Chapter 38

Much to Nate's dismay, we were serious.

It took some effort and cheating the government, but Jason is now Nate's official guardian. Which means he has a lot of power and authority over him.

Nate got his surgery – which he was actually really pissed about, even though now he won't die. I guess his fear of hospitals over took him.

We're going back home today. I'm helping Nate get his shirt on – he has this huge-ass scar on his stomach and has trouble getting dressed by himself. What is he? An old person?

Jason comes running into the room with his MacBook in hand, on a YouTube video. "You guys will never believe this!" he exclaims and plays the video.

The video is called, "Nate Jonas Puking Onstage."

Nate groans. "I don't want to watch it. I'll barf again."

But we watch it anyway.

It shows the clip of Nate barfing in slow-mo and I laugh so hard I nearly shit myself.

Nate hits me. "It's not funny."

I point to the screen. "In slow-mo, anything is funny!"

It's really gross because you can hear Nate gagging and barfing over the loudspeaker. I crack up laughing again.

"You're not a nice person!" he exclaims.

"Look, it's gotten like two million views," I say, amused by how popular Nate's near-death experience is on the internet.

Nate slams the laptop closed. "Really. It's not. That. Funny."

I scoff. "Can you not take a joke?"

"I can," he says. "Just not if it's aimed at me."

"Fine, fine. Whatever. I'll stop."

"Thank you."

I snicker a bit.

Nate hits me weakly.

"Careful," I mock, "you might rip your stitches out!"

He growls a bit. "Fucking dickface."

Suddenly, Mitchie comes running into the room. "Guys!" she exclaims. "You're on the cover!"

I turn to her and she tosses me a copy of People magazine. She was right. On the cover was a picture of all three of us from a photo shoot last year and it's a special double issue. Ooh!

Before I could even open the magazine, Nate already had ripped it out of my hands and tossed it into a nearby trashcan. "No read. Reading poisons your mind."

I frown at him. "Seriously?"

"I've only read one book my entire life and I've turned out fine. More than fine, actually, amazing. And I wouldn't be that way if I had read."

"Well," Mitchie butts in, "I've read plenty books in my lifetime and I turned out better than you."

"Uh huh, and who just got the cover of People magazine?" Nate shoots back.

"You only got the cover because you puked on stage. Even I could do that!"

"Yeah, well I barfed with more grace and beauty than your ever will-"

"Stop fighting!" I exclaim. "You people fight over the stupidest things!" I get the magazine out of the trashcan and hand it to Mitchie. "Take your magazine and hide it from Mr. Grouchypants here." I turn to Nate. "You go do something productive."

"Like what?" Nate asks.

I shrug. "What ever sick people do, I don't know."

"Oh so now you're racist against sick people. I see how it is."

"What? How is 'sick' suddenly a race?"

"Since you just made it one."

"Wha- That makes no sense!"

"Yes it does, you little racist!"

"Calling you sick is not racist, I don't know what you're smoking but-"

"Stop fighting!" Mitchie steps in.

Nate turns to Mitchie. "You know what Mitchie? You can take that magazine and shove it up your-"

"Easy there, children!" Jason exclaims.

"Oh, fuck you, Jason!" Nate fires back.

Jason gasps and the room gets silent. He pauses before saying, "That's it. You're grounded, mister."

"You're not the boss of me," Nate sneers.

"Oh yes I am," Jason says without skipping a beat. He pulls out a piece of paper from his pocket and opens it up. "Adoptions forms say I am."

"You can't be serious!" Nate wails.

Jason nods. "I am serious. As long as I am your guardian, you will treat me with more respect."

Nate growls. "Fucking bitch ass motherfucker…"

X X X

We went home. Nate is now grounded for a week. He's in the guest room right now and Jason took away his TV and laptop, leaving him with no source of entertainment except for – get this – a bible. A bible? Since when do we even have a bible?

Turns out Jason was serious about the whole grounding thing.

Jason, Kayla, Mitchie, and I are downstairs watching YouTube videos. We're currently watching Britney's new music video.

"Can I please come out of my room now?" We hear Nate say over the intercom.

Jason presses down the intercom button. "Thirty more minutes."

We hear a gasp. "Are you guys listening to 'Womanizer?' Please let me listen to it, too!"

"No can do," Jason says.

"Guys, this isn't fair!"

"My house, my rules!"

"Fuck you, Jason!"

"That's another hour added to your time."

"No! Jason! Please unlock my door!"

Yeah, Jason locked him in there, literally.

"Think about what you did first!"

"I already thought about it!"

"No you didn't!"

"Yes I did!"

"No you didn't!"

"I'm gonna kill myself if you don't let me out!"

"You wouldn't dare."

"Yes I would! I'm gonna jump out the window! I swear I'll do it, Jason!"

"Nate, if you kill yourself, you're grounded for another week!"

"I'm opening the window…"

"Nate…"

"I'm gonna jump!"

"No you're not," Jason says skeptically.

Suddenly, we hear a scream and I look out the window, only to see Nate falling down and hitting the porch, crashing into the patio furniture.

I quickly stand up. "Holy shit, he actually jumped!" I quickly run out the door to the backyard only to see Nate standing there, his eyes so wide you would have thought he had just seen a ghost. He was shaking a bit. "Nate…"

He stares at me and slowly walks inside. I go inside and Nate is still standing there, silently trembling.

"Nate? Are you okay?" I ask.

He slowly shakes his head.

"Are you hurt?"

He shakes his head.

Then he starts crying.

Jason, Mitchie, and I exchange glances.

Kayla gets up from her seat and hugs Nate. "It's okay, Nate. My mummy would always tell me that it's gonna be alright. Always."

They pull away from their hug and Nate stands there, sniffing.

Jason turns to him and talks with a baby voice. "Do you want another hug?" Nate shakes his head. "You want a new computer?" Nate shakes his head. "You want to go to McDonald's?" Nate nods, sniffing. "Okay, let's go to McDonald's."

Nate wipes away some tears and they both start walking to the car.

I turn to Kayla and Mitchie. "You want to go with them?"

They both nod, so we follow Jason and Nate to the garage. We all hop in the car and Jason drives us down the street to McDonald's.

A\n: I just found out the Jonas Brothers can't spell "Burning Up" right. Ha ha. Joe wrote "Burining Up." Silly boy, ha ha! I like the 25 rule, by the way. Review and save kitties!