Robots, Avengers, and Dancing, Oh My!
Laura's POV
My vision swims in and out of focus as I wait for one of the robots to finish me off. Sure enough, I only have to wait a few seconds before a robot makes its way over to me, raises its hand, and… GETS ELECTROCUTED AND FALLS OVER?!
For a moment, I think Sam destroyed it, until I look up and see the Ultron-bot that crashed through the ceiling flying directly above me. As I watch, the flying robot sends another electrical charge at a nearby robot on the ground, causing that one to short-circuit as well.
At first, I'm really confused. Was one of the robots wired wrong and that's why it's destroying its fellow robots? Yet as the robot flies overhead again, I realize that it looks a bit different that the other robot minions. While there are some differences all over, the most noticeable difference is the head-piece. The other Ultron-bots have these sort of creepy glowing eyes like you would see on a jack-o-lantern, whereas this one has a sort of upside-down blue triangle around where a human's eyes would be, while the rest of its head is black and sort of helmet-shaped. Come to think of it, maybe that IS a helmet. I mean, Iron Man wears a robot armor, so maybe there is a person inside this armor as well?
Since I'm too exhausted to move, I just gaze at the being, who is using some sort of electrical thingie to short-circuit the robots all around me, and try to figure out if it's a human or a robot. I let my gaze travel from the head-piece to the body, which is mostly black but with some glowing blue sections in-between the metallic plates. There are also large blue circles on the person/robot's hands and feet like Iron Man's, which allow him to fly, as well as a glowing blue triangle on each hand above his knuckles that shoot electricity whenever he curls his hands into fists.
After looking at the being for a few, I decide that it must be a guy in a robot suit. It may look like an Ultron- bot on first glance, but it's really more like an Iron Man suit. I'm glad that whoever is in there is protecting me.
Come to think of it, I am starting to feel better. And by better, I mean that I might be able to stand up without fainting. I'm still nowhere near being able to fight. Magic powers? Forget it. Still, I could try standing up.
I slowly push myself into a sitting position, then struggle to stand up on wobbly limbs. Then a hand reaches out to me, and I grab on to it. For a moment, I think the robot-guy pulled me up, but then I realize it's…
"Captain America," I say, only it comes out in a whisper because I'm so exhausted. The Captain gives me a slight nod, then turns away to go fight robots.
As I struggle to remain standing, I see the other Avengers joining the fight as well. Hawkeye seems to have temporarily set aside his anger at his son, as the two of them are standing side-by-side and shooting exploding arrows at the robots. Bruce turns into the Hulk and lets out a battle cry, smashing any robots in his path the same way Green Girl is doing on the other side of the gym. Captain America and Thor leap across the gym to lend a hand to their children, and Iron Man joins the mystery robot guy in the air.
Since I have just fallen over again, I just sit there and enjoy the show. However, I can't help but feel a bit jealous as I watch everyone kick robot butt with their family, wishing my dad was a superhero as well.
Suddenly, I realize the Avengers aren't the only newcomers to the gym. A teenage girl with strange clothing strolls through the robot-shaped hole in the wall. A girl who looks surprisingly familiar… OH SHIT! It's Hysteria! Please tell me she's not stupid enough to help Ultron!
"Hey! It's my kidnap bff!" Hysteria says, noticing me. Then she winces. "Yikes! You look terrible!"
"Thanks a lot," I grumble. "And we're NOT bff's! You tried to kidnap me, remember?!" I yell. I am SO done with supervillains today!
Hysteria rolls her eyes. "Oh, come on, it was just a little kidnapping. I would have let you go eventually."
I decide that sentence doesn't deserve a response, and instead try to stand up again. Hysteria looks like she's about to say something, except just then, a robot decides to make Hysteria its next target, and starts shooting energy beams at her.
"Ugh, I hate these robots!" Hysteria exclaims, dodging the blasts.
"You do?" I ask, hoping that she'll elaborate. She seems to enjoy talking, so maybe if I can keep her talking, she'll spill her evil plans?
"Duh!" Hysteria exclaims. "I was just on my way to go rob people, minding my own business, when out of nowhere, an army of robots flies by overhead shouting about killing all humans! Now, normally, I just avoid other supers unless they get in my way, but then I was like, 'Wait a minute, I'M human!' So I figured I should stop this stupid robot, because I don't want to die."
"So… you're helping us?" I ask, hoping that's what she means.
Hysteria sighs loudly. "Yep, it looks like it. But only for this one fight. I don't do teams."
"Ok," I say, hoping that doesn't mean she's going to attack us after the fight.
"Hey, do you think I can switch bodies with a robot?" Hysteria asks suddenly.
"I don't know, can you?" I grumble, not in the mood to talk to her.
"No, silly! I'm asking you."
"I don't know," I repeat, really wishing I could walk away. I already felt kind of dizzy, and now, thanks to Hysteria, I'm getting a headache.
"I don't know either," Hysteria says, strangely excited. "On the one hand, trying to might kill me. On the other hand, it could be really awesome! Yeah! I'm going to do it! Because you don't know until you try!"
A green glow builds up around Hysteria's body, the way it did before she switched people's bodies during her kidnapping. I suddenly realize that I should have been paying more attention to what Hysteria was talking about. She isn't really trying to switch bodies with Ultron, is she?
A green blast lights up the room, and I have to blink a few times before I can see again. When I do, I hear a scream, and see Ultron with a panicky look on its face! Since evil robots don't usually scream and act panicky, I figure it must be Hysteria. While I don't particularly like her, I hope she's not dying or anything.
"AAAAAAAAAaoh… never mind. I got scared, because I wasn't breathing, but then I remembered robots don't need to breathe, so, like, yeah," Hysteria in Ultron's body babbles.
I shake my head at Hysteria's stupid behavior. At least she isn't trying to switch our bodies. Looking around, I see the Avengers and my teammates give Ultron-now-Hysteria a curious look, but they quickly get back to fighting the minion-bots that are trying to kill them.
I look back at Hysteria in Ultron's body, and see she's doing The Robot dance. "Check it out! I'm a robot dancing The Robot! Haha! The only thing more awesome would be if a convenient plot twist gave me some music to dance to."
Just then, as I look around the gym, I see a robot sneaking up behind Joe with its palm outstretched, ready to blow him to pieces! I scream, but he doesn't hear, try to teleport over to him, but don't have enough energy. Instead, I am forced to watch as Joe, my true love and the only guy I have ever dated… remains perfectly fine.
I breathe a shaky sigh of relief when the guy in the robot suit flies overhead and electrocutes the robot behind Joe. I'm glad that the robot guy was able to save both me and now Joe, but I feel guilty that I wasn't able to save Joe. After all, he is MY boyfriend. I should have been able to fight side-by-side with him, instead of sitting shakily on the floor.
As the robot sparks and falls to the ground, Joe seems to notice it for the first time. He spins around and shoots an arrow where he thought the robot's head would be, except the robot already fell over, so the arrow keeps going until it crashes into the DJ's music equipment. This causes the device to turn on and the song "Single Ladies" starts to play.
"YEAH! THIS IS MY JAM!" Hysteria in Ultron's body yells, then she starts dancing! I can't help laughing at how she called "Single Ladies" her "jam", and I laugh even harder at her "dancing." I have a feeling Hysteria isn't the best dancer anyways, and trying to dance like a teenage girl in Ultron's body makes her look like she's constantly about to fall over. Not that I'm one to talk, considering that my evening consisted of stepping on Joe's toes, bumping into his arm, and falling over.
Still, Hysteria seems like she could keep dancing for a while… until an Ultron-bot starts shooting at her! "Hey! You're messing up my groove!" Hysteria yells at it. The minion shoots at her again. "Seriously, stop!… or I'll make you."
Uh oh. If Hysteria can control the Ultron-bots, we could be in big trouble! Then again, the bots are already attacking us. What could she really do, make them attack us more?
It seems I'll get my answer soon enough, because all the robot-minions suddenly freeze… and then start dancing!
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" I hear Iron Man yell from halfway across the gym, earning him a sharp "LANGUAGE!" from Captain America.
I sit there laughing as the robots spin in wobbly circles, while Hysteria-in-Ultron's body continues her epic fail dancing. It makes me wonder what the real Ultron is thinking about all this. I look over at Ultron-in-Hysteria's body, who seems to have a new strategy, except this one isn't a strategy for taking over the world, it's a strategy for surviving embarrassment. Ultron's strategy seems to be: Maybe if I stand really still, people will forget I exist. I can't help laughing at how quickly The Age of Ultron turned into The Age of Embarrassing Ultron.
Unfortunately, the Avengers are not amused, especially Hawkeye, who uses the lull in the robots' attack to shoot as many exploding arrows as he can at them. "THAT'S FOR PIETRO!" he yells, as twenty robots fall one after the other.
"Hey! Rude much?" Hysteria exclaims. The Avengers look confused, causing Hysteria to face-palm. "Oh, duh! Where are my manners? I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Hysteria. I switched bodies with Ultron, in case you can't tell. That's my power, switching bodies. Well, the only power you need to know about," she says, laughing evilly. "Anyways—"
"WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?!" Hawkeye yells, clearly eager to get back to shooting robots.
"Not Ultron's, obviously," Hysteria says, sounding annoyed. "He wants to kill off all humans! How stupid do you think I am?"
"She didn't say our side," I hear Steve mutter.
"If you can make the robots dance, can you make them self-destruct?" Tony asks thoughtfully.
Hysteria looks thoughtful for a moment, maybe seeing what robot stuff she can do. Then she nods. "Yeah. But not until after this song. This is my jam!" she exclaims, starting to dance again.
"I have a better idea: DESTROY THEM NOW!" Hawkeye yells.
"Wait! I have to put this on YouTube!" Tony exclaims, raising his cellphone to take a video of the dancing robots.
Everyone just kind of stands there for a second, Hawkeye gritting his teeth, the Captain tapping his foot, as the robots continue dancing. Suddenly, there is a loud CRASH! Everyone turns to look at the Hulk, who has just smashed the DJ equipment, causing the music to stop. "DANCING BORING!" the Hulk proclaims. "HULK SMASH ROBOTS!"
"Ugg, fiiiine," Hysteria grumbles. She raises a hand, and all the robots twitch once then fall over, leaving a smoking pile of robots on the floor. "Well, that's that," she says, like it's no big deal. But it is. The semi-cheerful mood in the gym died along with the robots. After all, if Hysteria can kill hundreds of robots in Ultron's body, who knows what she could do in someone else's body, like the Hulk's?
Everyone just kind of stands there in shock for a few seconds. Then Hysteria starts laughing evilly. "Now that that's over with, I can move on to my REAL plan of hacking the entire internet! Yeah! I'll be able to buy myself a fortune with all the ransom money from people's secrets!"
Hysteria stands there, trying to hack the internet, until… "WHAT THE?! NO INTERNET ACCESS?! NOOOOO! IS THIS YOUR FAULT?!" she yells at Tony, stomping over to him. "Let me guess, Ultron started turning evil, so you were all like 'You're grounded! No internet access for you!' and Ultron was like 'But daaaaad!'"
"You'd do well not to threaten an Avenger!" Steve says, stepping in front of Hysteria angrily.
"And don't make me sound like a bad dad!" Tony says, equally as angry. "I had one of those, and… anyways, Vision took away Ultron's internet access, not me. Also, in case you haven't noticed, Ultron is a robot, not my actual son."
Hysteria shrugs. "Whatevs. Who's Vision?"
"Vision!" Tony yells.
"That doesn't answer my question," Hysteria scoffs, at the same time as Vision replies "Mr. Stark."
"I am sorry I could not arrive sooner," Vision continues, touching down gracefully onto the gym floor. "I was having dinner with Wanda and got a bit… distracted."
I have a feeling that if Vision's skin wasn't already bright red, he would be blushing. Maybe. Can robots blush?
"Oh joy, it's the robot that ruined my plans," Hysteria says, glaring at Vision. "Whatevs. I guess there's no reason to stay in this stupid body then," she grumbles, a green glow already building around her fingertips. There is a flash of green light, and then Hysteria is back in her own body, muttering about annoying robots.
Ultron also returns to its own body… and immediately gets dragged outside by Vision. The other Avengers head outside as well, leaving us teenagers to deal with a moody but currently non-violent Hysteria, and to think about the weirdness that was our Stark High Homecoming Dance.