Chapter 36 – Atonement. Pt 1
John watched, his hand on his head as they drove away.
After a moment of staring at the empty driveway, John headed over to the hangar. It'd be emptier now, considering the Ryes plane was gone, but he just wanted to check on his airship, to run his hand along it one more time. In the days, maybe weeks to come, he couldn't see himself coming here much. His reasons to were dwindling by the hour.
As he pushed the door open; his airship, his pride and joy, it was still sat in the exact same place as it had been the night before. John reached over, ran his fingers on the Edens gate symbol painted on the side. He'd always considered bringing it to the bunker but, there was never anywhere to store it and, with almost every inch of it being filled with people nowadays, he knew he'd have to say goodbye to it before the collapse.
Maybe the day had already come and gone.
"John" Dom walked over with a radio in his hand, "Yosef just gave word on that Scriver. He's been taken hostage by some trailer park" even Dom sounded perplexed at the thought of it. It wasn't often that their men were taken hostage by the resistance – unless they wanted to be.
Matthew Scriver. He was one of the men on Jacobs infamous lists. Missing in action… That was the word. More like, traitorous little bitch that was going to burn when the collapse came around.
Still, John told Dom to send some men, to keep their heads low, to bring him back. Whether he wanted it or not.
It was then, as Dom left, telling him that he'd meet him back at the van, that John decided to sit in his airship, to stare at the open garage door.
Part of him wanted to fly over to the Ryes himself and blow the whole place up… then, he considered just leaving all of this behind him… and then he almost laughed at himself and jumped out…
To banish such thoughts from his mind, John considered their little run-away, Scriver. There was a lot of things John could do to him. Part of him almost thought that a stray bullet taking him out before his men got to him would be a mercy, especially in light of the things John would do to him – and then he wondered if he'd been spending too much time with Laurie to even consider giving a man like that any mercy…. And then he stopped, and wondered if he'd do the same to Laurie if she'd ran after what had happened to Ads.
John wasn't sure he would have stopped her.
But, Laurie was different.
Joseph had said them words as soon as John had begged him to let him keep her. He'd said she was meant for more. That she wasn't meant to be locked away underground.
That she was to be another lamb amongst wolves in the mountains. That the Deputy would see Johns weakness and she'd die because of it…
And that was when John had thought of a way to end this. Joseph wouldn't be happy with it. Not with the risks involved but, this was Johns home. His life, his sacrifice, and he wasn't about to leave Laurie amongst a load of wolves for any longer than necessary. Ads had been with Jacob a few weeks and he'd already started to turn in to a cold, ruthless killer; and he'd had no sense of anger or wrath in him when he'd came here.
If anything, he was just some lazy teenage boy who just needed a bit of direction.
John got in to his van, staring out at the ranch one last time. Laurie was meant to be with him right now, Ads too. They should have been making their way to the mountains together, to drop Ads off… That's what should have been happening.
"I think it's about time I make a visit to my lost souls" John said out loud. Dom, who had sat himself in the passenger seat wasn't sure if John was talking to him or himself…
The bunker, Johns bunker, his little piece of solitude, was getting busier by the day. Families from around the region had slowly been moving in, leaving their old lives behind them to prepare for the collapse. It was full of noise, full of good words and cheery voices, of smiles and nods. Much, much different to that day the Deputy had been there.
Despite the resistance, despite the people who didn't believe, there were people who did. People who came to John themselves, who asked him to save them - much like the Willis' had done. People that clung to this hope that they could be saved, that believed. And, it was days like that, people like that, that helped remind him why he did this, that not everyone was blind...
Even if, deeper underground, in the very depths of the bunker, there lay those who hadn't reached their atonement yet – or specifically, those that had that little more reluctance to reach it.
Like Hudson.
Now, that girl had some guts - John had almost seen them once but then, he'd decided to leave her lying there for a few hours instead, promises to bleed her dry and gut her like a pig if the Deputy didn't stop imprinted in to her head. He would have left her there for a lot longer had it not been for Joseph.
And, it had been Joseph who had carried her back to her room when she'd screamed and cried herself in to exhaustion.
So, even when they'd all sit there, on their knee's, begging his brother for mercy as he stood just outside the door, they didn't even realise the horrors John could inflict on them if he wasn't there. That was a mercy all in itself.
John looked through at Hudson, she was lying down on her bed, her legs tucked in to her chest. He could honestly think of so many things he could do to her, to make her pay for what the Deputy had done. So many things, but he didn't. Instead, he went in to the room next door.
It had the same concrete walls as did all of the bunker, but it had a desk in the middle which he sat at, putting his feet up on as he leaned back, putting his hands behind his head.
This was where he did most of his thinking. Whether it was about the deputy, about the sinners, about Laurie. This was where he sat, listening to the cries and the screams that got through the walls.
It was quiet today though. It was as if they knew the end was upon them. That their atonement was in sight.
John pulled over a file that was sat on his desk, photos and profiles of the five harbingers that had arrived in their compound that night.
The first was of Deputy Staci Pratt - who, had the honour of hanging out with Jacob up in the mountains. And, from what he'd seen, Jacob had beat him in to submission without laying a finger on him. He'd done a lot worse, at least people knew what John could do, it wasn't as if he hid it, but Jacob made killers, was making an army, the Deputy had his work cut out for him if he ever made it to one of Jacobs chairs.
Pratt was terrified, but he was a believer, in Josephs words, in Jacobs. A Judas in the making though - that's what Jacob had told him before he'd left with Ads.
And Faith, his darling sister had the pleasure of accommodating both the Whitehorse and Marshall Burke. Joseph had so much faith in her, much more than he should have, and that had only been proved by the disappearance of the Sheriff. Who was now to be found throwing himself around the prison and heading the resistance in Henbane. John had almost laughed when he'd heard it, but he'd contained himself.
But, she'd made up for it with the Marshal - he was so blissed the fuck out, she'd probably be able to make him do anything for her.
Then, he thought of his own harbinger, of how cold she was, of how much she'd fought him. He looked at her picture, of how serious she looked, but then he paired it with the Deputy, with the crooked grin and the lanky features, which he seemed to have grown in to as he'd ran around killing. He smiled, if Laurie was his weakness, Hudson was definitely his, and him hers.
John had seen it. He'd seen something as he'd listened to her muffle cries as they'd stood in his red room. The Deputy had never said many words to him, but that day, when he'd asked who wanted to go first, the word yes had left him so desperately, so willingly, John had almost thought that he'd got him, almost thought that he'd be able to tell Joseph that the harbingers had been stopped, that the seals would lay unbroken for another day…
But that's the thing with prophecies of God, once they start, stopping them is a whole other ball game.
And that was probably part of the reason why the Deputy threw himself down some stairs, escaped from his bonds and fought his way out.
But that wasn't about to stop John. And, if he couldn't make the Deputy say yes, he was sure a night with Jacob could. The Deputy thought John was terrible, they didn't realise the horrors his brother could bestow upon him and his friends…
But then, a thought hit John. If he didn't make the Deputy see, would death not be an easier way out… He would have failed, he would have failed Joseph and wasn't that what he feared most… not being enough for his brother. He wasn't afraid to die, death was inevitable. And… he'd give his life for the project. For Joseph. No matter how many people told him it wasn't worth it. No matter how many times he'd told himself it wasn't worth it. Joseph, this project, it had saved him from himself, saved him from that world that wanted him to be a man that he hated, to be someone who couldn't look in the mirror without making himself sick…
John sat up, taking a deep breath…
The worst thing was that, Josephs promise, it hadn't made that much of a difference. Not really. He was happier now, so much happier; this bunker made him feel the safest he'd even been ever but he couldn't just lock himself away in it anymore... And, over the years, he'd given so much to this project, listened to so many confessions, so many secrets, he didn't think he had anything left inside of himself of the person he wanted to be…
But then, there was Laurie... and she was broken and stupid and stubborn, but she was just like him, but she was so different, so merciful – too merciful – but without mercy, how could you achieve atonement with a sin like wrath… how could you achieve any sort of atonement...
And she'd said she'd loved him… and loads of woman had done that - his mother, his lovers, his brothers, but, that had felt real, not forced, not pretend, not in it for anything, but him. Joseph said he had to let more love in, that he had to or he'd die young, never to see the garden they created…
And that was why, when John heard that the deputy had helped the traitorous bastard run away, he finally decided on his plan.
He had to make the Deputy see, he had to show him…
So, in those days leading up to the ultimatum, John left Hudson to herself. She'd already said yes to him, he'd dug in enough for that, she just wasn't ready to atone yet, which was fine. He was sure the Deputy could help her with that.
Although, it was mostly because he spent his days sat in his office, waiting for word off his brother that never came. He knew they'd got there safely, but Jacob had sent Randy back almost immediately, not even giving him the chance to say his goodbyes properly.
Randy had said he'd given Laurie a letter from John before he'd left, but whether she'd read it, he didn't now. Whether Jacob had stripped her of all her things as soon as she'd walked through the gates of that veteran centre, he had no clue.
All he had was Josephs word that Jacob wasn't about to turn her in to one of his Chosens but, Jacob had never been one to listen, which made it all the harder to wait…
And then, the day came when the Deputy was in the midst of taking another outpost and, John bundled Hudson in to a van and they headed off to Falls End.
This was it... the day they'd reach the atonement they'd all been waiting for.
It took moments to take the town again. The Deputy would never understand the hold the Seeds had on this county, of how easy it was for them to get to him. John could have picked the Deputy up himself, could have taken him to his bunker and strapped him down, but Joseph wanted him to come willingly... And, John hoped, that with this, he could either prove that he was unworthy of salvation - so he could happily shoot him and be done with it - or the Deputy would surprise him, that he would say yes and make it all the easier for them...
Within an hour or so, the church was decorated, awaiting the Deputy's arrival, and Pastor Jerome, Mary-May and Nick were all stood in front of him. The Deputy none the wiser.
The rest of the people from Falls End were locked away in the bar, their booze and guns confiscated, and their cries silenced by the guns aimed at their heads. He wanted an audience, but not that many.
John raised the radio to his lips as he looked to Hudson who Dom had a hold of in the back of the church, a gag in her mouth to keep her quiet.
"Your actions have consequences Deputy. I've gathered all your friends here at Falls End to atone for your sins. Your welcome to join us. After all, if it weren't for you, they wouldn't be in this predicament... This is your last chance to say yes Deputy… Don't be late".
Hey, thanks for reading! Not much story development, just some little Johnny thoughts for you all. This also took a lot longer to get out than I hoped! Next part should be out before the end of the week! A nice little 'different' kind of atonement scene for you all to enjoy!