38
It was official.
He was fat.
He grunted as he tried to reach his foot again, the bloody slipper almost on but needing a push but as he got there it….
Fell off.
Ianto grunted as he shifted closer to the edge of the bed and leaned over, well OK tipped sideways and then came the need to pee.
NOW
Fuck.
Ianto rose and waddled to the bathroom where he opened the only robe that didn't sound loud when he walked, yeah right, don't fucking scoff. Robes make noises, really.
He stood and sighed as he emptied his poor bladder then looked over and got a glimpse of himself in the mirror.
Fat.
God.
He finished and shook, then let his hands slide over the now fat pudding poking out, Jack said it was lovely and it wasn't as big as it was going to get but damn, it looked so weird. His innie was an outie and there were fine lines, veins visible. Jack was putting cream on the bump each night singing softly as he did so making Ianto believe he was loving the baby, not him as he did so.
OK.
He knew he was entering the 'poor me' stage of things and he really hoped he didn't do the crying thing Jack had done but deep down he kinda knew he wasn't far off as he slouched, letting it all hang out.
"Oh wow" Jack said from the doorway, "Look at you standing, he looks so sweet hanging there over your tackle."
"Tackle?"
"Yeah, the lure you wriggled to catch me like some king fisherman!" Jack crooned. "Impossible to resist a nibble!"
"I feel so heavy, I feel it pulling on my chest and diaphragm" Ianto sighed.
"Well, I think it's time to start talking about the lift" Jack said softly, "We can have it installed in a few days where the laundry cupboards are. I know you want your own bed, you hate it down here."
"I do" Ianto finally agreed, the thought of the mess his home would be in while it all happened made him cringe.
"And we go to the lake while it happens" Jack offered, watching Ianto' face change and he turned to graze him as the bump brushing against Jack's hip.
"Oh Cariad, really?"
"Mama can come and mind the Byrd the Grayson while we spend some time in the bathtub, Christmas is almost here and it might be the last chance before the snows" Jack smiled, "Mama will love the idea. The Lilacs can mind the furies."
"Your mother is too excited with her knitting" Ianto sighed, "maybe a change of scenery will encourage her to put those needles down for a while, the clicking is driving me mad."
"I know" Jack sighed, "She keeps asking if I can measure Owen. Like….all of him."
"What?" Ianto frowned as he canted his head.
"Head to toe measurements, do you think she's knitting a coffin or something?" Jack frowned.
I'll tell her, I know his measurements" Ianto laughed softly as he leaned against Jack and breathed him in, "But I can't take the chair."
"The off roader" Jack said with glee, watching Ianto frown, "I got a heavy all terrain cart."
"You're kidding" Ianto leaned back to study his husband's face and saw excitement that could only mean some huge thing was already waiting for them.
"You should see the knobbly tyres" Jack gushed, "Byrd is gonna love going fast around the lake path."
"Oh Gods" Ianto sighed, "I take it you have a harness for her?"
"Yeah" Jack was racing to get the brochure and Ianto waddled back to the bed where Lucifer rustled around under the covers to let him in.
Ianto smiled as Byrd toddled in and clambered up, the wee step by the foot of the bed used for more that Ianto's shoe struggles.
"Hey baby" he crooned and Jack raced back it, tripping on the slipper.
"Shit, you trying to get that on?" Jack asked as he kept walking, looking back at it.
"Wanted to get up as I was bored and alone" Ianto pouted, "No you are here and I am happy to be back in bed. Go figure."
"Sorry babe, I never thought" Jack sat on the bed and leaned over to kiss Ianto's cheek, "You need some stuff. TV, the laptop and a bed table. Of course you are itching to do something. I have so many reports to troll through and Tosh is overwhelmed with the kids as well. You could really help us out with some inputting."
"Really?" Ianto perked up, "That sounds great."
"Right, I'll tell Mama when I got to get the lunch tray" Jack promised, "Then I will get Tosh to call around with some work, she will see how you've grown. Also, the babies are soooo cute. You were right about the crèche idea, the little buggers love the cage in the hub by the sofas. They can see us and are quite safe. Gonna take Byrd in tomorrow, I get the feeling Byrd would like that."
"Yes, she is quite attached to them" Ianto said diplomatically.
"Babe?"
"Hmmm?" Ianto was adjusting the bedding as he looked over at Jack.
"The Lilacs…they were asking a lot of questions about Andy and Rhys. They were surprised to find they can't breed like we can" Jack looked at Ianto and shifted in the bed, "Tell me. You know."
"Ys, they want to give them one, yes he is lovely and no, I can't tell you any more other than the fact Rhys and Andy are great parentals." Ianto whispered and Jack made a happy noise as he wriggled like an excited puppy, "So…looking at the ages between those I met…they will have a baby come Valentine's Day."
Jack made another happy noise as he wriggled and Ianto sighed as the baby responded, wriggling too.
Now he needed to pee again.