As promised, I wrote up the next chapter while I was on base this weekend.

As you can probably tell, this chapter is pretty short compared to some of the other ones. It is literally half the length of chapter thirty seven. It's not intentional, but this was what I had in the outline.

Though what I can say is that this chapter is NOT a filler. So keep that in mind if you're feeling disappointed. Besides, I have a few days where I'm not going to be on base as much, so the next chapter might just be online sooner than you think. And I think you all know that always depends on the amount of feedback I get on the previous chapter, you know, before I can write the next one. I'm not being The Review Police, just telling you the truth.

Hope you guys enjoy!

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Hate That I Love You

There were two specific treatments that every high schooler dreaded. The first was to be invisible; to have to look to the floor when walking the halls while knowing that no one in that entire building cared. The second was to have everyone look at you, judging and hating your every quality; most people wishing you would stumble and fall with every step you took.

And right this second, Haley wished that her life had consisted of the former treatment. If only she could be invisible; if only no one cared for her; that way they wouldn't all look at her with so much hate in their eyes. And it sure did feel like it was everyone.

Haley clutched her books to her chest and looked to the floor. She needed this day to be over; she couldn't take it anymore. With every person she past, and every look she got she felt that sting in her heart and those tears threatening to cover her eyes. Her throat had been sore all day from holding in the tears.

What would the high school administration do to her if she just bolted out the door now? Just an unexcused absence. Would they call her parents? Would it matter?

Haley forced herself to walk past the door. She had to endure one more class until she could leave. One more class, but one thousand more judgmental stares in her direction.

And she feared that this was only the beginning of what would become her worst year in high school.

The staff room had actually grown on him since the first time he had stepped foot in it. And he rather enjoyed speaking to Jake and Peyton as well.

Though nothing could have prepared him for what he was about to hear in the staff room that today.

"The whole student body is in chaos," Peyton said as she came in and sat down next to Jake and across Nathan.

"And why would that be?" Jake asked, Nathan looking up at the curly blonde.

"Some super-couple broke up," Peyton explained. "Actually one of your former students," she turned to Jake. "One of your favorites, actually."

"And who would that be?" Nathan asked, looking between the two. Not that he cared much for school gossip, but if Peyton was bringing it up then it might have some substance. Though he doubted it.

"Haley James and Chris Keller," Peyton said, taking a peanut from the open bag in-front of Jake. "Come to think about it, didn't you bring them up and asked us why they were dating a few weeks back?" she looked towards Nathan who was sitting there in complete disbelief. Haley and Chris what?

Judging by Nathan's expression, he wasn't going to reply to Peyton's queston. "I would say that's good because she's too good for him," Peyton continued, "but the word that's going around is that she cheated on him."

"Excuse me, what?" Nathan asked, straightening up in his chair. "What did she do?"

"She cheated on him," Peyton repeated. "Apparently, she's just as low as he is. Maybe even worse."

"No," Nathan shook his head. "She's not the type."

Calm down, Nathan, he told himself. You're being see-through here! But he didn't know how to hide the outrage in his eyes.

"Everyone's been talking about it. They broke up during their lunch break," Peyton told him. "You should hear what some of these students are saying about her. I'd feel bad for her if it wasn't for what she's done."

Being home alone could not be good for her after the day she just had. Haley wanted to cry into someone's arms. And right now that person was her best friend.

She thought she could hold in her tears, but the second she saw him she broke down. Luckily, this was the one day of the week where the café was closed so there were no customers present to witness her dramatic entrance.

He had her sitting down with a cup of hot chocolate in a matter of minutes.

"Surely you didn't expect everyone to be friends with you after cheating on their celebrity," Lucas said when she completed her story.

Haley shook her head. "I knew it was going to be bad. But I didn't know it was going to be like this. You should see them, Luke, the way they look at me. They don't even have the decency to pretend not to look. I don't know how I'm going to get through this school year."

"I don't know how many more days like this you're going to have," Lucas told her honestly. "But it might get better."

"And it might not," Haley looked up at him, her voice cracking mid-sentence. "Maybe I should transfer schools."

"Don't be ridiculous-" Lucas started but couldn't complete his sentence.

"I mean how could I be so stupid?" Haley shook her head frustratedly, new tears falling down her cheeks. "And you should have seen him, Lucas. You should have seen the way he looked at me. He was begging me to just say 'no'. And I couldn't even speak. I couldn't say a word. And that look in his eyes afterwards. He wasn't even mad, he was just… he was so hurt. I deserve this. I deserve everyone hating me."

"No one hates you," Lucas put his hand on Haley's shoulder, she shaking her head.

"They all do," Haley bit her bottom lip as the tears continued to fall.

Haley's cell phone vibrated in her pocket and she reached to it instinctively. "It's Nathan," she said, taking a breath before opening up the text message. "He wants to talk."

She didn't know why she went to his house again. The second he texted her about needing to talk, she seemed to always just show up.

Though she knew that due to the secret status of their relationship they couldn't really talk anywhere else. And she really didn't want to do it over the phone. There was something about fighting in person that was so much more appealing to her at this point in her life. Maybe she just needed someone to yell at her, if Chris was unwilling to do it, Nathan would surely step in.

When he opened the door and saw her, Haley saw his eyes were filled with maniac outrage. This wasn't going to be just any fight.

"You wanted to-"

"Who the hell gave you permission to break up with him?" Nathan yelled loudly, not waiting for Haley to complete her sentence or even enter his apartment.

"Can we take this inside?" she requested, not wanting the neighbors to begin to leave their homes to see what was going on. She pushed past him and began walking deeper into his house.

Nathan slammed the door shut and followed her. "And you CHEATED on him? Could you be any more stupid? People are going to start looking for the guy you cheated with!"

"And, obviously, the first place they're going to look is at the faculty, right? Because without Chris as a decoy, you're the most obvious choice," she shook her head, the anger building inside of her. Who gave her permission to break up with Chris? What was she to him? Some puppet he could control?

"You're mental! We had a plan! We said you were going to date him and then you dare to break up with him?"

"He broke up with me!" she screamed back at him, feeling her throat go sore. "Did he need permission from you to do that? Or is it just me you're controlling?" At this point she knew that even though she needed so desperately for Chris to yell at her, Nathan had no right to take his place.

"You provoked him!" Nathan said knowingly. The guy was practically in-love with her; the way Chris kissed her, and held her hand; and the way he showed her off, especially. She wasn't just any girl, she was his girl. Though in reality, she wasn't. "Just tell me Haley, what goes through that empty teenage head of yours to just destroy everything we worked for? Can you answer that?"

She hated his condescending tone. She hated the way he looked at her right now. She would never be enough. "How about throwing up whenever I kissed him? I spent hours in my bathroom throwing up whenever he kissed me for just a little too long. Then going to my boyfriend and having him tell me that it's all in my 'little stupid teenage head'. Because I couldn't possibly understand the importance of this fake relationship! Because I don't realize that I need to sacrifice everything for this fucking decoy thing; even if it's my health."

She wanted to hit him right now, and she had never felt that way before. He would continue with his comments, he would continue disregarding her feelings and opinions, and if he could he would run her life until her dying day. Why the hell did she love him so much? What exactly did he have that she needed or even liked? And how could she love someone so much and hate him at the same time?

"You can't run my life anymore, Nathan!" she continued yelling at him, beginning to make her way to the door for another storm out. Her eyes were like open faucets, there was no stopping these tears.

"Haley, wait!" he grabbed onto her arm just as her other hand reached for the doorknob.

"Let go of me!" she screamed trying to shake him off her. "LET GO OF ME!"

He immediately let go of her arm, in shock of the way she had just raised her voice at him.

Who the hell was this girl?

What had he turned her into?

But before he could come up with a decent answer to any one of his questions, she was out of his house.

The past month was hard on her with Nathan being away at basketball training camp in Europe. It killed her to be away from him for what would be their first summer together.

For those first two weeks following graduation they were inseparable. She was so in-love that her heart ached whenever she thought about him.

Nathan was about to give up on the camp, too. But she urged him to go anyway. It would do wonders for his game and only a select few from across the country were chosen to go.

Right now she was kind of dreading how selfless she was with him. She really needed his arms around her.

Especially now with how sick she was feeling. Too sick…

Quickly, Haley got out of Lindsey's double bed and rushed to the connecting bathroom. She grabbed onto the toilet and began throwing up. Stupid Mexican food! Haley thought to herself.

"God! Are you okay?" Lindsey asked after waking up from the noise Haley was making.

"I'm never eating Mexican food again," Haley said, falling to the wall across from the toilet. "I feel so sick."

Lindsey continued standing in the doorway and looking at Haley with her arms crossed. "You're sick because of the Mexican food?"

Haley looked up at Lindsey, and then grabbed for the toilet paper to wipe her mouth. She was probably looking like hell. "Well, that is what I just threw up," she coughed.

"I ate from that Mexican food, too," Lindsey continued studying her. "And I'm not sick."

"But you didn't eat as much as I did," Haley laughed at herself.

"I sure didn't," Lindsey agreed.

The two of them remained silent, Haley trying to recover and Lindsey continuing to look at her friend as if contemplating whether to speak.

"You're still a virgin, right?" she shocked Haley by asking.

"What?" Haley looked up at Lindsey again, surprised at the question but now trying to quickly come up with what to say.

"I mean, you'd tell me if you weren't, right?"

Haley bit her bottom lip. "I couldn't tell you!" she said as if caught red-handed. "I- I mean, it just happened. And, I don't know. I just… I feel like such a hypocrite after saying for so many years how I'm going to wait until I get married. And I, I just couldn't tell you after that."

"You know I wouldn't judge you, Haley," Lindsey told her best friend. "And I understand why you didn't tell me. Kind of wish you did, though."

Haley nodded, not knowing how to reply to that.

There was another second of silence before Lindsey spoke again, "You're pregnant."

"I-I'm what?" Haley looked at Lindsey with wide eyes. Had she gone insane? Sex didn't always translate into a pregnancy. This was the twenty-first century! There were contraceptives and… stuff.

"This," Lindsey signaled towards the toilet, "is morning sickness, not food poisoning. And it wouldn't be the first time I heard you throwing up either because of so-called 'Chinese food' or 'Indian food'."

"Seriously, Linds-"

"Asking me whether I wanted to have salty pizza with Nutella yesterday is cravings-"

"So I was in the mood for something a little weird, so what?"

"And it's been weeks since you needed to get your last period," Lindsey continued.

"That's stress over this whole college thing. It does that sometimes," Haley defended. Sure, it's never been this late before, but that didn't mean she was pregnant.

"Are you on the pill?" Lindsey finally asked.

"Of course I am!" Haley said quickly. She had gone on it a few days after her Prom night. "I mean I wasn't that first night but we were protected afterwards-" she tried to reason.

"Did he use a condom?" Lindsey continued inquiring."Your first time, I mean."

"Not that night. But that was only once," she explained. "We were protected every night after that."

"It only takes one time, Hales," Lindsey told her, looking into her friend's eyes. "You're pregnant," she repeated.

"I can't be pregnant," Haley shook her head refusing to listen to any more. "I just finished high school."

A/N: Sorry for the sadness. I'm going to say again that y'all know that I love my angst. But I promise the NH interaction from now on will be… less dramatic.

Review please!