Chapter 36: Gazing Over the Precipice
Her footsteps echoed with a metallic pang as she marched from the bridge to the comm room. Kelly sidestepped away from her path and the others followed suit realising that this was the day to get the fuck out of Shepards way. Her armour bore the marks of the battle; the decontaminated remnants of salarian blood, and fluid from husks,warping from a plasma beam…She seethed behind the visor of her helmet that she had not yet removed, wanting to save all the sweat, rage and blood the fight had drawn from her and direct it at one smug, clean suited individual.
"The fuck do you think you're playing at?" she screamed at him the second her eyes clapped on the holo of his aloof form on his throne. He greeted her with silence, taking his time to flick the ash from his cigarette. She could barely contain herself, and she understood why he had never dared to make an appearance in person; she most certainly would have punched that contented look from his face.
"So you made it out in one piece."
They had almost ran out of heat sinks, they had very nearly been slaughtered by a praetorian and made it back on the Normandy by the skin of their teeth and away from the Collector dreadnought's charging canons. Mordin barely kept himself upright as they supported him through the Collector ship, and he wouldn't be able to participate in any missions until at least two weeks. They would need to travel to Illium to get the required medical supplies as they had already used up so much on his injury.
"You son of a..."
He raised his hand to silence her.
"I wouldn't have sent you in there if I didn't believe you were up to the job." He said flatly.
"Is that supposed to flatter me?" she asked indignantly.
"Hardly. Yes it was a trap…but I am confident in your abilities. And don't forget EDI, the Collectors could not have anticipated her."
"We damn near lost Mordin and barely made it out alive." She spat back.
"I am aware of Dr Solus's injuries and have been assured he will be making a full recovery."
"So you gambled. With our lives."
"Because of that 'gamble' we now know how we can travel through the Omega 4 Relay; I would consider that more than a worthwhile investment." He took a long draw from his cigarette. Her fist clenched as she looked into his cold metallic eyes.
"I needed them to believe they had the upper hand," he continued smoothly, "telling you could have tipped them off in any number of ways. Keeping you in the dark could have been the difference between one Praetorian and six. As you are well aware by now, I put a lot of money and resources into this project. Why would I seek to undo everything that has been achieved?"
"You think they're watching us?" She asked.
"How could they not be?"
She folded her arms, the anger no longer consuming her, but throbbing within her.
"I didn't risk the lives of your crew idly and it would do you well to tell them that."
"Did you know that this was the same ship that shot me down?" She knew the answer to the question but she wanted to hear him say it.
"Yes I did. All the more reason to ensure they don't succeed a second time." He responded simply. She stood there in silence unsure of what to say next.
"We are at war Shepard. In war difficult decisions need to be made and the time will come for you too. The Collectors are taking humans and every minute we waste is one more we give the enemy to prepare. EDI has evaluated the data and discovered that the Reapers and their Collector allies use an IFF to pass through the relay."
The anger rose in her again.
"Why are you telling me about this now? If you had done the right thing and kept us clued up we might have been able to retrieve it."
"As I already said, I could not risk telling you more than I did. But there is another ship. A derelict Reaper.
"Surely you can't be so blind as to believe that?" Shepard had asked in genuine disbelief. Miranda had winced inwardly. No emotion showed on her face, she would not allow it, but the involuntary response to Shepard's question troubled her.
Miranda knew allies from enemies, it was precisely why she had so few of the former. She owed pretty much everything to the Illusive Man and he never made her act on a bad order yet. Damn near impossible ones yes, life endangering ones yes, but never a bad one. Never one that made her question his judgement. The Illusive man had not even summoned her, only Shepard and she hated second hand information.
The team meeting had validated their hypothesis; this was going to be a one way trip. They would either go out in a blaze of triumph or a crash of failure and being that this was her project, she could only allow the former. Nothing could be allowed to disrupt that. As the team disbursed from the meeting room she pushed the anxiety that gnawed at her to the side and followed the footsteps of the assassin. Miranda used her foot to obstruct the elevator doors from closing, delaying him from reaching his destination.
"Thane I need to see you in my office." She took his agreement for granted, turning on one heel without bothering to glance at him to verify he was following. He looked at her back in askance but didn't utter a word as he fell into step with her. Once they reached the office that doubled as the XO's living quarters, she gestured for him to take a seat as she took hers behind her desk. Thane watched as she propped her chin up on her knuckles, her mouth seemed to form a sneer as the questions formed on her lips.
Relationships were not uncommon in military situations, hell they weren't uncommon on Cerberus ones, Miranda herself had succumbed. Hitting dirt with people had an annoying way of bringing them closer together, but she had long since learned to get her kicks elsewhere and prided herself in being able to keep things with Jacob professional. She could only hope Shepard would learn to do the same, but she couldn't leave such things to chance.
"What is your relationship with Shepard." She knew the answer, and as such it wasn't really a question. She just needed him to own up to it to facilitate an open conversation. He looked at her in what she interpreted as mock disbelief.
"She is my Commander; I swore the use of my body to her."
He wanted to bite back the words as soon as he uttered them, knowing how filthy that could sound to human ears. Sure enough he caught the slightest hint of a grimace on the XO's face.
"Why are you spending so much time with her?" She asked leaning forward.
He didn't care whether they knew or not, but if any sort of declaration was to be made, he felt that it was only right it came through Shepard herself.
"I hadn't noticed. I believe the Commander has taken the time to get to know all members of the crew." Miranda waved off the explanation, he was more frustrating than she believed he would be. She cut to the chase.
"Starting a…" and she twisted her mouth as she uttered the word, "relationship with Shepard is ill-advised."
"I don't think I understand what you mean." he replied vexatiously, revelling in the raise of her eyebrows. He continued to neither confirm nor deny much to Operative Lawson's frustration. Whatever she said didn't matter to him. She could try to sully it with her twisted mouth and her foul words but it didn't make the least bit of difference.
"Well I am warning you. This may not end well for you and I need all operatives functional"
He felt strangely angered by that remark but he kept his face blank not wanting to give her the satisfaction.
"I don't care who Shepard chooses to distract herself with as long as it doesn't come at the expense of the mission. I'm sure you would like to enthusiastically see to it that she remembers you…if you haven't already done so, but I can assure you the chances of this working in your favour are slim." She motioned with her hands as if crushing an incessant small insect between her thumb and forefinger.
She was talking to him as he was nothing but an errant child threatening to break her most prized toy. He found himself increasingly unable to quell his resentment towards the woman before him. Her words made everything that he and Shepard had…what they shared, seem like something soiled and filthy. She looked at him with cold blue eyes of disdain.
"A lot of investment, time and work went into this project and is still going into this project; it is my job to ensure it succeeds. I'm sure you will have your fun, but when she is finished with you, you will be discarded and once that happens I'm afraid we do not have the resources to deal with someone whose mind is not in the fight. This is how people get killed; pointless ties and emotions impair good judgement. Shepard has bigger things on her plate than your feelings."
"Operative Lawson, what makes you as arrogant as to think that a mere conversation with you could dissuade me from doing anything?" he asked approaching the edge of calmness, he wasn't going to allow her to continue this any longer.
"I know it's easier for you to think of Shepard as a weapon of choice for your ends, a source of power and destruction which needs to be honed and controlled in order to achieve the best results, but the enlightened know they lose nothing by having faith Miranda."
She looked at him in confusion and disbelief but she did not interrupt him.
"Shepard is here for all of us and that includes even you. We will not perish. Do not be afraid."
He rose up from the chair and made to leave. "I will pray that Arashu chase the disquiet from your soul, please do not bother me with your inane questions again."
A/N: A big thank you to the guest and Angel Davis for their reviews and to those who followed the story :)