On Sunday night, they're at Charlotte's kitchen table, making their way through several take-out containers of Chinese food, and Cooper is considering broaching the subject he's been thinking of since he left Violet's a few days earlier. He watches Charlotte eat — really eat — and smiles. She's thirteen weeks along as of yesterday, and what a difference a week has made. She's tearing her way through a carton of lo mein, no concern that it will revisit her in a few minutes. She's feeling better — visibly so — and he's not sure if it's time, or Pete, but either way he's glad for it. And it makes him think that maybe now is a good time to ask her. No better time than the present, right?
He shifts his sesame chicken around with his fork, and asks her carefully, "How would you feel if I stayed with Violet for a while?"
Charlotte just blinks at him. "Excuse me?"
"She just found out something that's pretty life-changing for her, and I think she could use the support."
It sounds reasonable, right?
Charlotte was nearly through a bite of noodles when he brought it up, and she chews one more time, slowly, then swallows. "What's goin' on?"
"I can't tell you that," he says, because he swore he wouldn't tell anyone about the pregnancy, and he's certainly not going to tell anyone who spends forty minutes twice a week with one of the potential fathers.
"Excuse me?" Charlotte asks again, and he can tell now that she's pissed — and not just by the way she stilled her fork halfway through twirling her noodles.
"She asked me not to tell anyone, and -"
"And I asked you not to tell anyone but your parents about our baby, but you ran off and told Violet anyway," Charlotte snaps. "So she owes me a damned secret, the way I see it. What's goin' on?"
She has a point there. And he can tell that not telling her is just going to make this worse.
"Okay…" He clears his throat lightly, sets his fork down. "She, uh, she just found out she's pregnant, and she's having kind of a hard time adjusting."
Charlotte's eyes go wide and furious. "Oh, you have got to be kiddin' me — you are a real piece of work sometimes, you know that?"
"What?"
"I told you I was pregnant and not to tell anyone and you told Violet," she reminds, like she didn't already just tell him this. "Violet tells you she's pregnant and not to tell anyone, and when I ask what's up, you say you can't tell me?"
"She asked me-"
"So did I!" she yells at him, slapping her fork back onto her plate with a clatter. "And to answer your question, I'd feel pretty damned pissed off. If you're gonna live with anyone because they're pregnant, it's gonna be me."
Okay. That's not at all what he expected her to say. They haven't talked about living together since he found out about the baby, not once, so he thinks it's a little left-field and unfair for her to be throwing that at him right now. And besides, it's not like she needs him — she's made that very clear in the last week and a half — especially now that her morning sickness seems to be waning, and Violet clearly does need him.
He tries to explain his reasoning to her: "Look, Charlotte, she needs me more than you do."
"What?"
"You're more self-sufficient, you don't need help, you don't need-"
"The hell I don't!" She's starting to look hurt as well as pissed, and Cooper's suddenly aware that he may be treading on very thin ice here. "I spent the last month and a half pukin' my guts up, draggin' my ass through the day because I was so tired, and I still had to do my job — both my jobs — and my dishes, and my laundry, and all that day-to-day crap, and deal with my dyin' father. You think I couldn't have used some help? You think it wouldn't have been nice to have more of your support than just a text message now and then, and you harpin' on me about seein' someone about how sick I was?"
"I've been supportive!" he defends. "I've been here, right here, wanting to help. I offered to help when you told me you were pregnant, and you never took me up on it. And I've tried to be there for you since then, and every time I try you shut me down."
She can't say he didn't try, because he did. As soon as she told him, he offered his help whenever she needed it, and he's given it, too, when she's let him. Which has been almost never. It's like pulling teeth to get her to let him in and she chooses now to suddenly want his attention?
"You offered because you felt like you had to, Cooper."
"No, I didn't."
"Yes, you did, and don't even try lyin' to me about it. You were still pissed about the practice, but I was carryin' your kid, so you were willin' to help if I needed. But don't think I had any illusions that it was me you were worried about—"
"Oh, come on, Charlotte. I think I've made it pretty clear that I'm worried about you, not just the baby. I wanted you to stay last week when you got upset after I gave you the card from my parents, and—"
"Because I was upset! And nothin' gets to you like me bein' upset. That's what got us back together in the first place, right? You were all no, no, I can't do this, I can't trust you, and then my father died, and all of a sudden you want me back. Because, what? I'm weak now? And that turns you on, right?"
Okay, wow. This is… wow. "Okay…" he tells her slowly, cautiously. "I think maybe we're a little… hormonal right now, and—"
"Oh, don't you even try that! This isn't some pregnancy thing. You shut me out, too. For weeks. I tried, I wanted to get back together, and you didn't. I wanted you around, and you wanted no part of it, unless I was cryin' or pukin' or offerin' sex. But now Violet is pregnant, and you want to go stay at her place and help her out? Who died, or does she just get that courtesy off the bat?"
She's fuming, and irrational, and Cooper just wants to calm her down so they can talk about this. "Charlotte… please… Take a breath and listen to me—"
"No—"
"Yes," he insists, reaching for her hand. She yanks it back, her elbow whacking into her glass and nearly toppling it. Cooper barrels ahead anyway, "It's not like that. I don't care just because your father died. I care because I love you. Your dad dying just put things in perspective for me, that's all. It was the first time we spent a significant amount of time together since I found out about the practice, and it… I realized how much I missed you, and loved you, and how much all this meant to me. Okay?"
She eyes him silently, clearly still burning with wounded fury, but not yelling at him again, thank God.
"And for the record, I wouldn't be with Violet all the time, just when I'm not here with you," he tries to explain. "And I really don't think it's fair to say—"
"Why does this fall to you? Where's the baby-daddy?"
Cooper looks at her for a second. He's already revealed one of Violet's secrets; he doesn't want to give up the other. She's not ready to tell them yet, and if it comes from Charlotte… let's just say, he's not in the mood to have both of the most important women in his life mad at him, and Charlotte's already seething, so…
But then she gets this look of horror on her face, her jaw dropping a little, and he catches the hint of a quiver in her chin before she says, "Oh, for the love of all that's holy, Cooper, it better not be you."
"No," he assures. "God, no. It's just…" He doesn't want her thinking it's him, doesn't want her thinking this is worse than it is, because its already a disaster, so he decides to tell her everything, and just hope Violet forgives him. "She doesn't know whether it's Sheldon or Pete. She was sleeping with both of them, and now she's pregnant, and she doesn't know which one's the father."
Charlotte scoffs, shakes her head, and slumps back a little in her chair. "And she called me a skank."
"Charlotte," he scolds, with a grimace.
"What?"
"She didn't mean that," he says, even though he's pretty sure Violet did.
"Actually, I'm pretty sure she did," Charlotte echoes his thoughts.
"Even if she did," Cooper tries to downplay, "it's beside the point. And, c'mon, like you've never slept with more than one guy at the same time. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if you've had more than one guy at the same time."
She tilts her head, crosses her arms, and he thinks maybe that was the wrong thing to say, before she lays into him with, "Oh, so now you think I'm a skank, too?"
"No. God, Charlotte, that's not what I'm saying." Why does she have to be so fucking frustrating all the time? "I'm just saying you and I don't really get to throw stones about people having multiple sexual partners. That's it. That's all I'm saying."
He knew this might not go over well, but he hadn't been expecting it to become this much of a fight. He figured she might complain a little, but he never expected her to be so… hurt. And she is, he can see it all over her.
In fact, her voice is almost shaking when she says to him, "That and that you want to go coddle poor, sensitive Violet because she's pregnant. She's capable enough of spreadin' her legs for two different guys and gettin' herself knocked up, but God forbid she have to deal with the consequences without someone holdin' her hand."
That's not what this is about, he's thinking, but she's tipping her chin up, her mouth a tight, hard line that doesn't do enough to hide the fact that she's wrecked over this. The very idea of him moving in with Violet is painful to her. And he doesn't want to hurt her, so he gives in.
"Okay, you know what? Forget I even brought it up."
"I wish I could," she says quietly, and his heart breaks a little for her. He really fucked this up. But he thinks he may know how to make it right…
"Look, if you want me to move in with you-"
She cuts him off before he can even get the offer out.
"This is not the time for that conversation, Cooper. In fact, this isn't the time for any conversation — get out."
Now he's the one blinking and stunned. "What?"
"How come every time I kick you out, you give me that dumbfounded look?" she asks, scraping her chair back and carrying her plate to the sink. Cooper stays in his seat.
"Because every time you kick me out, it's a little ridiculous, Charlotte."
She shakes her head, turns back to him and looks him in the eye, "Well, then get ready for some more ridiculous, because I'm about to say it again: Get out." She pauses for effect, then stalks her way back toward him as she speaks. "Don't go movin' in with Violet, but get outta my place. I don't want to talk to you anymore tonight.
Cooper can't believe it's come to this, again. He has a fleeting thought that they'll never be able to parent a kid together if she bails on every argument, but what he says is, "No, of course, because if you ever wanted to really talk about anything, you wouldn't be you."
She twists her face into a look of contempt and says, "Screw you, Cooper. If you hate me so much-"
"Don't," he cuts her off, standing then and getting in her face, because he's had about enough. He draws the line there, at her accusing him of hatred. "Don't do that. I don't hate you, and you know it. I love you."
"Well, you have a funny way of showin' it." Her voice wavers just a little, then, and he's suddenly very aware that she's fighting back tears as she pushes past him and reaches for the take-out containers on the table. The room is deathly silent for a minute, aside from the quiet scrape and pop of cardboard cartons being flipped shut, and Charlotte's footfalls as she carries what's left of them to the fridge.
This has gotten way out of hand.
He doesn't want the conversation to end like this, doesn't want to leave with her so upset with him, and him so irritated with her, so he tries again to smooth things over. "Can't we just go to separate corners for a while, and then sit down and talk this out? Can't we try, for once, to do that?"
"There's nothin' to talk out, Cooper," she says quietly, every word crisp and precise. This is the deep-freeze anger, he realizes. She's going cold, shutting him out. This is going to be one of those we-don't-speak-for-days fights. She looks at him then, raises her chin like she does when she wants him to know she means business. "You're not movin' in with her. Not if you want to be with me."
"Fine," he agrees. "I'm not moving in with Violet — I already said that I wouldn't. It was just an idea — a bad idea. Now, can we please talk-"
He reaches for her again, but she evades, yanking her arm out of his reach when he's only just barely touched it, heading for the sink. "No. Not tonight. Not right now. I can't even look at you anymore. Just leave."
She's got her back turned to him, but he hears her sniffle just a little before she yanks the tap on, and reaches for one of the dishes there. He knows when he's lost with her, so he sighs, shakes his head, and grabs his things without another word. He may not be moving in with Violet, but he's sure as hell headed there tonight.