Have you ever wondered what the states do when America is away at a World Meeting or something?
It's basically one gigantic country-wide house party. Minus alcohol. None of them are physically old enough for that stuff legally. Or a big sleepover with no chaperones. So things get crazy.
"Yo, bro, let's play Murder in the Dark!" NY yelled out.
"Does it involve actual murder?" Rhode Island said.
"Naw, just pretend murder!" NY reassured him.
So all the states, minus Texas, and DC agreed to play Murder in the Dark.
"OK, so pick a paper out of this bag and don't look at it yet!" NY said. Everyone took a paper. "OK, now everyone go around the house and look at the paper. Don't turn on the lights though, it has to be REALLY dark! One of us will be the murderer, and they try to kill everyone before someone sees them kill someone! Ready... GO!"
And everyone took off to random places in the house. Alaska was the murderer. However, he missed the "this is just pretend murder" part. His head filled with screams of pain as he killed people, but then he remembered that he couldn't get caught. Oh, well. He could still use those moves Russia taught him. Sneaking around, he saw a small group of three girls. He recognized them as Hawaii, California, and Florida. He thought they would be great first targets. Alaska silently walked up to the unsuspecting group and grabbed Florida from behind. He sliced open her neck before she could even react. But the other two had time to react.
California and Hawaii were screaming at the top of their lungs while California tried to hit Alaska with a random surfboard she pulled out of nowhere, and Hawaii was freaking out in fetal position, whispering to herself about no more Pearl Harbors.
"Oh, you caught me," Alaska said calmly.
The screams of two terrified states caused everyone else to come running. One look at Florida in a pool of her own blood and California attacking Alaska with a surfboard and Hawaii curled up made them believe that California was the murderer.
Meanwhile, America was giving a speech on the importance of burgers. He suddenly dropped to his knees, causing some to run to his aid and others(ahemRussiaahem) to take blackmail pictures.
They found him holding his bloodstained crotch and moaning in pain.
"America! What happened?" Britain asked.
"Florida... owwwww... she musta... been... attacked..." America groaned. Everyone turned to look at North Korea.
"Wasn't me!" He said, holding his hands up. Everyone turned to Russia.
"I did not harm America, though his pain makes me pleasure-smile."
At this point, DC teleported to America using his special Teleport to America power. "Dad! Florida was killed either by California or Alaska, we don't know which yet, because Hawaii's still traumatized, and both Cali and Alaska were fighting while we were playing Murder in the Dark, and one of them didn't know that it wasn't real murder, and-"
"Please...say she's...healing!" America slowly said.
"Oh, ummm... Hold on, lemmie check," DC said before teleporting away and teleporting back a second later.
"Yeah, her neck is healing good, and we found out it was Alaska."
Russia silently congratulated himself on his spectacular parenting techniques.