Pulling Me Through
Hope everyone enjoys and please review!
Chapter Thirty-Six
One month later
Riley's POV
The past month had been one of the best months of my life. We uploaded the Black Veil Brides music video on YouTube and check it every single day. The last time I checked it had reached 200,000 views with mostly positive feedback. I was really beginning to think that this could be the thing that's going to get Black Veil Brides signed. Pregnancy was getting worse though. I can't wait for the next four months to be over. Even turning over in bed proved to be a difficult task.
When I woke up that morning, I was in the arms of Andy. I turned slightly so I could see his face and I thought I was going to explode with happiness. His hand was resting on my stomach and he had fallen asleep with a smile on his face. It was like he had been bonding with the baby whilst I had been fast asleep. I was perfectly content with lying here, watching Andy smile, but then I realised how weird it would look if he woke up.
I shrugged out of his arms carefully so I didn't wake him up and tiptoed to the bathroom, grabbing any clothes that I thought would fit me as I went past. I quickly changed into a pair of loose jeans and a baggy 'Avenged Sevenfold' tee. Why did being pregnant make me look like a tramp? I slammed my hand on the counter in anger at not being able to wear tight jeans. The smallest thing never failed to make me angry at the minute. I nearly jumped out of my skin when a pair of arms wrapped around my waist. I turned my head to see that it was Andy who was giving me the hug from behind.
"What's made you so angry?" He whispered into my ear, sending shills down my spine. My head fell back ever so slightly so it was resting on his chest. His finger traced lines up and down my arm as he gently kissed my cheek. I felt all feelings of any anger drain away.
"Look at the state of me" I mumbled as I looked down at myself. I felt like I looked disgusting. I don't even know why Andy was hugging me. Who would want to hug this lump of baggage?
"You're beautiful" He argued. I suppressed the urge to laugh and the urge to cry. How could he lie like that?
"I'm horrendous. Beautiful is no longer a word to describe someone like me" I complained. Yes, I couldn't wait to hold the baby, but I never knew that being pregnant would make me this miserable.
"The kind of person that you are is the girl who has the glow of a mother-to-be and that is the most beautiful thing any girl can harbour" Andy whispered again. His words made me feel better. People would understand that I was pregnant and I would be the girl who's cheerful over the fact that she's about to have a newborn baby in her arms.
"I love you" I sighed as I turned around and wrapped my arms around his neck. I couldn't see him, but I knew he was grinning. His hand found my chin as he guided it upwards so I was forced to look into his eyes. He leaned down ever so slightly as I stood up as tall as I could possibly be. He pressed his lips to mine, all feelings over self consciousness forgotten. I could help but grin as let his hands entangle in my hair. I pulled away from him and smile widely.
"What do you want to do today?" He asked, his fingers lacing together with mine. I thought for what felt like hours when I finally figured out the perfect place to go to.
"Do you remember the back we went to when I was pregnant the first time?" I asked, trying hard not to sound miserable when I said 'pregnant the first time.'
"Yeah, I remember that beach" He said. "I'll just get ready and we can go down."
"Don't take too long" I sighed as I pecked his cheek lightly. He nodded as he gently pushed me out of the bathroom. I glared playfully as he shut the door, a click telling me that he had locked it. Sighing, I walked over to where my shoes lay and picked them up. I took my seat at the edge of the bed as I pushed my feet into them. Putting on a pair of shoes seemed to get harder every day.
I sat in silence as I waited for Andy to come out of the bathroom. He was normally pretty quick at getting dressed on a morning and today was no different. The door clicked again and it opened, revealing a completely ready Andy. His eyes had a thicker line of eye liner than it normally does and his hair was bigger. He wore black jeans, black vest top and a black leather jacket. He really looked like he was pushing the stereotypical 'emo' look.
"You're trying very hard today, aren't you?" I laughed. He sauntered over to me and bent down at the edge of the bed.
"You know you love it" He whispered. I couldn't stop the giggle that just seemed to pop out.
"You know I do" I mumbled as I let my hand rest on each side of his face as I brought his lips closer to mine to kiss him again. Every time I tried to pull him closer he pulled away, teasingly. I finally let go and grinned at him as he took my hand and pulled me up off the bed, grabbing my waist to make sure I didn't fall.
"Let's go" He sighed as he led me out of the bedroom and downstairs.
Andy's POV
I led her to the passenger seat of the car and pulled open the door for her, being a gentleman. She grinned again as she slid into her seat, the door closing behind her. I hurried over to my side of the car and hopped in, escaping the cold air even though it was August. The rain pattered on the windshield lightly as I put the key in ignition, my lip ring feeling warmer by the minute. In my periphery I could see Riley opening the glove box to retrieve a CD. She placed 'Kiss the sun goodbye' in the CD player and started blasting 'Undead Heart.'
"I didn't know you liked these guys" I commented. She looked over at me as though I was physically mental.
"I love these guys" She retorted. I grinned as I sang along.
"Josie's in love, tonight, with the undead. She sacrificed all she had" I sang, not caring that the window was rolled down and I was getting funny looks off passers-by. I could hear Riley giggling at my stupidity and before long, I couldn't go on from laughing too hard. We sat in silence, the occasional giggle emitting from us. We soon arrived at the beach that, I didn't think, had a name. Riley hopped out of the car so fast that I was half convinced that I had imagined it, but she was standing outside with a grin on her face. I didn't know why, but this beach seemed to mean a lot to her. I fell into stride with her as I took her hand in mine, concern taking over me when I felt how cold she was. I dropped her hand and wrapped an arm around her in an effort to warm her up a bit. She let her hand rest on my chest as we walked down the steps that led to the golden sand that seems to be losing its colour. It looked whiter than it did last time we came here. Riley still looked pleased with it.
"Hey, later on we should go to that fish shop again" Riley sighed. I nodded as I made me grip around her tighter once I felt that she was still cold. Again, the beach was deserted except for Riley and I wandering on the sand, looking out at the sea with pink noses from the sharp wind and, slightly damp hair of the rain that felt like mist. We both had our hoods up and pulled out a pair of gloves. She soon changed the direction of where we were walking and headed for the patch of grass that was at the edge of the sand. It was overgrown and when she sat down, it was a wonder I could ever see her. She patted the spot next to her so I thumped down and wrapped an arm around her, her bump only slightly visible in the baggy hoodie she was wearing that still managed to make her look divine. I lay down and pulled her down with me, moving her head so it rested on my chest. She gathered up my leather jacket in her fist and held on as she shivered. My grip on her tightened, still as I desperately tried to make her comfortable.
"Maybe we should sit in the car for a while" I suggested, but she shook her head adamantly.
"I might be pregnant, but I can still handle cold hair" She laughed as she relaxed slightly, determined to make me see that she was indeed fine. My hand rested on her stomach as I gently let my thumb stroke it, knowing that my little girl was in there. I tried to stop myself, but it was pretty much impossible. It was my daughter and I wanted to see if I could bond with her before she was born.
"You should try and talk to her" Riley whispered. I thought I would look stupid, but it was something that I had thought of multiple times. I just didn't have the courage to do it. I looked up at her with a weird look clearly marked on my face.
"Have you ever tried talking to her?" I asked. It was stupid of me to not want to do it unless Riley had, but I needed reassurance.
"Of course I have. I kind of believe that she can hear and understand me. I like to tell her what's going on in the family" She admitted. I could see her blush, but I just found it cute. Sighing, I moved so I was practically straddling her, my mouth in line with her belly.
"Um, hey Savannah. It's your dad here" I greeted. I felt stupid, but as more words came tumbling out the more normal it seemed. "I can't wait to see your beautiful face when your mum gives birth."
"I can't wait to see your face either" Riley called down. I looked up at her and grinned as I quickly moved so I could press my lips to her cheek briefly. I returned to her stomach and tried to think of what else I could say to her.
"Hey, you're going to love your Uncle Jake. He's the fun guy and I want you to know that you can trust Jinxx with your life. If you ever need boy tips the go to Ashley and CC... well he's just CC" I laughed. "I'd leave boys alone until you were at least eighteen, though."
"Hey, she can show an interest to guys at whatever age she likes" Riley argued with a grin planted on her face. I shook my head playfully, but still stood up, holding my hand out for her to take. Her palms touched mine as I closed my grip on it, her hand feeling warmer than it did just a few moments ago. I pulled her up from where she lay and led her to where the fish shop stood.
Riley's POV
I allowed him to lead me to the fish shop. The last time we sat there we had discussed what we were going to do with the baby. We had said that we would wait until the scan and then decided. Little did we know that the scan would tell us that our baby was dead. I still choked up every time I thought of that time. I felt tears stinging my eyes, but I blinked several times to stop them from falling. I didn't want to ruin this moment with Andy. My feet sunk slightly and I struggled to walk across the sand. Having a bump didn't help co-ordination either. Andy kept one hand on my elbow and the other on my waist, making me walk a little bit in front of him so I didn't fall. I appreciated his concern for me, but it made me feel like a bit of an invalid.
When we arrived at the fish shop, I suddenly started getting hungrier than I thought was possible. My belly rumbled loudly and I blushed as I turned away from Andy.
"Better feed the baby" Andy commented as my blush deepened. It felt nice to know that I was kind of learning how to be a mother just by eating. No. Being a mother is going to be a hell of a lot harder than that.
We stepped into the warmth and brightness of the fish shop. My nose made me feel like I needed a tissue due to the temperature change. I headed over to the seats in the corner of the room and thumped down in the very corner.
"What do you want?" Andy asked me as he followed me over to the table. I pulled a face that definitely read confusion as I studied the illuminated board that took its place above the woman wearing a green apron.
"I'll just get a portion if chips" I sighed as nothing else on the menu took my fancy. They all managed to make me feel sick. Andy nodded once in conformation before striding over to the counter and placing the order. He stood there as he waited for the woman to sort out our food, occasionally turning to smile at me. He returned with two polystyrene cartons with chips mounded high. I took mine off him and began to eat like the robot that I was last time we came here. Andy copied my movements as we sat in complete silence. I was desperate to fill it with anything, but luckily Andy did.
"At least we don't have to discuss whether or not we want to keep the baby" Andy chuckled. I grinned and nodded, but I still felt sad at the fact that the only reason we couldn't discuss that was because our baby died. Andy let his hand rest on mine, sensing that something was bothering me and I knew that he knew exactly what it was.
"We're going to be holding this baby in four months time" I sighed, trying my hardest to lighten the mood. Judging by Andy's bright smile, it worked. He chuckled again and this time I could join in with it not being forced. As I turned around, I could see the woman who served us smiling brightly at me. She knew that I was pregnant and she knew exactly what we were laughing at. Maybe Andy was right about the pregnant glow. I couldn't help hoping that he was right.
"I can't wait" He laughed as he picked up another chip. It was me who copied him this time.
"The hospital is going to end up busy when we have the baby" I sighed. Andy shot me a confused look so I sighed and explained. "Jake, Jinxx, CC, Ashley, Sammi, Sandra and my dad are going to be standing in the corridor. It's going to start looking like an episode of 'friends', but worse.
"Oh, yeah I never thought about that. She's never going to stop being passed around" Andy laughed. I had the image of Sammi holding the baby, cooing and giggling and then passing her to Jinxx. I couldn't wait for them all to see her.
"Can you believe that ten months ago we didn't even know each other?" I asked. I couldn't help finding it weird. Ten months ago, I was still living with my dad and Jake wouldn't shut up about how the new singer was awesome. How was I ever supposed to know that the day I begged to go to band practice was the day I would fall in love with the guy who's the father of my baby.
"Ten months ago, I had just joined Black Veil Brides and was nervous as hell all the time" Andy sighed. My head cocked to one side as I tried to think of what could possibly make Andy nervous.
Coming up with nothing, I asked "Why were you nervous?"
"I'd just started a new school and band and I was surrounded by new people who I knew would hate me" Andy explained. I nodded slowly as I thought about how oblivious I was. It must have been hard to not even have parents to make you feel better and comfortable. When he moved here, he was completely on his own. He knew nobody in this area. I sent a comforting smile to him to make him feel better.
"Do you want to go home?" I asked. He shook his head adamantly.
"This day is supposed to make you happy. How are you going to be happy by going home early?" He asked. I rolled my eyes at the simple fact that he was always putting me first which never failed to make me feel guilty.
"I' happy just be with you. It doesn't matter where we are" I retorted. This time it was him who rolled his eyes.
"So, what made you want to come here again?" He asked. I bit my lips as I tried to think of a suitable answer.
"We both seemed happy last time we came here and no one managed to ruin anything for us" I answered with a smile.
"No one can ever ruin anything for us" He whispered as he pressed his lips to my own for a brief moment.
Andy's POV
When we finished our food I took it over to the bin that lay in the other corner of the room. Yes, the restaurant was very simplistic. I took Riley's hand in my own again as we both smiled at the waitress who served us. Her eyes flickered down to Riley's stomach, a grin rising to my face when Riley blushed and turned away. I let go of her hand and wrapped my arm around her waist as our feet hit the sand again. Riley continued to guide me in the direction that was simply random. She often enjoyed just wandering and looking at anything that was in her peripheral vision.
"Where are we headed?" I asked her, but she simply shook her head. I knew now that she had no idea where she was even going and she was just walking up and down on the edge of the sea line, the occasional wave catching our shoes.
"Where do you want to go?" She asked. I shook my head, not having a clue where we could possibly go except for the beach that always seemed deserted.
"I'm not bothered about wandering up and down the sand" I answered and she giggled as she changed direction for what seemed like the hundredth time. I reluctantly followed, glad that she was heading in the direction that the car was in. I followed her up to the black Passat. Riley slid in her seat with the same elegance as last time. I got into the driver's seat and put the key in ignition, the car roaring to life. Reversing, I headed back home with Riley yawning all the way. She really did need to rest a lot lately. Oh, how I'm glad it's not the guys who have the babies.
"I just want to go to sleep" Riley complained as she led her head rest on the window that was rapidly steaming up.
"We'll be home soon" I soothed as I turned one of the corners that held a sign claiming that our street was within the next three we would drive through. She mumbled something incoherent as I carried on turning corners, finally arriving at our street. I slowed down as I moved down the street, ready to park at number fifty-three. I parked up as Riley opened her door and headed to the house. I followed her and jammed the key in the door and turned. Another click telling us it was unlocked. Riley walked in first and headed for the living room where she thumped down and sighed.
"I'm going to sleep here" She sighed. I grinned, lowering myself so I could kiss the top of her head which she welcomed. I turned round to see Jake in the kitchen, opening the fridge to get a bottle of water. He turned again and smiled brightly at me, his face turning into one of amusement when he saw Riley asleep on the sofa.
"Doesn't look like she's going to be able to do much until she's had the baby" Jake commented. I nodded knowingly as I walked with him to the island in the middle of the kitchen, closing the door behind me so I didn't wake Riley up. I sat on the stool opposite Jake as he opened the bottle of water taking a swig of it, offering a drink to me when he screwed the top back on. Shaking my head, I sighed loudly.
"Riley is not going to rest for four months even if she knows it's best for everyone" I complained. Jake nodded, rolling his eyes. He loved Riley, but everyone knew that she could be a pain in the ass.
"I wish she'd just listen to people for once in her life" Jake sighed. I nodded, obviously annoyed that I had given up in trying to knock sense into Riley about trying to relax more.
"Surely she should listen to you" I suggested, but my thoughts were crushed when Jake shook his head slowly.
"I would be the last person she would listen to if I was trying to lecture her. She goes on a rant about how I'm not her dad and then doesn't talk to me for ages" Jake explained. I could feel my eyes go wide at what he said.
"Riley ignores you for ages when you try and help her?" I asked, receiving a nod from Jake.
"We might act like we're really close, but when we argue then it's serious" Jake said. I suddenly felt bad for the two. It must have been so difficult when their mum died and their dad turned into a drunk. Riley and Jake must have argued all the time. They would have both felt so alone, but it's not my place to ask or talk about it. Shrugging it off, I managed what I hoped was a comforting smile, but I probably failed. I guess I'll never know.
"I suppose I'll take Riley upstairs and go to sleep myself" I sighed, standing up and leaving the kitchen, not waiting to hear what Jake had to say next. When I walked into the living room, Riley was asleep on the sofa with her eyes clamped tightly shut. I picked her bridal style, careful not to wake her and carried her up the stairs. As soon as we entered the bedroom I placed her on the bed carefully and lay down next to her. She was still asleep, but as soon as I was lying down she managed to pull me closer, her smile that last thing I got to see before I joined the dream world with her.
Hope you enjoy! I've got a question for the readers of this. When Riley gives birth (I mean like when she's in labour and when they get to see the baby for the first time) who's point of view do you want it to be in. Andy's or Riley's. If you could just leave a review and tell me who you think then that would be amazing. Again, I hope you enjoy it and don't forget about the question ;)