36: Siblings
Kyomi
Where is my brother?
He should have been here an hour ago. Why is he staying late from school again?
What could be so important?
My hands pinch the sides of my head. I can't study, I can't even think straight. I keep face at school, but I open up when I get home. To him, anyways. Mom isn't much for civil conversation.
He's been doing this since he started senior year. It's awful. I don't think I can take it anymore.
A soft, firm hand at the door quiets my insides.
"Kyomi,"
I try to ignore him.
"Kyomi-san. Open the door, now."
She won't take any more flack. Fearing her wrath, I open the door.
"Yes, mother?"
"Your brother should have been home from school an hour ago. Do you know where he might be?"
"No Mother," I hang my head. "I don't,"
She observes my melancholy with disinterest. Her eyes shift to my writing desk. Noticing the lack of progress in my studies, she sighs.
"You can't be so lazy. If you want to succeed, you'll have to work your hardest. I'll worry about your brother."
She leaves before I can even answer her.
Witch… I can't just ignore him.
Dad died in a drunken stupor. He got in a fist fight with some jerk at the downtown pub, and he didn't make it out. He was nice to us, though. He never got drunk at home and always cheered us up when life weighed on us.
Mom didn't like that much. She thought his playful nature would make us lazy.
When she took his share of the reins, she got even more stoic. Sometimes, I have trouble even thinking of her as my mom.
My thoughts return to my brother again.
Why is he staying late from school again? What could be so important?
Where is my brother?
Itaru
"Go play with Hanako,"
Dad's dead tired. He's drinking too much beer, so his body's shivering, and his eyes are red. He's really quiet, so it's hard to hear him. He gets like this a lot at night. Mako-chan says it's withdrawal, but… I have no idea what that means.
"Hanako's sleeping," I explain.
He doesn't turn his eyes towards me. Instead, he takes another swig of the Moonwine.
"Go play with Jiro,"
"He's cleaning."
"Tell him to stop. He'll listen to you."
"I want you to play with me."
I hang off his arm. He's shaken me off a couple times in the past, but he's totally out of it today. He doesn't resist.
"Stop it,"
"Daddy, spin me around."
"I can't do that anymore."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm not him."
"Not who, Dad—?"
"I'm not your father!"
His fist hits the table, shaking the beer bottles. His eyes go wide for a second before their gaze goes back to his drink.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled. Go to bed."
On the verge of tears, I clench my fists. "I want to call Mako-chan."
"Go ahead," he rests his head on the table. "But I don't think he'll be up."
I skip to the kitchen and plug in his cell phone number. I hope he answers; I wouldn't want him to think it's Dad.
"Mako-chan?"
"Haah…"
He breathes deeply. After taking a minute to catch said breath, he speaks.
"Itaru? What's up?"
"Are you okay, big brother?"
"Ah… Yeah. Totally. Go ahead,"
"I wanted to talk to you."
I bring the phone close to my ear. "Dad's being mean again."
"You kidding me? Does that bastard get off making you cry?"
"He looked sad, Mako-chan." I hang my head. "I don't think he meant to—"
"Don't feel bad for him, okay? He's not our dad, Itaru. Not since he cheated on Mom."
"Can we talk about something else?"
I slump against the counter.
"I… I don't wanna fight right now."
He sighs. "Right. I'm sorry, Itaru."
"It's okay,"
He chuckles. "I had an awesome day. You remember Otome? That girl I hung out with in junior high?"
"The one you said was 'hot'?"
"Yes… NO, that's not what I—Oh, never mind. Yeah, her. We're dating."
"Yay!"
I lift my spare arm in the air. "My brother's got a girlfriend!"
"Yep, that's the long and short of it. I can't believe we ever lost touch."
"Well, Mako-chan's learned from his mistakes."
"I hadn't thought of it that way,"
He stops for a second.
"I have to go. Mom's stirring, and she wouldn't want me on the phone this late. Bye, Itaru."
"Bye, Mako-chan."
I hang up.
Aw… Mako-chan has a cute girlfriend…
I freeze for a moment.
But… I thought he already had one…
Karen
8:00 PM
"No,"
My teeth cut open my lips. They bleed. My face has lost color, and my eyes are blank.
"You… You didn't seriously—"
"Wh-what's with you?" Otome's hiding her head in her pillow, trying to hide her embarrassment. "You joke about this all the time.
"Yeah, 'joke'. They'll expel you for this."
"Only if you tell,"
She lifts her face out of the pillow.
"Will you?"
Her glare is too much for me to ignore.
"…Of course I won't tell."
"Thank you,"
"Jerk," I punctuate needlessly, "Wow… That was fast."
Eyes to the floor, Otome plays with her ponytail. "It's no big deal. We've liked each other for a while now. It made sense to try it out…"
My eyes widen. "He used a condom, right?"
She's petrified.
"Otome… He used a condom, RIGHT?"
"No,"
I hold her hands in mine. "What did you do? How… How far?"
"We didn't go all the way. He… it didn't get in me."
"Eww…" I shudder. "I didn't need that imagery."
"You asked me to—"
She sighs and leans her head on my shoulder. This just feels weird. I'm two years younger, and she's relying on me for comfort.
It's a nice change… Still…
"It's weird. It felt so good when it happened, but now…? I feel guilty."
She throws her back against her bed.
"I mean, was it worth the thrill? What if something happens…?"
Otome rests her head on her knees. "What if I get pregnant?"
"Hey, you said it didn't get in, right?"
"Yeah, but… what if I was in such a rush, I forgot? If I got pregnant, than everyone would—"
"Hey,"
I give her the biggest smile I can muster. "Chill out, okay? It was just one time. Just don't let it happen again."
Otome nods, but she's not totally convinced. Worse, I can tell something else is nagging her conscience.
"Otome?"
"It's nothing,"
She shakes off, a dubious smile on her face. "I was just thinking about how weird this conversation is."
"Yeah," I giggle, standing up. "I figured you'd wait a couple years. But, what's done is done. And for what it's worth, I'm happy for you and Makoto."
My chest tightens. I know there's something I'm forgetting, and it has nothing to do with how weird it is that I'm talking about my sister's sex life.
There's something wrong with this… It's not just how fast it was… It's not just that they lost touch…
It's Katsura.
No.
No. She didn't do this. She wouldn't.
She… She cheated on some poor girl…
"What the hell's wrong with you?"
I snap and grab a fistful of her shirt.
"Karen? What's-?"
"You helped him cheat on his girlfriend!"
I slap her across the face. Tears tear their way down the top layer of my skin.
"How could you do this to her?"
"Katsura… She's… She's evil!"
She shoves me away.
"She tried to kill me at the pool; I know she did! Mako-chan doesn't deserve a loose cannon like her."
"Otome, you're not making sense!"
"I know what I'm talking about! That girl's always been so prim and proper, and everyone freaking loves her!"
She slams her hands on the top of her dresser drawer.
"If he just tries to avoid her… It'll be alright… He loves me… He won't cheat on me—"
I slap her again.
"Snap out of it! You would never cheat on someone like that. You're not that cheap!"
"How is it wrong if we love each other? We can do whatever the hell we want. It's got nothing to do with you!"
She pushes me towards the front door before I can defend myself. She's so much stronger than I am.
"Otome, listen to me."
"No,"
She opens the door and practically throws me out. I land hard on my shoulder.
"Karen,"
My dad runs up the stairs, going down on one knee when he reaches me.
"Are you alright? What happened?"
Dead inside, I lift myself off the floor. I answer him curtly.
"I slipped. That's all."