Wild Is The Wind, Part 38
As Sue Ellen turned her car into the Southfork driveway, just like she had done so many times before, it felt like she was going home. Yet there was a nagging anxiety about it in the pit of her stomach. Southfork hadn't been her home for some time and according to J.R., it was no longer his home, either.
She still had difficulty believing that. Was it really possible for him to give up Southfork? Only time would tell. But before she could think about it further, she was jolted back to the present as she neared the house and saw Clayton and Miss Ellie on the patio. She had hoped to avoid Clayton after his confrontation with J.R. the night of the barbeque.
What a night that had been. All the latest dirty laundry she and J.R. shared had been aired out in front of the family, yet again, with Clayton ending up giving J.R. a split lip. He deserved it … he always did. But what really concerned her now was Clayton had to know she had allowed J.R. back into her life and he was bound to disapprove.
"This should be fun," she sarcastically muttered to herself as she steered into the parking area at the edge of the patio. That last thought about Clayton's disapproval hadn't helped her nerves at all.
When the car stopped, she turned off the engine then spotted the older couple approaching. She was about to find out just what Clayton thought, one way or the other, and it would be better to face it head on. So with that, she gripped the door handle and got out of the car. Besides, could facing Clayton be any worse than the combination of a tornado, Cally showing up at her house, and having J.R. back in both her life and her bed? That made her smile. No, Clayton wouldn't be a problem.
"Good morning, Clayton ... Miss Ellie," Sue Ellen warmly greeted the couple as they met near the end of the patio.
"Sue Ellen, you're just in time for some coffee," Miss Ellie said with smile. "Would you like to join us?"
"No thank you, Miss Ellie," Sue Ellen replied, returning the lady's smile. "I'm here to see if John Ross would like to spend the day with J.R. and me."
"I bet he would love that!" Miss Ellie happily mused then looked out over Sue Ellen's shoulder. "Where is J.R.?"
"He had some business in Braddock this morning and said he'd meet me here." Sue Ellen looked back behind her, down the driveway, suddenly wishing he was there at least for moral support. "I'm kinda surprised he's not here already."
"That was quite the news in this morning's paper about the two of you," Clayton finally said, the edgy tone of his voice clearly letting Sue Ellen know he was indeed unhappy about her current situation.
"What news?" Sue Ellen replied unknowingly, turning to face him directly as she mentally prepared for the confrontation she now knew was coming.
"There were just a few lines in the society section about you and J.R. having dinner last night at the Oil Barons Club," Ellie quickly said, trying to smooth over Clayton's comment, knowing her husband was gearing up for a fight. "That's all."
"I didn't even think to read the paper this morning ..." Sue Ellen remarked before Clayton interrupted her.
"You two couldn't even wait a day or two until after Cally was gone before you were out celebrating?" Clayton impatiently asked.
"Clayton, that's enough!" Ellie strongly intervened. "You have been on a slow boil since Cally left the ranch yesterday even though none of this is your concern!"
"The hell it isn't my concern!" He uncharacteristically snapped at his wife. "What goes on at this ranch is my concern, whether your son likes it or not!"
"No ... stop!" Sue Ellen shouted, verbally overpowering them as they both looked over at her surprising show of force. "Please don't do this," she pleaded once she had their attention. "Don't argue about us. Not now ... not ever again." After a moment, she attempted to explain herself. "J.R. and I have caused enough damage in the past, to ourselves and everyone around us. But it's got to stop ... now ... today." She looked up at Clayton. "Clayton, I know you don't approve ..."
"How can I approve, Sue Ellen?" He quickly asked, cutting her off as he tried to reason with her. "It's emotional suicide, you being with J.R. It always has been and it always will be!"
"I agree," Sue Ellen surprisingly concurred with him. "And I'm not stupid enough to have some fairy tale belief that he will be any different this time. But after a year of choking on nothing but rage and bitterness …"
"Because of J.R.!" He said, cutting her off again.
"Yes, because of J.R.!" Sue Ellen agreed again. "That's why we've got to put an end to it!" She sighed heavily and her words slowed, revealing just how mentally exhausted she was even as she tried again to explain herself. "The only way I know how to do that is to make peace with the one thing that has been causing me the most heartache ... J.R. Maybe it doesn't seem right or make sense to anyone but me. I certainly didn't want it in the papers. But this truce of ours just might be working."
Before she could explain further, Clayton tried to reason with her again. "But what about Cally? I know J.R. doesn't care about the girl but you, of all people ..."
"I, of all people, know just what Cally is going through," Sue Ellen quickly countered. She studied Clayton for a moment and met his disapproving glare with a resolute one of her own. "Cally and I actually spoke yesterday before she left town and we parted on peaceful terms, did you know that?"
Clayton was clearly surprised by the news but simply shook his head as he replied. "No."
"Then to answer your question … yes. I do care about Cally and what this has done to her. I told her so. And no, J.R. and I were not out last night celebrating that she was gone, although I will admit that going out so soon might have been a little thoughtless." She paused and her expression sharpened. "But I will not make excuses or apologize for it."
Even though he was impressed by the calm straightforwardness Sue Ellen now seemed to possess, Clayton continued to attempt to reason with her.
"Doesn't it even bother you that less that two weeks ago, J.R. was only minutes away from marrying Cally?"
"Of course, it bothers me," Sue Ellen honestly replied. "It also bothers me that if I hadn't interfered by getting her to tell him she was pregnant, he probably wouldn't have offered to marry her in the first place. But even though Cally is a sweet girl who should have never been mixed up with the likes of J.R. and I, she is also an adult and very capable of making up her mind. Which she did yesterday when she decided to leave this town with a great deal of courage and dignity in spite of everything. And believe it or not, J.R. does care what happens to her, too, and she will be well taken care of. You have my word on that."
"All right then, I'll give you that," Clayton stoically replied while still refusing to give up on trying to reason with her. "But I still think this will end up just like it always does ... a disaster for the both of you and anyone who stands in your way."
His words stung as an image of Nicholas flashed into Sue Ellen's mind. She knew all too well how much harm she and J.R. could do. Cally was just their latest victim. But before she could reply to Clayton, Ellie, who had been closely watching Sue Ellen, interjected her disagreement with her husband.
"No, Clayton," the older lady replied, carefully choosing her words, "I think this time is different. Isn't it, Sue Ellen?"
"Oh, there is a huge difference now, Miss Ellie," Sue Ellen replied, relieved that someone might actually be trying to understand her. "I'm with J.R. now because I want to be, not because I need to be. I don't need the title of being Mrs. J.R. Ewing anymore. I don't need his money. And I especially don't need the approval of my mother and my so-called friends from Dallas society just because I'm married to one of the richest, most powerful men in Texas." She looked back at Clayton. "All superficial, self-serving motives that caused harm to me and so many others. But not any more. Never again."
"That's what I've been trying to get at, Sue Ellen," Clayton sincerely offered, his anger dissolving. "You have so much to offer when J.R. is out of your life. Why not go out and find a man you can settle down with and really love and who will love you back?"
Sue Ellen couldn't help but smile ironically at his statement. "You mean, find a relationship like you have with Miss Ellie?"
"Yes!" He excitedly exclaimed, pleased he might actually be making some progress with her.
"What you two have is so very rare," Sue Ellen wistfully replied, taking a deep breath as she tried to control the flood of emotions she now seemed swamped in. "I don't think I'll ever have that, especially not with J.R. But what I do have with J.R. is an indescribable bond that for God knows what reason was electrified by a tornado that beat the hell out of us but also yanked us out of the destructive ruts we were mired in." Then an amazing thought occurred to her and she said it aloud. "And maybe even somehow healed us in the process."
She stopped and shrugged her shoulders, looking back into Clayton's eyes. Was it even possible to explain it to him? Or to herself? She had to try.
"I know it sounds crazy," she continued. "It has certainly felt crazy living it the past few days. But you've got to understand that I've chosen to have J.R. in my life to find some peace. Finally. And I truly believe we are starting to do just that. He's even meeting me halfway, which he would never do before. But even if it doesn't work out between the two of us, at least from now on John Ross will know that we not only love him unconditionally but that we are also capable of behaving like rational adults who can at least be in the same room together. So, for right now, the three of us are going to just enjoy this time together ... for however long it lasts ... with no more fears and doubts and anger from the past because I want our son to have some happy memories of his parents. He deserves that. And even if you don't agree with the way we're going about it, I hope you will at least not fight us anymore because we really are going to try and make this work."
Finally, Clayton was speechless and a silence fell between the three.
Miss Ellie felt a surge of pride at her former daughter-in-law's words. She had seen Sue Ellen change so much over the years, mostly in destructive ways as she watched her either desperately try to hang on to J.R. or flat out try to destroy him. Yet despite it all, Sue Ellen had obviously won. The simpering, alcoholic trophy-wife was gone and in her place stood a woman of hard-won maturity and determined purpose who was obviously now in complete control of her life, even a force to be reckoned with. And maybe ... just maybe ... her oldest son had finally met his match in the woman who had always been at his side but had finally found her true potential.
Without another thought, Ellie quickly closed the space between them and enveloped Sue Ellen in a powerful embrace, communicating her pride through the most honest way she knew how. And Sue Ellen instantly understood, having seen Miss Ellie grant the same kind of embrace on Pamela so many times. She had always so envied Pamela for it. But now it was her turn to experience this rare display of approval from the lady she greatly admired, it meant even more.
Ellie soon stepped back and cupped Sue Ellen's face in her hands. "Being a Ewing isn't always about blood. Jock defined the name and made it legendary in this town by sheer will and the strength of his character, regardless of the money and oil. And that's the same kind of character that now seems to have surfaced in you, Sue Ellen." She broke into a wide grin. "So, give that son of mine hell!"
Sue Ellen softly laughed in relief then tightly hugged Miss Ellie again as the sentences she spoke truly sank in. At that moment, it was as though some of the things she had always craved in her life had finally become hers ... a sense of belonging, a sense of family, and most importantly, the love and pride of a mother. Miss Ellie had surely been more of a mother than her own had ever attempted to be.
"Thank you, Miss Ellie," Sue Ellen softly whispered, her vision blurring with unshed tears. "You are truly an amazing woman."
Ellie was both touched and slightly embarrassed by such a grand title as she reassuringly patted Sue Ellen on the back before pulling back from her once again.
"Not at all," the older lady replied with a sweet grin. "Just someone who is proud of how far you've come. Because we both know just how hard that road has been for you up to this point, don't we?"
Sue Ellen simply nodded, her voice temporarily failing her.
"Don't ever let go of this new-found strength, Sue Ellen," Ellie continued. "Not for anyone."
Sue Ellen nodded again and feeling more tears start to sting, she quickly dabbed her thumbs in the corner of her eyes. Sensing the need for a change of subject to relieve the emotions swirling around them, she diverted her attention to John Ross.
"Now," Sue Ellen said almost as a sigh before she smiled again. "Where is that son of mine? Can't believe how much I miss him when he's not around."
"Well, he's been good as gold, as always," Ellie grinned. "He's down at the foaling barn, helping take care of Sage's new colt."
"He always has taken after his grandma with the way he loves horses, hasn't he?" Sue Ellen said with a wink.
"And his mother, too," Ellie beamed.
"Come to think of it, I have missed being around horses," Sue Ellen remarked almost to herself.
"Sounds like that son of mine needs to get you both back into ranch life as soon as possible," Ellie hinted, recalling J.R.'s plans to buy the ranch across the way from Southfork.
"Yes, well ... maybe," Sue Ellen hesitated. "But that's a whole different discussion."
"Well, when you have a place," Ellie assured her, "the colt will go to John Ross. I've already promised it to him."
"He must be thrilled!" Sue Ellen paused for a moment and looked at the older woman. "Thank you, again, Miss Ellie. For everything."
Sue Ellen then looked back at Clayton and reached over to place her hand over his arm.
"And thank you, Clayton. I understand your concern and value it, I truly do. I just hope you'll trust me with this, just one more time. Because one way or the other, this is going to settle things between J.R. and me once and for all."
"Well then … like Ellie said," he reluctantly replied then smiled, "give 'em hell, Sue Ellen."
Sue Ellen gave him a hug, which he returned without hesitation, before she turned and headed for the foaling barn.
As Clayton and Ellie watched her go, Ellie looked up at her husband as she threaded her arm through his, pulling up against him.
"Clayton, I know Sue Ellen has always been special to you," she gently remarked. "You've always felt an understandable need to look out for her. I have, too. But it's time we let her find her own way." Then she smiled. "And from the sound of it, she's doing just fine."
"I hope you're right, Ellie," Clayton confirmed, squeezing her hand. "She does seem awful determined. And God help your son if he screws it up this time."
"Exactly."