"It's time to settle this (bleeping) argument once and for all..." Dinah looked around the table at her friends. All were paying rapt attention. "No more (bleep) footing around. Cast your vote. In a fight for all the ages, who wins...Superman or Wonder Woman?"
Flash coughed, and mumbled, "There are some things that need to be clarified first..."
Dinah arched her eyebrow, "Such as?"
"Well," Flash smiled and looked at Diana. Seeing as how she was within arm's reach, he scooted his chair far enough away to give him a chance to run...expeditiously. "Before I can vote, I need to know one thing. Is it her time of the month when this fight occurs?"
Most of the table's jaws dropped and all eyes went to Diana to see how she was going to react. She sat still for a moment, and then erupted with a belly laugh the likes no one had ever heard come out of the Amazon.
The table relaxed a little and there were faint giggles heard, now that all knew it was safe. Shayera leaned over and swatted Flash's arm.
With mock indignation she chastised the other redhead, "Wally, that's (bleeping) disgusting, and irrelevant."
Wally rubbed the sore spot on his arm, and mumbled, "Says you..."
Helena piped in. "Okay, I'm not a chicken. I'll tell you what I think. And no offense intended Supes..."
The Big Blue Boy-scout smirked and nodded.
Helena continued, "There's no doubt that my girl Diana wins. One, Superman won't hit a woman. Makes the fight pretty one (bleeping) sided. Two, if he did, he still wouldn't win. Diana is fast, strong, and is an Amazon. What fighting style do they teach in Kansas? Now if it was a corn shucking contest, I'd vote for Superman all day."
Superman for his part laughed. There was no malice in the conversation, and frankly this was only a hypothetical argument.
Dinah shook her head. "That's ridiculous Helena. Superman is faster, and stronger. No offense Diana, because it's by the slimmest of margins. And you're forgetting that Superman can fight. We've all seen him do it. Superman wins."
Helena scoffed, "Please. Yes, he can fight. But Diana has been trained by the elite. And...she is older than dirt, which means she's been doing it a (bleep) of a lot longer. That has to give her the edge. She's gonna do more than throw punches. My girl is smarter than that."
Shayera chuckled, "Only you Helena would call her old in one breath and praise her in the next."
Helena shrugged and sat back.
Dinah looked at Flash, "Okay, Wally, quit being a (bleep) and vote."
"First of all, I object to being called a (bleep). I like them, and you are what you eat, but that's..."
The entire table was scrunching their faces, slightly grossed out at where Flash had just taken them.
"Nevermind..." he mumbled. "Everyone else gets to say it, but I say it, and OH NO..."
Dinah sighed, "Flash, how are you voting?"
Flash looked at Superman and then at Wonder Woman. "I guess Diana."
"You guess?" Helena asked.
"Well, I don't really believe that either would win. Someone would interfere, or one of them would pull punches in an attempt to not hurt the other. So, having said that, I vote for Diana."
Shayera shook her head, "Wally, that makes no (bleeping) sense."
Flash leaned over and whispered, "Diana can introduce me to Amazons. Superman can't. Hence, Diana wins."
With super hearing, both Diana and Superman laughed. Shayera grinned, and whispered, "Amen on that one..."
Diana suddenly stopped laughing and glared at Shayera. The Thanagarian felt the glare, and turned her attention to her Amazon. She reached over and squeezed Diana's lips together, and quickly pecked them. Instantly, Diana relaxed as Shayera pulled back and flashed her brightest smile.
Silently stewing at the end of the table, Batman finally interjected. "This is the most ridiculous conversation. (Bleeping) childish really. But I vote for Superman." And with the bold statement, he stood up and walked out.
Helena giggled, "Well, that was enlightening. So it's tied. And not surprisingly enough there are four people left to vote." Looking at those remaining, it was clear the argument was never going to be settled. There was only Lois, Superman, Diana, and Shayera left. it was going to be a tie..."Looks like we're deadlocked."
Dinah waved off the statement. "Regardless, let them go on record. Shayera?"
Helena rolled her eyes, "Oh please. She's gonna vote for Diana. She's (bleeping) her. Do you really expect her to say Superman, and get cut off?"
Diana smirked, sure of where the vote was going to go.
The Thanagarian scowled, "Well, even if I wasn't (bleeping) her as you so succinctly put it, I'd still say Diana. No one comes to mind who is more stubborn than an Amazon. Diana would win on sheer tenacity. She gets what she wants."
Diana leaned over and whispered lasciviously, "Wait until you see what I want later."
Superman blushed. Sometimes super hearing wasn't always what it was cracked up to be. Neither was X-Ray vision, as he watched as Diana slid her hand up Shayera's inner thigh, and quickly he looked away. He doubted anyone really appreciated what a Boy Scout he truly was.
Clearing his throat and trying to wipe his mind of what he had just witnessed and heard, Superman offered, "Well, I'm going to vote for myself. I have heat vision, and can freeze things with my breath. I'd like to think that gives me an advantage."
Diana kept her eyes on Shayera, "Yeah, but I have a lasso that no one can get out of. Right Shayera?"
Flash leaned over, "That's so (bleeping) hot. Is it true?"
Shayera's face was now brighter than Flash's costume. Without turning, she playfully back handed him the face and swallowed hard. She barely managed to nod. Diana's grin became massive and she sat back in her chair. "So I vote for myself."
Dinah laughed, "You two need to get a room. So gross..." She turned her attention to Lois. "Well, that just leaves you Lois. I guess we all know who you are voting for."
Lois smirked and just shrugged. "I think it would be obvious, but if you need me to say it, then, alright. I vote for Diana."
The room went silent. All jaws were agape, and Lois laughed. Superman looked at his beloved with confusion. "Diana? Really Lois? I mean you can vote however, but I just thought...well, Diana?"
Lois patted his arm to try and placate him some. "Diana has a lot of the same attributes that you do. There's speed, strength, and both of you are intelligent. And while you do have the heat vision, she can probably deflect it with her bracelets, and she would probably break out of any ice block you froze her in. It's more than obvious that you both can take a beating and keep coming. Ultimately the lasso sold it for me. If you can't get out of it, or break it, she wins." Diana grinned at Lois, who winked in response.
Lois arched her eyebrow, and openly stared at the lasso. Diana reached down and slid it across the table, smiling with understanding. Lois reached out, grabbed the rope, and then grabbed Superman's hand. "Come along sweetheart. I want you to prove me wrong. No matter how long it takes..."
Superman's eyes went wide, and he had the decency to blush, embarrassed at how bold Lois was being. But then he realized, he was the winner after all, regardless of how any vote had gone. He coughed into his free hand, and then scooped up Lois in to his arms. He flew out of the room with a speed that even Flash admired.
The remaining friends laughed uproariously. Once it had died down, Flash offered, "Seriously, how do you suppose, she, uh..."
"She what?" Diana asked.
Flash leaned in and lowered his voice. "Well, he is Superman, and he probably could, you know, ummm, do a lot of (bleeping) damage. How do you suppose she, uummm, handles that?"
Shayera shook her head and with a light tone answered, "No one (bleeping) answer that. There are some subjects that should be left alone..."
A/N: It has been so long since I added anything to this...but I thought it was appropriate to give you something else to vote on Given today is a day for voting. I know I let them fight to a draw in one of these chapters, but I thought this would at least make for a funny conversation. Let me know if you chuckled...