A/N: I am SO sorry I didn't get this posted yesterday as hoped. Real life intervened—a good friend had an emergency come up yesterday, so that naturally took priority over finishing this chapter. So please don't throw tomatoes, okay? :)
Anyway, this chapter was definitely interesting and challenging to write. Hopefully it will clear up some questions of motivation from earlier in the fic as well as advance the plot in a significant way. We'll check in with the Perilous Lands crew in Ch 39, I promise! I've already got most of it written! :)
On with the fic!
Chapter 38: Hemlock
As Uther sat down to supper the following evening, his thoughts were dark. The past week had weighed heavier on his heart than any week since the death of his beloved Ygraine.
Will I never escape the evils of magic? he thought bitterly.
Listlessly, he watched as the servants laid the final trays of food on the table. First it stole her; now it's claimed our son.
He would never admit it to anyone-a king should not appear weak-but the past week had left him broken and empty, as if someone had hollowed out his heart. Why couldn't it have been just an enchantment? his heart cried. Without thinking, he slammed a fist on the table, setting the unfilled goblets rattling.
"Sire?" A timid serving boy looked at him with wide, worried eyes as he set the final tray on the table.
Uther shooed him away with a dismissive wave. There's nothing you can do, boy.
His thoughts replayed the events of the past eight days. After calming from his initial blind rage at the possibility of magic infiltrating his very court, Uther had hoped desperately that there had been some mistake and Arthur had been falsely accused. As the evidence against him mounted, he shifted to hoping Arthur was just enchanted, not actually a traitor to everything Uther stood for. But when he escaped, when he fled, well…
If it had been anyone else, he would have held that as incontrovertible proof. Why run from a fair trial and justice if you're innocent?
But this was Arthur. His Arthur, who had her eyes. When he smiled, it was her smile. His Arthur wouldn't do this to him, wouldn't betray him this way. He had held onto a thread of hope that Arthur would be found and brought home, where he might still be cured of the accursed enchantment.
But then Aredian had brought the report that Arthur's traveling companions were Druids who fought the king's men with magic. The last thread of hope had snapped and so had he. His own words replayed in his head, torturing him during his waking hours and haunting him in his dreams: Arthur Pendragon...traitor...guilty...consorting with sorcerers…dead or alive.
Uther heard the chamber doors creak open and looked up to see Lady Morgana enter.
At least I still have her, he thought as he rose to greet his ward.
She smiled brightly at him as they both sat down. Meals had been unbearable at first, but her presence had made them easier. He may have lost his son, but he still had his Morgana.
My Morgana. He smiled at her as they made small talk and began to eat.
A serving girl brought out a pitcher of wine and handed it to Morgana's maidservant to pour. Uther had never bothered to remember her name, he realized, as he was certain he'd heard it plenty of times, but he decided quickly that didn't really bother him.
The girl poured the wine into his cup, then turned to pour some into Morgana's.
"No, thank you, Gwen," Morgana smiled. "I'd rather just have some water, I think."
The maid-Gwen, apparently-placed the pitcher of wine on the table and turned to the serving girl who'd brought it.
"Please bring a pitcher of water for the Lady Morgana," Gwen said.
The serving girl curtseyed and hurried out of the chamber through the servants' door.
Morgana turned to Uther and remarked pleasantly, "I was thinking of going for a ride tomorrow morning, my lord. Would you care to join me?"
Uther smiled, then sighed. "I'm sorry, Morgana, but I'm afraid I can't. I've got a council meeting scheduled for the morning."
Morgana pouted slightly, "Oh, those meetings are so boring, and I feel as though we haven't spent any time together-just the two of us-recently."
Time together...the two of us. She had no idea the way that her words affected him. Now, more than ever, he craved her daughterly affection and loyalty. Suddenly that council meeting seemed a bit less urgent.
"And we could use some cheering up," Morgana smiled pleadingly. "Please?"
His resolve cracked. "Of course, Morgana. The council will just have to wait until I want to meet with them." He smiled. "I am the king, after all."
She smiled back at him. Her big green eyes so like her mother's and—
The return of the serving girl with a pitcher of water broke his train of thought. Morgana's maid Gwen poured her a goblet of the cold liquid and Morgana took a long, grateful swallow.
"I didn't realize how thirsty I was," she said cheerfully, setting the goblet back on the table.
She picked up her knife and fork and began to cut her meat on her plate as Uther reached for a cluster of grapes from the serving platter. Suddenly, she dropped her fork with a clatter against the pewter plate. Both Gwen and the serving girl jumped, startled by the noise.
"I'm sorry, my lord," Morgana said as she tried to pick up the utensil with trembling hands. "I'm suddenly feeling a bit-"
A choking cough prevented her from finishing her sentence. She heaved forward, trying to brace herself against the table as she struggled to draw a breath, but her hands were trembling and twitching too much. She collapsed on the table instead in a clatter of dishes, knocking her goblet over and spilling the water everywhere.
Uther leapt to his feet even as Gwen dropped the water pitcher with a clang and splash as she rushed to Morgana's side to help her.
"Guards!" Uther shouted, "Get Gaius immediately!"
His stomach clenched in fear. He knew poisoning when he saw it.
Everything was a blur after that. The refrain Not her; not my Morgana! pounded in his mind like a blacksmith's hammer. He wasn't sure when Gaius arrived. He wasn't sure if Morgana passed out before or after that. It felt like a split second and an eternity. He found himself standing over an unconscious Morgana in Gaius' chambers, unsure exactly how and when they'd carried her there. Gaius was speaking to him, but he realized he hadn't heard what was said.
"Hmm?" He managed to croak out. His throat was dry from anxiety. I can't lose her, too.
"Sire? I said that I've given her antidote-a tincture of charcoal. It appears she was suffering from hemlock poisoning-"
Uther interrupted him. "I can't lose her, Gaius. She is everything to me now."
Gaius nodded kindly. "I understand, my lord. As I was about to say-"
"No, you don't understand. No one knows."
"Sire?" Gaius raised a confused eyebrow.
"I've lost my wife, my son...I can't bear to lose my daughter, too."
"Yes, sire, I know she is like a daughter to you, after all these years," Gaius began, but Uther cut him off again.
"No, she is my daughter."
Gaius blinked at him.
"It was the spring after Ygraine-" Uther broke off, his voice choked with emotion. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Gorlois was away on a campaign...his wife Vivienne...grew lonely."
Uther sighed. Gaius had immediately regained his composure and waited silently for him to continue.
"She doesn't know-she can't know, not yet. With Arthur...gone, maybe I should...but not yet."
He raised his gaze from Morgana's pale, still face to meet Gaius' compassionate eyes. "But I can't lose her. I can't."
"Sire, she should make a full recovery. As I was saying, I administered the antidote in time. Her body is still recovering from the shock, though, so I doubt she'll wake again until morning."
Gaius placed a wrinkled, time-worn hand on the king's shoulder comfortingly.
"Perhaps you should get some sleep, sire. We've all been through quite an ordeal tonight."
A/N: So what did you think? How'd you feel about seeing things from Uther's perspective for a change? I do hope to have ch 39 finished and posted tomorrow…I've already got most of it written. :)
Replies to guest reviews:
Nance: You're welcome! I hope it lived up to your hopes/expectations!
Shanya Mahi: I'm so glad you've been enjoying this so far! Thanks for taking the time to review! :D There is definitely lots of Mergana still to come!