Chapter Thirty-Eight: A Certain Wit

A/N: I know, I'm a little shit for cockblocking my readers in the last chapter but don't worry, the smut is here! Love writing it; it's like my thing. Okay, enough pillow talk! Have fun! :D

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Allegra rode in the back of the van, sitting opposite of Joker. He simply sat with his leg crossed over the other, fiddling with his pocket knife. Clicking the button, watching it shoot out of its placement then snapping the blade right back into its origin. He did this repeatedly, a smile dawning his rigid good looks each time.

Meanwhile, Allegra was content in just watching him. Her thoughts were burning her from the inside out, a growing bonfire inside a small, narrow pipeline that could only surpass so much desire. She bit her lip, thinking of all the stuff he'd done so far...and the possibilities of what further chaos he could bestow on Gotham.

Infringing on the mob's savings, killing Gambol...that lovely moment when Brian Douglas was screaming from behind the doors was a good indication Joker had been having a better time than he. The unmistakable roughness that Joker naturally carried in his face and the way he just did things to amuse him. Allegra found him potentially more appealing than ever, knowing he was relentless...and he had no rules. Because of this, Allegra could never quite figure him out—not that she wanted to.

For the reason of his unpredictability, he scared her...and she loved it.

One thing she loved most was his spontaneity, even if his orders changed from one to the drastic other with the whiplash of a hasty, impatient driver with a nagging cautious passenger. Allegra imagined he was the driver who would stop suddenly at a stop light and then race ahead just to piss off the other cars attempting to pass him. Allegra smiled inwardly; it seemed like something he would do just for the hell of it, and to be the fly in someone's ointment—order be damned.

Allegra closed her eyes, attempting restraint. 'Self-control'...Allegra had done this with Brian Douglas; she hadn't killed him before the ill-fated occurrence. But that didn't keep her from wanting to do the same thing Joker had done. She'd fallen out of that wonderful kill. It was obvious she had trouble keeping her thoughts away from the man who was clicking the switchblade and snapping it back.

She sighed impatiently.

Allegra moved forward, taking away Joker's pocketknife out of his hand. He opened his mouth to send a retort in her direction but Allegra cut him off with a hard kiss—it was by no means gentle of any kind. She moved his legs so she could sit on them comfortably, straddling his waist. She said nothing in the process, only taking what she really wanted—and that was him.

"You are the most impatient woman I've ever met," Joker stated after she broke from a long kiss of which the French would be impressed.

Darren, the driver of the moving van, looked at the rear view mirror curiously and cast his eyes back on the road with some effort. He clearly was trying to ignore them. Allegra smiled at his valiant effort—Darren didn't seem too bothered of her outward passion for the boss. He didn't seem uncomfortable because of a jealousy, but because he had grown relatively fond of both Allegra and Joker. It was the fact that Joker was being aggressively kissed by his second-in-command that made Darren clear his throat with discomfort

"I have no self-control, remember," Allegra reminded him in a calm voice but her fingers were prodding on his shoulders with a tic...the desire in her loins was spreading to other parts of her body like a systemic poison.

Joker licked his scars with a chuckle.

"I do." He recanted. He was very aware of Allegra's hips moving against him, a little dance to make him want her. But he had more restraint than she anticipated. "All good things to those who wait."

"I don't want to wait," she hissed.

"Mmm, then you'll be very disappointed." Joker replied. He smiled. "I didn't realize I had such an affect on you, Allegra. Are you that attracted to me?"

Allegra narrowed her eyes at him as she spoke: "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"In more ways than one," he returned.

"You're a tease."

"And you're my squeeze," Joker responded deeply, knowing it made her shiver.

"Why can't you just take me now?" Allegra pleaded, dropping all proceeds. She didn't care to try and make him want her more. It was obvious who was winning.

He took her hands from his vest, in a way that was almost business-like. His face didn't change any emotion when he moved her hands just underneath her, where she could feel just how much he did want to take her. Allegra sighed with content, smirking at him.

"There's a time and place for everything," said Joker calmly. He took one of her hands and kissed the back of it. "This isn't one of them."

Allegra frowned when he clicked his tongue twice, glancing at the seat beside him in an indirect order for her to get off him. She scoffed at the order, but did as she was told. He put his arm around her shoulders, moving her close to him.

She shifted uneasily in her seat for the rest of the ride while her mind and body tortured her with endless ideas of what she and Joker could be doing if he only gave her an ounce of slack.

(())

Allegra followed Darren into the house, which was getting untidier as the days had gone by. The kitchen was lacking in a bit of TLC—the 'children' had divulged in beer contests, competing against each other of who could drink the most alcohol in a sitting. So far, it seemed as though Steve was the winner, mainly because he was too unhappy with his life. Being hit with a gun from the very woman who attempted to rape him later (unsuccessful due to Joker's interference) might have been the cause for the downcast of his ego, if it hadn't been for that stubborn whim of his.

Darren had ignored Steve's prior suggestion of leaving, quitting Joker's team. Despite Steve's insistence, the two boys, and Richard knew that there was no quitting, only retirement with a permanent ending in a ground, buried until one couldn't breath anymore.

Richard was content with his situation, not feeling that his 'hiring' was completely forced. He'd killed two of his best friends; the beer drinking sometimes helped ease off that tension and the friendships he made between Steve and Darren was a bit of a compensation.

However, out of the three, Darren thrived. He was the perfect stable hand in a barn full of animals. He kept Steve in check, buddied around with Richard, and did whatever Joker asked of him without a second thought. He was a human robot—coordinated to do whatever they asked.

Seeing the boys in the living room, Allegra glanced at them all. Darren stood back on his feet, seeing the lady enter the room. Realizing his gentleman gesture, Allegra smiled with amusement, nodding to him. Steve merely glared at her; Richard smiled at her with acknowledgment. When Joker entered, a different air filled the room—Steve was at attention (fearfully); Richard was more alert and Darren greeted Joker with a "Hey, there's my main man!"

Joker found his greeting to be a little too friendly but he did like his mannerism towards Allegra. Steve on the other hand...was Steve.

Joker ignored them, following Allegra into the kitchen. She kicked off her heels as she walked, moving into the room; opening the refrigerator, she pulled out a wine cooler (Allegra didn't like beer) , opened the stopper and drank it all without breathing. Joker watched her curiously.

"Drinking away your sorrows, dear?" Joker asked, taking the bottle from her.

"Not much of a sorrow," said Allegra breathlessly.

"Really?"

"I'm horny, you're putting me off—I need an outlet and I'm certainly not fucking a kid." Allegra remarked, referring to Darren and Steve who were still in their late teens. Richard was maybe in his early twenties; he was scruffy-looking but not old enough for Allegra apparently.

Joker took the bottle she had begun to open, putting it on the counter.

"I love watching you needle around in your sexual frustration." He told her plainly. "Stop ruining my fun."

"Your fun?" Allegra retorted incredulously.

Joker giggled at her response. He watched her pass him to get her wine cooler, snatching it before he could reach out and nab it. Joker didn't seem to mind as she finished that one off as well, only to continue to a third. He simply sat on the couch, joining his goons.

"You see the video?" Darren asked, watching the television; it was set on GCN news watch.

Joker leaned forward, forearms on his knees as he watched the result of his video taped with Brian Douglas, not before laughing at Mike Engel for warning the audience: "This video just arrived to Gotham Central News; be warned—this video is disturbing."

Then played the video tape.

He gauged Darren's reaction—he was happy. Steve looked horrified and Richard was indifferent. Allegra walked into the living room with her fifth wine cooler in her hand (to her, they tasted like a kool-aid, hence the drinking), watching the video with genuine interest. She sat beside Joker on the couch as the men sat around the coffee table like kids, as they played cards.

"Tell them your name," said the Joker on the tape.

"Brian...D-Douglas."

"Are you the real Batman?"

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"No," said TV-Joker, "Then why do you dress up like him!"

Allegra looked at the real Joker, giving him a look that drilled 'I hate you so much right now' for the sheer roughness he displayed on the video was making her want him even more. Joker smiled at her, and watched the news.

"He's a symbol that we don't have to be afraid of scum like you," said Brian—unconvincing, that tone.

"Yeah you do, Brian. You really do."

Allegra stared at the television; her binge drinking was lost. She lowered the wine cooler, engrossed in what the screen offered.

"Do you think Batman has made Gotham a better place, hmm?"

The late Douglas hadn't said anything in return, didn't even look at him or the camera. TV-Joker called him on it.

"Look at me," he said. When Brian refused, Joker shouted: "LOOK AT ME!"

Allegra jumped slightly at his tone. It wasn't a surprise to her that Douglas did look up. After all, he had no choice.

"You see," said TV Joker, "This is how crazy Batman's made Gotham. You want order in Gotham, Batman must take off his mask, and turn himself in. Every day he doesn't, people will die. Starting tonight. I'm a man of my word..." And erupted the laughter, then Brian's screaming started, interrupted by the static of the ending tape.

Continuing from there was Mike Engel, explaining something of another with the forecast of tomorrow and the week following. The audience was probably not aware of any of this for the movie was disturbing, even to Joker's men, who awkwardly turned to look at the man who made this video himself. Then slowly, Steve stood and ran up the stairs like a scared teenager. Richard smiled politely, then walked up the stairs, faster than intended.

Darren stood to his feet.

"Good shooting, Boss."

"Great shooting; there's no such thing as good shooting, kid," Joker remarked.

Darren nodded. He glanced at Allegra who was still watching the news but never really seeing it. Joker glanced in her direction, watching her fingers tilt the wine cooler as she drank the last of it with a need. If her body never deceived her, this was the first time in which Joker could clearly see her really pining for him.

"Darren," Joker said smoothly, "Care to do something for me?"

"Anything." Darren remarked immediately, like a soldier to his captain.

"Find an odorless poison, tasteless. And a bottle of chardonnay."

"Sure, Boss, but why?"

"How else are we going to poison Commissioner Loeb?" asked Joker sarcastically.

"Right, sure. Gotcha." Darren said. He grinned broadly: "Shouldn't be too hard."

"A great lockpick like yourself; I doubt it." Joker returned. "Bring Steve with you; you know what they say about idle hands."

Darren gave him a confused look but said nothing as he went upstairs to get Steve, who came after him shortly with eyes full of fear. He followed Darren, never looking at Joker or Allegra. Joker watched them with a hawk eye gaze before the door shut and his gaze returned to Allegra who sat on the arm of the couch, beside him.

"I'm getting another one," Allegra uttered. She stood to her feet, a bit clumsily for such a balanced acrobat.

Joker grabbed her by the waist, making her stumble into his lap. She made a soft 'oh' and craned her neck to look at him.

"Oh, now you're set to go, huh?" Allegra remarked sarcastically.

"Don't tell me you aren't." Joker stated. He touched her shoulders, moving her so her back slid against his chest. Allegra somewhat resisted, not for long though. "I can tell."

"You're lying." Allegra muttered. That must have been the wine talking for it was more than obvious she wanted him. Her nips were poking through her flannel shirt; her eyes looked at his bare hands that shifted from her waistline to her thighs. And the way her hips moved against him in a reverse dance.

"You've restrained yourself," said Joker notably. Without his purple jacket on, Allegra's body fit against his uniform. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, allowing her to see the muscular definition in his forearms. She wiggled on him with pleasurable discomfort.

"I have," Allegra agreed, knowing this was a fact. The build-up of tension between her legs was more than evidence to win a case.

Joker moved her hair to one shoulder farthest from him while he kissed the skin just along her jawline. He heard her shudder, the soft intake of an anticipated breath. His make-up was smudging against her skin, leaving red and white—it didn't matter to her. Her eyes were closed, rolled back in her head; lips parted a bit with a desire that was needed to be quenched, but not immediately. Joker had anticipated this just as much as she did, and a moment wasn't going to satisfy; he liked to see what he did to her, what affect he had just by kissing her neck, his tongue following just after.

Mike Engel on the news was going on about the late crimes, and how Allegra was still at large, along with the Joker. She was believed to be part of every one of Joker's acts—Joker smirked at the sudden revelation of Engel's ignorance. Allegra was more involved than they realized. Especially concerning this situation.

Joker touched his mouth to her ear, whispering his deep voice: "Lift your hips."

Allegra did as she was told; she aided him in pulling off her black slacks. He moved her back against his chest. He pulled off her shirt; she raised her arms instinctively; the rest of her was lucid to his every movement. One thing he personally enjoyed watching was how her hips never really stopped moving to feel him behind her; they had an automatic response to him.

Allegra turned her head, meeting his lips with a soft kiss, made so by him. It was restrained, a controlled kiss that teased her, making her want a rougher exchange. As they kissed, Joker touched his hands over hers, moving them up her thighs, her stomach, then over her breasts. He spread her fingers so she could feel how hard he made her nips. He moved the right over his head; their fingers tangled in his scraggly green-tinted blonde hair.

Joker took her other hand and brought two of her digits to his mouth. Allegra watched him lick her fingers, eyes widening. Joker's animal magnetism wasn't enough—he made her wet just with simple foreplay. It made it no easier to ignore the erotic storm when he took them in his mouth, sucking. She felt his tongue move around them.

"What about 'family comes first'?" Allegra remarked quietly.

Joker kissed the back of her hand as he'd done before, looking at her pointedly.

"Are you asking me to stop this just to check on the children?" Joker questioned.

"Mm-mm." Allegra replied, shaking her head.

"Then don't bring them up." Joker told her. "They give me a headache. It's nice to have time alone, for once."

Allegra looked at him with a smirk. "Have the children irritated you?"

Joker watched her turn on him, straddling him—it seemed to be her favorite way of sitting. She was only in her underwear, but the sight of her on him was something Joker always anticipated—even if she was fully dressed.

"You're too worried about them." Allegra told him.

"I'm not the worrying type," Joker remarked. He grabbed her hips, squeezing them with hard enough that Allegra exhaled a quiet 'mm!' in response, but grinned mischievously at him. He sat up, meeting her mouth with his.

"Maybe the job's getting to you," sighed Allegra.

"I love my job."

"Marital problems?"

"Could be," Joker replied. "I believed you to be disgusted at the idea of being the 'other' woman."

Allegra smiled at him, plain but a smile.

"Would you choose me over her?" Allegra asked him. Joker smiled at her question; hypothetical, sure, but it was just too funny how easily she could roleplay. It was as though it just came naturally.

"Any day of the week." Joker remarked.

"Kiss ass." Allegra breathed.

She touched her hands over his, guiding them as he'd done with her. She placed them over her breasts, her thumbs guiding his over her hardened nips. Joker gave them a light squeeze; she moaned involuntarily, but it was more than welcome. Once more, she drew him into a kiss, to which he returned responsively. He didn't need a tutorial so Allegra left his hands on her chest, so she could move into different territory; she began unbuttoning his vest, undoing his tie.

Their kissing became tantalizing; it gradually became rougher, as she moved her hips in a circular grind against him. Joker sat forward, leaving her body to take off his tie, vest, and the rest of his collared shirt, setting them aside. Then right back to the kissing.

"Can't imagine doing this with someone else," Allegra muttered, referring to the recent hypothetical wife. Her hands rubbed over his chest, nails grazing over his torso and defined arms while their lower halves continued to grind with more need, the beginning of a weathering storm.

Joker chuckled: "Did it with Maroni, didn't you?"

Allegra rolled her eyes saying, "You can't say you're not jealous if you keep bringing that blowhard back into the fucking conversation."

Joker sighed darkly with a smirk.

"Gotta love that dirty mouth of yours." Joker responded.

Allegra pushed him on the length of the couch. Before taking another sit on him, she undid his pants and pulled them down along with his boxers; he watched her rid of the last barrier between their naked bodies, her panties dropping at her ankles.

Allegra sat on him, a soft moan emitting from the both of them. She felt him harder than ever along her inner thigh. Joker found her heat intoxicating—she was a furnace of desire, getting hotter every second that passed as she continued to grind her hips with his. It was driving him crazy, but lord, did it feel good.

She lowered her lips to his chest, kissing his skin with her tongue. Her hands found his, pinning them on either side of his head just as her lips touched his neck, licking, nibbling. Allegra moaned suddenly, faltering her relentless dance when he pushed his hips against her, intentionally touching within the barrier of her sex.

"You forget, I can play that game too." Joker told her.

Allegra gave him a confused look, to which he explained without words. He snatched her hands and moved them onto the floor, pinning her on the carpet. Allegra let out a startled gasp, forgetting just how strong he was...only just.

"You're not playing fair."

"Who said anything about fair?" he returned. He entered inside of her—two thrusts in, two out—stopping it right there; both times, she moaned for him, and then his sudden stop made her writhe in need. She had a taste; now she was hungry.

Granted, she felt a bit irritated. Just a bit.

She pushed him off her, only for him to yank her back to him by her hair. Her back collided with his front. When it did, Joker held her against him with his arm over her chest, and moved the hand of the other over her exposed sex; he wasted no time in feeling her. He entered two digits, fingering her; Allegra stopped fighting him (or what would be somewhat 'fighting') and she submitted; her moans were more than vocal proof of that.

She was on her knees, spreading them to give him more access. He fingered her faster; her moans became a middle ground between pleasure and a painful realization that if he stopped, she wouldn't be able to recover from such a standstill. She went on all fours; Joker briefly ran his free hand over her back, to her lower—aside from the imprint he carved into her skin (with half being per her consent), she was flawless...minus the other minimal scarring from gun shots and knife stabbing.

He grunted when he sharply thrust inside from behind; she screamed, her fingers clutching mercilessly at the carpet.

"I know you want this," Joker growled, hearing her pained moans, "I can hear it."

She was pain, but after a few more insistent pull and push, Allegra was all moans; and he was all ears.

He forced her on her knees so she was being moved along with his rough motions; her hands moved behind him, grabbing at his butt, his hips, raking her nails down his arms or thighs. Joker smirked when she pleaded "Harder".

He moved her to the floor, his hands pinning hers to the carpet, palms down, fingers spread. She'd regret the carpet being there, carpet burn between her thighs and against her sex. She was eagle spread as his legs kept hers separated; she wanted harder...he did as she pleased.

Her screams were desperate, edging to a strong orgasm, feeling the tide coming in just before the storm. Underneath him, she was fighting, but only to appeal to him; after all, it was always better when the other one fought.

Allegra knew it just like he did. This thought alone made him rougher with her. He left one of her hands and moved to her neck, tilting her head back so he saw her pained expression—mostly out of the edging climax, some of it because he was doing what she asked—harder, she said.

"Sing for me, Allegra," Joker ordered.

She didn't have to try hard—her moans were loud enough to appeal to any sex-craving maestro. He felt his peak arising, and it passed with waves. He moaned with relief, but didn't stop; he wanted to hear her succumb. Allegra responded to each heated, rough stroke. She finally released when Joker yanked back her hair and kissed her hard to a point it almost hurt.

Her nails dug into the carpet, her body seized against him in a stirring of shakes and spasms. And the sound of her voice—oh boy, did he like that! Joker felt exhausted—Granted, he felt exhausted after a gunning war or a typical fight in a brawl, but this was almost overtaking. He rolled off her, onto his back, smiling.

Allegra remained on her front; the soreness was already starting; she imagined it'd only get worse as the day went on, and tomorrow it'd be downright sinful.

"I'm glad I didn't...tell you to stop." Allegra uttered, attempting to catch her breath.

Joker looked at her, attempting to do the same.

"Is that what you were conveying?" Joker inquired, laughing. "You have an odd way of communicating."

She picked herself up to her knees but looked uncertain. Joker watched her curiously; she touched the back of her thigh, looking at her hand as she placed it in front of her. There was blood. Joker raised his eyebrows at this, but didn't say anything close to amazement or an apology. It was as though he expected it.

"Huh..." She stated nonchalantly. She managed to her feet, stumbling a bit, before moving to the bathroom. Joker groaned, getting to his feet; he admitted only to himself that he might have taken it a bit too far. Then again, he got what he wanted; he felt fine...sore, but fine.

He took his clothes, walked up the stairs and went to bed.

Allegra took a shower, hissing inwardly at the stinging that was felt in her rectum. She smiled ironically—if she'd known any better, Joker would have raped her if she hadn't enjoyed it so much. The idea of it made her smile dwindle between sadistic appeal and admiration and a bit of fear. Then again, she conceded, she was no different.

Allegra wrapped a towel around her middle; it fell just above her thighs, covering enough but not as much as she'd like. She walked out of the bathroom, going upstairs awkwardly (The shower never cured soreness just like coffee never cleared a hangover). She went into the bedroom, dropping the towel and managed with soft painful grunts to slip under the covers. Her cold body met his warmth.

Apparently, he was still awake for he put his arm over her middle, moving her closer to him. He laid on his back as she placed one of her legs between his, getting close to him as possible. Their lips found the other, even in the darkness. The kiss he gave her was a longer one that she expected—it wasn't loving by any means, but it did regard her with a respect, a passion for his equal. Allegra returned it, lingering her tongue over his scars that she so admired.

"I found another thing I like about you that Maroni or" (Allegra laughed) "Batman, don't have."

"The list is on-going, isn't it, hm?" Joker asked her tiredly.

"It has an end, but to what extent, I'm not sure." Allegra told him. She continued. "You have a rapist wit."

Joker chuckled, saying in return, "It takes one to know one."

He touched her chin with his index finger and thumb, moving her lips to his for a peck. Too sore, too exhausted, and tired, Joker and Allegra didn't have much pillow talk left. They fell asleep, knowing they'd regret this whole act in the morning when the soreness had taken its hold.