Great…more riding. Why was I doing this, again? I didn't know a thing about battle, I was tired of riding… I'd never even held a sword or any sort of weapon before! If anything, I was just a burden.

Lumpkins did his best to keep up with the full sized horses, which left me struggling to hang on as he lurched forward. Luckily, Olivia (with Merry) slowed her pace to stay by me.

I never did get to see Erica or Hannah… I wondered where they went. Hannah was always up for adventure, and Erica was definitely not the type to miss out on a battle. With a shrug, I decided they must be somewhere in the group.

Aside from the annoyingly painful bumping of the ride, the journey was insanely boring. That was, until I heard Olivia furiously giggling. I glanced up, and saw she was holding her iPod Touch in one hand, typing something onto the screen.

"What's so funny?" I asked through gritted teeth.

Olivia giggled again. "Give me the name of a college."

What? "Um… Harvard."

"Now a College Major."

"Pharmaceutical?"

"Now the name of a guy."

"Frodo!" Well, that should've been obvious.

She kept asking me a whole bunch of those kinds of questions, giggling after each one and typing on her iPod. Finally, she burst out laughing.

"What?" I was really annoyed at this point.

"Well… You'll live in a shack-" she began.

I cut her off. "You have a MASH app?"

"Shh! As I was saying, you'll live in a shack, graduate from the Farmer's Academy majoring in Bounty Hunting, you'll marry Boromir and be proposed to during a battle. You'll get married at 46, and get married in Edoras. Your wedding colors will be baby pink and cream, spend your honeymoon in Barad-Dur, and you will settle down in Shangri-La. You will have 18 kids, two girls and sixteen boys, and make $30,000 per year. You will spend your days as a single mother, get around on a gold pony, and have a Guinea Pig named Dog. Your spouse will make $1,000 a year as a chef. Your spouse will travel in a moped, and you will die unnaturally at 83. The end!" she, again, began giggling.

I rolled my eyes, and we continued our trip in silence. Oddly enough, no one ever pointed out the hobbit and pony among their ranks.

It took somewhere around six hours, I'd guess, but eventually we arrived at the battlefield. The sounds of swords clinging, enemies chanting, and people screaming could be heard already. And we were going to go charging headfirst into this?

Theoden, from in front of the group, began to shout something. Probably a motivating speech or something, I wasn't really paying attention. Then came the call we'd all been anticipating yet dreading…

"Charge!"

A/N: Yes, Olivia has a MASH app, which I, too, happen to have. I filled one out as I wrote this for even more authenticity, so the results I posted were the actual ones I got when I made this joke test for Sydney.