Hey everyone. Sorry for the long wait. I hope you all had a nice Christmas and a good start into the New Year and hope you enjoy reading this new chapter =)

38. Worries

This wasn't anything like the old hideout. There was no endless maze of corridors and rooms. There weren't any brick walls either, no light bulb-nooks, no sign of civilisation – nothing that made it look inhabited. It was a simple mountain cave. The ground was relatively flat, but the ceiling varied a lot from being hardly a metre high at the lowest spots and up to five metres at the highest. It could be quite risky to run around here when it was dark… There were a few floors even, if you could call them like that… They rather seemed like separate small caves that were embedded in the thick rock face. Sayuri was sitting in one of those now.

Karin had dragged her all the way here, although she hadn't protested and obediently walked after her. At least as soon as the others had been out of sight. Once she hadn't seen them any more, resisting had become pointless, but not only that, complying had just seemed so much easier.

Why should she struggle and exert herself, when it wouldn't get her anywhere? Why should she even bother to brood and use her head, when whatever she had to say would go unheard anyway? When regardless of whatever plan she could come up with, there was no way for her to breathe life into her thoughts?

The situation was hopeless.

She was nothing but an eliminated pawn in Madara's game of chess; not even close enough to the chequerboard to witness first hand how the game would turn out. She had a fairly good idea though. His cadre seemed to consist of nothing but a frighteningly small number of pawns and a king, which would be him. He was the king and the player, which made him – as a person– almost invincible, in spite of the lack of manpower in his team.

The white side on the other hand was most likely complete still. He would most definitely lose, but the crux of the matter was just how many people he would drag with him to hell…

She was sure it would be many. Half the village? Two thirds? Who knew? But definitely something on that scale. And just how many of those she knew? She liked? She might have ended up liking, if she's only ever had the chance to?

She had met most of her friends during missions; either as comrades or as sensei or during her work in the hospital, and all these people would be at the front line when it came to an attack. They'd be the first to fall down, because they are the strongest, the ones who are expected to take the risks and most importantly survive them. And they would survive an encounter with most enemies, but someone of Madara's calibre?

Highly unlikely.

Or was she underestimating them?

Or maybe overestimating Madara…?

He was old; really, really old – a hundred years at least, but he was in a remarkable shape for his age. Nevertheless he apparently needed Sasuke's help for his plans, so maybe he wasn't as strong as she thought. The main reason why she was so intimidated by him was the evil air surrounding him – it was the feeling of his mere presence and not his strength, which didn't necessarily mean he wasn't powerful… She couldn't even tell what he could do, because she was now sitting here in this cave, whereas he, Suigetsu and Sasuke were in the process of fighting her friends-

-killing her friends.

How very little it took to make Sasuke break his promises. He wouldn't kill anyone unless it could be avoided… Apparently hearing that they were in the same country made it unavoidable. And then Naruto was with them even…

She knew that Madara was after him, which is why she had wanted Sasuke to promise, he wouldn't let the Akatsuki get near him, but again the mere mentioning of their names must have made him forget about his promise in an instant. Or maybe he just planned on killing Naruto before his relative could put his hands on him. They had never talked about any conditions, so who knew? And actually he hadn't really agreed to her request either. He had changed the topic and she hadn't even realized it until now.

Nevertheless that didn't make much of a difference to her—

-none at all, actually.

The fact that he cared so very little about her feelings, about their future, about their friends, was telling enough. She has made her decision and had told him about it, but that hadn't changed anything about the decision he had only just made. He hadn't even hesitated a single second, before he had thrown away whatever there was between them yet again. Maybe he hadn't believed she was serious about it. She had come back to him once, so why shouldn't she do it again?

But she wouldn't. Not this time. How could she ever again feel affection, or have any romantic feelings for the man, who killed her friends?

They were his friends too, or at least used to be, and someone who was able to kill his very own friends was nothing but a monster and she couldn't be together with a monster. Couldn't allow a monster to even get close to her baby. With a monster as father maybe her baby would turn out as one too.

She could already see herself lie there in the delivery room (would they even get her to a hospital, or would it be up to Karin to get the baby out of her?) after having gone through the worst pain in her life, and then her midwife would come with a bundle in her arms and pass it to her. She'd take it, but before she even had a chance to look into the tiny gap in the blanket, some slimy tentacles would come out of it, or it would have a cloven hoof – now wouldn't that be funny?

Or was it rather sad?

She really wasn't sure. Just a month ago the line between those two very contradictory emotions has still been really clear and distinct, but now it was smudged and it was almost impossible to tell the difference. Would she start laughing or crying, when she'd first get to hold her squid-devil baby in her arms? If it wouldn't get any better with her mood swings then probably both in an interval of five seconds…

Her emotions weren't predictable anymore. She could no longer tell how she'd feel about something beforehand. Like right now for example; with how things were going it would only be natural for her to cry, but she couldn't. Didn't even feel the slightest inclination to do so.

She didn't really feel sad, but rather confused, although everything was pretty clear, so she had no idea why she was feeling that way. Maybe it wasn't confusion then, but then what else could it be?

She'd go for despair. In these rare occasions when she could think clearly, she was unmistakably perceiving the clutches of despair that were trying to drag her away from sanity.

Hey – if the baby took after Sasuke, it would be a monster and if it took after her, they could send it to an asylum instead of a kindergarten!

Wow – bad joke mood now, how appropriate …

Still this thought actually brought a smile to her face and she was just glad that there was no mirror around that could force her to see this. The sight of her own expression would probably haul her right into the bottomless pit of madness, where it was always opposite day, so she'd spend the rest of her life laughing and raving, or at least until her jaws had fallen off or ground to dust from the constant abrasion.

A noisy rumbling echoed through the mountain and in the first second Sayuri was sure it had been an explosion. However once logic made its comeback, she was convinced it was only thunder. The storm must have finally erupted, nothing more… They weren't anywhere near, so it was rather unlikely that she would hear any sounds of their battle. The noise of the running water right above her and on the other side of the rocks she was leaning against, made it hard to make out anything in the first place, so it could have practically been everything, as long as it was loud.

Maybe an explosion after all…

Damn. She couldn't bear this. Not even thinking about it. Thinking about what they were doing at the moment. She yearned to find the off-button of her brain and just switch it off. Put an end to all this.

Like it would ever be that easy… It was just like she had thought. She was sitting here, all by herself in a small, tunnel-like cavern within this great cave, with her body curled over her drawn-up knees. Her eyes were closed. There was nothing there for her to see; not in here, although the calm, never changing rocks, with their non-stirring shades of light brown and a little less light brown, were far more pleasant to her frame of mind than the various tones of red in her head: crimson, vermilion, scarlet, carnelian, amaranth, burgundy, maroon – pretty names for pretty colours and yet they did nothing but disturb her, the way they were splattered across the mental images of her friends.

She pressed her tied hands against her eyes, like they could just push out the things she was seeing, but weirdly enough that didn't work. Not even as she opened her eyes, peeked through her spread fingers at the abundance of brown, did the bloody veil lift from her sight, from her imagination.

Just why did she have to be such a goddamn pessimist? Why couldn't she ever get herself to believe that only because she was able to imagine all these terrible things didn't mean that by default they'd have to happen like this? How come all the lines were getting so blurry? The lines between different emotions, the lines between reality and imagination and then the… the voices?

"Oh, you're still there." Karin entered the grotto-like cavern, she had led her into about fifteen minutes ago. "What's the matter? I thought you had long bitten through your bonds and run off… What happened to the tiny rebel in you?"

Sayuri didn't answer or even look up. She wouldn't let Karin provoke her; she wouldn't give her that satisfaction. The first thing she had done, once she had brought her here was binding her hands and her feet together with thick cords, before she had given her back a push, probably with the intention of making her fall, but she had managed to keep her balance, although with a lot of staggering, and shortly after that the redhead had left, but the sounds of her giggles remained audible even some time later.

And now she was back, probably looking for yet another chance to amuse herself at her expenses. Therefore Sayuri was determined to ignore her; to do nothing but sit here, as mute and lifeless as a stone, showing no sign of anger, fear or sadness, like she wasn't even there at all. Like she was nothing but an empty shell, as brainless as Karin thought she was anyway.

This was the first time ever since she knew what happened that she was all alone with Karin. She had been sure that the second she'd only catch sight of her, she'd be overcome by bloodlust and would jump right into her face and scratch her eyes out, but that wasn't the case. She wasn't mad at her. Felt no kind of resentment towards the redhead.

She wasn't quite sure if that was really because she was at long last through with Sasuke or because she was too worried at the moment to feel angry. It was completely different even: she pitied her.

Kind of pretentious considering her own situation, but she still felt that way. The only reason why Karin was acting the way she was, was because she was jealous (and because she disliked her of course). She had the man she wanted, and now she didn't even want him any longer – that had to really piss her off.

"Not talking to me, eh?" Karin sighed, a mixture of mild annoyance and definitely amusement lacing through her voice. She leaped onto a rock and let her legs dangle down, apparently not in the least unsettled by the situation, so they were probably – hopefully – alright still. Or at least Sasuke was alright, but what about the others?

Sayuri closed her eyes again and pressed her face against her knees. She couldn't bear to look at Karin. She'd end up trying to read even the slightest alterations in her mimic, drawing conclusions that could be so wide off the mark that they'd almost be believable again, but she would never know if she was right or wrong and probably go crazy because of the uncertainty.

"You're not gonna cry now, are you?" Karin's voice seeped through to her, and although she concentrated on the sound of the waterfall, she wasn't able to block her out altogether. "Don't expect any pity from me. In case you don't know it, I don't like you."

Now Sayuri was really tempted to comment on that, but she bit back all these venomous remarks, letting them burn on her tongue, their acid searing her throat. She'd stick to pretending she was the only living being on this planet. Whom could she worry about, when there was no one there? This was one of the rare occasions, when the prospect of solitude didn't seem so very frightening any more; desirable even. Perhaps.

"By the way, I'm curious. What did Sasuke promise you, huh?" Karin raised her voice, like that would make it any more likely for her to get an answer to her stupid question. "Was it something like… oh, you're the love of my life and I'll do anything you want? Orrr… did he maybe promise you to go back to Konoha?"

She inserted a slight pause in which nothing but the sound of the rushing water filled the cavern, but since they had gotten used to that already, it might have just as well been perfectly quiet.

"He did, didn't he? And you believed him, didn't you?" The redhead laughed bitterly, like it was the funniest thing ever and yet there was a hint of envy in her voice, but the worst thing about all this was that her mockery was justified. How could she have been so stupid to believe him? To have trusted him to the very last second?

Apparently his promises were worthless; she had learned that the hard way, but she wondered why Karin knew that… Wondered how many broken promises she was carrying around with her…

"Judging by your silence I'm right."

"It's none of your business." Sayuri finally broke her self-imposed vow of silence and glared through the veil of her bangs into Karin's mocking face and the self-complacent sneer on her lips.

"It's a miracle – she speaks!" The redhead exclaimed and clapped her hands in front of her chest, and from the look on her face, she probably believed that had just been funny. "Thank God! I hate being ignored, you know?"

"Tze." Sayuri narrowed her eyes and gazed to the side. It hasn't even been a minute and she was already sick of having to see Karin's face, hearing her voice…

Okay, maybe there was some sort of resentment there after all, but then she made it really hard to like her… not to say impossible…

"You should better be nice to me. We'll probably have to get along for quite some time, so it would be in your own interest. I could even tell you what's going on over there." She nodded her head to her right, her red eyes signalling Sayuri to follow her gaze, although there was nothing but rocks all around them and she unfortunately or not couldn't see through them. "But only if you say please."

"Pfft." Sayuri left it at emitting a contemptuous sound, really glad that Karin had no idea just how very unattractive her offer was to her, because if she knew, she'd probably tell her, even if she didn't beg for it. But she really didn't want to know, because from here she couldn't do a thing, so what would it help her, other than unsettling her even more?

She didn't want to know what they were doing and how they were doing it – she could do perfectly fine without the details. Some time in the future – maybe minutes? hours? days? – someone would come here. Either a member of Sasuke's team, which meant they had successfully killed her friends, or it would be someone of her own team, which would then mean they had killed the father of her unborn child. It really didn't matter what happened now and how it happened – there were only these two possible outcomes and they were both equally bad, so why should she want to know the atrocities that led there?

"Oh gosh… now you're crying after all." Karin rolled her eyes and hopped off the rock she had been sitting on, only to start pacing back and forth through what little space there was here.

If there was one thing Karin hated, than it was seeing someone cry, because nothing was as sure to crack her tough shell as tears. That cursed liquid she had shed far too often in her own life, but had at length forbidden herself to give in to any longer. For almost five years now, she had stuck to her words, her promise to herself, and she had almost forgotten what it was like to cry.

But just almost.

It would be more accurate to say she had forced herself to forget, during her attempts at toughening up. Her attempts at becoming more like Sasuke. They had suffered the same kind of loss and yet unlike her, Sasuke had been able to cope with it and so she had tried to do it like him.

To be like him.

But just now, with how things were going, she wondered if she hadn't been wrong with her impression of him after all. As it seemed he hadn't learned to cope until the present day. Otherwise he wouldn't be here. He would have never joined Orochimaru and then Madara, if he had really gotten over the loss of his family.

And that wasn't all. There were these occasions, these rare occasions, when he let his guard down and she could sense it in his chakra, the raw pain that was as fresh as on day one. Like not a single day had passed since the massacre of his clan and the here and now. A part of himself was caught in a time warp and he probably didn't know so himself. He had only locked up his pain, instead of overcoming it and it was only a matter of time until it broke free of its boundaries at length.

She wondered if it was the same with her pain…

She couldn't possibly know and right now was not the time to think about it and so, before those tears would create even more cracks in her shell, she tried to patch the already present ones with a thick layer of sarcasm. "A waterfall in a waterfall – tee-riffic…"

"Shut up." Sayuri snivelled and brushed her face against her shoulder to wipe off the tears. "It's annoying when you talk."

"Now that's not very nice, is it? I could be a very useful ally, but not when you talk like that." Karin clarified, with a stern look on her face and an even sterner tone in her voice.

She should really become a teacher; there wouldn't be any misled or 'difficult' children with someone like Karin beating wisdom and manners into them, but she didn't really want to imagine how these poor creatures turned out then. With what kind of repressed, personal demons they'd tread the paths of their lives… "I helped you escape before, so-"

"What?" The violet-haired girl raised her head and frowned at her opposite, until the meaning of her words finally dawned on her and her eyes widened in shock. "That was you?"

"Of course." Karin furrowed her brows. "Who else did you think it was?"

"…"

"I unlocked your door and even made sure, no one would be anywhere near the entry – you should think that would be enough, but nooo… you stupid cow walk into the wrong direction." The redhead groused and shook her head, like she still wasn't able to believe how she could have messed up her fool-proof plan.

So it hasn't been Madara but Karin? Now she was glad after all that she hadn't told Sasuke about it. Maybe she would have gotten him in trouble. Like he wasn't in trouble just about now…

"You would actually let me out?" Sayuri sat up straight and scrutinized the only other human being in this cave sceptically, almost sure that she had only said that to raise her hopes, so she could crush them more effectively.

"Maybe… Depends…" Karin pondered aloud and started wandering around again, her heels perpetually clicking on the hard ground, like the tick-tock of a clock, counting down the time they actually didn't have. "What would you do if I did?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Can you quit being stupid for a second and just answer the question?" She rolled her eyes high up towards her hairline, to express her degree of annoyance and Sayuri really wished they'd stay stuck there, so she'd have to spend the rest of her life running around like one of those non-scary, non-motivated zombie-actors in horror-cabinets.

"Run…?" She ventured a guess, still not sure what Karin was driving at, but the curses she hissed after her words, told her that this was apparently not it.

"Do you do that on purpose?" She crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked not just a little impatient. "Where would you run to? To them or to Konoha? Whose side are you on anyway?"

"I-I don't know…" Sayuri stammered and stared at Karin's moving feet – the only thing in motion inside of this lifeless mountain.

She hadn't thought about it that way. Going to them would make little to no sense, since there was nothing she, the little dwarf, could do in this fight of giants, so it would be going to Konoha – and what then? Could she go there and just betray him? Would she even make it to the village when her thoughts were pirouetting around their battle, dizzying her into submission? So she'd most likely end up going to them after all, and then?

She wouldn't be able to just stand there and watch them – impossible! Therefore she'd end up interfering after all, trying to stop them, when she knew it was beyond her powers and then she'd have to choose a side. And she knew already which one, that wasn't really hard. She'd stick to Konoha – that was the right thing to do, the right side to choose, but even so, could she really do the right thing, with the father of her child on the other side, the wrong side?

"I'd go to them." She murmured, trying to sound convinced, so she could maybe convince herself of the rightness of her decision.

"Good to hear. Thing is only that I can't trust you. Who tells me that you won't run to Sasuke after all and tell him that I let you out? That would be just the thing you'd do… Acting nice and friendly, before you'd stab me in the back."

"… I'm done with Sasuke… I'm sick of his games and the lies and his selfishness and of you. If there's a chance for me to get away from the two of you – all of you – I'll seize it." She gave the red-haired woman a steady glance, and she looked almost proud about the mild insult and with a smile on her face she drew a kunai.

It was with a mixture of surprise and yet expectation that Sayuri's eyes widened at the sight of the shining dagger, which came closer and closer, as the person holding it walked towards her. She didn't flinch or back away though, with the bonds she couldn't get away anyway, so she'd at least try to look like she wasn't scared at all, although her expression probably betrayed her.

"Sick of me, huh?" Karin raised an eyebrow and leaned forward, bringing her face on a height with Sayuri's. "You have no idea how often I imagined this…" She placed her kunai at Sayuri's throat, and the violet-haired girl had a hard time to fight the urge to gulp, which the redhead observed with a satisfied sneer on her lips.

"But unfortunately you'd be of very little use to me dead." She brought the dagger down in a quick, careless movement, cutting through the ties around Sayuri's wrists, the first two or three layers of skin on Sayuri's left knee and then the ropes, which were binding her feet together.

Now Sayuri flinched back after all, already having seen various body parts of her, scattered all over the ground, disengaged from where they ought to be and where she liked them to be. But everything stayed where it was, except that the frayed cords were spread across her shoes now. She was free, but she could not be altogether sure of why…

"What's in it for you?" She asked sceptically and rubbed her sore wrists, trying to get her blood flowing again. Unlike just about everyone else, Karin hadn't treated her with kid gloves, but it's not like she would have expected anything else. Therefore the fact that she apparently meant to do her a favour was nothing but dubious.

"Isn't it obvious?" Karin asked. "I'll finally get rid of you." She shrugged. "You'll go there and turn on him right in front of everyone's eyes. Hopefully they'll just take you back to Konoha or you get killed or something, but even if not, Sasuke will hate you for this and that's all I need."

That was kind of pathetic and yet it didn't come as a surprise. She knew that Karin would do anything to bring them apart and she also knew that she was right. In case she would betray Sasuke publicly, he will definitely hate her and he had gone to Karin before, when things between them hadn't quite worked that well… The mere thought of that caused all her scruples to fade away in an instant.

Actually she had told Sasuke she would stay with him – for the baby's sake – but that had just been idle talk… She wasn't strong enough for this. Raising a child all by herself seemed far easier than staying with him. And then he and the people around him were anything but good company for an innocent child. But she knew that he wouldn't let her go voluntarily, so if there was any chance for her to leave him she'd seize it. Even if it meant turning on him, hurting him, playing right into Karin's hands – she'd do whatever it took. She'd have to.

"Fair enough." She nodded finally, half-heartedly. Although she had made her decision, her voice didn't really sound like it, and Karin didn't seem convinced yet either.

"That's not enough. I'm running a great risk here. I'll have to take you on your word, when you're about the last person I'd trust." Karin said with a scowl on her face and the kunai still in her hand, ready to be put to use in case she should change her mind after all.

"That's mutual." Sayuri glared back at her and finally rose to her feet. "But if you like me about as much as I like you, you'll understand why I want to be as far away from you as possible and I don't want my baby to grow up among criminals, so there's nothing for you to worry about."

Kind of weird how quickly the baby, our baby or his baby had changed into my baby. It was hers. She had finally come to accept that and for a fleeting, incomprehensible time she had actually looked forward to it.

It wasn't even so very long ago…

"Tze, you're such a leaf-ninja." Karin gave a disparaging laugh and put her weapon away at last. "You all ride there on your moral high horse and look down on other people." She shook her head, still with a look of disbelief plastered all over her face.

Maybe, if the situation had been different, if she had been in a different mood, if she were more of herself, more of the person she used to be only two moths ago as her whole world had still been right, maybe then Sayuri would have felt compelled to defend herself now. Defend her decision, her home, would have attempted to convince Karin that trying to do the right thing isn't something wrong, something laughable, but in fact something worth striving for. However being the Sayuri she was now, she was unable to state that claim, because she could no longer get herself to believe it either, but she tried…

And so she straightened her drooping shoulders, defying her vacillation by acting certain, chasing away the ghosts of her imagination with a newly kindled curiosity, she barely felt like satisfying.

"Do you really love him?" She looked the redhead straight in the eyes, seeing a flicker there, a sign of surprise and she half expected her to just turn her down. To raise her voice and bark out insult after insult, like she always did when things weren't going as she wanted them to, when she was caught off guard, but this time she didn't. She cast down her deep red eyes and took some time to choose her words, which made Sayuri wonder if she'd really get a serious reply.

"I love who he used to be."

The words came out softer than Sayuri would have expected them to be, softer than Karin had intended them to be and now both women shared a glance of surprise, at that moment forgetting about the unfavourable circumstances that had brought them here together, the unfavourable circumstances under which they had gotten to know each other.

"Yeah… me too…" Sayuri nodded reassuringly, like they had just shared a dark secret and she wanted to assure her that it wasn't this bad, that she wasn't alone with it – all of this with the ulterior motive of assuring herself that she wasn't alone either. "But don't you think… don't you think that when you love someone then maybe you'll someday just have to let them go…?"

"Nonsense." Karin exhaled sharply and fought the urge to role her eyes, keeping them fixed on her opposite instead, wondering how they had gotten from giving each other death threats to exchanging their ideas of love. "When you love someone you have to hold on as tightly as you can and do anything to keep that person with you, because it takes far too little to lose them forever."

"Hmm…" Sayuri cast her eyes down after all and pondered about Karin's words some time. She knew that she hadn't said that to keep her from giving Sasuke up. She had told her what she will do, or what she won't do and that was letting her love pass without a fight.

She loved him.

This wasn't a mere infatuation. She loved him the way Sakura had loved him, the way she loved him and yet differently. She had a different way of loving and Sayuri wondered if it wasn't a better one… It was braver in any case…

She focused her eyes on Karin again and could see in that moment that she regretted to have said that. Regretted to have lowered her guard in front of no other but her self-declared rival. "You're not as much of a pest as you always pretend to be, are you?"

"Pfft… who's the pest here? Now get going before I change my mind." Karin sulked and folded her arms in front of her chest tightly, with her face pointedly turned away from her. "They're at two o'clock, about twenty minutes from here. I'll count to ten before I follow, so get going."

"Hm." Sayuri nodded and observed the other woman closely, wondering if she hasn't had a completely wrong idea of Sasuke's team-mate up to now. Karin was tough and brusque, but apparently there was also another side to her, a side she had only just caught a little glimpse of for the very first time. Maybe if she had met her in different circumstances they might have actually become friends. If they hadn't fallen in love with the same person… If their first meeting hadn't passed as enemies…

"Oh, hold on a second!" Karin stopped her, as she had only started walking, and Sayuri really did pause, only to be hit by Karin's clenched fist a second later.

The blow took her by surprise and she sunk to her knees at once, not so sure if her jaw was still were it ought to be.

"Now it at least looks like I tried to stop you." Karin shrugged nonchalantly, and watched how Sayuri lifted a hand to her chin, but flinched back at once. It hurt like hell, but now she at least knew that everything was still at its place.

She pushed herself up to her feet again and glared through watery eyes at the redhead, with her bloody lip sucked in, biting back a remark or a pained outcry or anything, especially a sense of betrayal, since she had really thought that Karin and her had gotten over their differences. At least to some extent…

"Well, what is it? Hurry!" Karin waved her hand, beckoning her to get going.

Sayuri did as she was told, looking obviously upset though, but she kept her anger bottled up inside. At least for a second. Once she had taken the first step past the redhead, she pulled her arm back and slammed her fist into Karin's stomach.

The nuke-nin gasped sharply and then sunk to the ground, clutching her arms tightly around her belly.

Now at the latest it was official that they'd never become friends, but then hopefully this was the last time she'd ever see her, so it's not like she cared. Karin deserved no better.

"That's mine." She stepped over her and took off the medical pouch, Karin had stolen from her on the very first day of her imprisonment, and after looking around for a last time, she finally ran off.

Luckily, the hideout was fairly small – at least in comparison to the old one – so she ran no risk of getting lost here and was outside in less than a minute. A roll of thunder erupted right above her head and the clouds had burst into saltless tears, empathising with her miserable mood. She didn't even know whom she was more worried about. It should be Naruto and the others.

Yeah, it should… but when were things ever the way they were supposed to be?

Wind and water struck her face and ran into her mouth and nose, as she rushed into the direction Karin had given her. It was almost like wading through a mire. She had never yet witnessed a storm like this; such a monsoon-like downpour. The drops of rain were actually heavy, as they pelted on her head and her shoes squeaked in a funny way, as the mud ran into them and was squeezed out between her toes again.

She hadn't even laid back half the way, when she perceived the first indications of exhaustion. Right now the rain came in handy, since it cooled her and she was in no danger of getting thirsty.

The air was filled with a constant growling, from time to time interrupted by a noisy roar, but she was never quite sure if it was thunder or an explosion. It could be a mixture of both. In case they were really going at it, then she should be close enough to hear the sounds of their battle, but what if they hadn't even begun yet? Or what if it was over already?

Her questions were soon answered by a weird phenomenon in the sky. There was this one cloud, still pretty far away from her and it was surrounded by bluish flashes of lightning, dancing round and round it, like bees buzzing around a beehive. She slowed down, glad to finally have a reason to do so, apart from having run out of breath and stared at the numerous bolts of lightning, watching with widened eyes how they suddenly assumed shape – that of a unicorn – and then shot out of the sky. The next thing she perceived was an ear-splitting bang, nothing like those before, and then she was thrown to her knees, as a violent tremor shook the ground.

Just what had that just been?

…

…

He wasn't quite sure if it was a thing about the rain, or if he had gone frail as a raw egg. Either way, the drops of water gushing out of the leaden sky, felt like someone was throwing pebbles at him. Unlike the aggregate phase, the size would about fit, but it was getting better. The storm was slowly weakening. His attack had caused the clouds to discharge, so it was only a matter of time for them to clear up completely. At least the ones right above their heads, he didn't quite know about the other ones, but it's not like it mattered now.

Sasuke was kneeling at the edge of the crater, his coal black eyes focused on the centre of it. It was huge. At least ten metres deep in the middle and fifty in diameter. It hasn't even taken a second – there was no way Madara could have gotten away in time. He probably hadn't even realized he was being attacked, until it has already been too late, or maybe he hadn't realized so to the very last second. Had just passed from life to death without being aware of it.

He had done it.

He hadn't been sure it would work, hadn't been sure if Madara hadn't seen through him after all, but apparently he hadn't. All his experience and knowledge of human nature hadn't helped him this time. Maybe that was because it had been a last minute decision on his part. Even the very second before he had attacked, he had still been unsure of his intended target, but in the end he had decided on Madara.

It wouldn't take a jutsu of the dimensions of Kirin to get rid of the Hyuga, whereas with the Akatsuki that was completely different. But nevertheless he still wasn't convinced yet, if it had really been the right thing to do. If it hadn't been fatal for his future plans to get rid of one of his strongest allies… But after the things Madara had said, he could no longer trust him.

He hadn't really trusted him to begin with, but this was different. He had betrayed him. He had promised he wouldn't take any actions without his consent and yet that's what he had done. And when he had already lied to him now, then he was definitely too dangerous a person to have around.

However his betrayal wasn't the main reason that had led Sasuke to do what he had done. Not at all, actually – it had only made him wary.

It was the moment he had taken control of the Kyuubi, without any apparent difficulties that he had started doubting the role he played in this whole affair and then also his talk about having been the reason why the Kyuubi has been sealed in Naruto.

Things had slowly fallen into place.

He had remembered the first time he had seen the monster inside Naruto, back then as he had still been with Orochimaru and they had found him in one of his hideouts. The Kyuubi had known the Sharingan and compared him to Uchiha Madara; at that time, he hadn't wasted much thought on that, but now it was different. From the Nine Tails' reaction, he was sure that he had not merely seen the Sharingan, but has actually been under its control before, and when could that have possibly been, other than during the Kyuubi's attack on Konoha, eighteen years ago?

Madara had told him that it has merely been a coincidence – a natural occurrence – and that the Uchiha have been wrongly accused, when that hasn't been the case, at least not entirely. It has been an Uchiha who had controlled the Nine-Tailed; however the perpetrator has not been among those, who have been accused of it.

Itachi hadn't lied after all. He had told him that Madara has been behind the whole incident, but that one had denied that. Had told him his version of the story, his version of Itachi's life. He had twisted everything his brother had said around and around and puzzled his own sense together, until he had been so confused that he hadn't been sure what to believe and as it seemed he had chosen the wrong thing.

That would count for this one aspect, but who knew how much of the rest was also untrue.

How much about Itachi?

His true mission?

His alleged affection for his little brother?

He was too confused and most importantly worn out at the moment to make sense of all these things. He'd need some time to go through everything again. Time to recollect in tranquillity, so he wouldn't jump to conclusions again. Think again about everything concerning Itachi, which was again as vague and unclear as just about two months ago, as he had first met Madara and been confronted by 'his truth'.

But what he did know at the moment was that he must have planned all that. After all it was his own clan that had abandoned him and although Sasuke had known that he had felt resentment towards them, he wouldn't have thought that they were among the people he wanted to take revenge on.

He didn't want to destroy Konoha for what they had done to the Uchiha, but he wanted to annihilate just about everyone who had ever wronged him – including his own blood relatives.

He had killed two birds with one stone. By unleashing the Kyuubi on the Leaf Village, he had not only made sure that Konoha would suffer severe damage, not to speak of all the lives that were lost that day, but he had also ensured that the Uchiha would be blamed for the attack.

No one but a holder of the Sharingan could possibly control a Bijû with the power of the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox. That had to have been the reason, why he had kept his identity secret that day, which seemed so very unlike him, at least from how he had gotten to know him. Since he had been thought to be dead, the suspicion had at once fallen on the living part of the clan. Most likely on a single member, but since the Uchiha hadn't sold out anyone, it had been assumed that they had acted as one; that the entire clan had been behind the assault.

The Akatsuki was the reason why all of this happened. He had gotten the ball rolling. If it hadn't been for the intrigue he had woven that day, it wouldn't have come to the tensions between his clan and the Hidden Leaf. Then Itachi would have never gotten the order to kill his own relatives. Then he wouldn't stand here now as a man who had lost his family and would have almost lost his future family as well.

Once all these things, all these assumptions, had shoved their way out of the back of his mind to the very front, he had been overcome by a fear he had never known before. A sense of overwhelming panic had fired through his synapses, infecting more and more of his brain cells, until the insides of his head had turned into one huge alarm bell. It hasn't been fear for his own life – he knew that well enough and he knew how to cope with that – it has been fear for his family's safety; fear of being overtaken by his past again.

Everything had been so clear. He had seen a younger version of himself on the very day that had changed his life forever. Had seen himself run through that street again – a waterless version of the River Styx. Had remembered everything he had felt that day:

The grief at seeing the corpses of his parents.

The despair at finding out it has been his brother's doing.

The helplessness at realizing that things would never be the same again.

That he was all alone.

That could have very well happened again. He could have again lost everything that was important to him. Had been so close to being all alone again.

He was sure now that Madara had not only planned his revenge on Konoha, but also his very own clan. Which means he would have posed a danger – not only to him but also his baby and probably also Sayuri. To just about everyone he knew, everyone who was even in the slightest related to the Uchiha-clan or Konoha.

Madara was a madman. He had intended to let everyone suffer for what happened and Sasuke had almost stepped into his footsteps. Had almost taken after a hate-consumed lunatic and the worst thing about that was, how very much his own way of thinking had come to resemble that of his relative. Just like him he had meant to let an entire village suffer for something three individuals had done.

If that hadn't been made up as well…

He'd need to go through his plans again. He was actually still convinced about the role the elders had played in this whole incident, but he had been sure of so many other things as well and they had turned out as false too, so he wouldn't rush things again. Wouldn't just blindly trust into the words of a stranger and do his own research first.

"I'm not meaning to criticise you or anything, but your accuracy used to be better…" Suigetsu distracted the Uchiha from his ruminations, as he rose out of one of the puddles right next to his team-mate, who was still kneeling on the ground, his breath coming ragged and heavy, but the sound was drowned out by the slapping of water on water.

"Or maybe not…?" He raised an eyebrow and looked down at the dark-haired man, waiting for him to finally answer. He knew him since quite some time now, knew his way of thinking, knew what he could do and to blunder like this wasn't really like him… But then when he was in one of his moods, he could become unpredictable, so maybe it hasn't been an accident after all.

"Hn…" Sasuke emitted a meaningful sound and used his hands to push himself into a standing position and after swaying a little, he got a grip on himself and stood as straight as he could, his coal black eyes fastened on the scene in front of him.

The crater was just huge. In a split second the terrain in front of him had changed from cultivated farmland to dead ground, rutted with holes resembling lunar craters. It was nothing like before, thanks to the power of his Kirin. There was no way Madara could have gotten away in time.

Absolutely impossible.

It was surprising enough that none of the Konoha-nin had perished. They had been really lucky that they have been far enough away from the centre of his attack. It hadn't left them unharmed, though.

The Aburame, who had been closest to the Akatsuki, was unconscious or maybe dead after all, he couldn't tell from where he stood. Except for having stumbled, Kiba had remained unharmed, since he had been behind him, so completely out of reach, same as Naruto, who was much farther away from all of them.

Sasuke couldn't really see him from here, although he was sure he could spot a tint of orange in the distance, which might be a piece of his jacket. Either way, he was alive still and so was Neji. He was about ten metres away from him and about three metres under him. The Hyuga had only just struggled to his feet, looking worse for wear though. Nevertheless he had activated his Byakugan and was now clearly staring at him, confusion and shock written all across his features.

"What?" Suigetsu's violet eyes widened as he stared at the blank profile of Sasuke's face. "You mean, you really did that on purpose?"

"Hn." Sasuke nodded, thinking it better to waste as little energy on speaking as was possible. He needed all his energy at the moment to get his breathing back to normal and calming his heart in particular, since that had gotten dangerously close to imploding, in the second he had seen through Madara's plans. The second he had realized what a huge threat he posed to his family. Weird how natural that term came now. Whenever he thought about Sayuri now, he didn't 'merely' think about her as his girlfriend, but his family. She and the baby were his family and it had taken the fear of losing them to make him realize that.

"Now I'm confused." The Houzuki murmured and moved his gaze from the Uchiha, to the crater and also the people in or around it and then back to the Uchiha. "Just whose side are we on now?"

This time he didn't get an answer, since Sasuke didn't yet know himself. His eyes wandered to where Naruto was lying. It had been fortunate that the Akatsuki hadn't taken him away at once. Then he wouldn't have gotten a chance to kill him.

He still didn't know why he had needed all the Bijû, except for using them as weapons, although he doubted that that was the only reason. What he did know though was that there were only two left. Only the Nine-Tailed and the Eight-Tailed since they had apparently screwed up on that one, and in retrospect he was rather glad about that and he was also glad that he had told them that Sayuri was dead.

It had actually just been an emergency lie and he hadn't really thought he'd need it, which is also why he had wondered why he had done it at all. It hadn't been empty words as he had said he would kill them. He had really meant to and yet he had taken precautions, for the unlikely case that they should get away after all, although he hadn't planned to let them, but now his caution had paid off after all.

If they thought that Sayuri was still with him, then they'd probably come after him at once, but this way, they didn't need to hurry. They'd probably go back to Konoha first, get healed and come back with support and hopefully that would give him enough time to move to a different place, where they wouldn't find them too soon and he'd have time to figure out what exactly he would do now. He doubted that much about his plans would change. In case Madara hadn't lied about the elders, then they were still his target, however without the Akatsuki he'd have to change his strategy and that would consume some time.

He wasn't even sure if it wouldn't be better if he took care of his former comrades right away. They were outnumbered and exhausted though, but it's not like it was any different with the Konoha-nin. They were apparently even worse off than them, and with two of them unconscious, or at least incapacitated, their advantage in number didn't really count, so they were even.

Nevertheless he had a feeling that today wasn't a day for any great decisions. Any great actions. At least no more than there have already been, so if he'd only make sure that they wouldn't follow them after all, it should do.

All he wanted right now was to get away from here. He still had a lot of thinking to do and his body clearly longed for rest. It wouldn't take his injuries as long as the last time to recover, but still he was feeling pretty miserable now and then he was still anxious. He hadn't been able to shake off these uneasy feelings and wanted to make sure that Sayuri was safe. She had nothing to fear from Karin. They couldn't stand each other, which was understandable, but he was nevertheless sure that Karin wouldn't dare to lay a finger on her and although he had only just eliminated the potential threat, he still felt the indescribable urge to make sure she was okay.

Besides, he also wanted to find out if he had read her last look correctly. If she was really done with him now, just as she had claimed. Maybe this new turn of the situation would change her mind. He could already see her face when he told her that he had turned against Madara.

First a confused frown, then a disbelieving smile.

But he could also see her face when he told her that that wouldn't make a difference to his plans.

The smile from before would slowly crumble, leaving only disappointment in its wake.

She wouldn't change her mind and he'd have to accept that. Madara has never been the problem, at least not primary. He was the problem. His decision was the problem. Maybe he shouldn't tell her then…

"Err… Sasuke?"

Again his train of thoughts was interrupted by Suigetsu's voice. He unlocked his onyx eyes from the scene in front of him and switched them towards the white-haired man, who didn't exactly look vital, but definitely better than just a minute ago. You could literally see him recover bit by bit, with every drop of rain that fell onto his skin, although the storm had weakened a little by now.

"What are we gonna do now?" The Houzuki asked, entirely clueless. He really didn't have the slightest idea what all of this meant now and where it would lead them. Would they carry on fighting or would they go to Konoha or just take off or do something entirely different? This was again one of the not really rare occasions, when he had no idea just what in the world was going on in Sasuke's head.

"We'll draw back." He told his team-mate, before he turned to the Konoha-nin. "Don't follow us."

The threatening tone in his voice was hard to miss and he thought it would do, to keep them from pursuing them, but as it seemed he had been wrong.

"I don't know what just happened – but we won't let you!" Kiba stepped into their way, as they had only just turned around to leave, and although he had talked in plural, he was all alone and without his dog, he seemed kind of helpless, definitely unfamiliar.

"Haha – I give you ten seconds." Suigetsu sneered mischievously, before his eyes narrowed in a cruel sort of amusement. "You should have already realized that you don't stand a chance against me."

Kiba couldn't think of a reply to this, so he left it at emitting a low, rumbling growl, which made clear that he wouldn't back down. In case they wanted to pass him, they'd have to force their way through and it didn't seem like the two nuke-nin had any restraints to do so.

"This won't take long." Suigetsu grinned and shouldered his heavy sword, ready for an attack. "Just go ahead already – I'll be right there."

"Cocky…" The Inuzuka snarled and narrowed his eyes into slits. "But that's okay. You'll only underestimate me once."

"Underestimate?" The white-haired man snickered and watched his opposite crouch down, preparing to fight. "I think I know you well enough to have a fairly good idea of your abilities, but feel free to prove me wrong."

Both men regarded each other with challenging expressions, before they both dashed to the front, deciding to let their fists do the talking. Sasuke watched them for a moment; watched their fists and their weapons clash over and over again and he couldn't help but to sigh about the eager grin on his team-mate's face.

Personally he didn't have anything against a good fight, but the Houzuki actually enjoyed the fighting, enjoyed to hurt others and even kill them without a good reason, and that he couldn't relate to at all.

He never did anything without a reason.

He detached his eyes from their fight and moved them to Neji, to make sure he wouldn't get into their way as well and catch them off guard. It didn't really look like that though. The Hyuga had sunken to his knees again and had deactivated his blood trait and Sasuke doubted he had done so voluntarily. It didn't look like he'd be a threat to him. He could finally give in to the pull that was drawing him towards their hideout. The pull that was drawing him straight to the person waiting there for him, like there were invisible threats tied to his limbs, moving him into her direction.

He took the first step and now that the adrenaline level in his blood had subsided a little, he first became aware of the pain, surging through his whole body. He paused briefly, not even long enough for anyone watching him to see this as a sign of weakness, but as he had only just raised his shoeless foot for his next step, he sensed something behind him, so he swayed to the side in one swift movement.

Then there was pain.

A sharp, sudden pain. Not like the one before, he had already grown familiar with, but a pang, so intense that it took both his breath, same as his vision away for a second. He didn't pass out though, albeit that would have probably been more pleasant, but he stayed conscious, and conscious as he was, when he looked down at himself, he couldn't detect the source of his agony.

"You nearly had me there…"

Sasuke's obsidian eyes widened in shock, as he recognized the voice that only just murmured in his ear, but his brain wasn't able to process this piece of information yet. Then he heard Suigetsu call his name, but his voice seemed to come from far away and he was barely aware of it, since in that moment a blade of shock slashed through the pain-induced haze that was dulling his mind, slowing his brain, and he knew it now—

-knew it, but didn't understand it. Understand why Madara was now standing there behind him, when he had only just killed him. When the flash of lightning must have burned him into an ash heap. Had he risen like phoenix from the ashes? Was he able to cheat death?

It didn't matter, because whether he knew why or not, didn't make a difference to the fact that he was now standing there behind him. Alive and furious, which meant he was in quite a plight.

…

…