A/N:I had an enjoyable day at school today, and it was...instantly ruined the day I went on Tumblr. Tumblr used to be so nice, why is it full of fucking assholes and jerks? I think this idea I've come up with is brilliant, and those who want nothing but canon Harry, nice little, soldier, puppet, naive, badly characterized, and mismanaged Harry, should look elsewhere. I play my characters how I want to. You don't like that? Get lost and stop making some stranger's life on the Internet hell and make them break down just because you want to.
Think before you send anon hate or a hate message. You don't know that person or what situations they've been in throughout their lives. This is what makes me hate online media. But I could never hate , it's helped me too much. I thank you all for being kind and patient, through my depression spells and writer's block, this site helps me more than words could ever express. And for that, I would like to apologize, but I will be dumping some angst on this chapter, just to deal with my feelings.
this chapter is very short for reasons. notably, I'm tired, so enjoy what's here and I'll put in his memories tomorrow on the next chapter.
Chapter 37 Pained Recollections and...Shizuo loves Izaya?
Izaya sat up on his bed, looking at the occupied space beside it in disbelief. Why Shizuo had chosen to stick by the informant's side was anybody's guess. Was it because he felt bad for the informant, for having been given the title of the Boy-Who-Lived, led through a destiny that was not his, tortured by everyone and everything he knew, and unloved?
As he watched Shizuo's chest rise up and down, a strange feeling sprouted in Izaya's chest. Normally he'd be telling the protozoan to get off his bed. But now, he was strangely...welcoming of it. Having the blond by him was enough to help him...if he wanted to get through those nightmares of his. He was fairly certain he'd have them again. When didn't he have them, though, was the question.
"Pretty soon, that old fart will either die by Voldemort's hands or by my own hands. Or else old age will come claim him. If he dies before I get to carry out my revenge, someone up there is messed up." He said to himself, before he chuckled softly, rummaging around in a drawer until he took out a single solo, white feather. It was all that remained of his precious owl.
His only friend who hadn't manipulated or used him.
Then again, she was dead. Hermione was dead. Despite all his tauntings of the girl, he'd had reason to believe that she truly had meant well. If things had gone differently, perhaps he'd have continued being the 'tool' he was supposed to be-
His fist smashed the table.
Like hell that would ever happen.
Izaya let a single tear fall down his face. He must not show weakness.
"Izaya?"
Dammit, why did he have to be caught now?
Izaya turned, in time to see Shizuo was awake, rubbing his eyes drowsily.
"Flea, I'm only here because I'm your partner in this crap-Izaya, flea, why the fuck are you crying-?"
But Izaya couldn't speak. In one of these rares instances, Izaya Orihara just needed someone to talk to. He said nothing, pushing himself up against Shizuo's chest, and then letting the silent tears fall, while Shizuo had a mixture of pity and annoyance on his features.
"Goddamn flea, you're making me soft. Whoever these idiots are, I'm gonna pulverize them terribly. But not before beating the shit out of you. Only I get to lay a hand on you."
"That's Shizu-chan's idea of love, isn't it?" Izaya chuckled, before pulling away from the other.
"Love? Flea, I-"
"Shizu-chan, I've realized it for a while now. I'm too drawn to your stupidity. I'm in love with you!"
Shizuo blinked and then gaped, open-mouthed.
"What the fuck happened to the flea?"
"I'm still here, Shizu-chan. I'm just asking if I can do this."
Izaya wrapped his arms around the other, but not before his face met the wall.
"HOLD ON A SECOND, IZAYA! EVERYTHING'S GOING TOO DAMNED FAST. ONE SECOND, YOU TELL ME YOU'RE A WHIZZER OR WHATEVER, THEN THESE CRAZED LOONS ARE CHASING YOU, NOW YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH ME! AND I SUPPOSE YOU FRAMING ME-"
"Is my own twisted form of love, you know, the way that the sweet old man taught me to believe in." Izaya said.
"...Right. Izaya. I...I...GODDAMMIT, I FUCKING LOVE YOU! I need to go rinse my mouth out!" Shizuo growled, before stumbling toward Izaya's bathroom.
"Subtle," Izaya called after him.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, FLEA!"
Izaya shook his head in amusement as he sat on his bed.
When Shizuo came back, he looked at Izaya.
"Flea, you were screaming in your sleep." He said in worry. "What did they do to you?"
Izaya laughed bitterly. "What didn't they do to me, Shizu-chan? They manipulated me. I just remembered how my memory and personality was altered, constantly. How much I screamed."
Shizuo's fist tightened. "These people are dead, flea. When I get my hands on them-"
"Shush, Shizu-chan," Izaya said, "All in due process. For now, we plan how we're going to get back at them. But let me tell you about the dream. It wasn't very pleasant." He muttered.
Slowly, he relaxed.
Shizuo stared at Izaya. "Hey, flea you don't look so good."
If Shizuo didn't know better, he'd say that Izaya almost looked...sad and lonely. Not unlike the first impression he'd had of the boy when he had first introduced himself and gloated about wanting to be friends with a strong monster like Shizuo. He honestly couldn't believe that the man he'd hated for this long was this broken.
A man he was only now starting to accept and treat as...a friend?
The whole idea of befriending Izaya Orihara was so unbelievable to him. Maybe because for most of his life, the thought of Izaya was only as the worst person imaginable. When he'd looked at him, he saw that Izaya was a cruel bastard. Now, however, he could look beneath it and see that yes, Izaya was cruel, but he could see why. Izaya had not had much of a choice in the matter of how he was treated-and his coping mechanism was to be just as cruel as the world that had been cruel to him was.
It was the most tragic form of karma, he supposed, that a world so cruel would get that treatment back on them tenfold.
"Izaya," He began, "How well did you disguise yourself?"
"Very well," He said, "In fact, Shizu-chan, my face is the result of good old plastic surgery. It's different from how it used to be."
"You mean you looked different?" Shizuo remarked.
When Izaya didn't answer, he smiled. "I figured, flea. Red eyes aren't natural. You're different, Izaya, but that's what I like about you."
Izaya looked at him before sighing. "Too bad the rest of the Wizarding World couldn't think that way."
"Yeah, well the rest of your wizard friends are all a bunch of idiots, with the exception of that black-haired guy, and even he was cowardly." He snarled, still remembering Lupin and how worthless he was.
"They really are hopeless, aren't they?" Izaya chuckled, "Still, let me just tell you a few words about how the man known as Orihara Izaya came to be. Even though you've already heard quite a deal about it-"
"You like talking of yourself most, flea," Shizuo said, laughing.
Izaya merely smirked.
"Let me go ahead and say, have you ever wondered...exactly how someone like me was born?"
Shizuo lit a cigarette. "Can't say I do, flea."
"Yes?" Izaya said, "What you don't know could hurt you."
"I don't care, flea. You're Izaya Orihara to me, and you're one of my archenemies."
"And?"
"One of my...friends."
"Andddddd~?" Izaya stressed the word, annoying the blond more.
"And you're my...b-bo..."
"Oh my, Shizu-chan can't even bring himself to say the word, can he?" Izaya chuckled.
"Shut up, flea!" Shizuo snarled.
"All right, then, I'm your boyfriend, is that it?" Izaya chirped.
"Yes..." Shizuo muttered, flushing.
"Shizu-chan's blushing. How embarrassing. Let me tell him exactly what it was like being gay at a young age, and then having my memories and personality rewritten!" He said cheerily.
Shizuo gaped, open-mouthed. "That sounds...painful." He mumbled.
"You're telling me."
Harry was thrown onto the ground.
"Professor Dumbledore, Harry doesn't care about saving the Wizarding World. He admitted it to us!" Hermione begged.
Dumbledore glared down at the boy who looked at him with admiring eyes.
"Headmaster," He said, "Please, make them see reason. I don't really want to save this school that's been hurting and mistreating me."
"Ah, Harry," He began. The young boy listened.
"You should know better."
Ron entered the room then, beet red with anger. "We caught him...trying to hit on me! It was disgusting! That upset Ginny, she started crying, saying that Harry should be flirting with her, and-"
"Headmaster," Harry began, "It's natural to be this way."
Dumbledore shook his head. "No, my boy. You are to be the savior, and you are not to be anything but a...deviant."
"That's right!" Ron snapped. "Become a straight like the rest of us."
Hermione left the room, unwilling to see Harry get tortured.
However, Ron stuck around to watch as Harry got tortured.
"You will have your memories rewritten yet again." Dumbledore said icily.
"What are you talking about?" Harry screamed.
All he knew was that a wand was pointed at him and Albus Dumbledore didn't look so friendly anymore.
"I'm sorry, my boy, but this is for the Greater Good," He said sarcastically as he fired a spell.
Next memory
"Did you hear that? Potter's gay!" His classmates taunted as Dudley and his friends ganged up on him.
"You're not just a freak, you're a real freak!" Dudley sneered. "You know what Mummy says happens to freaks, right? They die!"
"Yeah, well, your mummy is just as freakish as anyone else!" Harry cried.
He could recall the teachers having been told to ignore his bruises.
Third memory
"Mister Potter," Minerva began, "I've noticed you seem very unwilling to speak with Mr. Weasley."
"He mistreated me!" Harry said, "I wanted to talk to him, but he's being an asshole and a jerk! I found him attractive and he was repulsed by me!"
"Mister Potter, you will not use such foul language. And being homosexual is a mental illness. If you keep it up, you could be accused of stalking and harassing Mr. Weasley." Minerva said sharply.
"But he called me the f word!" He said, "And he and some other boys locked me in a closet!"
"Mister Potter, you have homework due from a week ago. Is this your excuse? Mister Weasley now abducts your homework? I would suggest you might as well complain about homework rather than silly squabbles between friends."
"But-"
He stopped.
The look Ron was giving him-it was the look of malice that said no one would believe him after this. And he was right.
Fourth Memory
Izaya turned to look at Shinra.
"So, Shinra," He said lazily, "You'll accept absolutely anyone?"
"Of course! Humans are strange, but that doesn't mean I won't be interested." Shinra said.
"Even if I happened to be homosexual?" Izaya said.
"Why not?" Shinra said, "Gay people are people, too!"
He didn't see the smile that crossed Izaya's face before it morphed into a smirk.
"Izaya, were you smiling just now?"
"Was not."
"Yes, you were!"
"Was not."
"Oh, Izaya's such a tsundere." Shinra teased, poking Izaya, who jumped back, not used to physical contact.
Izaya just blinked.
"Oh, you know, it's a person who's rude one second and then a nice person."
"Oh, but Shinra, don't you think I'm a twisted person through and through?" Izaya purred.
"I don't really think so." Shinra said. "You seem more like you've never been loved. But Celty can give that love to you!"
"I figured you were going to say that," Izaya huffed.
"Oh, come on, Izaya! It was a joke! What more do I need to do?" Shinra moaned.
"Well, for starters," Izaya suggested, "You could go and marry Celty. You go on and on about this Celty person of yours, and I haven't even met her."
Shinra froze. "You've never met her? You need to meet her! She has no head."
Izaya paused and then looked at him. "Really? That's fascinating. I'd love to."
Shinra looked at him in shock. "You're the first person who hasn't screamed. Most people are terrified!"
"I love all my humans, even the strange ones." Izaya said.
"You are a strange one, Izaya," Shinra remarked. From what he could tell of the black-haired teen, Izaya operated on a different level of logic, but Shinra was weird and Izaya was, too, so that didn't really matter much.
He figured the boy came from another country, perhaps an English one?
"Hey, Izaya, you're from a foreign country, right?"
Izaya nodded. "Yes."
Why was it Izaya was always so cold and calculating? Just like a snake.
Later...
"I'm home, my precious Celty!" Shinra cried.
Izaya was wary of Shinra's parents at first, but they were accepting of him. Even if he suspected that Shingen knew more than he let on about him, the man never told him if he knew of wizards existing.
What he hadn't expected to see was a woman with no head come walking towards him. It was a fascinating sight. He stared at her.
The figure looked at him before quickly typing on her device.
'Shinra, I'm not just an object to be looked at.'
"Aww, Celty, you're adorable. This is my friend, Izaya, from school." Shinra said.
'The creep?' Celty wrote.
"He's not just a creep, he's my friend." Shinra said.
Izaya walked towards her. "So you must be the Celty I've heard so much about. Pleasure to meet you, I'm Izaya Orihara."
'Is that a British accent you have?' Celty typed.
Izaya's mouth fell open. "No, not quite. I'm just a foreigner, that's all."
'Nice to meet you, Izaya. Aren't you bothered by me not having a head?' She typed.
Izaya shrugged. "No, au contraire, I find it fascinating."
He'd always thought that Celty was surprised that Izaya hadn't judged her for being headless, but seeing as he was a former wizard, nothing could surprise him. It was only rational that he would accept human differences.
"Izaya," Shizuo said, but then he noticed that the brunette was on the verge of falling asleep, his slim figure leaning on the other's for support.
"Shizu-chan," He muttered, "I'm tired. Let me rest for a while. I'm also hungry."
"Flea, I-" Shizuo began, but suddenly realized something important.
"Aw, crap!" He cried, throwing himself out of Izaya's bed.
"What is it?" Izaya said smugly.
"I'm late for work with Tom!" He cried.
"Oh," Izaya muttered, having forgotten about that.
"Look, flea, don't do anything stupid, okay? I'm the only one allowed to hurt you, all right? If those magical idiots show up, I'll kick their asses!"
"Nice to know how much of a supportive lover you are, Shizu-chan!" Izaya purred.
As Izaya was walking down the street later that day, he didn't expect to run into two familiar redheads.
"If it isn't Fred-san and George-san." Izaya remarked, "What brings you two here?"
"We...wanted to apologize," they said in unison.
"Apologize, hm? When in fact, you two are every bit as cowardly as Ron-kun," He whipped out his switchblade. "I trusted in you two and what did you do? You have almost spilled news of my existence to Ron, who is responsible for me as I am today."
"Listen, Ron is regretful for what he did!" Fred said.
"Oh, poor Fred and George. Here you are, defending your disgusting brother." Izaya shook his head sadly.
"He's our blood!"
"That would be like me attempting to defend the Dursleys. I trusted you two and this is how you repay me."
"We're sorry, Izaya! You've changed so much and we didn't even know until now! Ron confessed to us that he used to bully you and he regrets it!"
Izaya's eyes widened.
"You're kidding me, right? The day that Ron Weasley apologizes for anything is the day the wizards stop being idiots. Which will never happen, by the way."
"No, mate, we're telling the truth."
Izaya looked at them...honestly looked at them...before he started laughing.
"Mate!"
But Izaya continued to laugh, maniacally, until he spoke up.
"You really are foolish idiots if you expect me to believe that claptrap." Izaya said, his crimson orbs burning in amusement.
"He's looking for you!"
"Well, I'll put a bullet between his eyes! I have no need for that world." Izaya remarked. "The only people I needed were you two. But you two betrayed me so easily, hm?"
Fred and George shuddered at the other's wrath. "Look, Izaya, we were wrong!"
"Of course. I was wrong to trust in any of the wizards. What you did was show me that no matter what wizard it might be, they're all the same."
"Hold on, isn't that the same as the rest of the people assuming terrible things about you?"
Izaya chuckled. "And I also happen to recall that during school, when all those awful rumors were being spread about me, you guys did nothing to stop it. You didn't do a thing to stop Ron from bullying me, if I recall also."
"It was our-"
"Your family's reputation mattered more. Oh dear. Now you're crawling back to me, attempting to gain favor, isn't that right?"
George frowned for a second...before a firework whizzed by Izaya's head.
"Actually, we are sorry!" Fred said, "So much so that we've decided to give you a gift of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes! That's partially why we came here!" He said, afraid that the raven-haired male would kill him before he could finish his sentence. "We were hoping that you might prank Heiwa-something again."
"Ah, but he and I are dating." He said.
"But Harry!" They cried.
"Look," Fred said, "When we first met you, we didn't know how to react. You acted every bit like the hero from stories, but sooner or later, we realized the way our family was treating you wasn't right. We did speak up, but our mom threatened us. She said if we tried to help you or tell you anything, we'd be in worse trouble than we could imagine. When we gave you the Marauder's Map, that was our way of trying to help you. But we failed..."
Izaya looked at them, surprise evident in his eyes. "Go on."
"Because of that, we resigned ourselves to believing you were dead, and we decided we would bully Ron for the rest of our lives. We know you're a sociopath now, Izaya, but we want forgiveness!" They pleaded as one.
"George here is a bit of a nitwit. We're sorry for not seeing that you needed help. We're sorry for not coming to you, we're sorry that we trusted our family over you. We shouldn't have."
Izaya was silent. "I see." He muttered before he turned. "Shouldn't those apologies have been given to me after I'd been injured?"
"Well, you know, our parents were there and whatnot. We didn't know what to do," Fred confessed, "We figured if anyone would leave, it was going to be you, Izaya. We're happy you have a life here, but if Ron comes, promise us you won't-"
The malicious look on Izaya's face told them all they needed to know.
"Izaya, you're a better person now! Don't sink yourself to his level."
"Ron will have to serve jail time for murdering Hermione, hm?" He said.
"I suppose you're right. Does this mean that we're-"
"That you're forgiven? Far from it. While I am glad you cared about me, it still doesn't help that you allowed your family to treat me in such a way."
"Please!" Fred begged.
"You know," Izaya said sadly, "In another life, Fred and George, we could have been the worst of enemies, or the closest of friends. I'm saddened to say that in this universe, it will be neither."
"You trust us?" George exclaimed, having started to cry by now.
"Don't get that excited. I didn't finish my sentence. What I meant is...that you are neither my ally nor my friend. You two are just mere acquaintances of mine. You don't hang around here anymore, you don't try and use me anymore, because I'm not really going to buy it. I might use your products, but treat me as a mere Muggle that you just met. Because, you have seen me only as Harry Potter. I would like you to erase him from your memories and see me as only Izaya. You'll treat me as a stranger."
"All right, mate! I was expecting you to actually...banish us." Fred said hesitantly.
"Banish you? No, I've merely destroyed the image of the so-called savior from your minds. Now you just see me as a new person. That's all I ask." He said simply.
Fred and George traded glances, pausing, almost like they were thinking.
"All right, we accept. See you...Izaya Orihara." They said as they Disapparated.