were shinning with amusement. "Why would it bother them that you like me?"

"My mother thinks I have a horrible fondness for brutish thugs. When she finds out I went from a marine intelligence officer to a street fighting DDA she's going to flip out." There was a pause before he threw his head back into the pillow and laughed. She rolled her eyes and started to sit up. "I'm glad you're amused."

Grabbing her around the waist he pulled her back with a playful growl. She yipped at the sudden move and he tossed her back over the blankets before rolling on top of her. "I look forward to your mother disliking me as much as my father disliked you. We'll be even that way."

She sent him a dry look. "You are so weird, ghost boy."

He smirked and nibbled at her ear. "Mother-in-laws are supposed to dislike their son-in-laws. That's a natural part of the human social structure in western culture. I promise not to make you stay long. One day, just long enough to meet them."

"Okay, throwing around fake anthropology to win an argument is not going to fly."

He moved his lips down to her neck, making a warm trail that had her body flushing. "It's not fake. I'm sure someone somewhere wrote a paper about it. I'll find it for you later when we aren't in the middle of a mating ritual."

That had her laughing and he smiled into her skin. "Have you noticed that our mating rituals never end after the actual mating? We always end up in round two or three. I blame you and your horniness."

"Me and my horniness?" He asked as his hand slid between her legs. "You can't blame this on me when you keep jumping me."

"What?" She laughed out.

"Don't blame yourself, I know I'm irresistible."

"Oh, bullshit, David." She said as she wiggled, his fingers are really doing a number on her. "I'm clearly the irresistible one in this relationship."

"And how do you come to that conclusion?"

She tried to think as he teased her. "You were the one chasing me for over a year, not the other way around."

He thought about that for a half a second. "You let me chase you on purpose because you wanted me."

"That is most convoluted thing I've ever heard. You're just trying to make me the bad guy."

"I'm most certainly not trying to make you a guy, but you are bad. Naughty woman."

She bated his hand away so she could argue properly. There was no way to outthink him when he was rubbing her toward an orgasm and they both knew it. "You admit I'm the irresistible one or this mating ritual will not end in said mating."

He huffed at her as he tried to weasel his way out of that. He tried to put his hand back and she caught it. "You can't use your feminine whiles to win an argument."

Please, she did it all the time. "It seems as if I can." She said as she shifted and rubbed against him. Moving her head she whispered into his ear. "Admit it and we can continue." She bit his ear. "Surrender to me, you know you want to, ghost boy."

"You know I don't like to loose, baby doll."

"Don't view it as loosing." She said, intent on winning. "I mean, you get to have sex with me again if you say I'm right." He huffed in annoyance and glared down at her. She smirked up at him and tangled her hand in his hair, pulling his face closer to hers. When they were a millimeter apart she whispered into his mouth. "Come on, tell me I'm pretty."

He studied her for a second and then she saw him go shrewd. "You're more than pretty." He kissed her lightly, his lips barely brushing hers. "You're drop dead gorgeous."

She smiled at that, but knew that wasn't what he had to say for her to win. "Irresistibly gorgeous." She stated, preening.

"Gorgeous." He agreed.

She wasn't giving up that easily. She titled her hips so she could tease him. "Irresistibly gorgeous?" She prompted.

He growled and kissed her again. She raised her eyebrow and he grumbled as he gave in. "Irresistibly gorgeous." He said glumly.

She smiled brilliantly and he rolled his eyes. Snickering, she wrapped her legs around his waist and cooed at him. "So sweet to your wife." She kissed him and he grumbled into her mouth even as he got hard again. "Your irresistible wife is now even more in love with you than before and willing to bend whichever way you want." She pecked his cheek. "One day after we see your sister." That pacified him and he let the loss to her go as he flipped her to her back. She laughed into the blankets and lifted her rear end for him. This was so much better than before. This was how things were supposed to be, and as soon as they finished this she was sure they would go back to planning family things. She really hoped that it was the most important thing they talked about for a very long time.

Author Note: Stress = poor writing Had to wait till I was better, sorry."