He got out of Knockturn Alley, to the bright and joyful Diagon Alley. He hated all the joy and smiles, in fact he despised them. He preferred to be back in the shop where darkness lurked everywhere he went. But, he changed his mind when he thought of Lily. The one he had left home for another week until they started school together. He was only eleven but he loved Lily and she was his one and only...
Lost in his thought, he made his way to the ice cream parlour. He didn't see that he had sat at a table where another young girl was. He sat and kept on thinking about Lily. When the girl beside cleared her throat, he looked up and finally realised he was sitting at her table without her permission. He studied her; she was about his age, with black curly hair and bright blue eyes.
"Sorry I didn't see you. I am really sorry..."
"No, don't be, everybody makes mistakes," she said with a warm smile.
"She has a nice smile," he thought.
"I didn't..." he said out loud.
"It's OK! I assure you," she insisted.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes!" she replied almost screaming.
"Well, I should go..."
"No, stay! I really want to meet new people. I am Nathalie McGonagall," she introduced herself, putting her hand up forth so he could shake it.
"Severus Snape," he replied hastily.
"Snape, that's an unusual name, so is Severus. I always liked unusual names."
"Really?" he said lifting one eyebrow.
"Yes, it's original, better than my boring name," she continued on, while finishing up her ice cream. She seemed very nice and, like very few people, didn't care about his bad looks. He looked at her like she was the only thing left on earth. Once she saw him, she giggled and gave him one of her warm smiles. His stomach made a jump for it; he had never felt this way.
"Are you in first year at Hogwarts?" she asked him as he snapped out of his trance.
"Yes, what about you?" he said politely; maybe he would get more than one friend this year.
"Yes!" she exclaimed smiling again. He saw that she had a shopping bag beside her, with potion ingredients needed for first year. She caught him looking and said, "You like potions?"
"Yes, very much," he replied still looking inside the bag.
"I have tired a few simple potions, but they never turn up good. I can perform spells that transfiguration students in seventh year can do, but I can't manage a meagre potion." He grinned; he could do any potion, give him the instructions and the ingredients, and it will be done. It came from spending his life in his mother's shop, helping make potions, ever since he was five.
The girl was studying him, but before she said something, a voice called her. She got out of her chair and hastily took her bags.
"See you at school!" she screamed back at him with a smile. He gave her a smile back and headed for the Apothecary. He had had enough excitement for a day.
He had been at Hogwarts for three years, and he was already bored. He had just started a new term, new classes, and he was bored. He had filled his head with every knowledge he could, and he still wasn't satisfied. He was in Slytherin and they were known to want power, but he wanted more information to cramp in his brain. A true Slytherin, his teacher had said and his mother agreed; her son was very determined to get more out of life.
He walked in the corridor towards potions when he bumped into Nathalie. They had become friends since they had first met, and he adored their friendship. Lily had become best friends with her and it was a great thing. They both were the only ones that seemed to care about him, since they would save him from the attacks of Potter and his cronies. But Nathalie's saving was becoming less and less frequent, since she was in love with Potter's best mate, Sirius Black.
"Severus!" she said with her warm smiles. "Just the person I was looking for...I haven't seen you since term started! How are you?
"Good...how about you?"
"Terrific...you will never guessed what happened today! I had to tell you, it so amazing!" she said sitting down with him on the stone floor.
"Really? I have something important to tell you too..." he said putting his books down beside him.
"Well go on..." Since he had known her, he always wanted to look good beside her. She was really important, she was Lily's best friend and he wanted Lily. So, he tried to get her confidence so Lily would maybe love him back...However, he kept stuff from her because he was ashamed to tell Nathalie. But he had to tell her his real heritage, it would make Lily believe in him even more. Even if Nathalie hated when he lied to her, he had to tell her.
"You know my father?"
"The one you never knew...yes," she said, trying to figure out where this would lead.
"I knew him..." He continued on telling her what his childhood really was. She only knew that her mother had told his mother that his father was no good, that his mother had him and his father abandoned them. But now, he explained the whole thing to her, bit by bit. It only took him five minutes, but it seemed like the longest five minutes of his entire life. She was patient and listened and at the end was very compromising.
"Why didn't you just tell me this before? You know I would've understood you. Don't you trust me?"
"I was just ashamed about it..."
She smiled again and said, "Don't worry, it's okay...I get it, I'll keep it a secret. Now, I wanted to tell you..." But they were interrupted by a very angry Sirius Black.
"Nathalie, where were you? Why didn't you wait for me like you said you would?" he exclaimed as all eyes turned on him.
"Because, I had to tell Severus the news!" she said as Severus gave her an enquiring look.
"What news..."
"Why does HE need to know? He isn't part of OUR relationship!" Sirius exclaimed.
"Relationship?" Severus questioned as Nathalie turned to him and said, "Yes, Sirius just asked me to be his girlfriend. That's what I wanted to tell you."
He looked at the both of them with sickening eyes. He knew they both loved each other, but he really couldn't believe girl like Nathalie would fall for a guy like him. But, that was why he preferred Lily.
"So, Severus, what do you think?" she asked him, but he couldn't reply. The bell had rung.
BAM!
Severus was lying on his back, beside the Whomping Willow, trying to remember what had just happened. All he could remember was a werewolf almost attacking him. He looked up and saw a silver deer pulling him away from the tree. He pulled him behind a little bush where he saw...Nathalie!
"James, what happened? Severus? What is going on?" The deer bowed his head, to point at Severus and left. Severus automatically turned towards Nathalie.
"Severus? What happened? Did you get hurt?" She was hovering over him to see if he was okay. All he could see were her eyes, her blue eyes that he found so beautiful. Sure, she wasn't Lily, but she was close to it.
"Black...told me...to go here tonight...under three...Lupin is a werewolf!" he spat out.
"I know, but you have to keep it a secret, okay?" How could she be so calm and disposed this moment?
"Yes...but Black...Black will die...he almost killed me by sending me there!"
"Sending you?" she asked; her smile had disappeared.
"Yes, he told me to come here tonight..." Then she went hysterical.
"Severus Snape! How many times have I told you ignore them? Why do you trust Sirius, when you know he only wants you hurt?" Severus got up and looked into her eyes. He felt his stomach stir again, like every time he would look at her. That is when he realised, he might actually...love her. Not love like Lily love, but a nice sense of acceptance and by the looks she might...love him back?
"Because if you trust him, then I will too...I love you." He, suddenly, bent down and kissed her; she was caught off guard for sure. Her expression was worth it and he loved it. Her expression changed, and they were lost in passionate snogging.
"Severus...I think I love you!" she said with her warm smile.
"I love you too..." he replied and started kissing her again. Maybe after all, Lily would come easier than planned...
Taking a walk was a good remedy for Severus. The fresh air helped him thinking clearly, but sadly, he didn't go often. He walked around the Quidditch pitch, thinking about Lily. Nathalie was now his girlfriend and for two years, he had been with her. He showed love and affection, to make Lily jealous of her and make her run to his arms, and he would be waiting for that moment, until he dies. Ever since they're falling out, his main priority was Lily...not that Nathalie wasn't satisfying, no, she was extraordinary; she was one of the best girlfriends you could have. She really did care for Severus and not knowing it, helping him to get Lily.
He suddenly heard a scream and snapped out of his thoughts. He had just walked into James Potter and Lily Evans snogging away in the Quidditch pitch! Potter was on top of her; hands up her skirt looking very angry that Severus walked in. On the other hand, Lily was giggling away looking in fact...happy that he had walked into them.
"Snivellus, get out of here before I hex you into a toad!"
"James, just let him go! He doesn't deserve to be bullied just because he walked into us. Just let him be..." Lily said softly messing James' hair. He looked like he was in heaven and Severus was jealous.
"Whatever you say, darling..." And they went back to snogging, completely forgetting Severus was near.
Severus couldn't bear this sight, so he ran for it. All his dreams of Lily were completely crushed! She was with Potter; that git stole everything he had, spells, talents, popularity and most of all girls. He had taken Lily away from him, the only girl he ever loved and the only who seemed to care! He loved her and that he always will! He was crushed and loathed everything that had to do with her. No other women would ever love him...except maybe Nathalie.
She loved him, just like he wanted Lily to love him. She cared for him and he cared for her, just like Lily should have been. She was cheating on Black to be with him...because she loved him. That's when it hit. Who cared about Lily, Nathalie was the one that loved him! He should be with Nathalie instead of fantasising about Lily! He should give her the love and care she needed, instead of focusing on Lily. From this day forth, he promised to take care of her. She might not be Lily and might not have the same place in his heart, but she still was his. But only one thing was a problem...Could you be in love with two girls at the same time?
The most important night of his life was here and he would try and not ruin it. Graduation Dance. Not that he ever cared for dances, but this one was special. He had to tell Nathalie everything, because he wanted them to be clear and full of trust, before he would ask her the most daring question yet. He wanted to tell her his feelings and how he cruelly used her to get Lily. Ever since he had caught Potter and Lily snogging, he was more attentive to Nathalie and showed her that he loved her every minute that he got and she seemed to be happy. They had planned to meet each other outside, near eleven, during the dance.
He entered the Great Hall that was full of decorations. Couples were coming in and out for the dance floor and the teachers were patrolling for couples that were going the extra mile. He sat in a corner, waiting for eleven patiently. It was eight, so he had three hours to go. Then, his attention turned towards Lily who had just come in, with Potter holding her arm. She was wearing a beautiful green dress, with detailed patterns on the bust and a long train. Potter was grinning and looking happy as ever to have scored the best girl in school. Severus scowled in his chair, until Nathalie arrived.
She was wearing a purple gown that was simple and sleek. The dress was sitting on her shoulders with a three-inch band of fabric with a broach on the side. Her hair was let down with curls that came out near her face. She was smiling heaven's gate, looking quite happy with Black on her arm. She looked very pretty and now he felt more nervous about her reaction at his whole declaration. Three hours passed by and he was heading towards the exit but Nathalie's father, Professor John McGonagall, stopped him.
"My dear boy, having fun?" he asked. Severus sighed; it wasn't the time!
"Yes, very much...now excuse me..." He saw Nathalie smiling as she headed off by the other set of doors to wait for him outside. He looked over and saw Black with a bunch of girls. He finally got out, to see Nathalie waiting outside and studying the stars. He walked until he came up behind her and put his arm around her waist. She was caught by surprise and turned around and smiled realising it was him.
"Severus..." she said, her voice muffled by her mouth being covered by the hug they shared. He kissed her and made her sit on a rock near from their initial point. They were at their sneaky dating place, where both their initials were carved in the tree to celebrate their two-year anniversary.
"Nathalie you look...breathtaking!" he said holding her hand. She giggled, blushed, and replied to his statement.
"Thank you. Sirius thinks purple isn't my colour, but I like the dress. It was my mother's dress for her graduation...I am so glad you liked it though, I was thinking about your reaction to it ever since I got it!"
"Well, I personally think purple suits you and I really love it. Just like I love you..." he said as he bent down to kiss her again.
They had a splendid time together for about...thirty minutes. Those thirty minutes he promise to never forget, because he was about to tell her his secret and he wasn't sure of her reaction.
"Nathalie...I need to tell you something very important."
She made a serious face and said, "What is it, Severus? What happened?" Then he made on of the worse mistakes of his life, without even knowing it.
"Nathalie, it's what has been happening that you should ask. You know I love you, but it wasn't always like this. It only has been since beginning of this year. I was in love with...Lily. I had first seen her at the park when I was young and we developed a close friendship. She was always nice to me and really seemed to care about me. Since you guys were friends, I tried to impress her through you. I wanted her so badly, but I took the wrong actions to get her. As you know I treated her poorly and as a result I lost her...
"Then, came our first kiss, where I started having feelings for you. They weren't as big as my feelings for Lily, but they were big enough for me to ask you out. I thought dating you would get me close to Lily, but it didn't turn out right. Then, starting of term I walked into Potter and her snogging, and that's when I realised he had her and I would never have her. I had totally forgotten about you and I am really sorry...If only I had realised that you were everything I always wanted Lily to give back to me...I would have paid more attention to you like I have been doing ever since I walked into them.
"I am really, really sorry I used you that way, and I really do love you. Just not as strong as Lily. I hope you accept my apology and will you please marry me?" He got a tiny golden band from his pocket and showed it to her. She had tears coming out of her eyes and looked hurt. Then, she blew...
"You USED me to get Lily? You wanted Lily more than me, so you twisted my heart and made me believe you really loved me, but what you really want is my best friend? Now, you want me to marry you? Severus Snape, any woman who has been hurt as much as I am hurting now, would never go back to a man that did this to her. You don't even love me, so why would I marry you? It just be a lie, a whole lie and in the end I'll end up heartbroken because I thought you loved me and got over Lily. I can't believe you just did that to me! I thought I meant more to you than this! I thought you really did love me, comparing to Sirius!"
"I do love you..."
She got up and said, "Then you wouldn't have broken my heart. It's like you cheated on me! You were with me but wanting somebody else...I can't believe it!"
His temper flew up as he said, "You did the exact same! You were going out with Black and at the same time me! How do you think I felt when I saw him kissing you, my girlfriend, when you were with me? It's the same thing..."
"But, I wasn't breaking your heart...I was breaking Sirius'..." She left running in tears and he tried to follow her.
He ran into the Great Hall, where he found her crying in Lily's arms. Lily looked at him with anger in her eyes. He had lost more than one girl tonight; he was so stupid to have thought up that plan in the beginning! He suddenly felt a tap on his shoulder; it was Black!
"What did you do to her? Why is she crying? All I could get out of her was your name and broken heart! So tell me what did you do?"
"Nothing...absolutely nothing..."