CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT
The next day, she set off early to see him.
She had hardly slept at all.
She felt terrible, so terrible for what had to be done...
But she had hope that he would get through this. She had hope, that may be after he was recovered they would get back together. She wouldn't cut him off completely, she just couldn't...
"Dana Scully to see Fox Mulder?" She said as she arrived at the reception, placing her car keys in the pocket of her leather jacket.
The receptionist smiled at her, a tight smile. May be she was stressed, it was busy.
She checked the records, longer than Scully had expected her to.
Scully pursed her lips and shifted her weight, her heart beating fast as she started to get worried. She frowned a little, unsure of what was taking so long...
"Oh yes, of course. Sorry about that. Just go through."
Scully paused and looked at the receptionist's face, trying to see if she had missed something.. but no, apparently not...
So she smiled a little in thanks and started off down the busy corridor to Mulder's room. She saw his Doctor briefly outside to discuss how he had been over night. The response she got was "quiet, very quiet."
Scully felt her chest tighten as she heard that.
She knew what that meant...
She bit her bottom lip anxiously and tucked her red hair behind her ear. Placing her hand on the door handle she took a deep breath and walked in..
As she saw him, she was relieved and happy to see that he was sitting upright in the bed now and was in conversation with an older female Nurse, her face jolly as she laughed at something Mulder had said. He looked more alert than yesterday, she saw this as a good sign.
Yes, she had a good feeling about Georgetown.
She waited for a second as they spoke, pressing her hands into her jacket pockets, looking at him lovingly.
It was going to be hard not to kiss him, not to caress him..
"Oh look, you have a visitor." The Nurse said cheerily, noticing her first. Scully smiled, her heart racing anxiously as he turned to look at her.
She took a deep breath as she saw that he glanced at her briefly, then turned back to the Nurse.
But he didn't show any emotion on his face..
"Hi." She breathed, unsure of what he was feeling.
Mulder nodded and said his thanks to the Nurse as she left the room, smiling at Scully as she passed her.
She felt like the staff here were a lot better, a lot friendlier.
She felt good about the transfer, it had been the right thing to do...
Scully waited until she had left the room then started towards Mulder.
He was looking down into his lap, his face surprisingly blank and emotionless, unlike he had appeared to be with the Nurse. She frowned a little with concern, unsure. As she got closer, she saw that he had bags under his eyes..
"Hey." She whispered softly, keeping a safe enough distance as her arms were crying out to hold him.
"Hello." He said blankly, still staring at his lap.
Scully swallowed anxiously.
"How are you?" She pressed, trying again.
"Fine. Better."
She stared at him as he spoke monosyllabically. Something wasn't right.
"Are you sure? You wanna talk about it?"
She jumped in surprise he scoffed at her words, then shook his head.
"What?" She asked, hurt.
"Are you kidding me?" He snapped in disbelief. "You want to talk, about it?!"
She frowned and found that her body was shaking slightly with nervous dread..
"Yes, I'm your friend, I'm here to help you."
"Riiiight.." Mulder said sarcastically, "..you're here to help. Well thanks a lot Scully, but I think you have done enough, don't you?"
She flinched at his tone. It made her insides hurt.
" Mulder please… don't be like this.." she begged..
"Scully! What the hell Scully!" He snapped, unable to look at her. "What are you even doing here!?"
"I'm here to see you! I don't want you to get scared again. I didn't want to cut you off completely, not straight away…"
"Oh really." He scoffed again, shaking his head in disbelief. His face was full of thunder. "But you want to cut me off slowly, is that what you're saying?"
She blinked in shock, the pain in her heart was overwhelming. It was making her feel nauseous...
"No… no that's not…." She spluttered, unable to justify herself.
"Just shut up Scully! Shut up! I don't wanna hear it!"
She placed a hand on her stomach as if she had been wounded by his words. She gasped as her body trembled and the tears sprouted from her eyes. Mulder noticed of course, without even looking directly at her..
"Stop fucking crying Scully. God dammit!" He exclaimed angrily.
She was aghast, she couldn't believe it.
What had she done?! What had she done!
Without thinking she rushed up to his bedside, closing the gap between them, but it was a mistake, as he turned on her angrily, his eyes shining with furious tears.
"Don't Scully. Don't even think about coming any closer." He drawled, his voice low and rough.
"Mulder! Mulder please… I know you're angry and upset at me but it's for the best! It's for the best Mulder!" She begged desperately.
"Don't.. just… just SHUT up!" He snapped, reeling away from her.
"I'm not going to let you do this. I can't stand it. Mulder I'm your friend, your best friend. Just because we can't be together right now it doesn't mean we can't still talk to each other, if you need me I'm gonna be here.."
"You should have thought about that before you fucking decided to leave me Scully!" He shouted over her, silencing her immediately.
He frowned, her voice was annoying him, giving him a headache..
She whimpered in despair, trying to find a way to stop this horror that was unfolding, and he didn't stop..
"I can't be just your friend right now Scully. I can't believe you are even suggest-" He trembled, then paused, taking a shallow breath, "-just please, leave me alone! I'm going to focus on getting better, getting out of here. You said it yourself, I need to stop thinking about you, and the only way to do that is to shut you out of my life, this is what you wanted, right? YOU FUCKING WANTED THIS DIDN'T YOU?!"
"Mulder please no! Please Mulder!" She cried, the tears running down her cheeks and into her mouth. She must have looked like a total mess, but she couldn't care less..
"GET OUT SCULLY!" He raged, not giving her another chance.
She stared at him in shock, eyes wide open.
"No…. no…" She gasped, shaking her head.
He ran a hand through his hair feeling the stress of the situation then pressed his fingers to his temples, pursing his lips with anger. She could feel it seething from his body.
She stood her ground, hoping he would come to his senses…
"GOD DAMMIT SCULLY GET…OUT...!"
She took a step back as he exploded with fury. She had never heard him so mad or upset in his life...
So she had no choice but to turn and bolt from the room, her whole life crashing around her as she knew now that it was over.
It was over. She had lost him, the love of her life….
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