Ever since Bolin broke down upon their exit from Fire Fountain City, Korra was nervous about returning to Zaofu. Every time he whimpered or yelped or cried out in his sleep she wondered if he would ever adapt to life after murder. Every time he woke in blind panic, his chest heaving and his heart skipping and drumming, she wondered if he'd ever be the same wise-cracking idiot he'd been before the explosion in Ba Sing Se ripped his life apart.
After Bolin woke from the collapse of the building in Republic City, Korra knew he had changed. The days immediately following were proof enough of that. But it wasn't until he fainted the first time that Korra worried he'd never recover completely, not from the malnourishment and the lethargy and the depression that caused it all. She never imagined at that point that he'd go farther downhill. But then he'd left for Zaofu, and though he'd spent a few days climbing out of his hole, the moment Korra returned with Asami and Opal he'd been cast back down and become more unstable than ever.
The night Bolin sat in Korra's guest room and threatened to jump off of the roof, Korra imagined he'd hit rock bottom. There was no way he could go lower than that. But then he found out about Mako. Then he threw Opal like a ragdoll and threatened the unspeakable. He liquefied Suyin's courtyard. He broke down and lost sleep and stopped eating and started hating himself all over again.
And now he'd killed people, and not just a few. As they flew into Earth Nation territory, Korra kept trying to count. There was the first in the alley, then three more in the courtyard, then another four or five as they'd run away. Then there had been a few before they'd fallen through the earth into the cavern. There'd been the handful in the hallway where he brought the ceiling down. There must have been ten or twelve there alone. Then there were the firebenders who'd met them when they'd emerged from the tunnel which meant another five or six, but Korra hadn't stuck around long enough to see who Bolin had killed and who he'd simply knocked out. She'd been so frightened during their flight that she'd lost count of how many firebenders they ran across, and even if she remembered them all it wouldn't take into consideration anyone who was caught by the flows of lava after the fact, those who were injured or killed indirectly. In all, there was no way for her to be sure. She'd been too caught up in running for her life to pay so much attention.
Every time Korra considered the numbers, she wanted to throw up. He could've killed thirty or more people in a matter of hours. It could've been more than that, too. It could very, very easily have been more. In fact, she would bet on it.
She wasn't surprised that Bolin didn't want to talk, and when she thought about it she wasn't surprised that he'd panicked about it, either. Bolin had never been violent or vengeful. He went out of his way to avoid hurting people if he could. But something in the collapse or the subsequent madness had changed him for the worse.
Oogi landed before she was ready, and Korra stayed seated in the sky bison basket even after Opal, Asami, and Mako disembarked. To Korra's dismay, she heard Su's voice down below, and that made her throat tighten up. How was she going to explain what had happened to Su? How would she explain the pathetic position Bolin was in now? A formal arrangement had never been made, but it didn't need to be said that Su expected Korra to be in charge of Bolin's well being, and she'd clearly not done a very good job.
He slept on her lap all quiet, his muscles slackened and his breathing soft and shallow, and he didn't even twitch when Su jumped into the basket. Korra kept her eyes low, kept her hands on Bolin's head and shoulders protectively until a noise came out of Su that sounded remarkably like crying and Su dropped down to her knees beside them. Korra didn't have to look up. She could see Su's pained expression as clear as day out of the corner of her eye.
On one hand, Korra was warmed by Su's maternal reaction. It had always struck Korra as tragic that Mako and Bolin didn't have anyone they could rely on as parental figures, people who could provide them with guidance and advice and a swift kick in the rear when needed, so the fact that Su had settled into the role of mother for Bolin was, in a way, endearing. At the same time, the reaction made Korra feel more guilty than she'd ever felt before. There was no covering up Bolin's injuries and no denying how horrible he looked. There was no way to explain away his paleness or the gentle shudders that passed from his head to his toes in regular, slow waves.
Su didn't say anything for a long time. She seemed content merely watching, and Korra wondered exactly why. Su hadn't said very much before they had left for Fire Fountain City, so there was no way for Korra to have known that Su expected Bolin not to return. When Su said, "I can't believe he came back," in a quivering, breathy voice, Korra startled to attention.
All at once, Su looked to Korra with watery eyes and smiled sadly. "Thank you," Su said quietly. "Thank you for making sure he came home."
Korra nodded. "He's hurt," she said. "He's hurt pretty badly. And he hasn't eaten in..." Korra shook her head and looked down at Bolin's sallow cheeks and dark eyes. Seeing him in the sunlight still made her want to cry even if most of the blood had been washed away by water or sweat or time. He still looked dirty. He still looked awful, like he'd die at any minute, and the shallowness in his breathing and the skipping in his pulse did little to prove it otherwise.
"Not in a while, by the look of it," Su finished for her. "How long?"
Korra shook her head again and squeezed Bolin's shoulder gently. "I don't know for sure. I haven't seen anything since we left Omashu. He might not have eaten anything there, either."
Su looked aghast. "You've been gone almost a week."
"He had some water," Korra said, lame but hopeful that it might make a difference.
For a few seconds, Su watched Korra as if waiting for an explanation. She looked like she was fishing for words but couldn't think of what to say, like she wanted to scold Korra but couldn't.
"He took the night watch," Korra explained quietly. She couldn't hold Su's gaze, so she didn't know whether this reasoning sat well with her. "He stayed up while we slept, and I think it was so that he could keep whatever he was doing private. I tried to stay up with him, but I couldn't. I fell asleep. And every time I yelled at him or tried to get him to eat he refused. What else could I do?"
Korra glanced sheepishly up to find Su shaking her head, her eyes closed. "Nothing, Korra," she said calmly. "There was nothing else you could do. I'm glad you tried, though."
To Korra's surprise, Su looked up with a gentle smile, then she patted Korra on the shoulder. Korra didn't know what to say.
"We'll have him taken in immediately," Su said, her voice firmer now that she was taking the position of authority. "My people will see to it that he's fed and healed and rehabilitated."
Korra seriously doubted that. How could they rehabilitate someone who'd just finished killing a veritable army of firebenders? How could they rehabilitate someone who gave into panic every time he looked at his own hands or saw his face reflected back at him? How could they rehabilitate someone who couldn't sleep for the awful nightmares?
Bolin had resisted every prior attempt at rehabilitation, even if it meant burning bridges and destroying relationships. He'd said all along that he meant to suffer alone, that he meant to keep his problems to himself, and through everything that had happened he'd done it. He'd done it despite everyone's genuine attempts to help him.
Korra wondered if he was too far gone to come back, if there was anything that anyone could do.
But Mako was back, and Mako was healthy, and if anyone could bring Bolin around, it would be him. He had seemed intent upon understanding everything that had happened while he was away, if the number of questions and the persistence with which he asked them was any indication. Korra imagined that all of them would be having a long, long conversation with Su, and she hoped that their talk might get everyone on the same page.
She also wondered if it might set everyone against each other again. It seemed to happen every time the lot of them sat down to discuss anything as a group. Bolin had acted so wildly different with each of them that it seemed there'd be no way to come to a consensus on the matter. And even among themselves there were conflicting feelings because all of them had seen the mood swings and the gentleness and the cynicism and the violence. They'd all seen the panic when Bolin realized he'd done something wrong and the regret after the fact.
Korra sighed. Either way, she would have to face the facts. She'd witnessed Bolin killing people, and she'd have to say something about it at some point.
She just wasn't sure how she'd do it.
When Korra looked up again, Su had retreated to the edge of Oogi's basket and had begun talking to someone down below. She couldn't hear what Su was saying, but it became apparent within a few minutes. A group of metal clan guards joined them in the basket along with a few unarmored people that Korra didn't recognize, and she understood that they were there to remove Bolin to whatever facility Su deemed appropriate.
"Su," Korra said quietly, and though she knew exactly what she wanted to say, when Su looked at her, the words caught in her throat. It wasn't until Su's face screwed up in concerned confusion that she managed to swallow deeply and say, "Put him in his room. I know he needs a healer. He probably needs a few of them. But put him in his room. He needs as much privacy as he can get."
Again, Su looked as though she wanted to ask something but couldn't think of the words. Korra could tell by the wrinkle in her brow and the pursing of her lips.
"I... We should talk about this later," Korra stammered, "when Mako and Asami and Opal are there, too. They need to hear it as much as you do."
"Is everything okay?"
Korra shook her head. "No," she said quietly. "It's not."
Su looked dumbfounded. "Korra?"
"When he wakes up, he's going to panic. I guarantee it. Just make sure he's in his room and make sure Opal, Asami, and Mako are far, far away. They'll only make it worse."
"What? Why?"
"I'll explain after dinner, when we're all together. Just promise me you'll keep him by himself."
Su nodded, and before she could say anything else Korra jumped from Oogi's basket and walked as quickly as she could away toward her room, her eyes on the ground the whole while. She had to think. She had to clear her head and she had to think about what she would say to explain the situation in a way that would convey its gravity. She had to think about what to say that wouldn't make Bolin seem like a heartless murderer.
It wouldn't be enough to merely say Bolin had killed someone and leave it at that. Mako had killed someone and Su had killed someone and Korra may have technically killed someone, she didn't know, but those scenarios had been different. Each of them had killed one person because it was the only choice they had. There was strategy involved. Bolin had killed dozens, and he'd done it indiscriminately.
When Korra got back to her room she collapsed onto her bed and pulled her pillow over her face. She felt that she might cry, but even as she lay there, nothing came out of her. At the same time she felt utterly empty, and try as she might to contemplate the conversation that would take place after, her mind was void of thought.
It was an hour before a guard came to retrieve Korra for dinner, and she walked to the dining room with her eyes on the ground. She didn't look up when she entered the room and she didn't look up when she sat down. When the food came, she kept sitting idly. She wasn't hungry.
Korra wasn't the only one who didn't eat and didn't talk. Asami sat with her chin on her hand, absently poking at her meal and taking only occasional, tiny bites. Opal had folded her hands in her lap and spent the entire meal staring down at them without touching her food at all. For her part, Suyin tried to act normally, but even her appetite seemed to have been dulled by the weird, dismal aura.
The only person who ate with any gusto was Mako, and it seemed that he didn't care what was going on or how anyone else felt about it as long as there was food to shove in his mouth. Korra couldn't blame him, either. If he'd been locked up and his captors hadn't fed him, it was only reasonable that he'd eat like a human trash compactor.
After Mako had demolished his plate, Opal's, and what remained of Asami's, he cast a suddenly very focused look on Su and said, "Okay, let's talk."
Su smiled placatingly and rose from her chair, and she invited Mako to follow her to her office for a thorough conversation. The strangest thing about the matter was that she excused the girls to go see to themselves, and Korra couldn't figure out why Su wouldn't want them to be there when she explained everything to Mako. Maybe it was so that he didn't feel overwhelmed. Maybe it was so that she could control what information he got and when he got it. Maybe it was to protect him.
Either way, Korra didn't argue. If nothing else, it afforded her some extra time to consider how she would explain what Bolin had done.
For a while, Korra lay on her bed feeling an odd gurgling in her stomach that couldn't have been hunger because it got worse whenever she thought about Bolin and how he'd spent the last few days doing little but sleeping on her lap and hugging her around the waist like a little boy. That pesky, adolescent attraction had come back again and was clouding her judgment, and Korra knew it. Somehow, this irrational thought had come into the back of her head that said it was more important to protect Bolin than it was to tell the others how he'd killed people. Objectively she knew otherwise. She had to tell because eventually everyone would find out anyway, and it would be better for everyone if they found out sooner rather than later.
Korra wondered for a while if she should go check in and see how Bolin was faring, whether the healers had discovered anything that might help him either physically or emotionally. But she shook her head at herself and scratched idly at her churning stomach. Now was a bad time. Now was an awful time, if she was honest with herself. To go in there now would only conflict her even more, and it would ruin any nerve she'd mustered to speak up because it was just as likely that spilling the truth would hurt Bolin as it would help him.
In the end, Korra fell back on old habits. Asami had always been the brains of the operation, and she'd seemed interested in Bolin's well being to boot. At least, she'd seemed interested before they set out for Fire Fountain City, before he'd hurt Opal and scared them all half to death. And she seemed to care about him after the fact, after he'd fallen into Oogi's basket all blood-soaked and panicked. She'd definitely cared then, because when he collapsed she thought he was going to die.
Korra knocked gently on Asami's door and stood for an awkward time before Asami opened it. She'd clearly just gotten back from a shower and must have been getting dressed; her hair was still soaked and a little unkempt, and as Korra entered the room she regretted more than ever that their relationship was on hold.
Asami sat on her own bed and started picking at her hair with a comb, and the same as she'd done the last time they'd spoken like this, Korra sat cross-legged on the floor. She didn't have the status to invite herself onto Asami's bed, not when Asami occupied it herself and certainly not when Asami looked so thoroughly harassed.
"I was hoping we could talk," Korra said sheepishly. She deflated even more when Asami shot her a skeptical glance.
"I figured as much when you knocked on my door."
Korra swallowed hard and fidgeted. She tugged at her pant legs and watched the wrinkles spread and smooth in turn. "It seems like every time I come talk to you like this, something awful happens."
Asami stopped working at her hair and shrugged. "Maybe that's because you only talk to me about awful things, and because something has to be done about it."
"Look," Korra snapped, "I'm trying to be delicate here and you're blowing me off. Now I need to talk to someone about what I saw on Baihe Island before I explode, and since Mako is busy with Su and Opal hates me and Bolin is... Well... He's in no position to talk to anyone... You're all I've got. Are you going to be civil or not?"
When Korra looked at Asami, the skepticism had gone. She looked mildly shocked now, her hands fallen limp into her lap, and as her expression shifted toward curiosity she got off the bed and sat on the ground, too, knee to knee with Korra the same as they had done last time. It was a gesture that Korra understood clearly: In these situations they weren't a couple who'd had a romantic spat and oscillated between love and hate every five minutes. In these situations, they were equals.
Korra sighed and looked at the floor. "I wanted to ask you what happened when we were separated. When we were attacked by the combustion bender and Bolin froze up and you grabbed him and ran away. Where did you guys go? What happened?"
It was Asami's turn to sigh, now, and she assumed much the same position as Korra. Her shoulders sagged and she tugged absently at the hem of her nightdress. She shook her head and sighed a second time, and Korra understood that Asami must have had as much on her mind as she did.
"Well obviously he panicked," Asami began slowly. "And he kept panicking for a while after I pushed him out of the way of the blast. I had every intention of staying to fight with you and Opal, but he grabbed me and dragged me away before I could do anything about it." She paused and rubbed at her arm. "He kind of hurt my wrist," she added with a shake of her head. "He gets a little reckless when he's scared, like he doesn't know his own strength."
"Yeah, I know."
"Well, he and I ran along the rooftops since the firebenders couldn't follow us. When he tossed us up there with his earthbending I landed on him and broke the plate in his shoulder brace, I guess, and it was hurting him pretty bad. And his side was hurting him pretty bad, too, but I didn't know about that at the time. I wasn't very nice to him about it."
Asami paused as if waiting for Korra to scold her, but Korra didn't say a word. She didn't want to jeopardize this conversation.
"So we got onto a balcony and dipped into one of the buildings. It was an apartment. We explored a little bit and found a stairwell that led into a bunch of tunnels below the city. You remember how he said he thought there was a tunnel, don't you?"
Korra nodded. "I remember. We got lost in there, too."
Asami jerked her head in understanding. "Well, we got down there and he had to rest a few times and I thought he was just worn out from panicking so much and because he hadn't eaten. I really didn't feel like taking it easy on him because he brought it all on himself. I guess I was a jerk, if I'm honest, and he was a jerk right back. But we wandered around for a while before he heard something or felt something and ran off. That's when he ditched his shoes. He was trying to feel things through the floor and couldn't focus on it."
"Oh."
"Well, that's when we found Opal. She came running at us and had a whole bunch of firebenders and combustion benders and lightning benders on her heels, and I don't know where they came from."
"They came from up above," Korra explained. "They ambushed us and separated us. They must have followed her down when I ran away."
"I guess that's probably it, then."
"I shouldn't have left her."
"I doubt there was anything you could've done otherwise. We couldn't take them on and there were three of us. Even with the Avatar State you'd have been hard pressed to push them back without hurting yourself in the process."
"You're right," Korra said sadly. "I tried to hold them off while I was by myself and I used the Avatar State. I was too tired to really do anything, though, and there were too many of them for me to fight back."
"Well, that's how it was for us, too, so don't feel bad, okay?"
Korra glanced up and offered a sheepish smile, and Asami returned it. It made Korra feel a little better.
"We ran. Had no idea where we were going, were all scared out of our minds. Bolin tried to slow them down, he lavabent at them and made a couple of barriers, but nothing really stuck." Asami sounded a little sick when she said that, and she paused and rubbed at her forehead. "We came across a bunch of bodies."
"What?"
The sick tone didn't leave, and as Asami pressed on, she went a little pale. "Yeah. There were a lot... Of bodies, I mean. They'd been dead a while, by the looks of it, but it was hot and cold and humid and dry in those tunnels without any real rhyme or reason, so the rate of decomposition could've been accelerated. I don't know." Asami swallowed hard. "We looked around for a few minutes, but were attacked again. We ran. I don't know exactly how it happened, but the next thing I knew nobody was running beside me, and when I turned around-"
Asami seemed to have choked on the words, and she stopped talking suddenly and completely. As Korra watched her shifting uncomfortably back and forth she noticed the slightest shuddering in her shoulders, a telltale sign that she was about to cry, and Asami began rubbing at her eyes. She was doing a poor job of covering the emotion up.
"What happened?" Korra asked gently, and without thinking she reached out and touched Asami's elbow in a loving gesture. "When you turned around, what happened?"
"Opal had fallen down," Asami said with a sniffle. She seemed to be working hard to keep her voice steady. She breathed deep and took her time with each sentence. "And Bolin turned around to help her. You saw, her arm was all banged up. You saw, right?"
"I saw."
"Well, he absolutely railed her. Knocked her out of the line of fire so hard that she pretty much flew down the hallway, but I understand why he did it. If he hadn't, she'd have been killed for sure. He wanted to get her out of there no matter what, even if it hurt her and even if it meant putting himself in danger." Asami shook her head, and her voice took on a noticeable wavering, but Korra couldn't tell if it was a frightened waver or a sad one. Asami never looked up from the ground, either, so Korra couldn't see her face twisting in fear and grief. "I guess Bolin wanted to stop the firebenders from advancing on us," she continued. "He planted himself in the middle of that tunnel like it was the very last thing he was going to do, like he did when he lavabent for the first time. He looked ready to die and I was scared because I remembered how before we left he kept talking about... About hurting... Killing... Himself... But he fought back. He... He crushed them. He knocked them down and then brought the floor up underneath them. It all happened in a few seconds, but..." She stopped. When she shook her head, Korra noticed how significantly pale Asami had become, how the tears had started trickling down her cheeks. "He crushed them all. There must've been fifteen people there all together, and he smashed them into jelly like it was nothing."
Korra gaped at her, watched as Asami dropped her head into her hands and breathed in a very slow, very controlled way. On one hand, Korra had expected the news. Bolin had been filthy when he'd found her on the surface, all covered with blood and flesh, and that he'd killed someone was the only explanation that made any sense. But Korra never could have guessed at the number. She could never have guessed how he'd killed them.
Either way, the body count rose, and Korra's stomach dropped again. She felt sick but couldn't force out any words.
"It was horrible," Asami continued thickly. "He made this horrible noise when he did it, too, like this horrible screaming noise that I've never heard come out of anybody before, and there was a combustion bender there, and just before he..." Asami shook her head, and it looked to Korra as though she was stifling a gag. "Right before he was crushed, he fired and knocked Bolin down. I thought for sure Bo was dead. I knew he was dead. He landed really hard on his shoulder and I thought he might've hit his head again. But he skidded ten or twelve feet down the hall and then he didn't move. He didn't move and he didn't make a noise and he was all pale and bloody. I could see it in the dark. I mean, I had my flashlight, but it was dark, still. I thought for sure he was dead. I didn't even notice where he'd landed, on the body, but then the smell hit me and I looked up and I knew-"
"On the body?" Korra gasped. "What?"
Asami shook her head and let go a quiet sob. "I don't know who it was. I didn't even think it was a person at first because it was so badly decomposed. There was just... Just... Fluid, and there were some bones there, but it was a lot of fluid and a lot of slimy stuff that must have been the fleshy bits that hadn't decayed yet. Bolin skidded right into it and it like... It kind of popped and the smell was horrible and it oozed and leaked and got all over him and he was just lying in it." Asami paused again, and this time she couldn't stifle the gagging. It took her a few seconds to recover, and when she did she breathed very deeply. "Bolin came around pretty quickly, all things considered, and then I looked up and I saw Mako right in front of us in this weird makeshift looking cell, and then everything happened too fast. Bolin was on his feet and he was yelling at us and he was yelling at Mako, and then he ripped the stone out of Mako's cell as easily as if he was ripping a piece of paper in half, and then he bolted. He said that someone had to help you. Then we were alone and Mako got us out. He was remarkably level headed considering the circumstances, but he was really confused and didn't believe that Bolin was Bolin until after we'd gotten out of the tunnels."
Korra nodded, and Asami fell silent except for occasional sniffling. Every few seconds she rubbed at her nose and her eyes with the backs of her wrists, and she never looked up.
With an enormous sigh, Korra said, "He killed them in front of me, too."
Asami snapped to attention. "What?"
Korra nodded. "Yeah," she said, and looked at the floor. "A sentry spotted me, and right when he signaled to the others that he'd found something, Bolin chucked a hunk of lava straight into him. It happened so fast that I didn't even know what it was at first. It just splattered all over the guy and started eating away at him and when he fell down, Bolin grabbed me and dragged me along."
It was Asami's turn to gape, now, and Korra didn't mind. It must have been, in some strange capacity, a relief for her in the same way that Asami's story had been a relief for Korra. There was some comfort in knowing they weren't alone in what they had witnessed, in knowing that Bolin hadn't changed his behavior for either of them. For the first time since he'd collapsed in the combustion bender's cell, they could both agree that something had gone horribly wrong in Bolin's head.
"Yeah, I know," Korra continued. She held Asami's gaze the whole time, watched as the tears kept coming and as she covered her mouth with her fingertips. "So there was that guy, that was the first that I saw. Then there were three we ran across-we were ambushed, really-but there were these three guys that he just shot up into the air. They must've gone twenty feet off the ground, just straight up, and when they landed I knew they were gone. One landed flat on his head. I mean... It was awful. There were so many."
Korra breathed deep and dropped her eyes to the floor. "So I froze up because I was... I didn't know what to do. I was afraid and I couldn't believe what I was seeing, so I froze up. Well, he knocked me out of the way of a few combustion benders who'd ganged up on us, and we fell through the floor into this weird cavern thing. It must've been the same way it was for you. He didn't wake up. Well, I was out, too, but I came around first and he was still gone. Must've landed on his shoulder because it came out. So I set it and you know, went through the motions we always go through when he faints-legs up and all-and eventually he woke up. We set off again, but he was weird. Weirder, anyway. He seemed super out of it and he sounded kind of funny, too, like he didn't know where he was or what he was doing and was faking it to make me feel better."
"Like he did on the bison?" Asami asked.
"Kind of," Korra said slowly. She hesitated to say it was exactly the same because it hadn't been. On the bison he'd been violently delirious. His denial of reality had been absolute, but in the tunnels it had been different. He'd been more understated about it all, on the whole, similar to how he'd been in the hospital. When he spoke it had sounded like his brain was lagging. His voice had that same dreamy, quiet quality that it had had back then. He'd been relatively in touch with reality, though, like he knew what was going on around him but didn't understand it. It was like he couldn't wrap his head around things.
"See," Korra continued, opting to forego the lengthy explanation, "that was when he started... Failing... I guess. I don't know a better word for it, but it was when his body started giving out. There was this lull in the action when things seemed to have calmed down, and the calmer he got the weaker he got. He fell down like, two or three times and then got mad at me when I was concerned."
"As he does," Asami said, a little flippantly.
"As he does," Korra agreed. There was no denying that truth. "But I told him eventually that I wasn't going to let him stay there and die. I knew that's what he was going for, especially after everything that happened in Republic City and in Zaofu. And he hadn't been eating anything and you know he wasn't sleeping. He was being stupidly reckless and putting himself into situations that could have really easily gotten him killed. Well, I called him on it, and after that he seemed to lighten up a little bit. He came back. Well, he did for a little bit, anyway. The second more firebenders showed up he went to town again. We were surrounded, so he threw lava behind us to close them off, and then a squad of about a dozen came out in front of us, and he pulled the ceiling straight down on them. Killed all but one, and after Bolin questioned him about how to get out of the tunnels, he covered him in lava. Buried the guy alive, burned him alive."
"And you watched all of this?"
"What else was I supposed to do?"
"Stop him?"
Korra shook her head. "There was no way I could have stopped him. Even if I hadn't been scared out of my mind, I was too tired to fight with him about it and he wasn't listening to a word I was saying. You said it yourself, he doesn't know his own strength when he gets scared like that. If I had tried to stand in his way, he might've attacked me, too."
Asami sighed in resignation. "You're not wrong."
"We got out of the tunnels and were attacked in a building. He laid two guys out flat, one punch each, and then he dropped a wall on some others. Once we were outside we headed to the east, and he threw lava everywhere. Anyone he saw he threw lava at, and even when he didn't see someone he threw it anyway. I'm pretty sure he liquefied every street and path we ran past. And then we were at the bison, and you know the rest."
"He killed the two who were chasing after you, too, at the very end," Asami added quietly. "So how many? In total, how many people did he kill?"
"I don't know," Korra said. "I was trying to count the whole way home. I put my estimate between thirty and forty, but that could be way off. That only counts what I saw. Add in the bunch you saw and it could be upward of fifty. Add in the people that neither of us saw, anyone who might've been caught off guard by the lava after we escaped, and it could go up still."
Asami put her forehead on her hands and turned her face to the floor. She looked sick, and when she spoke she sounded sick, too. "Fifty people."
"There's no way he's going to talk about it," Korra said, "and that has me worried. Su said she was going to try to rehabilitate him and I can only imagine that part of that is going to involve trying to make him talk to someone. There's no way he'll do it. He wouldn't even talk to me. I mean, he won't talk to anyone about even little things, things that aren't really consequential."
"He shouldn't have come with us," Asami said, her voice barely more than a whisper so that Korra had to focus very hard to hear her. "He never should have come along. If he'd stayed home, none of this would've happened."
Korra felt indignant for a moment she spent silently working to hold back. It was a ridiculous statement from Korra's perspective, but maybe Asami saw things differently. In Korra's opinion, if Bolin hadn't been there, they'd all have died. If he hadn't been there to blindly maneuver Opal and Asami through the tunnels, they never would have found Mako. If he'd not dispatched the two firebenders who'd chased her out of the city, Korra would probably be dead.
"I told him that," Asami admitted, "before we left. I told him that I didn't want him to come."
The anger went out of Korra and confusion took its place. "What?"
"When I was packing our things in Oogi's basket and you went off to find Pabu or get food or whatever it was, and you left Bolin there with me. I told him that I didn't want him to come with because I thought he'd be dangerous, and that the only reason we were letting him go was because you insisted on it. I told him that you thought it'd be cruel to leave him behind. I didn't know it at the time, but I think that hurt him. I think it set him back. I told him that I just wanted him to sit in a corner and shut up and keep his eyes off of all of us because I was afraid he'd follow through on his threats to hurt Opal. But then he came right back at me and said that once all of this was over I'd never have to see him again. It was a pretty clear threat against himself. I knew right then I'd messed up, but now that I look back on it, maybe I should've stood my ground."
Korra kept her look of disbelief low. She'd known all along that Asami had said something to Bolin before they'd set off, because the way he was acting before Korra left and the way he acted after she returned were like night and day. Now Korra understood that it must have been Asami's angry ranting that set his mind on dying.
"Part of me thinks I was right," Asami went on, apparently oblivious to Korra's mounting anger. But Asami also sounded thoroughly regretful, and that helped temper her. "Part of me still thinks he shouldn't have come along because it really did hurt things in the end."
"If Bolin hadn't come with us, it would've hurt things more. Either he'd be dead because he'd feel more worthless than he does right now and do something stupid, or you or Opal or I would be dead because he wasn't there to help. There's no nice way to say it, Asami, but none of us have the guts to do what Bolin did, and what he did was the only thing that kept us alive."
"There had to be another way," Asami protested. "He didn't have to kill them."
"He kind of did," Korra replied.
The two fell into a brittle quiet, and Korra realized at once that any chance at productivity they might've found in the conversation was spent. Korra supposed it was inevitable that they would come to a disagreement at some point: They always came to a disagreement. But at least the talk had been fruitful for a time.
"Mako doesn't know about it," Korra suggested. "At least, I know that I didn't say anything to him about it and I know that Su won't say anything to him about it because she doesn't know, either. Did Opal say anything?"
"No," Asami said with a shake of her head. "Opal hasn't really talked to anyone."
"I'd appreciate it if you could fill him in, then. He's got more right to know about it than any of us, and you're probably the best person to explain it."
Asami's face screwed up. "Why?"
Korra shrugged as she stood. "Because you didn't spend the whole trip home with Bolin's face on your lap." She sighed and patted her thighs as though brushing away some dust, and then she walked to the door. As she opened it, Korra paused and looked at the floor. "I'm too close. Mako won't think I'm being objective. That's just how he is."
Asami's head tilted ever slightly. She looked very confused, but at the same time as though she understood. "I get it," she said. "Where are you going?"
"Thanks for talking to me," Korra said. "I'll check in with you later."
The only thought in Korra's mind as she left Asami's room was that she wanted to stay far away from everyone else for a while. She didn't want to run the risk of saying something out of line or something that might get her or Bolin in any more trouble than he already was. Half the reason she'd gone to talk to Asami was so that Asami could be the messenger, because Asami was the most credible person to deliver this kind of news to everyone. Korra hadn't been kidding when she said she was too close.
It was weird how Korra had begun to understand these things. She'd spent so long going through the motions and being so caught up in everything that she couldn't take a step back to see what was really happening. For such a long time she'd been blindly reacting to the events around her rather than analyzing them and acting accordingly. There hadn't been any critical thinking at all. Everything she'd done since the collapse had been all emotion and no brain.
She wanted desperately to fix that, and she needed to be proactive.
Korra detoured from the path to her room without much contemplation, and she headed straight for Bolin's door. After all, it was her obligation to make sure he was doing all right, and as the only person that he would speak to, she needed to be there for him.
She wasn't surprised to find Bolin on the bed atop the covers, and she wasn't surprised to see Opal sitting on the floor beside it absently scratching Pabu between the ears, but she was surprised to find the room otherwise empty. Opal looked up when Korra opened the door but she didn't say anything. Pabu jumped from her hands and scurried under the bed. Bolin didn't move.
Seeing Opal made Korra's stomach churn. She'd come with every intention of talking to Bolin alone, but there would be no such conversation if Opal was there. Even if Korra felt comfortable broaching the topic of his killing spree with Opal in the room there was no way in eternity that Bolin would discuss it. She doubted he'd discuss it even if Opal wasn't there.
Korra closed the door quietly, and when her back was to Opal she took a deep breath and swallowed hard. Then she rounded again and offered a disarming, sweet smile that she hoped conveyed concern, fake as it might actually be.
"How are things?" Korra asked. When Opal shrugged and dropped her eyes back to the rug, Korra's smile faded. "Bad, then?"
"They sedated him," Opal said. It sounded like she'd been crying, but the tiny waver in her voice was the only evidence left. "He attacked the healers when he woke up and they put him out."
"They put him out?"
"Yeah. I don't know what they used, but it wasn't pretty."
Korra crossed the room and sat on the floor at Opal's shoulder, propped her back against the wall, and joined Opal in examining the rug. "Were you here for it?"
Opal nodded. "I've been here since we finished with dinner, not that it's done any good."
"What happened, then?" Korra asked. "I mean, if you don't mind me asking. What happened?"
"Oh, I don't know. There were two healers in here and they were messing around with his ribs and he woke up in the middle of it. They must've poked him the wrong way or something, because he yelped and bolted upright like he was being attacked or something. He panicked. Surprise."
Korra had never heard Opal so deadpan in her delivery before. Even with all the drama and the heartache, she'd managed to keep some degree of her indomitable optimism around her, even if it wasn't always genuine. Just like her mother, Opal always tried to maintain her front. Odd that she was letting it down now.
"He jumped up on the bed and lavabent at one of them. He missed, but you can see where it landed." Opal pointed across the room, and indeed a black hunk of obsidian rock had cooled and melded with the floor. "They had something on hand to take care of it, it was a needle or something like that. When I yelled at Bolin to stop it distracted him enough that the healers jammed it into his leg. It wasn't enough the first time around, so they did it a second time. He stood there for a second all quiet and surprised, and then he just dropped."
"Oh."
Korra felt fairly lame. What else was she supposed to say? She'd missed her opportunity to be of any help here, and Opal had clearly suffered as a result. Bolin had suffered, too, but Korra supposed that in the end he'd be suffering no matter what she did.
"He's been in and out," Opal said, "if you wanted to talk to him."
"He's talking?"
Opal shook her head sadly. "Not much. He just mumbled something a couple times but I couldn't tell what it was, and when I asked him questions and called his name he didn't respond at all. I think there's too much in his system for him to think straight."
Korra wondered if that was indeed the case, or if Bolin had waked to hear Opal calling him and clammed up as he'd been doing since their fight. Bolin had made no qualms about ignoring Opal before. If Asami's story was true, the only real interactions Bolin had had with Opal was knocking her away from the firebenders before they found Mako and snapping at her when she saw the bruise.
Two words. It had been two words in how long?
"I'm going to make a weird request," Korra said after a time in the quiet. She tried to match her tone to the depressing atmosphere, and she didn't look to see whether Opal had acknowledged the statement. "I talked with Asami tonight about what I saw, and she told me what you guys saw. I asked her if she'd explain everything to Mako when he's done with your mom. I think it would be a good idea if you were there, too."
"Why?"
"Because you can give just as much insight as Asami can, and I really think Mako is going to need the support. If Su is laying on the information as thick as she needs to be, then Asami hits him with the whole," Korra paused and swallowed hard again. "If Asami hits Mako with the whole killing people thing, he's going to need someone there to hold him up. He's going to have questions, you know how Mako is, and I really doubt Asami will be able to answer them all. I think it would be really helpful for you to be there, too."
"Why don't you do it?"
Korra shook her head with a sigh. She couldn't be as honest with Opal as she could be with Asami. She couldn't say that she had gotten too close to Bolin to provide an unbiased opinion of what he'd been doing and how he'd been acting. Deep in the back of her mind, Korra knew that Bolin's actions of late could be described with a battery of negative words and phrases: irrational, unhinged, angry, violent, depressed, combative, aggressive, reckless, suicidal. But Korra had also seen the other side of things. She'd seen him when his mind was fully engaged, when he thought hard about what he'd been doing and regretted it fully. She'd listened to him try to explain the jumble of thoughts and feelings that had made him so confused for such a long time, and whether it was empathy or love or some other weird thing, Korra had gone too soft on him to lay the truth out flat to anyone. She couldn't convince herself of the truth, let alone convincing Opal.
It was a dangerous prospect, Korra thought suddenly, letting Opal and Asami be the ones who gave Mako the details. They had both been ridiculously hard on Bolin, but he'd not opened up to them, either. He'd not presented them with the same vulnerability that he'd shown to Korra. Of course they wouldn't know about it. They'd never seen it. To Opal and Asami, Bolin was little more than a psychotic brain-damaged stranger walking around in Bolin's body.
"I was asked to stand guard for a while," Korra lied. "At least, I was asked to keep an eye on things until someone else can relieve me."
"Oh." Opal sounded downcast again. "I guess that makes sense, having the Avatar State and all. If he goes crazy you can get him under control again."
Korra grimaced. Opal had no idea how true and how complicated that statement was. Yes, Korra could control Bolin to an extent, but it wasn't through force. It had never been through force. Korra doubted very much that the Avatar State would have any impact on him at all if he was having one of his manic episodes. In fact, she imagined that if she presented him with the Avatar State, he'd laugh his cold, derisive laugh straight in her face. And he'd be right to do it, too.
There was no use in Korra suggesting she'd use any kind of force with Bolin anymore. She'd been too open with him and she'd admitted too much about her feelings for him to take her threats seriously. He knew exactly how she felt now. He knew she wouldn't hurt him. That bridge had been crossed the night she'd told him that he'd kissed her, and even though Korra's admission hadn't been particularly straightforward then, he'd been able to fill in the blanks. He'd proved that when he called her on it in the tunnels, when she said that he had to get out of Fire Fountain City alive because they had things to work out. He knew exactly what those things were, and he hadn't seemed happy about it.
But even without the threat of violence, Korra had managed to placate him even when he seemed unreachable. In fact, every time he lost control lately, it had been Korra who'd brought him back, whether by sitting with him or talking gently to him or yelling at him or touching him. Somehow she'd always managed to remind him that he wasn't some kind of wild animal and that no matter how much he thought he couldn't control himself, he could reign it back in with some help.
All Korra could hope for now was that he'd open up again. If she could get his take on the matter of Fire Fountain City, she could understand and convey his rationale to the others. She might be able to convince them that he wasn't a wild animal, too.
"When is Mako supposed to show up?" Opal asked, and the sound of her voice drew Korra from her thinking. "I mean, when is he going to talk to Asami?"
Korra shrugged. "Don't know. Sometime soon, I'd imagine. He's been with Su since dinner, you know that, and I can't imagine she's got too much to say."
"I suppose not."
All at once, Opal pushed herself to her feet and leaned heavily against the wall. For a second she regarded Korra with a look that was equal parts doubtful and suspicious and sad, and then she turned the same look on Bolin, even as he lay there unmoving. She touched his shoulder gently, lovingly, and when he didn't respond, she excused herself from the room.
For a while, Korra stayed sitting on the floor, fidgeting and listening to Pabu chittering quietly and waiting for something to happen. She hated how awkward she felt in the quiet, but she hated even more that she had expected anything but the quiet. Now she was sitting there, it seemed obvious that Bolin would be either asleep or otherwise indisposed. No matter what, he wouldn't have been in a position to have any kind of meaningful talk with her, and it may even have been a little cruel for Korra to have considered bringing up the topic so soon after the fact.
Again, she felt a keen sense of self-awareness. She'd entered the room with every intention of being hard and concise and objective. She'd entered the room meaning to get the facts straight from Bolin's mouth. But now she was here, now she had seen him laying all weak and exposed on the bed, all that resolve had given way to feelings.
Korra hated the feelings. She'd hated them for a long, long time, ever since she began understanding what they had been doing to her. The feelings had made her stop acting like herself, especially when Bolin was in the room, especially when he showed any kind of vulnerability at all. She felt like a stupid little girl with a stupid little crush who couldn't do the things she needed to do because the butterflies in her stomach had started eating away at her brain.
She hated what he was doing to her without ever meaning to, and she hated that she was allowing it to happen.
It didn't take long for the butterflies to consume the anger that had been bubbling in her gut, and when Korra recognized the change in herself, she stood to leave. But then she stopped, and she considered Bolin laying all prone on the bed, and she watched him curiously.
There'd been no outward change in him except that it looked like he was sleeping soundly. Then again, Korra could scarcely tell the difference between Bolin sleeping and Bolin unconscious anymore. He was still all pale and gaunt. There were still streaks of rust-colored filth here and there among the delicate creases in his skin. With his hands around his face, Korra could see more clearly than ever the dirt caked under his nails and a series of small scrapes and cuts that no doubt came from their fleeing.
The curiosity deepened. It seemed that the healers hadn't done much outside of knocking him out. The only thing that was obvious was the bandaging on his right arm, but that could just as easily have been what Korra had applied on their trip home.
She supposed it made sense. It hadn't been that long since they'd arrived. It might've taken the healers longer than Korra imagined to get Bolin settled in his bed again. They'd have had to do some kind of preliminary checking on him before they set about fixing the damages, at least to see what all needed fixing, and if Bolin had waked and attacked them in the midst of that preliminary checking, Korra figured they might take a break.
Just as Opal had done before she left, Korra touched Bolin's shoulder. It was hot. It was alarmingly hot, and when Korra pressed her wrist against his forehead, it was hot, too.
Suddenly it all made sense, the lethargy on the way home and the attacking of the healers and the need for sedation. It made sense that he wasn't under the blankets. He wasn't just wounded, he was sick. It explained everything from why he'd slept all the way home to whatever delirium had hit him after the fact.
Korra sat and dropped her chin onto her hand. She supposed she'd gotten what she wished for, if nothing else: A place where she wouldn't be bothered by anyone. Opal would keep the others away, if she was half as tentative about Bolin as she seemed to have been, and it wasn't likely that the healers would return until the fever broke.
Just as Opal said, Bolin drifted in and out, and sometimes he drifted farther than others. Once he woke and grumbled incoherently and didn't respond when Korra spoke to him. Once he woke and said something about steam buns. When Pabu jumped onto the bed and nestled beside Bolin's middle, he grumbled something about a pythonaconda.
In all, Korra was content to sit in the mostly-quiet because she didn't have to think and she didn't have to problem solve. She didn't have to worry about drama.
Su stopped in for a few minutes well after dark and she stayed just long enough to let Korra know that she'd finished speaking with Mako and that the conversation had been tense but productive. She explained to Korra what the healers had told her about Bolin, that he'd suffered three broken ribs and a mild infection from the wound on his arm, but that as long as he stayed in bed and rested the way he needed to that it would clear up on its own and wasn't much to worry about. Then she mentioned that everyone had retired back to their rooms and she patted Bolin on the arm, smiled comfortingly at Korra, and excused herself for the evening.
Korra wondered if they had all actually gone back to their rooms, or if Asami and Opal were sitting with Mako at this very moment explaining all of the horrible things Bolin had done that Su hadn't known about. That must have been the case, because otherwise Korra was certain that Mako would have stopped in the same way that Su had.
She couldn't have said what time it was when Bolin began stirring again, but it jolted her out of her thoughtless trance and spooked Pabu enough that he dove from the bed. It didn't take a genius or a healer to know he was having another nightmare: Korra had seen it enough times by now that she could spot it a mile off. This time was weird, though, because every time he'd suffered them on the return trip he'd writhed and squirmed and made pathetic noises until either Korra woke him up or he startled awake on his own. Now he only gave occasional, mildly uncontrolled twitches, and the only noises he made were tiny guttural sounds that came from his throat without any benefit of articulation.
Korra watched for a minute or two while she worked to decide if it was worth it to try and wake him. he needed to rest, it was true, but Korra wasn't certain if what he was doing right now really qualified. Besides, she'd promised him that she'd wake him up if he started freaking out, and she could see no reason why that promise would stop being valid just because they weren't on the sky bison anymore.
She started with a gentle shake on Bolin's arm, and though he twitched at the contact and grimaced at the pressure on his side, he didn't wake. It took two more similar but slightly more forceful shakes for him to open his eyes, and even when he seemed to have waked he still looked oddly out of touch. He glanced up at her the same way he'd done on the return trip, and once he'd recognized that it was Korra sitting there with him, he laid his head back down and closed his eyes again.
He said something that Korra didn't hear, so she leaned down over him and asked him to repeat himself.
"Lay down."
Korra didn't move. She sat there with her hand on his shoulder, still bent low, and tried to wrap her head around those two simple words. It was possible she could've misheard. He'd been quiet, the syllables had slurred together a bit.
"Lay down. Go to sleep."
It was certain now. He'd said what she thought he'd said, and that realization made her stomach swell. "I don't think that's a good idea," Korra said.
"Then get out."
Bolin's tone had been anything but angry. He sounded dreamy and tired, like he truly didn't care one way or another what Korra did, and she was certain that it was because of whatever tranquilizer the healers had given him. Still, she had two choices: Lay down or leave. She chose to lay down.
She situated herself with her front to his back and folded her arms beneath her head, and as she lay there listening to him trying to fall back to sleep, she wondered if staying was the correct choice, if he'd really need her to be there once he fell back asleep or if it would be just as well if she left him alone.
"How long did Opal stay?" Bolin asked, half-sleeping.
"Don't know. She left pretty much when I got here."
"I heard you talking."
The swelling in Korra's stomach stopped dead and the bottom dropped out. "You did?"
"I'm sorry," Bolin said dreamily. "I didn't mean to scare you. I didn't mean for any of this to happen."
"Hey," Korra cooed, "stop that."
"I'm not supposed to be here."
"Why do you keep saying that?"
"You know why."
He'd said the words so sadly that Korra didn't know how to react. She'd known all along how he'd felt about the matter of returning home, and she wondered genuinely if he'd ever have killed those people if he knew he'd eventually have to face the consequences.
She sighed, at a loss, and patted him on the arm from behind. "I'm glad you're here, though."
"I'm glad you're here."
Again, Korra wasn't sure she'd heard him right, but before she had the chance to adjust herself or clarify the matter, Bolin had tentatively grabbed her hand and pulled it around his middle. She lay there stunned by his boldness for a second, and then put her head back down. As long as he was holding her captive by the arm, there would be no leaving, and she wasn't entirely sure she had a problem with that. He was warm-almost uncomfortably so now-and the bed was cozy and the room was quiet and safe, and Korra knew from experience that there was no harm in sharing a bed for the night.
For a while she thought about what he'd said, that he was glad she was there, and she wondered if he'd been being honest or if the statement had been derived from the drugging or the fever or some combination of the two. He'd sounded tired and a little delirious, and even now it seemed that he'd fallen straight back to sleep. He'd let go her hand, and had curled his own back around his face the same way he'd done before Korra had waked him before.
She wondered if he'd remember their exchange in the morning.
Korra didn't know if she slept or if she didn't sleep, but she knew that she spent a long time somewhere in the strange twilight in between. Once in a while her mind sat firmly on the side of the tangible, feeling warmth and hearing Pabu rustling somewhere over by the window, listening to Bolin's calm breathing as he slept. Occasionally, when the thought occurred to her, she moved her hand to his chest and pressed it firmly down to feel for the skipping, but each time she did she found only a slow, steady beating and dropped her hand back to his stomach, relieved.
Sometimes she felt like she was dreaming, and sometimes she dreamed of reality, and sometimes she couldn't tell the difference between the two. One second she would be asleep, dreaming of snuggling close to Bolin's back and rubbing her thumb absently over his middle where her hand had fallen idle, feeling the subtle dips and rises in his body that once had been so defined. Then she would wake, and her thumb would still be absently brushing against him the same as it had been in her dream. The only difference was that when she dreamed, she didn't feel the same curious warmth in her middle that she felt when she was awake.
Eventually Bolin stirred and Korra woke again, except this time his movement didn't seem to be a shift for comfort, and it was only after he sighed and pressed her hand into his stomach that Korra realized he was touching her at all.
Korra couldn't help but be a little startled by how similar the touch had been to their night together in the hospital, how he'd had his hand on hers and made noises that Korra imagined she was never meant to hear. But this time he wasn't brain dead and he wasn't so grievously injured. His delirium wasn't as complete as it had been then.
"Bo?" Korra asked, "are you awake?"
She couldn't tell if what came out of him was more of a weird smug giggle or some kind of pleasant sigh, but it set her hair on end all over again.
"You shouldn't touch me like that."
Had he not been holding on to Korra's hand, she would have jumped. Had he not sounded so sleepy, she might've fallen straight off the bed. Instead, in a quivering, alarmed voice, Korra asked, "Touch you like what?"
"There."
Clearly he was still sleeping, or hadn't woken up enough to have an idea what he was talking about. Korra could tell that much from his voice alone, the detached dreamy tone that he'd had whenever he'd talked in his sleep. Either way, Korra couldn't make any sense of what he was saying, even when he threaded his fingers between hers and moved her hand around his middle. She understood the motion had significance, but she didn't understand what it was.
"That's how Opal would touch me," Bolin continued, an edge of smugness in his words, "when she wanted Bolin time."
Korra was suddenly very, very awake, and she didn't know if she should burst out laughing at the absurdity of what he'd said or yank her hand away from him and run for the hills. Both options seemed oddly overblown for how calm the situation was, even if it made her extraordinarily uncomfortable.
"I think you ought to wake up for a minute," Korra said with a noticeable effort toward keeping her voice even. "I don't think you..."
She stopped suddenly and with a finely restrained squeak when Bolin let go of her hand and moved his own back. There was nothing restrained about her alarmed jerk when she felt his fingers brushing the back of her leg.
"Okay," she said, more firmly now. "Time to wake up."
"She used to touch me like that," Bolin went on, apparently unfazed by Korra's anxiety, "and I used to touch her like this."
For a second Korra didn't know what to do. She understood at her very core that whatever was happening right now was wrong on many, many levels, but she'd also never been touched there in that way before, and it set a weird intense tingling from her knees to her navel. Still, it was wrong. It was inappropriate. Even if she enjoyed the touch, this wasn't the time and this wasn't the place-or maybe it was the place. Either way, she couldn't let it go on.
When Korra sat up and removed Bolin's hand from her leg, he rolled onto his back and eyed her with an expression that was equal parts smug and curious and confused. He looked half asleep, and now she was looking at him straight on for the first time since they'd landed, he looked truly sick and generally awful. There was no way he was lucid.
"What?" Bolin asked innocently. "What's wrong?"
"You're not awake," Korra replied firmly. "You're sick. You're asleep. You've got no idea what you're doing right now."
"Yes I do," he protested, and as he did his eyes dropped from her face. She watched him eyeing her all up and down, and then he rolled and reached over with his other hand and to plant it firmly in the small of her hip, and as he twisted he grimaced a bit.
Clearly he wasn't awake.
Very gently, Korra removed his hands from her and dropped them back down on his middle, and she sat fully upright with as serious a look of disapproval as she could muster. "What exactly are you going for, here?"
A very mischievous grin pulled at the corner of Bolin's mouth, and even with his eyes half-closed Korra could see the way he was still looking at her. "I'd say," he said quietly, "but it wouldn't be very gentlemanly of me."
"Yeah," Korra said skeptically, "that's what I thought you were going for, and I hate to remind you, but you're not interested. You told me that pretty clearly."
"I never said that."
"You definitely implied it. And besides that, you're drugged."
"So? It'll be more fun that way." Bolin reached out to touch Korra again, but she slapped his hand away.
"Stop." Korra's tone left zero room for argument, even for someone in Bolin's state of mind. She'd snapped the word, she'd made it an imperative, and she made very certain that the look on her face matched the order.
Bolin stopped, and he looked a little bit hurt and a lot more awake.
"Now, go back to sleep."
The way Bolin jammed his head back down onto his pillow reminded Korra of the way Rohan did when he was in trouble or throwing a tantrum. If nothing else, it reassured her that he'd not been thinking straight.
"You want the blanket?" Korra asked, gentler now.
"No."
"I'm going to go for a while," Korra continued, unfazed by Bolin's childish anger. "I'll come check on you again in the morning."
Bolin didn't respond even as Korra rose and made her way to the door, and while his icy response made her feel just slightly guilty, she recognized just how urgently she needed to be gone. Had she been any less awake, things could've ended very, very badly. Now they would just end in a very long, very cold shower.