I stood by Dad, holding Hannah as I watched him fumble with a smoking battery. Beside him was Al and it was at the end of a Tool Time show. Like usual, Dad had something go wrong but that was what made the show funny. He would screw up, but still had a sense of humor. While I liked Al, I preferred Dad since he was my father, but I was biased.

Hannah reached for Dad but I didn't want her to get burned so I shook my head. She pouted and played with a toy.

"The show is over and it's still smoking." Al looked at Dad as Hannah babbled and bit on her hand.

"I did this for a reason." Dad told as he cooled down his hands.

"That would be?"

"Now the crowd knows what happens when you overcharge a battery. It swells up and does this."

"Hey. You seen this month's Detroit Life? Hey, Randy." Heidi smiled and then looked at Hannah and grinned. "Aren't you cute, Hannah?"

"Not yet. Come here, baby doll. Daddy wants you." I picked up Hannah.

"Guess one of the sexiest ten bachelors in the city. Someone on the show."

"I bet it's Marv. I've always found Marv attractive."

"Marv's OK, but he's no Vic."

"It's not Marv or Vic. It's Al."

I held back a laugh but Dad gave a glance that told me to laugh later. With a laugh, Hannah squealed in Dad's ear. He winced and rubbed his ear, but gave a smile and kissed Hannah's head. She couldn't do anything wrong in his eyes. Well, she couldn't do much wrong in my eyes either. I didn't get mad at her as easy as I did with Mark. She was my baby sister that had to be protected at all costs. Anyways, she sucked on Simba's ear and cooed at Dad who smiled.

"I must say I'm very flattered."

"I must say I'm very frightened."

"'What woman wouldn't wanna cuddle up with Detroit's rugged Mr. Fix-It, along with his trademark humility, Al displays a quiet competence and an understated sense of humor.'"

"So understated, no one gets it." I teased and Dad grinned.

"Obviously someone did."

Dad took the paper and I laughed as he held Hannah in one arm and looked at the magazine article with the other. He seemed jealous, but I knew he was trying to be nice since Hannah and I were there. He didn't like to set a bad example with us around.

"'His big, beaming smile matches his big, beaming behind."

"It doesn't say that!"

"Well, it should."

"Well, wait a minute. You're in here."

"What's it say?"

"'As usual, the Borland charm is a much-needed antidote ''to the overblown macho displays of the accident-prone host Tim Taylor.'"

Dad seemed annoyed and didn't say anything as he walked out with Hannah in his arms and I followed. Quietly, Hannah looked around while Dad headed to the car and strapped her in her car seat. He didn't seem mad, but he wanted to go home since it was time for us to go home.

…

I sat with Mark at the dining table while Randy was doing homework on the couch and Hannah was playing in her Exersaucer. Jill was at saxophone lessons with Brad so I was left with the three other kids. Since Mark needed help, he asked me, but I wasn't having much luck. Randy was seeming to be much more of a help, but he would take care of Hannah while I was helping Mark. It helped him be more responsible so Jill and I were over the moon. He loved helping Hannah and it made him happier than ever.

Randy was laying back on the couch with Hannah on his chest and it was adorable! That baby made Randy so happy and that in turn made us happy.

"All right, give me another problem."

"'Bill's car goes 40 miles per hour. Mary's car goes 60 miles per hour. How long will it take for each of them to go 120 miles?'"

"What size motors do they have? Is it automatic or manual transmission?"

"The answer is Bill, three hours, Mary, two."

"I shouldn't be helping you with your math homework."

"You're not."

"What's your English assignment?"

"Well, I have to do a report on the most interesting person I know."

"I was born in middle Michigan. It was an autumn birth. A breech baby."

"Dad. I'm not sure you're the most interesting person I know."

"I'm not sure he's the most interesting person in this room."

Randy handed me Hannah and went upstairs so he could do his homework in peace and quiet. With a babble, Hannah looked up at me and seemed content to be in Daddy's arms. I kissed her head and looked at my sweet baby who was playing happily in my arms.

"Maybe I'll do Wilson."

"Wilson? Wilson? What interesting thing is he gonna tell you? You should write the story about me."

"I think I'll stick with Wilson."

"Hey, Brad. Who's the most interesting man that you know?"

"Wilson."

Brad went upstairs and Jill took Hannah from me, rocking her gently. With a coo, Hannah snuggled into her arms and seemed pleased with her mother. I loved seeing mother and daughter together. It was just adorable! Nobody aside from the boys meant as much to me as them.

"Did you see this magazine? Al was voted a sexy bachelors in Detroit."

"Which explains why all the single women were heading towards Cleveland."

"I can see how some women would find Al sexy."

"I guess if you never saw another man before."

"You just don't get it. Sexiness is something that comes from the inside. It's something that you exude."

"It's my opinion that anything Al exudes should stay on the inside."

….

I sat with Hannah on my lap to watch Tool Time and there were tons of women in the audience and I guessed it was because of Al being named one of the top ten sexiest bachelors in Detroit. It didn't bother Dad anymore so I was pleased. He and I watched football (a pre-recorded Lions game) and he became happy. Anyways, I saw Hannah becoming a bit fussy.

"Does everybody know what time it is?" Heidi asked as I smiled and Hannah cooed at hearing that.

"Tool Time!" We yelled and Hannah babbled.

"Binford Tools is proud to present Tim ''The Tool Man'' Taylor."

"Thank you and welcome to Tool Time I am Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. You all know my assistant Al "I"—Well, I guess we all read the article."

"It's nice to have you ladies in the audience. We're talking about French doors."

"We wanna talk about Al."

"Actually, Al and French doors share something in common. They're both things l like to slam. The thing about putting in doors is you want to secure 'em, straighten plumb 'em, and make sure that they're straight."

"Could you move so we could get a better view of Al?"

"Is this better? Hi, baby girl. Hey, Randy." Dad waved and Hannah cooed. "Ladies, this is a tool show, OK? We're gonna use shims here, as he hammers."

A lady cleared her throat and Dad groaned. I groaned internally and Hannah seemed indignant that someone had interrupted Dad. She pouted but gave a smile when Dad played peek-a-boo with her. I felt annoyed and I wanted to get some sense into her. I'd never hit a woman, but I wanted some sense to be seen.

"Could l ask a question?"

"Oh, gosh darn it, why not?"

"Has Al ever been married?"

"If we're gonna ask questions, they should be about French doors."

"Would Al be more likely to marry someone who had French doors?"

"Actually, I'm partial to women with all sorts of doors. Dutch, sliding glass doors."

"What kind of windows does Al like in a woman?"

"Actually, I'm partial to bay or louvered. Or broken."

…

I sat with Jill, Al and Ilene as we were having a double date. While we were out, the boys were babysitting Hannah. Around this time, Hannah would be sleeping, so they'd be doing whatever. Brad and Randy usually hung out while Mark played in his room so we weren't worried about them in the house. We were celebrating Al and Ilene having their fifteenth month anniversary. Though Jill and I didn't think of it as significant, we pretended it was for Al and Ilene's sake.

"And l would like to thank Jill for introducing me to Ilene. And, Ilene, here's to another great 15 months."

"I'm Shelly, and I'll be your waitress this evening. I'm single, I want a relationship, and I like long walks on the beach."

"I'm starving, I want pork, and I'd like a glass of water."

"We have some lovely appetizers tonight. May l recommend the raw oysters?"

"Sounds great. I'll have that."

"I'll have the Shelly, we're hungry too." I looked at her.

"She just took one of her long walks 'I shucked them myself.'"

"Everywhere we go, the women have been flocking to his flannel." Ilene looked upset and I didn't blame her.

"There is nothing worse in this world than a flagrant flannel flocker."

"I have to tell you you're even more handsome than you were in the magazine. Can I have your autograph? I'm such a fan of your show."

"Oh, that's very gratifying to hear. Tim and l always try to do our best. Uh, excuse me, miss. You forgot something."

"She didn't forget anything, Al. She just gave you her phone number."

"Can you believe that woman? She could see you were with him."

Jill and Ilene were talking as if they were girls in high school again. It was amusing, but I didn't dare say anything. Jill was looking angry and I didn't want to make it worse. So, I put my mind towards thinking about how we'd treat Randy for his thirteenth birthday. He didn't like sports or cars like Brad so it'd make it tougher.

"Going for Al, maybe she can't see. Anyway, Ilene, tell us what's going on in the fast-paced world of orthodontia."

Oh, it's very exciting. I just got back from a symposium on overbites, and the most interesting thing happened. What are you doing, Al?"

"Waving."

"I'm in the middle of a story."

"Well, I was just being polite. I have a responsibility to my public.

"Your public? A few days ago you didn't have a public."

"Well, yes, I did. They just didn't know who I was."

"You know, the way you're acting I'm not sure I know who you are."

Ilene stormed off to the bathroom with Jill hot on her heels. Since I was not a woman, I stayed with Al. I had to go pee, but Jill gave a glare that told me to stay with Al. Not wanting an argument, I stayed but wriggled around so that I didn't pee my pants. They were extremely like high school girls now by their actions. Going to the bathroom together was extremely common when I was in high school and still is to this day. Even my oldest granddaughters who are nearing twelve years old do it.

"What is Ilene so upset about?"

"When you're out with Ilene, next time you wave at a strange woman you'd better be riding in a float in a parade."

"It's not my fault that that all these women are paying attention to me."

"You're a real babe magnet right now."

"I wouldn't go that far."

"Hello." A woman smiled.

"Hello, I'm Al Magnet. I mean, Al Borland, and it's nice to meet you."

"Christine Dempsey. Sorry to bother you, but, um, I've broken my heel, and I read about how good you are with your hands."

"You know, I have a tool kit for just such an emergency."

"He also has an emergency inflatable raft in case the kitchen floods. You know, the kitchen?"

"Oh, boy. You have a lovely foot. A very lovely knee. A heck of a thigh."

"I wouldn't go any higher, Al."

"Your hands are so warm."

"Well, I've always had very good circulation."

"You're about ready to be put out of circulation, Al."

Jill and Ilene walked out, looking pretty steamed towards us. Raising my hands, I indicated that I had stayed out of it and that it was Al's doing. He had a nervous look on his face which wasn't helping his case right now. Both Jill and Ilene were glaring at Al darkly. I gave that same glare 15 years later when Hannah had her heart broken by a boy.

"Christine, Ilene. Ilene is my friend."

"Your friend? I'm your friend?"

"My good friend. Girlfriend. That's the word I was l was looking for."

Christine walked off with a roll of her eyes and ignored Jill and me. Al was about to be in some big time trouble.

"What is happening to you? You were flirting with all these other women. It's like l don't even exist."

"Ilene, that's not true! It's Oh Excuse me, please."

Al ran off after Ilene and Jill gave me a dark look that indicated I was about to be in some major trouble. When that look was given, I knew I was about to pay for something, but I didn't care at that point. While I knew Al was in the wrong, he was living every guy's fantasy. Women flocked him from all over the place!

"I cannot believe he acted that way. He flirted with every woman here."

"Those women were coming on to him."

"He's like a different person."

"Usually he's out clog dancing with his mother. He's acting like a guy."

"You think it's normal to ignore a woman on your 15-month anniversary?"

"I don't think it's normal to celebrate a 15-month anniversary. Give the guy a break. He's just living out every guy's fantasy."

"Excuse me? Every guy's fantasy?"

"Every guy's fanta Single guys. Married guys don't have fantasies. They're taken away from them. It's a good thing, 'cause then you get to you know, give all your attention to your wife, year after year. You know, month in, month out, day after day until you're dead."

"You've just swept me off my feet all over again."

Al walked back and sat down as he groaned sadly. It meant Ilene had gone off and he was in big trouble with her. I saw Ilene potentially breaking up with him, but that theory was just something I was toying with. I didn't dare say it out loud or Jill would have my head for saying it. I knew she was about to get onto Al and I wasn't about to do or say something.

"Well, Ilene just refused to talk to me. She got in the cab and left."

"Well, I don't blame her. Now, get in your car and go after her. Tim thinks that ever since you read that magazine article that you've lost that that teddy-bear quality we all love."

"He still has that. It's just every girl wants to squeeze the stuffing out of him."

"Tim, you should tell him if he keeps behaving like this he'll lose Ilene, the best thing that ever happened to him."

"The only thing that ever happened to him."

"That's not true."

"Would you please be serious and talk some sense into him?"

"You want me to tell him being wanted by every girl in Detroit is bad? And do that with a straight face? I can't say that. I can't do it."

"You're gonna sit there and not say anything?"

I looked at Jill and got the harshest glare I can recall. To this day, she hasn't given me that look since. I've gotten one similar from Hannah when I didn't approve of her now deceased husband. The look hurt. I knew I was about to get in big trouble.

…...

Dad was working on the set, getting ready with Hannah and I sitting in our spots. I had finished feeding her and was now waiting for her to settle down. It wasn't nap time, but it was "quiet time" where she'd relax for a bit. The show was a good idea to Mom so we decided to keep doing it until her second birthday. After that, we'd see where things went and decide from there.

Al was a few minutes late which was unlike him. Lately, he had been arrogant and thought he was all that, the same thing Dad did. He didn't always do it, but it was annoying when he did. Anyways, we spent the time playing with Hannah. Al came in and I knew he'd get a lecture from Dad.

"Where have you been?"

"Guess what happened when I got home.

"Al, you're an hour late."

"Well, I had a lot of calls to return from my admirers. It's a good thing l got this cellular phone."

"Cellular phone, Al?"

"That's right. Oh, and listen, if anybody asks, here's my number."

"OK, I'll drop it off at the pound."

"When I get home, in the parking garage two women are waiting for. Twins.

"Maybe they needed a place to park, Al."

"Well, they wanted to park Al, all right! Those women really wanted to get their hands on 'Detroit's rugged Mr. Fix-lt.' And who could blame them?"

"Can you hand me that sledgehammer? See if I can pound your head back to the normal size."

It was funny to watch them fight, it was like Mom and Dad fighting. Except Dad had his head on straight this time while Al didn't. It was a reversal role and I found it funny. To not seem rude, I hid my laughs and focused on Hannah who was eating at my shirt. She was teething so it hurt a little but that was okay since she didn't know better.

"I'm telling you, they really wanted to get ahold of me. Part of me wanted to get ahold of them. What would you do if you were single and these women were paying you attention? It's becoming clear that it's a big world out there, and l shouldn't limit myself to just Ilene."

"I hate to admit it, but l think Jill's right. Before Ilene came along, your black book consisted of one number - your mom's."

"Well, that's all changed now.

"Why? Because of one magazine article? Did you notice they put one zero extra on your salary? You carry it around with you?"

"Oh, man! So this is why everybody was paying attention to me?"

"No, that's not the only reason. They picked you as most eligible bachelor for a lot of reasons. That's just a typo. You are a good hard-working guy. ou're ha-handsome in a way, you know. The point is there's a woman that's always found you sexy, and she didn't have to read it in a magazine."

"And llene was the first one to recognize my understated sense of humor."

"Tim, do you mind setting up by yourself?"

"Al, l am setting up by myself."