Lissa said nothing more and I let her leave, confused. I waited a moment, and then started up the stairs to our room. The door was shut and I could faintly hear the muffled sounds of Roza crying. MY eyes widened and I was shocked. What could Lissa have possibly said to her? Was it something bad?

I gave her another moment and then opened the door softly, shutting it behind me. I made my way to the bed, sitting down on the side. "Rose," I breathed, finally.

I gently took the pillow from her grasp and set it aside, lying down on the bed next to her and holding her tightly. She cried, hiding her head in my chest, letting it all out. I wasn't sure what this was all about, but it was something that was enough to upset Rose to the point where her best friend wouldn't say anything.

I didn't say anything to her, letting her get it out of her system and simply held her tight, not letting her go. Soon, her crying slowed and she breathed in shuddering breaths. It broke my heart to see her so miserable and I knew, somehow, it had to do with me.

"Roza," I said softly, gently, letting my guard down. "I'm here if you want to talk."

I watched her, her face still hidden. She seemed to be gathering strength to talk to me and I kissed her head softly, letting her know I was willing to give her that strength if she needed it. I waited patiently for her to figure out what she was going to do.

Finally she started from the beginning, explaining how Lissa had noticed how much less I spent time with Roza. She told me how careful I seemed to make sure I wasn't alone with Rose so she could test me. As she went on about the rejection, I felt immensely guilty and horrible. I hadn't realized it affected her this much.

I listened to her finish up, hearing her out; trying to sort my thoughts into words I could explain to her. "She didn't do anything bad," she concluded, tears leaking out the corners of her eyes.

She hid again, and I tilted her head up with my hand, looking her in the eyes. "Roza, I'm so sorry," I whispered.

I couldn't believe it. Even Lissa had noticed how I tried not to spend too much time alone with Rose because of the way she knew, and tested me. She was the only one who knew me so well, and sometimes it scared me that we knew each other so well….

Finally, I managed to collect my thoughts and started explaining, "Rose, the only reason I do that is because I'm afraid to lose control when I'm around you. You're the only one who knows me so well and can push my buttons, and sometimes it scares me. I'm also afraid that if I lose control in public, then your future as a guardian would be ruined. I only want what's best for you. When I push you away, you have no idea how hard it is for me to resist you every single day….I still love you and I want you," I finished softly.

I watched her expression, wondering what her take on all of this was. I saw her eyes fill up with more tears and they spilled down her face as she looked down. I gently wiped away her tears from her face, not wanting her to feel sad. Yet, somehow I knew that she knew that I still loved her no matter what and always would. She seemed to be battling something in her mind and I waited to see if she could ever forgive me, which she most likely would. But, I couldn't forgive myself for all the hurt I was causing her.

Finally, slowly, she leaned up, wrapping her arms around my neck and tangling her fingers in my hair. She tilted her head to the side, almost hesitant, like I would reject her like I usually did. The controlled part of me told me to stop her before we could get deeper into the issue of me losing control around her often. Yet, some other part won out and I snaked one arm around her waist, pulling her tight against me, while my hand cupped her face, bringing her lips closer to mine.

Her lips were warm and sweet as they finally moved with mine, kissing me with everything she had. All control was out to window suddenly, and I wanted her, but that rational part kept me in check, reminding me that she was still young and inexperienced in a way. I needed to take it slow with her and take my time, treasuring her.

I moved my hand from her face and braided it in her hair, loving her long hair I had told her not to ever cut, to wear it up for people to see her molnija marks. "Mm, Dimitri," she groaned.

I moved away to let her breathe and found her cheeks slightly flushed, obviously embarrassed. I didn't acknowledge that and continued to kiss her like never before.

Sorry it's shorter than usual, but I couldn't figure out what else to put in there without ruining the next chapter. XD Oh, well at least it's something.

SONGS:

Consider Me Gone-Reba McIntire

Crush-David Archuleta

Falling Slowly-Glenn Hansard