I Fell For My Brother's Bestfriend Chapter 34, an instant star fanfic

A/N: Okay, so here is the next chapter. It is full of so many different things, like drama and some Jommy moments. I hope everyone likes it and please leave comments. As always I do not own Instant Star or Broken by Lifehouse or Thank You for Breaking my Heart by Alexz Johnson.

Chapter 34

Dear Diary,

I never thought that I would say this, but I am so excited tonight is the final performance. I want this summer to be over already. With all the crap that has happened, I just want to go home and enjoy my life there. I want to sleep in my own bed, have movie marathons in the theater with Alice, and spend time with a certain blue eyed guy. I didn't think that I would miss him so much, but lately all I have thought about is getting back to him. After I finally told him all about the craziness, I haven't been able to get him off my mind. It doesn't help that he texts me almost every hour to check up on me. It is so sweet that he cares so much, but at the same time it kind of scares me. I know that Tommy likes me as more than a friend, and of course I have those feelings too, but I just don't know if I will ever be ready for another serious relationship after everything that has happened. I know Tommy would never do anything to hurt me like jackass did, but Tommy has hurt me in other ways that, in all honesty, hurt me worse than anything jackass ever did to me. I just think that being with Tommy would end in disaster and I don't think I could handle losing him. As of right now, our friendship is like the only thing holding me together. Yes, Alice helps too, but not like Tommy. I don't know how to explain it, but I don't want to jeopardize it, especially since our talk I have been able to stop cutting so much. I am done to only like a few times a week and those are only after really intense nightmares, both the jackass and eight years old variety. Other than those times, I have really started to heel in that sense. I still have my moments where I feel completely broken inside and all I want to do is curl up into a ball and cry, but those are starting to get less frequent. I hope that once I get back home, and to some normalcy, I can start to really heal and won't need to cut. Enough about that and on to tonight. I have been extra perfect since my kitchen duty started, which means I get to perform tonight! I am so excited. I know that the record deal probably won't happen, but all I really care about is that rush I get from performing. If the record deal happens, then that is just a bonus. No matter what happens, I am just excited that Tommy will be here to watch me and I get to perform. Here's hoping that everything goes smoothly.

XO Jude

(~~**~~)

"Jude stop fidgeting." Alice complains as she tries to fix my makeup.

"Alice, you do know that I am perfectly capable of putting on my own makeup, right?" I ask mockingly.

"Yes, but I do a better job. I also know that a certain someone will be here tonight, so I am helping you to impress." Alice replies smugly.

"I do not need to impress anyone." I state matter-of-factly.

"Whatever you say, but we both know that you are so in love with him." Alice mocks with a giggle.

"Okay, that is enough of this conversation. Are you done yet?" I ask anxiously.

"Fine, I am done." Alice replies as she applies the last of the mascara.

"Good. Now if you will excuse me, I need to go get some air to focus my mind." I state as I walk out of the dressing room.

"Jude, can I talk to you for a second?" The director asks as he stops me on my outside.

"Sure, what is it?" I ask curiously.

"We had to change the lineup a little bit and well you are going seventh now instead of last." The director explains with extreme caution.

"What? That is way too early in the lineup. Why did I get switched?" I ask, as I clench my fists at my side in an attempt to control my anger.

"Well, it was suggested by the judges that a different performer close the show." The director states, still being very cautious about what he is saying.

"Who exactly is this performer?" I ask as calmly as possible, my fists getting tighter.

"Chloe, Sam, and Lily." The director simply states.

"Oh, okay, well at least I am not first." I reply as sweetly as possible, but a hint of anger is evident in my voice.

"Only first years are subjected to the horror of first performer." The director states with a wiry chuckle trying to lighten the mood.

"Who is going first? I forgot." I question curiously.

"Annabell" The director states.

"Oh, well that should be a nice little opener. I guess I will just have to wow the judges and make them remember who I am." I reply with a smile before turning to leave.

(~~**~~)

"Tommy, please tell me you are here?" I ask into the phone. I had been outside trying to calm down from the lineup change for about half an hour now, but have failed miserably.

"Just getting out of my car. Everything okay? Something sounds off in your voice." Tommy asks concern dripping from his voice.

"I'll explain when you get here. Meet me at my cabin." I state before hanging up the phone.

"Jude" Tommy says as he enters the cabin five minutes later.

"Oh thank God." I state with a sigh as I fling myself into his arms for a giant hug. "I am so glad you are finally here. Today has not been going so well." I state with a hint of sadness in my voice.

"What happened?" Tommy asks pulling me out of the hug so he can look at me.

"They changed the lineup for the performance tonight. I am seventh. I was supposed to be last. Shit I worked my ass off to earn the last spot, but oh no, those little mindless minions had to manipulate their ways into stealing my spot. Seventh, ugh! There is no way those judges will remember me if I am seventh out of fifty. This is a nightmare. Everything I have been working for is just going down the drain thanks to one bustard. He isn't even here and he is still messing with me." I explain in a giant huff.

"Jude, breathe." Tommy states as he strokes my arms to calm me down. "I know that you have worked hard to earn your closing spot, but things don't always go to plan."

"But-" I start but Tommy cuts me off.

"Let me finish. I know this record deal is a big deal and that you have worked hard to get this far, but we both know that you don't do this for the record deal. We both know that you love music more than anything in the world and that performing is the best rush in the world. Who cares if you don't get the deal? That is their loss. What matters is that you go show those judges, and everyone else that you are the best there is and make them remember you. Trust me, if anyone can do that it is you." Tommy says reassuringly and the passion for what he is saying clearly shines through his eyes.

"This is why you are the best." I reply with a smile before being engulfed into a hug.

"I know." Tommy states as he kisses the top of my head. "Now it is time to go show everyone what Jude Harrison can do." Tommy says as he pulls me to standing position and we head back to the stage area.

We stroll back to the stage area, talking aimlessly, and just enjoying being in each other's company. As we get closer to the stage, someone runs into me causing me to fall flat on my ass.

"Watch where you're-" I start to rudely state, but stop short when I look at who knocked me down. "What the hell are you doing here?" I ask furiously as I get to my feet in a rush with some help from a clearly angry Tommy.

"I came to watch my friends perform, but it turns out one friend in particular has been kicked out thanks to you." Lance states smugly stepping a little closer to me.

"Back the hell off or I will wipe that smug little smile of yours off your face." Tommy threatens angrily as he steps in between Lance and me.

"Of course you are here. Don't you have better things to do than protect such a pathetic excuse for a person?" Lance asks bitterly, clearly upset to see Tommy with me.

Tommy mumbles a few words I can't understand before starting to lounge towards Lance.

"Tommy, he isn't worth it." I state bitterly as I pull on Tommy's arm.

"Always the one to back down from a challenge. I see you are still weak." Lance states with a smirk.

"I am not weak, nor do I back down from a challenge. I just know when something isn't worth my energy and right now that is you." I state matter-of-factly before turning to walk away from him.

"Pathetic" Lance states with a chuckle.

I tense up a little at the word, but continue walking away from him with Tommy right next to me.

"You should have let me punch him." Tommy states, the anger still clear in his voice.

"Trust me, I would have loved to see him fall on his ass, but I don't have the energy to deal with him right now. I need to focus on my performance." I state trying to hide the sadness and fear from my voice.

"I know, but he just really pisses me off." Tommy says bitterly.

"Thanks for stepping in back there. I don't think I could have handled seeing him if you weren't with me." I state trying to change the subject a little.

"Of course, that is what I am here for." Tommy says with a smile.

"Well, I better get backstage before the show starts. Wish me luck?" I ask with a hopeful smile.

"You don't need it." Tommy states pulling me into a hug. He kisses the top of my head for letting me go and heading to his seat.

(~~**~~)

"Welcome everyone to the final performance." The director says to the crowd causing an uproar of applause. "Tonight we have fifty performers all vying for a record deal from one of the top labels in the country. The three judges will rank the performers and decide who the best is and they will receive the deal of a lifetime. Now without forth ado, our first perform, Ms. Annabell." The director states gesturing towards Annabell as she steps out of the line of the performers on stage and the rest of us head backstage.

I head to my dressing room to prepare for my performance. I sit down on the couch and sigh extremely loud, letting out all the frustration that has been building up inside of me.

"Jude" Alice says with a knock on the door.

"Yes?" I ask, but Alice barges in without another word and pulls me from the couch towards the wings of the stage.

"Can you please tell me why this song sounds so familiar to me when I have never heard anything Annabell has ever written?" Alice questions curiously.

I listen closely to what Annabell is singing for little bit to figure out what Alice is talking about.

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain (in the pain), is there healing
In your name (in your name) I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be OK

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

I knew immediately after the chorus what song it was, but couldn't form any words until the song was getting close to ending. "That is my song." I state emotionlessly.

"I thought so, but why the hell is she claiming she wrote it?" Alice asks, anger growing in her voice.

"I…I don't…she stole…not that song…" I ramble out, still shocked from hearing my song. I turn and run back to my dressing room and slam the door behind me. I make sure to lock the door before crumbling to the ground and busting into tears.

"Jude" Alice says trying to open the door. "Jude, unlock the door. Talk to me." Alice states concernedly, as she tries to open the door a little more aggressively.

I ignore her, mainly because I don't really hear her. All I hear is the buzzing of my brain going back and forth between everything that has been rattling around in my brain the last few months.

After what feels like hours, but was more like ten minutes I come to my senses. I wipe the tears from face before standing up. I glance at myself in the mirror, but quickly turn away as I grab my phone.

I quickly text Tommy. 'Meet me at your car in five. Don't ask questions just meet me, please.'

I start wiping off the smeared makeup when my phone buzzes with a reply.

'I'll be there' Tommy replies.

I finish cleaning my face up and change into something more comfortable than my dress and sneak out to the parking lot.

"What is going on?" Tommy asks as he steps away from his leaning position on his car when he sees me approaching.

"I just need to get out of her. Please take me away from here." I explain.

"What happened? What about your performance? Aren't you next?" Tommy asks clearly concerned as he gets closer to me.

"Please take me away from here." I plead letting the sadness slide into my voice a little.

"Next up Ms. Jude Harrison everyone." The announcer says from the stage causing both Tommy and I to look back at the stage area.

I walk to the passenger side of the car and open the door and slide in quickly. Tommy follows quickly behind getting in the driver's seat.

"Jude Harrison" I hear the announcer say again before Tommy closes his door and starts the car.

"Are you sure?" Tommy asks concernedly. I nod in response and Tommy puts the car in drive and we leave the camp.

(~~**~~)

"Jude are you going to tell me what happened back there?" Tommy asks for like the one hundredth time since we left, but I ignore him as I stare blankly out the window.

Tommy finally pulls into a parking lot near a dock for the lake after we had been driving for about forty-five minutes. He turns the car off and I can almost hear the gears turning in his head as he tries to figure out what to say next.

"Please don't ask." I state, still not turning to look at him.

"Jude, I am really worried about you. Alice has texted me like fifty times since we left wondering where you are. You need to talk to me." Tommy says, a hint of begging clearly in his voice.

"I just needed to get away." I simply replied, trying hard to keep my emotions out of my voice and in check.

"Why? Was it seeing that jack ass? Did something happen backstage?" Tommy questions, trying to get me to answer him.

"Just drop it." I state as I open the door and get out the car.

I walk towards the water hoping the water will help calm me down. I can hear the crunching of Tommy walk over towards me, tuning out anything he might be saying, but the second I feel him close enough to me I finally lose it. The tears start flowing heavily from my eyes and I crumble to the ground, but Tommy catches me before I reach the ground.

"Jude, please talk to me." Tommy pleads, the concern in his voice growing with every word.

I don't say anything, just sob into Tommy's chest as he rocks me gently and runs his hand through my hair soothingly.

"My song" I finally state once I can breathe again

"What song? You left before you could sing." Tommy asks confused.

"She stole my song." I state.

"Who stole your song?" Tommy asks thoroughly confused.

"Annabell" I reply sadly.

"That girl who went first?" Tommy questions.

I simply nod as a reply. I can hear Tommy's heart start to beat faster, a clear sign that he was getting angry.

"Wasn't she the girl who sang our song earlier this summer?" Tommy questions, the anger evident in his voice.

"Yes" I state with a sigh.

"I can't believe she would steal another one of your songs. How did she even get her hands on it in the first place?" Tommy questions angrily.

"It doesn't matter. I could care less about how she got the song." I reply as I pull my knees up to my chest.

"It does matter. You need to tell the director and make sure she gets in trouble for stealing your songs." Tommy states before going off on a rant about personal property and artist's rights as he paces in front of me. I just sit there, rocking back and forth a little, not really listening to what he was saying.

After a few minutes of his rambling he abruptly stops talking and squats down in front of me. His eyes staring deep into mine before saying, "That song was really heart wrenching."

I turn away not being able to hold his gaze any longer. "I know" I mumble out.

"Look at me." Tommy states, but I refuse. He gently slides his fingers under my chin and turns my face to look at him. "Jude, that song, I know you and you write from the heart, so that has to mean you feel all of that." Tommy explains, the concern coming back to his voice.

"I don't want to talk about where the song came from. I just want to forget the fact that someone just stole the most personal song I have ever written and claimed it was theirs and sang it in front of a ton of people." I state with a pleading look.

"Fine" Tommy replies with a sigh. "How exactly do you want to forget?" Tommy asks, a hint of mischievousness in his voice.

"I don't know, but the water is really helping me relax. You help too, I guess." I mockingly state with a chuckle.

"Ouch Harrison, that stung a little." Tommy mocks back, causing me to laugh a little. "I am glad you find my pain amusing." Tommy states with a fake hurt tone.

"Your pain always amuses me." I state with a smirk and a chuckle.

"Oh no you didn't." Tommy states as he leans closer to me and starts tickling me.

"Stop" I breathe out between laughs, but Tommy refuses. "I'm sorry" I state after a while, tired of being tickled to death.

"You better be." Tommy says with a smirk as he finally stops tickling me, but his hands linger a little bit on my sides.

He had somehow managed to end up hovering over me in the process of tickling me, and was now staring deeply into my eyes. I feel my face flush, glad that it was too dark for him to notice, as I watch Tommy start leaning in closer to me. I close my eyes in anticipation of what surely was going to be a kiss, but I open them quickly when I realize Tommy had pulled away. I sit up completely stunned by the lack of action taken by Tommy, but inwardly I know it was probably for the best.

We sit in silence for a little bit before Tommy starts talking about random things. He asks about my upcoming school year, and my plans for the few weeks left I had of summer. I ask him the same questions to keep the conversation going, not wanting the situation to get awkward.

"So, any chance I can hear the song you planned on singing tonight?" Tommy asks admits the random questions causing me to instantly tense up from the reminder of earlier events.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have asked. We were doing so well, I am so stupid sometimes." Tommy states getting a little angry at himself.

"It is okay. I kind of expected you to ask." I reply with a small reassuring smile.

"So can I hear it?" Tommy asks curiously.

"Not here." I simply state.

"Okay" Tommy replies disappointedly.

"We should get back to camp. The show should be done and I am sure my parents are freaking out about why I didn't perform." I say as I stand up.

We head back to the car and once inside Tommy checks his phone. "Shit."

"What?"

"I have ten missed calls from Alice, five from your brother, and about twenty new text from both of them." Tommy explains as he starts to car.

"I probably should have told Alice I was leaving." I guiltily state.

I send Alice a quick text to explain my disappearance. 'Went for a drive with Tommy. I just couldn't take hearing that song being sung by someone else.'

She replies quickly. 'I understand. Your parents were freaking out wondering where you were. I told them you weren't feeling well and Tommy had taken you home early.'

I reply with a thank you and relay the message to Tommy.

"I guess I have to take you home then." Tommy states, a hint of mock disappointment in his voice.

"Yep, I hope all of my stuff fits in here." I reply taking a dig at Tommy's addiction to his viper.

"Don't make fun of the car." Tommy states pointedly.

"Whatever you say." I reply with a chuckle.

(~~**~~)

"Why in the world did you bring so much crap to summer camp?" Tommy questions frustrated as he shoves the last bag into his car.

"I'm a girl who never knows what she wants to wear until five minutes before she has to leave." I reply with a smile.

"Women" Tommy says with a sigh. "You ready to go?" Tommy asks, startling me out of my day dream.

"I need to do something first." I state as I head towards the stage area. "Can you turn on the sound system? It is right over there." I say pointing towards the sound box off to the side of the stage.

"Are you aloud to do this?" Tommy asks, a hint of fear in his voice.

"No one is here. Who is going to know?" I retort with a smirk. "Plus you wanted to hear my song."

"My own private show, how exciting." Tommy replies as he sits in the front row, waiting for me to start.

"So this song is called "Thank You for Breaking my Heart" and it took me a lot of time to get this song just right to portray the emotions I wanted it to. This song comes from my heart and I hope you enjoy it." I say with a smile before starting the song.

You never took my side, never let me shine, it was never the truth
Lies, lies
Let me believe that you'll never leave
I thought I had nothing to lose
Why, why
Now here I am, singing the blues

But I wanna thank you for letting me down
Cause I won't fall as hard the next time around
I know life isn't fair, and you told me to suffer the scars
But I wanna thank you for breaking my heart

I let you inside
I treated you kind
I wait for you every time and time
And I should've known I'd be better alone
But loving was new
I was blind, blind
Now here I am, singing the blues

If you hadn't left me hurting so bad
No, I'd never know how strong I am
I wouldn't be ready to meet somebody new:
A real man

I wanna thank you for breaking my heart

I finish the song and I hear Tommy clapping. I start to head towards him when I hear clapping coming from backstage. I turn to see one of the judges walking towards me.

"That was amazing. I sure wish you would have performed earlier." The judge, Mandy, says with a smile.

"Thank you, that is very kind of you to say." I reply sweetly with a small smile.

"Why exactly did you not perform? You clearly aren't sick like we were informed." Mandy questions curiously.

"I was sick, but I am better now." I reply as convincing as possible.

"I understand you not wanting to divulge the true reason for your absence. I know you don't have stage fright, that was very evident last summer, so whatever the reason it must have been a good one to give up the chance for a deal of a life time." Mandy states.

"Honestly, the deal isn't why I was going to perform early. I know the record deal is a major thing and I would be lying if I said I didn't want it, but just performing is enough for me. The music and what I can say through my songs is what I really care about." I explain with a smile.

"A true artist. I do wish you had performed. I would have given you my vote for the deal. Plus the girl who won doesn't seem like she is going to hack it." Mandy states with knowing smile.

"Who won?" Tommy asks as he joins us on stage.

"This girl named Annabell. The other judges were blown away with how powerful and deep her song was, but if I am being honest, she did not portray the emotions of that song accurately, almost like she didn't actually write it." Mandy explains.

"Annabell is a sweet girl and she can sing, but I having a feeling she isn't cut out to be the type of artist your label is used to." I reply trying to hide my disgust about Annabell winning.

"Only time will tell, but we do want to record that song of hers right away. The other judges think it will make a great single for drawing people into her and make them want more." Mandy states taking a brief pause before continuing. "That is actually why I stuck around trying to find you. If we are going to record the song, we need to rights to it."

"It is her song, so there shouldn't be any rights problem." I say but I know I fail at being convincing.

"Ms. Harrison, I know that song is yours. Your friend, Alice I believe was her name, decided to inform everyone of this information during her designated performance time instead of performing herself. The other judges do not believe her, but I have been in this industry long enough to know when someone is singing a song they wrote and when they are singing someone else's words. So back to what I was saying before, we need the rights to record." Mandy explains, emphasizing the last sentence to make sure her point came across clearly.

"I can't give you the rights. That song was never meant to be heard by anyone. It is a very personal song and was only meant to get out emotions. I am sorry but if she records that song I will have to take legal action." I state confidently.

"Good, I am glad to hear that. I do wish you had performed so you would be the one signed to my label and not a thief. I wish you luck in you next endeavor and hope to see you next summer, and that you actually perform." Mandy replies with a smile before leaving.

"Wow, I can't believe that just happened. Good job on standing up for your rights to the song." Tommy says pulling me into a hug.

"I can't believe Alice gave up her performance time to stand up for me. She had been working so hard on the song she was going to perform. I really thought she could get the deal, even if I had performed. She is the best friend ever." I ramble out trying to process what my best friend had done for me.

"She really does care a hell lot about you." Tommy states knowingly.

"I don't know if I can ever repay her for what she did." I reply still dumbfounded by the information.

"You will figure something out. We should really start heading out." Tommy says as he directs me towards the car. "That was a very beautiful song by the way." Tommy says once we are in the car.

"Thanks, I'm really glad you liked. And before you ask, because I know you will, yes the song is about what happened with jackass and yes it is also partly about you." I explain very matter-of-factly trying to hide any emotion from showing.

"Good to know." Tommy simply states as we pull out of the camp's parking lot and start heading home.

I can tell that the song had confused him a little by his short response to my explanation. I stared out the window most of the way home thinking about if Tommy would realize what the song was really about.