A/N: Hello there! I'm such a bum, I'm sorry...why haven't I updated sooner? The world may never know. But here you are! Now begins a string of absolutely absurd cameos...I'm rather embarrassed for myself, but I'm much to lazy to re-write anything. I have also FINALLY figured out how to re-activate my review alert email things, so I WILL properly respond to all reviews from this point on.

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38. We Interrupt This Program…

Piangi walked over to Passarino, who was the same rotund shape as him, but with a beard and not so much absurd makeup.

"Passarino faithful friend

Once again recite the plan"

Piangi sang in his baritone voice, putting his hand on Passarino's shoulder who sang,

"You're young guest believes I'm you

I, the master

You, the man"

Piangi gave a theatrical laugh and began to sing:

"When you met you wore my clo-"

And then, very suddenly Piangi was interrupted when out of the red and black curtain behind him, Batman strolled out. He looked around for a moment, as if he wasn't sure where he was or how he had gotten there. Then he spotted Piangi, and exclaimed, "Look at that guy's makeup! He must be the Joker!" And the caped crusader lunged at the unsuspecting opera singer. The audience was extremely confused, they didn't know whether or not this was part of the show. Most of them suspected not, and whispers began to break out.

Firmin watched in horror as the Batman and Piangi tussled. They rolled around on the stage floor for a minute before, from the same curtain that Batman had come from, the Joker sauntered out onto the stage, flanked by two men in creepy plastic clown masks. He took one look at the Batman and burst out laughing, "That whale is not me, Batsy."

Batman looked up from Piangi, gasped as he saw his archenemy, and then stood up, letting Piangi lay back on the floor and wheeze. "What are you doing here, Joker?" Batman asked in his deep voice.

The Joker grinned maniacally, showing his teeth, and replied, "You'll see. Just stay still right there for one minute, okay Batty?"

Batman didn't say anything, just stood there looking slightly skeptical. The audience and the police were all so surprised that they just sat in their chairs, watching stupefied as the Joker turned to one of his henchmen and said, "You go get her" and then pointed off into the right wing. Christine gasped in dismay as she realized that the man was headed for her, and she couldn't do anything quickly enough before he had clasped her arms together and was shoving her onstage, over to the Joker.

Erik watched in horror from his perch in the rafters as the man in the clown mask restrained Christine, and he dropped down on to the ground, graceful as a cat as he landed in a crouch. They had interrupted his opera and harmed Christine, and that made him angry. Erik waited backstage, watching to see what the Joker would do next. Batman was doing the same thing.

Meanwhile, the Joker had scanned the auditorium, looking for someone in particular. His eyes met Jim Gordon's, and he grinned even wider. He turned to the second henchman and muttered, "Go up there quickly and get the Commissioner." The man nodded, and disappeared. He was back momentarily with Gordon restrained as Christine was. The Joker observed his two captives for a moment before saying to his henchmen, "Alright, take them away." Batman and Erik watched in horror as the two men dashed off with the hostages.

The Batman stalked over to the Joker, but Erik was quicker and he darted over to the scarred man, gripping him by the collar of his shirt. "Where did you take her?" He bellowed.

The Joker grinned and laughed, "Oh we've got another one. You men in masks are always the same…so violent"

Erik snarled, about to shout at the clown some more, when Batman shoved him away and gripped the Joker by collar himself. "I've done this before, let me handle the interrogating" he said firmly to Erik, who only growled. Batman turned back to the Joker, "Where are they?" he roared.

The Joker rolled his eyes and sighed, "Relax, Batty, I'm gonna tell you where they are. Both of them. And don't worry, you should have time to rescue both of them, this time."

"Tell me where she is!" Erik cried desperately.

"Fine, fine, here you go." Said the clown. "He's at 186 Fleet Street and she's at 12343454343212343234, Avenue Z. Gosh that's a mouthful. Well? Go get them!" He exclaimed, flinging his arms in a gesture to get them moving. Erik didn't even dwell on the first familiar address, he and Batman immediately sprinted out one of the backstage doors. The Joker gave them a few seconds before he dashed after them, out the same door.

The audience was entirely stunned into silence by this, as were the performers and the orchestra and the police. Everyone just sat there, still and quiet as statues, watching the empty stage. Firmin eventually got his brain into gear and realized that the audience would soon wake up and demand entertainment, and he had to find some way to keep them subdued until Batman got back with Christine. He hadn't recognized the other man, but hopefully he would help the caped crusader rescue the opera's star.

Firmin glanced around his box for an entertainer. His eyes rested on Metallica singer Hettfeild and American Idol David Cook, and he quickly decided on Cook. He sprang up and grasped David by the shirt, dragging him out of the box. They ran down through the auditorium to the stage, and just in time too. The audience was beginning to recover from their surprised daze. Firmin pushed David Cook on to the stage, and the American Idol just looked at him in confusion. "What am I supposed to do?" he asked.

"Sing!" Firmin exclaimed.

David found a mike and music began to play, his type of modern rock fusion-y music. Hesitantly Cook sang, "I've been waiting for my dreams to turn into something I could believe in…"

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A/N: Okay, extremely embarrassed for myself, not just rather. I really liked David Cook at the time, you may notice...there's really nothing I can say in my own defense. Review, yes?