A/N - A new chapter, it only took 8 days, I swear these things come in waves. Enjoy, review. Post again soon!

Chapter 38 - Jess

Jess was afraid, very afraid. The woman of his dreams was in his arms but she was an absolute mess. She was sobbing as if she had just been broken. He relived the last few minutes over and over in his mind. He tried to figure out what Logan must have been saying on the other side of the line.

It sounded as if Rory was trying to talk him out of seeing her, which he understood, he knew that she didn't want Logan to know she was pregnant. But what he was confused about what when she said "you what?" His nervousness had started to fade when she brought up Truncheon and the prospective travel schedule, then she had brought up his name. He liked the way she used semantics when she said that he "was an ex." He appreciated her brain more than anything. And when she acted like they were in a hotel room together answering room service, he happily obliged. Although they were not in a hotel and they were not getting room service in California, they had just spent an amazing night together.

Jess barely had time to think about their night. He had planned on waking Rory, up, feeding her, and hopefully taking her back to bed. However, rather than a perfect morning after, all hell had broken loose. Instead of the laid back morning he had in mind, they ended up in an adrenaline packed panic.

She had said something else that stuck in his head, she had told Logan that it was "too little, too late," and that if even yesterday would have made a difference. It sounded as if he had made her an offer of some sort and she had turned him down. The only thing different between today and yesterday was that they had been together last night.

As he held her, his mind could not help but go back to last night. It was like this bright light in a sea of dark days. He thought, I made love to Rory, Rory and I made love. And it became a mantra in his mind that he repeated, barely believing it was true.

Rory's sobs finally subsided and when he noticed their absence he looked at down into her eyes. They were red rimmed and still full of tears, but still the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen.

"You okay?" His tone was worried.

"I am not sure if you believe it or not, but in reality, these are happy tears." She had a smile on her face with her watery eyes.

"Happy tears sound like that?" The doubt and precariousness of the events that had just transpired, were evident in his tone.

"Apparently, I am just feeling a little overwhelmed and a little, to be honest, hormonal. Like I can't control how I am feeling. But really, I was crying because of relief and joy at being here with you, and that things seem to be resolving themselves. Also, insecurity at not knowing if I am doing the right thing keeping this child from Logan. I know it is his, but I am not prepared to have her be a part of the life that is the Huntzberger world. I sound like my mom now. Trying to keep me out of the Gilmore world."

"What did he say?" Jess was curious and even after the night they had spent together, he was a little uncertain about how she was taking the sudden appearance of Logan.

"Are you sure you want to know?" Jess nodded his head. He had to deal with it, she was here with him, but he had to be prepared, he knew that taking on Rory with all that was going on, he needed to be aware of the worst of it.

"He told me he loved me, and that if I took him back he would call off his engagement." Jess let out a deep breath. That was the worst, but another part of the conversation came to mind. You are still engaged, you are not even free… When's the wedding? I will send a gift.

"He asked you to be with him, but he is engaged?" Relief washed over Jess, she was standing here in his arms and not packing her bags to be with Logan. He knew logically that she had written Logan off, but though they had talked about many things, Logan had not been a subject either of them was willing to discuss.

"Well, we were kind of together off and on since before he started dating her, it was always casual, only when I was in London. I didn't want a commitment with him. It would have never worked. He was there for part of my life but he wasn't the person I was meant to be with, or have a family with. He is marrying her as part of business dealings with his dad. But when they got engaged, it became very real. I broke things off… he came to find me…I broke things off definitively…he was still marrying her…and now, this little lady is on her way. But, I never imagined we could have anything real, even when he proposed."

Hearing that Logan had proposed struck something in Jess he hadn't expected. He had never really understood how she had ended up pregnant by the blonde dick, but it seemed that now was the time to hear and understand the story of Rory and Logan.

"When did he propose?" Jess tried to hide the nervousness in his voice. He realized he didn't do a great job when Rory started her explanation.

"Jess, it has nothing to do with now, don't worry…really! Logan proposed to me the night of my graduation party from Yale. I turned him down. I loved him, but I was not ready to settle down, I was just starting a career, he wanted me to move with him to California where he wanted to start a business. He was talking a bout renouncing the family business, but I couldn't…I needed to live a little first, before committing to settling down. I wanted to travel, to explore. I was not ready. And…even though I loved him, I don't know…it all seemed a little surreal, like it was part of an existence that wasn't mine, everything with him was over the top. I guess at the end of the day, I couldn't see a real life with him, everything was fairytale-esque."

Jess swallowed the idea that Logan had proposed, even back then, that he had wanted to marry her, wanted a life with her. It was hard to accept and at the same time he was relieved that she had turned him down. He thought of what her life could have been. He realized that the Rory he saw when she had dropped out of Yale would have been her new life.

"You didn't want to be the person you became when you dropped out of Yale?" He proposed.

"Exactly!" Rory laughed an amused type of laugh. "Jess, you always seem to know how to get to the heart of the situation. I had lived in that world, I didn't like myself…I was lost. I wasn't willing to risk going back there."

"So, how did you end up back with him after all that?" Jess was curious as to how a turned down proposal turned into a casual relationship.

"We met up with each other the first time I was in London for work about four years ago. About four or five months after we broke up, we had gotten back in touch. It was a comfortable relationship, a friendship. I was traveling, we were never in the same place. He had decided to not leave the business after all, I was the reason he was walking away. He fell in line and became the executive his father expected. But it was never like it had been. Something was missing from what we had the first time. This time the newness of it, the unknown wasn't there. But it became habit. A relationship that wasn't a relationship at all, just a place to sleep when I was in London and an old friend. At least that was how I saw it. I think he may have had a different point of view."

Jess leaned down and kissed Rory. He kissed her with all of the relief he felt, all of the love he had for her, and all of the promises he wanted to make to her, but knew she still wasn't ready for. He knew her, better than sometimes he understood. He could comprehend her motives, her realities. He understood how her upbringing made her doubt, how even his own rocky, inconsistent history with her made question his reliability. But what he did know what that all of the was different this time, and that he was able and willing to give her everything, and to make sure that she realized that with him, all of those doubts would have no place.

The kiss turned into a passionate reminder of the night they had spent together. An opportunity to relive the magic and see if what they felt that first time was real or just a novelty. There was more eagerness than the first time. Jess felt the need to erase from her mind the pain and insecurities of the mornings events. The need to show her his love and his promise all collided in a desperation that overwhelmed him and the tide of his emotions took her with him.

He had never imagined it could be like this. He had been with a number of women over the years and had never experienced what he had felt that night with Rory. It was an overwhelming sense of belonging. He wanted to be everything to her and give her all of himself. In return he felt that he was receiving more than he had ever received, he felt loved and as if the act of their loving was more…simply more. Even in the eagerness of this second time, he felt complete and whole. An experience so foreign he knew it would stay with him for the rest of his life. He knew that he had not been wrong in feeling that he had a special connection with Rory for the fifteen years he had known her. Something that drew him to her repeatedly. That made his heart race to see her and now his body hum to know her.