Hello everybody,

close to the end we go right back to the very beginning.

This chapter will probably raise some more questions but hopefully will answer few as well ;-)

Thank you all for so many comments, favors and followers.

BlueBoltKatana: Thank you very much for your comment and sticking with me so far^^. I'm sorry for making you cry and yes, the Luffy-Zoro-scene was also one of my favorites, because both of them act so unusual but it's still them^^ I will probably make a sequel, because my mind never stops thinking about it, but I cannot promise yet, that I will translate it as well, because although I learned a lot it's also a lot of work and takes a lot of time...

LucioL: Hey, thank you for your huge comment. Thank you^^ Yes, one of the most important things for me is to create a story which could be happening in Oda's world, maybe even as a filler-episode (although this story is more about an alternate story line I guess^^') and it makes me really happy that you felt what I was trying to tell, that you understood the characters reactions so well. Well about the future I won't say anything. Don't want to spoil any of you ;-P

We almost made it^^

Have fun with the next to last chapter

Sharry

Chapter 33 – Dreaming

The breathing became difficult. He could still hear those screams in his back. Dying people. Yes, he had become a beast, a monster. To protect his friends and their dreams he had tossed away all of his humanity. His honor, his pride, his dream. He did not regret it, rising one arm high above his head, a sign of victory, hope, and friendship. For them he would become a demon anytime. He would give all he had to protect them, because this was his responsibility being their crewmate.

He knew that he had taken the life of so many good, innocent people right now, which would lead to even more sorrow for their families.

He believed to hear his friends screaming for him, maybe just his imagination. He had become a monster, forfeited his right to become happy. The flames licked his feet, hugged his hip. An unknown pain reached his body, but he could not scream, because the heat had already made all its way down his throat, when suddenly the ground to his feet broke apart.

It was a worthy death for him, not worthy for an honorable man, but worthy for a beast, a demon. Maybe he could have survived, if he would not have given up everything. Maybe he could still be himself, but then he would not have been able to protect the others and if he was totally honest, this was exactly what had become his responsibility.

He could not feel anymore when he crashed onto the ground, could not sense his own screams and his burning skin, could not notice his melting earrings and roasting hair.

In his mind he saw those things dear to him. No God could have mercy on him, he would never rest in peace, but that did not matter. He had never asked for shelter, never begged for lenity. He knew he could endure anything, withstand anything, that had always been his way.

But they were alive, that was all that mattered.

Oh, what could have been, if…

Slowly he came back to his senses. Like he had been asleep for eternity. The world was dark. It was like he was floating in nothingness. Was this death?

If yes, it was not as bad as he had imagined. Where were the flames? Where was the hellfire, awaiting him longingly?

Luckily he did not believe in those fairy tales.

But there was nothing. Maybe that was the most terrible punishment there was.

While he looked around, noticing there was nothing to look for, he realized almost amused that he was not there as well. No arms, no legs, no body.

He tried to speak, but there was no mouth, no voice to talk with.

Great. He was not more than his own thoughts, almost as horrible as being stuck with the cook in the same prison for more than one week, because his mind never went quiet.

So he was really dead now, right?

Well, considering that he felt quite alright, despite that he had no body and was actually dead. But the other ones had survived; at least he hoped they did. That was all that mattered.

Fine, yes he did not want to die, not yet, not before fulfilling his promise, but he did have no choice.

He would do it again! Right away! Without a moment of doubt, without a moment of hesitation he would rip out his own heart if necessary to protect his captain, his friend and if it would help the others as well, the better.

This was his way, his style. He had been born to protect that boy with his life, he had become certain about that by now. Only for that reason he had been alive.

And although it filled him with incomparable pride that he was one of few chosen ones who were given the honor and the power to protect the future pirate king, something deep within his heart mourned.

Something deep within his heart?

Bad joke for somebody without a body. Could have been from Brook.

Of course he would do it again. Of course he would protect his friends with all he got and even more if necessary. After all he was a proud warrior, an honorable man.
He would never give up.

But hidden deep within. Under the layers of a swordsman, a pirate, a pirate hunter, was this little boy, who cried.

He had died, died before he could reach his dream, before he could experience life, before he could help his friends reaching their own dreams.

He had not wanted to die!
He wanted to live! He wanted to experience the life ahead of him, feel it.

Before he had fought against Hawk Eyes, he had discarded his own life. But after fighting him he had decided that nothing was allowed to kill him until he would reach his dream. He had done the impossible, simply because of that decision. But then, then he had seen, that there were more important things than his life. He had seen that the person he was had to serve another reason.

If he had not been the person he was. If he had not been the one who wanted to protect the other ones, he would still be alive.

If he had been selfish and only saved himself, he would still be alive, burdened with fault and self-hatred, but alive, still able to follow his dream.

If he had been weak and not been able to protect his friends, he would still be alive, because somebody else would have carried the responsibility to save all of them, he would have been weak and would have lost all his self-respect, but he would have been alive, still able to dream.

If he would have thought at himself for only a second, he maybe could not have saved all of them, but he would be alive, he would have survived.

What ridiculous thoughts. Thoughts he hated himself for, only for having them.

Never in his life could he act like this. Never in his life would those thoughts have reached him, not as long as he had been alive. He would have never allowed that his friends would suffer because of his selfishness.

And that was the exact reason, why he was death now.

But maybe they could have prevented it, he thought silently. Not he, he had had to act the way he had done. But maybe, only maybe, his friends would have found a possibility to save him. If he had not been too proud to ask for their help. His pride had forbidden him to show weakness, to ask them to carry only a little bit of his burden, because he did not want to bother them, endanger them. But also because he wanted to proof the world that he was able to do everything on his own.

But was friendship not exactly about that, he wondered sadly. Was friendship not about that although one was capable of doing all on one's own, one did not have to?

How foolish of him that only now he was able to understand this easy principle, now that it was too late.

"Is it really too late?"

Surprised he turned towards that unfamiliar voice. And suddenly he noticed that he was in a body, his body. Standing on the bottom of endless nothingness.

"Who's there?" He asked into the emptiness.

"You're really not the brightest star in the sky, are you? However you seem to be a traveler. Your soul is way too old for the short amount of time your body lasted."

The answer he got was like words without meaning. He was not even sure if he just had been insulted.

"Once again, who are you and where are we?" He asked again calmly and went into fighting position.

He was kind of mad that he had no swords, but he was dead, so…

"Oh no, you're not dead yet, traveler. Not yet."

He was not sure what irritated him more: This bodiless voice reading his thoughts or that this voice was telling him that he was not dead?

But how was that possible? He could remember it quite well, the flames, the heat, the smoke. Had felt how his body had burned, almost melted. It was impossible for him to survive.

"It seems you're not aware that the destruction of your organic case does not mean the end of your soul."

"What?" He understood nothing.

"Be patient, traveler. It's my duty to explain everything and to help you decide."

Decide? What could he decide? He was death.

Out of nothingness three empty gates showed up in front of him, everything else stayed dark.

Well, at least he got an idea what this was all about. This was probably some kind of test.

"Certainly not. But first let me explain that leaving the worldly sphere doesn't always lead to unavoidable death."

"What do you mean?" He asked the bodiless voice. "How can I be not death?"

"Let me show you."

And suddenly something was between Zoro and the gates, taking his breath away.

In front of him was his corpse.

It was a strange feeling. It was not the first corpse he saw, not even the first burnt one and his rational mind was kind of glad that he did not smell anything right now.

How he knew that this was himself, he could not say, because this body had nothing in common with him anymore. The corpse was burnt and charred, the muscles shriveled. The injured side of his chest had burst open and blast off half of his torso. The right arm as well as both feet were missing, probably destroyed from the fall.

The back of the skull had been cracked open, eyelids and lips were burned, leaving nothing but a noseless creature, mouth and eyes wide open in a excruciating scream. Ironically all teeth were completely faultless except for being pitch-black.

This was him. His body. This was what was left of him, after he had given himself up, after he had died.

He felt sick.

"I ask you to listen. Like I said you're not dead. This is merely the remains of your organic shell."

But he ignored those words, too shocked from this horrible sacrifice in front of his eyes.

He was dead!

Something within him screamed and he stumbled backwards, away from this horrifying monster, the proof and punishment of his deeds. Punishment for his lack of trust, for his false pride.

"Look at me, Roronoa Zoro. Your dead body won't run away."

A silent laughter filled the room of nothingness.

Zoro lifted his head. In front of him, next to the spaceless gates stood a woman. She was completely white, even her eyes, and her contours seemed blurred, like they would dissolve, like her body was not solid.

Immediately he reached for his swords, which were not there. He had put them in that damn bag. Besides he was death as he reminded himself, kind of difficult to bring his stuff along.

For another time the woman laughed, without her lips moving.

"I'm not your enemy, Roronoa Zoro."

"What are you?" He asked tense, ready to battle.

The woman laughed again, but it sounded strange, forced, like somebody who did not know how to laugh or how to behave.

"To answer this question, Roronoa Zoro, I would need to go far beyond what your mind is capable to understand. Just let me say that your ancestors gave me many names, which were all true and wrong at the same time."

"Not really helpful." He murmured, without relaxing. "So where are we?"

"Another question you would not understand the answer of. Because, Roronoa Zoro, we are and we are not, and if something is not, it cannot be anywhere."

"I don't understand a thing." He replied dryly.

"Then let me explain as simple as possible." The woman said, without moving her lips.

"In easy words let me tell you that the figure you humans call a living being needs three things. The first thing is the spirit or the mind, if you want to, which makes up who you are. Every spirit needs a soul, this is the ability you need to remain in the earthly world. The older the soul is the stronger is its might. Your soul for example is one of the original souls, a really rare exemplar. The last thing you need to have a worldly existence is an organic shell, just like your human body in front of us. Do you understand so far?"

He nodded slowly. He had not expected hell to be some kind of school.

"The shell is not lasting, it will fade, and this is what you measure in time. Because of its frail condition it limits the spirit within and the soul's ability to stick to the earthly world. The weaker the shell the more difficult it will be for the soul to stay connected to the world of the living. Because your soul is ancient, you're able to make your shell last longer by pure willpower, but at some point it will still break and at that point your soul and spirit will leave the world of the flesh."

"And end up here." Zoro continued her sentence.
She nodded. "Although here is not a physical place of course. Actually it would be more precise to say that this is not more than thoughts. The body you think you have is actually nothing more than an illusion of your spirit, because you are used to be limited by an organic shell. I on the other side have no soul and my spirit has never been limited by a shell. This is why you have to excuse if my imagination of a body is imprecise."

Zoro's head was spinning. That was a little bit much of information for him. He had just seen his own corpse in front of him, had the little issue of accepting his own death, or his bodily death if he were to believe the white woman and all those strange things she was talking about.

"So why are you telling me this? What am I doing here? What are you doing here?"

"I am a soul guardian. It is my duty to show you your options, now that your shell has passed and in case you want, I will take your soul, so that you can go on."

"Excuse me, but what?"

"Roronoa Zoro. Right now we are in a dimension which neither exists nor not exists. We are in-between what you humans call life and death. Your body is gone, but soul and spirit are still there and sill connected. It's up to you what shall happen from now on."

He looked at her, uncertain what to think, but she continued talking.

"In front of you are three gates, Roronoa Zoro. Each of them shows a way for you to take."
Now he looked at those blank gates behind his burnt corpse, standing in nothingness.

"The first option is to be reborn."

The gate on the left was gradually filled by a warm, soft red light and the beating of a heart sounded strong and healthy.

"If you chose this way, your spirit will be given a new shell and you will start a new life. Your soul will be gifted with new force to grip to your body. Of course the limitation of your shell will make you forget everything you know so far."

He realized he was looking into a womb. In front of him a new life was formed.

"You can also choose the second gate. To go on."

The door in front of him showed his reflection, like a mirror.

"If you take this gate, you have no further need for your soul and therefore I will take it to create new souls or to strengthen others with it."

Zoro did not look at her, but at his reflection.

"And what happens, if I go there?" He asked.

"I don't know." The strange creature answered. "I am not able to go on and no spirit who went past that gate ever came back. Which would be impossible without a soul by the way."

So that should be it, reborn and forgetting who he were, forgetting that he was Roronoa Zoro or going on into something unknown without being able to return?

He shook his head. Not his ways. Certainly no options for him. He had to return to his crew.

But what, if this was not possible?

"Usually those are the given options to the likes of you if you leave your body. But you are one of few who can choose a third option." The third gate stayed dark. She continued talking. "Most humans die with one of two thoughts. They either do want to live or not. But there are also those, who don't regret death but something in their life. Something they have done and although they regret that they've done it, they would do it all over again. You are one of those, right?"

He looked at her seriously.

"I chose death. I don't regret dying."
She laughed her strange laughter.

"But that was not the answer to my question. I asked if you regret what you did."
He turned away, regarding the great nothingness in front of him.

"I never wanted to kill so many people, but I don't regret it. It was necessary. I don't regret saving my friends' lives."

She did not say anything but he knew exactly what she was thinking.

"But I regret." He whispered. "I regret that I gave up my dream, that I gave up myself. I don't regret what I've done, but that I was too proud to not do something. That I was too proud to ask for help. That I didn't trust them enough to safe me."

She nodded. "And this is why you can go a third way." She came closer to him, but her legs did not move. "Humans, who died for a selfless reason, but don't regret dying but their mistake that made them die, receive a chance to continue their life."

He starred at her. Shocked!

"How?"

The strange, inhuman-like being smiled.

"Listen carefully. Usually after a human dies they come into another realm with all other shell-less spirits. Not before your body is completely vanished and no remains are left they come here, to this place, because not before then your soul can finally let go of your physical world."

He slowly nodded.

"But for those of you, who could choose the third option, this would take much too long. After all you need to return into your former life to learn from your old mistakes. This would be impossible if it takes your body decades to dissolve, because nothing from your old live would be left. This is why I brought your shell here, to make you a new one, to return right back to the earthly realm."
Zoro simply looked at her. There was a way! There was a way!

That was all he needed to understand.

"If you chose the third gate you have another two options. If you want, I can form you a new body, exactly the way you want it. But if I do you will lose all memories of all your former lives for good."

"So what about the other option?" He asked directly. Without his memories, without his dream, without his friends, he needed no life.

"You will keep your memories and I will recreate your original shell, into the tiniest detail." Zoro wanted that one, but she continued talking. "But of course it's not that simple. The resurrects get this choice for a reason. It's about learning something you forgot in your original being. Something that differs you from other human beings. Roronoa Zoro. Do you know what you have forgotten? Do you know what did you unlearn in your life?"

He answered without any doubt.

"Yes."

"Tell me!"

"There's so much more than strength, pride and honor."

She nodded, but her voice became cold. "This is why I will form your shell into two different figures, each of them part of your spirit, each of them reflection of the other one. The additional shell shall teach you what you need to learn. I will give you not the body you seek, but the body you need, so you will never ever betray yourself again. Only after you learned what you needed to learn, you will be able to reach your original body. Only if you remember your own worth and behave that way. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, kind of. But I already know what I need to learn, what I did forget. It's about false pride."

She laughed: "It's not like you will remember this conversation. And the past has shown that it is much harder for the living ones to change themselves."

He sighed.

The first gate of being reborn was no option for him. Why should he do that?

The second gate as well had not much to offer. Of course he wondered if Kuina was on the other side of it. But maybe she as well had chosen something else. Besides he still had to fulfill their promise. He had to return to life, to his life.

So he only had one option left if he wanted to keep his memories.

He had to choose the weak body, because he was sure that he would be given a weak body, after all he was quite strong.

"Before you decide I should add some more information about your options." The woman mumbled. "For number one: Of course you could be reborn into something else than a human, but which one you cannot chose."
"For number two: Because we only know of the name of your current life we have no knowledge about the spirits who have gone on."

"For number three: Even if you receive your former body again, your second one will always be a part of you, because this new one is the one connected to your soul.

And for number four: Because I take your memories it will be impossible for you to remember, no matter what will happen and even after that life ends."

Zoro was not listening anymore.

He already knew what he needed to do. Had known it from the very beginning.

He would live, he would become strong and he would trust.

And if the price had to be a weak body then so be it.

"So you have made a decision?"

He nodded and walked towards the third door.

"Let me tell you one more thing."

He looked at her.

"You will either find a place you need to find in order to learn what you need to know. Or you will find a person, who's destiny it will be to change you. You still want to go this way?"

"Sure."
Kuina would wait, he was certain.

He ignored his corpse.

"So go ahead, Roronoa Zoro. Return into your life and learn from your mistake. Regret nothing and live your dream."

He walked through it.

Surprised he looked up at a forest glade.

The clear sky above him got darker and darker, like the sun had just set.

But he had been sure that it had already been dark night during their escape.

He looked down. This was still his own body, although he was wearing nothing but a simple shirt.

It seemed like this strange voice had been wrong, or maybe he simply went crazy and that conversation never had happened.

In the far distance he could hear footsteps. Someone was coming.

Suddenly he felt dizzy. The world around him blurred and before he knew what happened he fell down unconscious.

Panicking he tore his eyes open!
Where was he? What had happened?

"Roronoa?"

He looked up.

At the far end of the big, plane room stood the Shichibukai, closing the heavy wooden door behind his back.

"You are late for training." He scolded him.

But Zoro said nothing, clinging onto the blanket.

Yellow eyes observed him.

"This dream again?" He simply nodded. "Still confusing?"
He shook his head.

"I remember everything now."
Mihawk folded his arms without replying anything.

Finally Zoro knew what Jade had meant. Finally he knew what had happened.

"Very well." The Shichibukai spoke up again. "I give you some more time. But do not take too much of it. The ghost-girl made breakfast and she already annoys me."

Zoro got up grumpily, allowing the other one to observe his naked chest in detail.

"I'm up. Let's train. I don't want to brood over long passed things and Perona is too annoying to talk to."

The older one laughed evil. "As you wish. So come along! I have a special treat for you today, you will love it."

The Shichibukai pulled the door opened and went into the depths of the castle. Zoro hurried up to follow, after all this old building was a real maze and he did not want to get lost…again.

Luffy, I'll become stronger! I won't let you down and I will reach my dream. And I will trust you to become strong enough to protect me as well!

"Roronoa, wrong direction, this way please. Stay behind me."
"Don't worry, Mihawk, I'm right behind you!"