Yep, two chapters in one day! Lord forbid I hate this arc, but I took some creative liberties with it. Most of the arc happens off-screen as Deidara avoids it like the plague. After my beta and I went through it, we added in some bits that made this a lot more enjoyable for me, because Sora nearly made me want to delete this chapter. So there are some fun moments in here along with key story elements near the end.

I wanted to post this right away as I had finished it sooner than I thought, and I honestly didn't want it to sit in my documents for over a week knowing that I could be working on the Hidan and Kakuzu arc. I did enjoy writing some parts of this, but I see it as a necessary evil to the plot, all long fics have those chapters at some point.

Little note: Deidara will refer to this as the "Sora arc" because he forgot what it was actually called and only associates the arc with Sora. This chapter is to reflect my lack brain memory of certain aspects of the anime-only side of the show.

Hope you guys enjoy this!

"Blah" - English

Warning: EXTREMELY CRUDE LANGUAGE, like holy shit is there a fuck ton of swearing near the beginning! Heavy Sora bashing, violence, sexy jutsu, Anko has bad cravings, deaths, all the fun stuff!

Disclaimer: Sora's existence makes me glad that I do not own Naruto.

A few days had passed since Team 7 returned, and now that Kakashi has recovered, he was working with Yamato to train Naruto in wind style. Oddly enough him, Sasuke, Sai and Sakura went to look at some grave robbings happening in the Fire Temple with Yamato.

Why does this seem so familiar? My notes don't mention anything about the Fire Temple except for Hidan and Kakuzu taking the monk guy, but I haven't heard anything from the Akatsuki since we rescued Gaara.

This continued to bother me for several more days as I waited for everyone to return. On the day they did return I was wearing my ANBU mask and my hair was in an ancient Greek bun with my bangs braided and pressed to the side of my head. Most people are unable to recognize me because of this.

Heading to Tsunade's office after spending Kami knows how many hours in the surveillance room, I couldn't help but notice Asuma standing in the hallway and… why is there a huge ass dent in the wall? I don't like this already… I'm also having an odd case of deja vu.

"Asuma-san?" Asuma jolted a little at my sudden appearance, so I partially remove my mask to show my face, "It's me. What's going on?"

Asuma takes a drag of his cigarette, much to the dismay of my nose, "Well you see-"

"Ah! Deidara-nii!" Asuma was cut short when Naruto tackles me into a hug, "So that's what you look like in an ANBU uniform! You look so cool, dattebayo!" I ruffle my brother's hair when I spot Sai and Sasuke in arm casts, Sakura was chatting with… oh fuck no.

Now, generally... I am willing to take chances with people in this world. Hell, Sakura is my beloved student and Sasuke is my precious brother-in-law. As long as they do not harm those precious to me, I can let bygones be bygones and tolerate their existence.

THIS was NOT one of those cases!

"Oh, Deidara-nii, this is Sora! He's-"

"Son of Poseidon's dolphin shaped dick! WHY THE FUCK IS THIS HELL SPAWN OF A BRAT HERE?!" This goes on for some time as I verbally rage in English of some of the most crude, vulgar language my brain could produce.

I hate this arc, I hate this fucking kid. I endured this stupid arc as I slowly waited the agonizing weeks waiting for Hidan and Kakuzu's arc to be dubbed when I was in middle school. And now I'm reliving this and have to deal with his existence? FUCK. NO.

"I'm fucking done! I am not going to tolerate this shit head because 'oh! He's special and everyone deserves a chance!'" That quote bit was done with a high pitched lecture tone before going back to yelling, "I'D SOONER MAKE OUT WITH THE FUCKING THREE TAILS BEFORE I DEAL WITH HIM!" Without much warning, I turn on my heel and storm off, hair undone and floating in every direction like a pissed off porcupine.

3rd person POV

Sora, Asuma, Sai, Tsunade and Yamato all stare at the spot where the raging ANBU once stood in confusion and shock at the outburst. Sasuke and Sakura were slowly translating chunks of the words in their head, both turning red at some of the more… ahem, vulgar stuff.

Naruto was half blushing, half taking notes. Living with Deidara most of his life made him almost fluent in English. Though he's curious to know who this Poseidon person was and why he had a male reproductive organ in the shape of Iruka-sensei. (AN:I added this in to humor my beta. Iruka means dolphin in Japanese. I didn't know this until she kindly informed me of the translation and it makes this whole language barrier thing absolutely fun)

"What did he say?" Sora folds his arms in annoyance, "It sounds like he was insulting me."

Sai was just as lost, "Technically, whenever someone speaks in tongue it always sounds like an insult." Though unlike Sora, he caught on pretty quickly who the rage was directed at.

Naruto gives Sora a sympathetic look, "Trust me… you're better off not knowing what he said, dattebayo. Usually when Deidara-nii yells in his other tongue, it's things he doesn't want people to understand."

The monk scoffed, "So… he hates me like everyone else does…" The last bit was more of a mumble than anything. Even people that were absolute strangers to him were hating him!

Sakura looks over at Sora and shakes her head, "It's not that he hates you… Deidara-sensei… okay he hates most people and I think seeing Sai and Sasuke-kun injured set him off." She tried reasoning, but in reality, the original members of Team 7 all thought the same thing.

'No… Deidara just hates his guts.'

Sai pats Sora on the shoulder with his uninjured hand, "I'll advise you to not go near him. His rage is unmatched by anyone I have ever met. Just look at Sakura, she was his student and her temper is that of a boar. His temper is worse." This gave him a well aimed punch to the stomach.

Yamato raises his hands to his chest in a "settle down please" motion, "Um… Sakura, let's not injure Sai anymore than he already is. Okay?" The poor man smiled pathetically as Sasuke jumped in to divert her rage.

Sora stared at this group with a mixture of annoyance and jealousy, 'They act like idiots… but they actually care for each other…'

The next few days

Deidara's POV

I avoided Sora like the plague fearing I would kill him by accident. He's been acting like a little shit ever since he got here, he even called Itachi an old man because of his lines. Itachi didn't mind, but it sure pissed off Sasuke, not to mention me.

I honestly had blocked the majority of this arc from my memory. All I could remember was a few scenes of Sora, the main bad guy is his dad and there's some chick who gets turned on every time she's around Naruto and keeps wanting to kiss him. My best bet for this arc is to just let it happen and be far, far away from Konoha. The sooner this is over, the sooner I can breath down Asuma's neck like a koala with abandonment issues.

Which is exactly why I took Anko to Kirigakure for a double baby shower! Yeah, a double baby shower. Mei's pregnant as well! Though she's only a few weeks along and not showing, we decided to hold a little party. I also caught Haku spending time with a very cute, humble civilian girl that seemed to have a love for making medicine. (AN: I will make a side story of the baby shower sometime before the babies are born)

Besides those events, not much was going on. I wanted to keep Anko safely away from the drama in order to keep the babies safe. But hey, it kept us out of Konoha for a while!

Though, it begs the question… why does Konoha still looks like it's stuck in the Sora arc? The last few episodes to be specific.

"Anko, stay on this bird and do not get off it until I land it, un." I give my best friend a quick hug then leap off the bird when I spot a blotch of orange and yellow, "Naruto! What the hell is going on, un?" I take note of the redheaded woman eyeing me like I was a hunk of meat. Lady, I'm married and my husband is way sexier than you, and he dresses like a bloody prude.

"Sora's gone nuts! But this lady has been keeping me away from him, I have to stop him, dattebayo!" Naruto was panting heavily from fighting, "She swaps bodies and steals life forces by kissing, that's her jutsu. It allows her to change her nature element. I think everyone else is dealing with the reanimation army."

I sigh, I did not want to deal with this but I guess there's no choice, "I got her honey. Go help your friend, use your seals, un." I shoo him away, and when the woman tried to chase Naruto I throw a kunai aiming for her hair, "I'm your opponent now, un."

At first, she looked like she was ready to burst into some kind of feminist rant about her hair, but then she noticed… I don't really know what she noticed. Her eyes just… kinda lit up in interest? My trench coat reached halfway down my shins, and while it is form fitting at the top, I still look feminine. Must be my eye, Itachi always mentions that it's a nice color.

"My… a real man has graced me with his presence. The name is Fuka, and what is yours?" Shivers ran down my spine as she flipped her hair with a wink, trying to be seductive, frankly I like to think I can do a better job. At least as a woman I sound like Jessica Rabbit, and not a Japanese woman with a head cold. Now to think about it, I remember Fuka having a similar voice in the dub.

"Deidara. And don't try to use those tricks on me, it won't work, un." I quickly adjust my coat collar due to being uncomfortable in her presence. Her outfit was just… wrong.

'Lady… please wear a better shirt, you're barely inside this one, and would it kill you to wear a bloody bra? Having your shirt designed in a way where you're one wrong turn from falling out sideways is not sexy or seductive, you just look like a harlot. Tsunade can get away with it because her shirt is pretty much just a kimono bra and Mei at least only shows the top part of- I'm internally nagging a fully grown woman…' Old habits never die.

"I can already see you squirming. Tell me, have you ever kissed a real woman before?" She smirks as I feel my face twist in confusion, "Seems not, then allow me to teach you. Do you prefer soft or French?" The fact French is in this world's vocabulary is still baffling to me.

Deciding to humor her, I place a finger to my lips and tilt my head slightly with a smirk, "Whatever brings the most passion is what I prefer. Though you are not the most attractive woman I have met, so there would not be any pleasure in my lips greeting yours. I like the all natural type, un." I mean, Itachi does almost nothing with his appearance. He washes his face, takes baths, and makes sure he wears clean clothes and yet he is still drop dead gorgeous.

Fuka bristles with annoyance, "How dare you mock me!" She proceeds to use lightning jutsu, obviously trying to get me to go near her based on the strikes. It was sadly working as I needed to avoid the attacks to keep my clay useable.

"I am not interested in yo-" I was cut off when she grabbed my face.

"Kiss of death…" Her lips were about to connect to mine, until I blocked it with the back of my hand, causing me to kiss my palm. Frankly, I'd rather kiss myself then this chick, "What the?!"

"I'm a married man." I shove her away then proceed to throw C1s at her to gain some distance. The moment she realized that I wasn't going to comply willingly… she seem to have taken that as a challenge.

"Explosion release? In Konoha?" Man this woman must have lived under a rock, "How wonderful, I haven't had that chakra nature in some time… well, Deidara… I'm certain your wife wouldn't mind if you tried other women." She smirked, only to dodge in panic when a stream of fire barely missed her face.

"I believe his wife would mind that actually." Itachi stood next to me, mildly annoyed that there was a woman flirting with me.

I had to snort when Itachi referred to himself as the wife, usually I'm the one that does that, "Considering the wife is me. Yes, Deidara, I know you're laughing, go ahead." That set me off in a flurry of laughter, he was straight faced the entire time he was saying all that!

Obviously, Fuka was pissed, but then like every other woman in this damn world, she noticed Itachi, "Oh my… another man. A real man it seems." What am I? Chopped liver? Also, back off bitch, he's off the market.

My eye twitches, "Fuka-san, that is not how you seduce a married man... transform." Using the sexy jutsu I watch as Fuka openly gawk at my appearance as I stretched before relaxing my body, "This is how you seduce men… rather effective if you… push things in the right direction~." (AN: Same sexy jutsu appearance, kimono and all)

Itachi's spine straightens out as he tried his hardest to not stare at the female version of me, makes things a little difficult when I gracefully move behind him, wrapping my arm around his stomach. My chest presses against his back as my other hand trails up to his throat and to his jawline, moving his head so I can make room to rest my chin on his shoulder, making him gulp. A smug smirk traced my gently painted lips as Fuka became more and more enraged. To add more salt to the wound I give Itachi a light peck on the neck, nothing to mark… except for the lipstick, "So please… back off… as you can see, you're only second rate to someone like me… and I'm a man~."

Fuka opened her mouth to shout out something, but she was cut off when Sasuke appeared out of nowhere and used chidori to pretty much fry her hair.

"You're annoying." We all watched as Fuka screamed in agony as her soul was burning up, her body morphing into that of a hideous demon before fading away, leaving only her hair behind, "Gross… and you almost kissed this thing, Deidara."

"Don't remind me." I grumble to myself as I have Anko land in the area.

I help Anko off the bird, careful to have her not step on my kimono considering it's barely on me in the first place. She looks at me up and down before whistling in approval, "Damn, ever tried seducing your Uchiha in that form?"

I nod, gently brushing loose strands of hair from my face with a slow blink, "Yes, and the results usually end in that~." I gently point at Itachi, who remained stiff as a board as Sasuke poked at him, "He doesn't respond well to me having… well… he's not use to this body~."

Anko smirks, "Hard to believe he's so innocent minded. But that makes the teasing more fun!" She then gagged, "Sorry, I think it was a bad idea to have that curry dipped dango covered in natto… ugh…"

THAT knocked Itachi out of his stupor, "Wait… who ate dango how?" Wow, that was the most un-Itachi thing to ever escape his mouth… nice job Anko.

With Naruto

3rd person POV

'What am I going to do? He has three tails already…" Naruto slumped his shoulders in annoyance as Sora stared him down, chakra tails swishing threatenly, "... Wait, seals!"

Dodging another attack from Sora, Naruto pulls out one of his many scrolls that he keeps on his person and opens it up. This particular one was made using Uzushiogakure techniques, and Jiraiya's own special seal he used on Naruto when he broke into 4 tails one time. Waiting for the right moment, Naruto slams the seal on Sora's chest, leaping away as he roared in pain from the chakra change.

"Come on… please work!" The chakra was slowly beginning to reject Sora's body, but as the seal worked its magic, the chakra returned back into the monk's body and black curved marks formed around his exposed skin like vines of ivy before fading away, "Phew…"

Sora fell to the ground unconscious, but before his face could greet the cold ground, Naruto catches him in his arms, "Easy there, buddy. You're going to be okay."

Sakura leaped over to see Naruto and an unconscious Sora, "Here, let me tend to him." Her hands glowed green with chakra as she healed his wounds sustained by attacks, "Asuma-sensei fought and killed Sora's father. The army of reanimated corpses are also gone."

Naruto sighs in relief, "Good. No one got hurt besides the attackers?"

Sakura nods, trying to concentrate on Sora, "Some injured, but no casualties."

Couple of days later

Deidara's POV

Things slowly began to settle in the village as Sora made a full recovery and came to the decision that he would travel around the world instead of becoming a monk, he wanted to experience what the world had for him. Something seemed off about this though. Like I was forgetting a key detail about this whole arc that in any other situation, I would be sticking my nose into to change. Something in my gut wanted to keep Sora in the village, but he was fine. He vanishes for the remainder of the plot, so it's not like anything important was going to happen… right?

"Don't forget to show up every once in a while, I need to make sure that seal stays on you, dattebayo!" Naruto gives Sora a thumbs up at the gate. Kurama's chakra remained in his body and is slowly alcimating to his body thanks to Naruto's seals. Yeah… Something was definitely off.

"Yeah yeah, and the next time we meet I'm gonna kick your ass with any new moves I develop while traveling." While still cocky, Sora gave Naruto a friendly grin before hopping in a 180° fashion and running off, fading away into the distance.

Okay, seriously, why is my gut telling me something bad is going to happen?

3rd person POV

Sora was heading to the Land of Lightning first to visit the temple there. While the Five Great Nations were always on rocky terms with each other, all of the temples welcome each other's monks to visit, under the condition that they do not enter certain areas. But while he was walking down a dirt road, two figures stood in his way.

"So this is the monk that Zetsu told us about. Dull grey hair and the look of a brat, and the kyuubi's chakra residing inside him."

"Who are you two?" Sora got into a defensive stance, pulling out his three bladed claws and slowly pouring chakra into them, "Out of my way, I'd rather not have to kill you two if you start a fight."

The white haired individual points at the teenage monk in annoyance, "Oi, I hate it when people make pointless threats like that! It really fucking pisses me off when people get their heads too big on the subject." He then turns to look at his green eyed partner, "Kakuzu, this shit isn't an actual monk yet, right?"

"He has hair, so the correct answer would be no, he's not one. But do not kill him, leader wants him alive." Kakuzu took to the sidelines as Hidan pulls out his scythe.

"You know my religion demands blood! Just stop me when you think he's gonna fucking die!" Hidan smirked with glee as he leaped into battle with Sora.

Deidara's POV

"Sora was captured by the Akatsuki." Was the first thing that was reported to us three days later by Tsunade, "Some travelers witnessed two men in the Akatsuki robes carrying a teenage monk with grey-blue hair somewhere. They only just now had the courage to inform us as their village has done business with the Akatsuki before."

'I don't remember Sora being captured by the Akatsuki, that doesn't make sense, why would they go after a kid that doesn't even have- No… Naruto sealed Kurama's chakra within him.' My eyes widen as the memory of Naruto bragging about his seals returned to my head. I was so bothered by this arc that I had Madara help me remember every episode of it, and it was as boring as I remembered it.

In the anime, the kyuubi chakra rejected Sora's body and left him, fading into nothingness. By teaching Naruto sealing jutsus, he changed the courses of events and caused Sora to be captured.

The Akatsuki now had a portion of the kyuubi chakra within the gedo statue.

I eye my brother as his face was slowly being consumed by rage, unaware that he caused this to happen. He was more focused on the fact that even though the Akatsuki's numbers are shrinking, they are still capturing jinchuuriki. It's better that he doesn't know about the changes, frankly even I forgot about the whole thing, and it's never confirmed on what happens to him after the arc.

Naruto's body was slowly shaking, "Damn them..." I gently pull him into a hug, knowing that if left to stew in this rage he might as well hand himself over to Kurama. Tsunade gives me a questioning gaze but I shift my eye to indicate that I'll talk with her when everyone leaves.

"Naruto… go home please… I need to speak with Tsunade-sama… you need to calm down, un." I tighten the hug somewhat before letting him go, Sakura and Sasuke followed behind him to make sure he doesn't do anything rash.

"Deidara, what happened?" Tsunade straightened herself in her chair while I take a seat across from her, "I could tell by your body language that you didn't expect this to happen."

"You're right on that bit. Sora was suppose to live, not be captured by the Akatsuki, un." She motions for me to go on, "Sora was suppose to lose all of the Kyuubi's chakra, but Naruto sealed it within him, un." I cross my arms in annoyance at the thought of anything I could change, this was one I did not want to happen.

Sure I hate Sora, but I didn't want the kid to DIE, I was banking on never hearing from him again, "If he was captured by the Akatsuki, then it was Hidan and Kakuzu… meaning the Nibi was already in the Akatsuki's hands."

"The Nibi?"

"Yugito Nii, she's the jinchuuriki. Hidan and Kakuzu capture her then attack the Fire Temple, un." I blink when Tsunade sprang from her seat and storm off to the messenger hawks, "Oh… right… the temple."

I'm losing my edge. Everything's happening so far in between each other that I'm losing track of time.

Yep, I killed Sora and gave the Akatsuki some Kyuubi chakra. I regret nothing. I tried my best to make sure that while Deidara hates Sora with a burning passion, characters like Naruto do care about him, so I am not making the world OOC just to please myself.

Now some of you might be wondering why I hate Sora… I just do. Even as a kid he reminded me too much of a bunch of self-entitled kids at my school and the fact that the arc dragged on for so long added more salt to the wound. I barely can remember this arc despite seeing it almost 3 times, the only thing I can remember are a few Naruto/Sai moments, Fuka and the time where Tsunade beats the shit out of him.

Sorry if this chapter wasn't your cup of tea. ^^"

Next chapter will have the Hidan and Kakuzu arc with Asuma and such. Hope you guys are excited for that! I promise when I do the Sanbi filler arc it will be better written, I actually love that arc (though Yukimaru is annoying in the dub) and have been looking forward to that one in particular.

As always, reviews are loved and I will see you all next week!

Bye!