Twilight Saga characters

created and owned by Stephenie Meyer

And the characters and plotline of

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

created and owned by J.K. Rowling

Chapter 37: Every Rose has its Thorn

It was a very quiet walk along the corridor to the fireplace connected to the floo network to our house. We had stayed as late as we could, but even Hermione had read enough for tonight. Cedric headed off to Hufflepuff earlier, with a huge smile on his face that I wanted to rip off and throw it against the wall. Actually, it was probably best he left early as his thoughts were driving me insane. I wondered, would anyone notice if he just didn't show up tomorrow. The monster in me rejoiced with the thought.

But he was my friend, and he had come to recognize what I had – that Bella was a beautiful, amazing, good creature – someone worthy of our adoration. I couldn't fault him on this. And it wasn't like Mike Newton, who only wanted Bella as a conquest. Cedric truly cared for her, and perhaps that is what bothered me most of all.

Because, if things had been different, he would have been good for her. Better then me… Better then Jacob... But we were past that now.

But Bella had said "Yes" to him… And that bothered me most of all. I battled with the nagging voice of truth that pointed out that I had also said yes to another, out of my sheer stupidity and silence. This noble voice pointed out that Bella had only agreed to go to the dance, after I had broken our plans. It reminded me that we had already agreed that she would go with another anyway – Ron Weasley – who was just as enamoured with her as Cedric, and I had agreed to that.

She didn't seem to be doing much better. The furrow between her brow, the stiffness in her shoulders, the pout on her lip all told me she was still angry. For once I didn't find her fury endearing. Her solemn stance was very different from the flustered anger that reminded me a furious kitten, harmless in her rage. This anger was very dangerous. This anger was silent… and deadly. For she had the power to destroy me with one decision – to leave me forever.

When we arrived back at Venlaw, Alice was waiting by the fireplace. I could hear that Carlisle and Esme were standing off in the kitchen, not doing anything other then waiting.

"Hi Bella" she said cheerily, as we arrived

"Hi Alice" she replied – politely with no hint of warmth.

What's wrong, Edward… she seems so different.

I glared at her in response. I wasn't in the mood to discuss it.

I followed her up to the room. She didn't stomp or huff or do any of the normal Bella things when she was angry. I almost expected her to slam the door in my face, but she didn't do that either. I don't know what I would have done if she had. I was barely in control as it was – my own anger simmering under the surface.

I watched, out of the corner of my eye, as she gathered her bed things together and went to the bathroom to get ready. I heard the shower turn on, the water falling to the shower floor, and felt the heat of it… It stayed on for quite a while, longer then usual. Then after another lengthy stretch of time, she emerged in her sweats and a t-shirt and crawled into bed, saying nothing.

I followed suit, gathering my bed things and retreating to the bathroom. I decided a shower would be in order. Maybe it would help me relax and ease the anger that was still ever present. After 35 minutes, I felt a little better, dried off and put on my own pyjama pants and a shirt. Out of habit I lied down beside her. She was feigning sleep, but she was never good at that… and so we both lay there, on our separate sides of the bed, a fence of razor wire filled with all the anger and things that were better left unsaid between us.

And here was where our problem lay – not in the mistakes we had made or the anger we felt, but in the stand off that resulted when neither one of us was willing to give in to the other, or didn't know what to say to open the dialogue.

My family was strangely silent tonight. I had almost expected, when I saw Alice at the fireplace, I would have been subject to a deluge of criticism and advice, but there was nothing. I guess they thought this was something we had to work out for ourselves.

It wasn't like this was a big issue. It was one dance, er, ball – 4 hours on one night of our life, when we had already known that we would have to play our roll, do our part. I had accepted that Bella would go to the ball with another already. And she had no idea how Cedric felt. If she had, she wouldn't have led him on like that. She was kinder then that. I could have told her, I realized. I could have said something when I first suspected. Why hadn't I? There seemed to be no good reason to keep it from her, and yet I had.

I thought back to the exchange in the library. She could have said no. She had before. She had turned down Mike and Eric and Taylor easily enough. Why didn't she turn down Cedric? I knew why – I had made her angry… and there was probably a part of her that wanted to get back at me for that… and in her anger, maybe she wasn't thinking clearly. She couldn't tell him about our relationship… Was that what she had been about to say – that she was engaged?

I could feel the anger dissipating at I dwelled on the musings of my mind. It wasn't completely gone, but definitely more manageable. Enough to say something, I supposed. Enough to engage in a discussion that would likely be unpleasant. What should I say to start? What could I say? It was making the first move in chess – it could make or break the game… only this wasn't a game and she wasn't my opponent… and I didn't want to destroy her. I wanted to make her my queen.

"Why?" she asked, and I was surprised at the sound of her voice. It was firm, calm… there was no anger, though she had become much more accustomed to covering her underlying feelings since I'd first met her. I had caused that, I realized… she continued, "Why, Edward, are we playing this game… why did we decide to pretend we aren't together – to lie to everyone around us and ourselves?" her voice broke at the end, hinting at the deep emotion she was fighting to keep under control.

I marvelled at her question. She had a way of cutting straight to the heart of the matter. If we had never decided to pull off this deception, we wouldn't be in this mess. It was necessary though.

"Originally, it was part of my alibi – I was going to have a "girlfriend" to help me, but then things worked out so well with Cedric" I heard my own voice break at the name. Yes the anger was still there, though not as strong as before. I forced my voice under control before I went on, "then it was to keep you safe – away from the attention for Voldemort, so he couldn't use you to hurt me."

She was quiet for a moment. "Well, that was dumb." She finally said.

"How so?"

"Well, it is ridiculous to think that, by keeping our relationship a secret, that Voldemort will somehow be unable to hurt either one of us… If he hurts you, he hurts me… that is just the way it is, whether or not he knows what he is doing."

She had a point. Were we struggling through this façade for no reason at all? No, if Voldemort took Bella, he would have power over me to do things I didn't want to do. "It's more then that, Bella… if he threatened you, I would do anything to keep you safe. That would give him power over me… and over you too."

She was quiet for awhile. "Edward, why didn't you simply say, 'I'm sorry, Cho. I was actually thinking of someone else who would be interested in asking you.'?"

I didn't know. "Why didn't you tell Cedric you already had plans?" I countered.

"Because my plans had just recently fallen through," she snapped back angrily, her face flushed, her breathing elevated. She took a few deep breathes to calm herself before going on, "And I couldn't think of anything to say…. But how could you, Edward?" her anger flared again, "After what we went through at the beginning of the year – knowing how I felt about Cho – and how Harry feels about her? How could you agree to take her?" the last part came out more of a hiss then a question.

"I couldn't think of anything to say…" I said, helplessly. It was true. There in the hallway, I had been caught off guard. I wasn't used to being caught off guard. I almost always knew what was coming and what I would say in response before the question was even raised…

"And why do you think that is?"

"I guess… turning her down in front of all her friends – I thought it would be too hurtful… It didn't seem chivalrous."

"Hmmm" she said, her voice hard.

We lay there for a long time, silent, only the sound of her breathing piecing the quiet of the house.

"Bella" I finally broke the silence, "Do you still love me?" That was the heart of the matter for me. Anything else we could work through, if only I knew she still loved me.

"I'm thinking about it," she replied, her voice still hard, but I could detect a hint of softening.

"Why did you agree to go with Cedric?"

She sighed heavily, "I don't know Edward – he asked and I couldn't very well tell him the truth – that I was engaged… and I was so angry with you. And I couldn't tell him I had plans because I didn't, so I… I figured I might as well go… and…"

"And…"

There was another long pause – 53 seconds to be exact, before she spoke again.

"And, he reminds me so much of you, it would almost be like going with you." She said quietly.

And in that quiet admission, my anger dissipated. She wanted to be with me…

"I've made a mess of things" she went on, "I can see now that Cedric didn't just ask me as a friend… he has feelings for me, doesn't he?"

"Yes" I made the admission I had been holding back for the past few months.

"How long?"

"Almost from the beginning."

"I wish you had told me… If I had realized sooner, I would have been prepared for it… I would have said no." she continued quietly. She exhaled loudly, releasing the rest of the tension that had built up over the course of our fight and I knew it was over and I was forgiven.

"I'm sorry, Bella." I said simply. I really was. I didn't want to go to the Ball with Cho. I didn't want to go with Hermione either. I wanted to go with Bella. There was only Bella, none other had ever or would ever have my heart.

I felt her move beside me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her roll over to her side, facing me. Then slowly, she leaned over and pressed her lips to mine. It wasn't her usual frenzied passionate response to my advance, rather a slow, deliberate, serious yet tender expression of her love for me – a love I didn't deserve. I slipped my arm around her and held her tight, kissing her back… wanting more.

Sighing, she pulled away and lay her head on my chest. I could hear her blood racing and her uneven breathing, matching my own. It was bittersweet lying like this: The immense pleasure of her forgiveness, her love, her warmth and the feel of her body - And yet the pain of lying with her in my arms and wanting more.

"I'm sorry too." She replied.

There was more to say – much more. But it was enough. For tonight, at least we knew we still had each other. The rest, we could figure out tomorrow.