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All characters from the Twilight Saga belong to Stephenie Meyer.
I am only having a bit of fun and do not own or profit from any of
the characters/story.
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Delivered
Chapter 38
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Esme took her hand away from my shoulder and I looked up into her eyes. She looked as exhausted as I felt. I knew a lot had taken place around me while I was dealing with Bella but I had been more or less oblivious to it all.
"Are you alright?" I didn't recognize my voice. It was shaky and hollow. I was completely overwhelmed.
Esme nodded once and I noticed the thin scar that wrapped around her neck like a permanent necklace. I had been so focused on Bella and Reuben that I hadn't realized Esme had been hurt that badly.
I pulled Bella closer to my body and looked down at her. For the first time since arriving I was able to see all of her injuries. Between that and what had obviously happened to Esme, a growl automatically erupted from my chest.
"What the hell happened?" I was appalled. I traced a finger lightly along Bella's cheek. It was bruised and swollen. One eye was distorted from the abnormal size and there were streaks of blood down her face.
From where I had ripped her shirt to give myself access to her skin, I could see more discoloration. I gently lifted the hem of her shirt and hissed profanities when my eyes landed on the gruesome purple and black bruising covering her side.
Carlisle was there now, crouching beside me and cataloging Bella's injuries. "They'll heal as she changes, son." His voice was also strained, but when he looked up to meet my eyes his expression softened along with his tone. "I won't doubt you again, Jasper. You did exactly what needed to be done and I'm proud of you."
I appreciated his words, but I was too raw to accept the praise. This wasn't a good thing. This was a tragedy.
"It will be okay, Jasper." Edward said softly, addressing my thoughts.
I didn't look at him as my eyes were once again tracing Bella's battered form. I'd previously ripped her pants from cuff to thigh and in doing so laid bare more bruises. There were just so many of them.
I asked again, this time in a quieter voice. "What happened?"
When no one answered right away I tore my eyes away from Bella and glanced around the room for the first time. It was much more crowded than I had realized. Most of our family and friends were back from the clearing and this side tracked me for a brief moment.
"It's done?" I asked, looking at Benjamin.
He nodded solemnly. "It's done."
That's it? I wanted details and I knew I didn't have a lot of time before Bella started feeling the venom. If she hadn't been unconscious we'd be hearing the effects already, though in all honesty even in her sleep she could probably feel the burn. She wasn't registering it in her emotions though.
I took a steadying breath in an attempt to keep my temper in check. "Can somebody please elaborate?" Despite my efforts my voice was rising shakily with each word. "I want to know what the hell happened!"
Esme started to walk closer to me again when Carlisle stopped her with a concerned hand. "Sweetheart, you need to hunt. You won't be able to heal entirely until you've replenished your strength. Perhaps we should take care of that before we get into the details."
I felt like an ass for instantly feeling my impatience growing. Esme had been hurt and I knew she needed to hunt. I also had a feeling that she was the only one who could answer my questions.
Esme patted Carlisle's hand. "I'll be fine for a while longer, Love. I think we all need to understand what happened."
Carlisle reluctantly agreed, but didn't release his hold on her. He dropped his hand to hers and they both came closer. The others came closer as well, though I knew they'd be able to hear just fine from where they'd been. However as they gathered around I could feel the powerful love from each and every one of them as they took the opportunity to get a closer look at Bella.
Peter and Charlotte lingered longer than the others before taking a seat. The emotions coming from them were so closely matched to my own that it was hard to take. The love, protectiveness, devastation, anger, relief were some of the strongest but there was also confusion and even fear.
"You're sure she'll be alright?" Peter directed at Carlisle. "She looks so...broken."
Carlisle reached over with his free hand and rested it on Peter's shoulder. "Bella will make it through this, I'm certain of it." Carlisle paused and looked down at the woman in my arms and slowly shook his head. "She is indeed broken, but even in pieces Bella's spirit is stronger than most."
The room was quiet then as everyone seemed to fixate on the sound of Bella's slow heartbeat and on her still labored breathing.
"Why is she so quiet?" Liam asked and I noticed he was holding his arm at the elbow. There was a familiar scar running around the skin and I realized he was waiting for it to fuse.
"Yeah," Garrett added. "Shouldn't she be all over the place at this point? We all saw Jasper biting her when we came in and that was a hell of a lot of venom." He seemed to automatically rub the back of his neck where a fresh line of bites ran along the top of his spine.
I let Carlisle answer them. "It will probably get more and more uncomfortable for her the closer she comes back to consciousness. She lost a lot of blood to Reuben and even more when Jasper pulled out Reuben's venom before adding his own. She is exhausted and her body is taxed. I wish she would somehow be able to avoid the pain, but I'm certain it's only a matter of time."
Rosalie brought a blanket over and tucked it around Bella's body. Although I knew no one was focused on her exposed skin, I felt better having her wrapped up. "Thanks Rose." I kissed her cheek when she leaned down to kiss the top of Bella's head.
Rose went back to Emmett's side and I glanced at Carlisle. "Seeing as we're on a time schedule here and several people need to hunt…"
Esme looked tortured and I knew that as much as I needed to know what happened, I really didn't want to know. Carlisle circled her in his arms and pulled her back against his chest. I could see that Esme was getting her thoughts together so I remained quiet and let her think.
While I waited I tucked the blanket carefully around the side of Bella's body that was pressed against my skin. I'd lost my shirt at some point, and although she had told me that I didn't make her cold, I didn't want to take a chance. I also knew that this blanket was temporary. As soon as she started to feel the burn of my venom this blanket would be lucky to survive.
The tension in the room was thick. There was overwhelming curiosity but there was also a lot of dread.
Esme took a deep breath and when I looked at her I could see her eyes were wet, shining with venom tears that would never fall. Her eyes lowered to the ground and I could feel her shame.
Oh Esme.
I didn't want to hear her apologize for something that wasn't her fault. Edward seemed to be having a hard time with her thoughts as well and I was sure that Esme was trying to take the blame for all that had happened.
I kept my voice quiet but firm and loving. "Esme, look at me." It appeared to be physically hard for her to raise her head and meet my eyes. "This wasn't your damn fault, Esme. I don't yet know how either of you made it out of this alive, but I'm sure it took some pretty quick thinking on your part."
"He's right, Mom." Alice added. "The blame rests fully on Reuben. It wasn't your fault."
I was pleased to hear this from Alice. I'd been afraid that she would feel guilty for the incorrect visions. I couldn't be angry with her for that, and I wouldn't let her blame herself for it either.
"Reuben somehow knew our strengths and was able to neutralize them." This is just one of the questions I need answered. "None of us can shoulder the blame for something so out of our control."
I forced a small smile onto my face in an attempt to reassure Esme that I didn't blame her for anything that had happened.
The room was quiet again for the length of 47 heartbeats.
And then Esme explained what happened.
She told us how Irina had mentioned a belated Christmas gift for Bella being out in the main garage. How she had told Esme that it wasn't heavy but there were many components that needed to be carried inside. Esme, who was happy to see Irina making an effort, followed her outside to help.
Esme's voice shook when she explained that Irina led her to the back of the garage to a storage closet where she was told the present was hidden. When Irina opened the door, Esme had been totally focused on their conversation and wasn't paying attention to anything else. She had no reason to be suspicious.
When Esme explained that she was grabbed from behind by two other vampires there was a collective gasp that circled the room.
"What did Irina do?" Tanya asked, looking around the room as if she thought Irina would be sitting some where unnoticed. Her eyes widened. "Oh no. Did they…did they hurt Irina?"
The fury radiating from Esme made my jaw clench in preparation for what she would say. I could see that Esme didn't want to hurt Tanya, but there wasn't a way around it.
Esme tried to soften her voice, but the anger and resentment was clear. "No, Tanya. They didn't hurt Irina. Irina is the one that led them to us. Irina was working with them."
This time the room was silent for two heartbeats before several growls and snarls reverberated through the air. I realized that mine was the loudest.
"Bitch!" Emmett shouted. "What was she thinking?"
Tanya's family wore matching looks of betrayed shock. "H-how could she?" Tanya collapsed against Ely. His face was hard but he reached up to smooth Tanya's hair.
"Esme, please." I needed her to continue.
"Jasper, I know why all of your gifts stopped working. It was Jayson's gift."
"Jayson?" I only knew one Jayson, but it couldn't have been him. He was in Tex…"Oh shit."
Esme nodded stiffly and I felt my jaw fall open. "Jayson? As in Lauren and…" My words faded out as Esme nodded again.
"Holy damn." Emmett breathed out, just as shocked as I was. Edward's mouth was in a tight line, and I knew he'd already seen the full story in Esme's thoughts. He wasn't as surprised as the rest of us, but he was pissed.
We quickly explained who Jayson was to our friends. I was having a hard time wrapping my head around it all. Jayson?
"And it was him that had this ability to block our powers?"
"Shit. Can you say coincidence?" Emmett was stymied. "Holy revenge. That little fu…"
Esme cut off Emmett's string of curse words and continued to explain. She told us how they came back into the house and Irina and Jayson restrained her while Reuben talked to Bella. More growls accompanied her story and the tension in the room seem to grow even tighter.
I was blown away. Completely fucking blown away. It had been Reuben all along. How ironic that my mortal enemy had zeroed in on my future mate. Esme continued to fill in the gaps and every time she paused I knew she was skipping over how Reuben had hurt Bella.
Edward was getting it first hand without any editing though and he looked wild. His eyes locked on mine and I could see my reflection in his almost black eyes. If Edward looked wild, I looked like I was completely out of my damn mind.
When Esme came to the part about Reuben telling Irina to kill her, Carlisle's arms tightened around her. It was all too much.
"Bella begged Reuben to spare my life." She paused again and I knew she was editing. "When that didn't work, she pleaded with Irina to let me go. It seems that Irina had been told Reuben only wanted Bella and she was under the misapprehension that Reuben wouldn't hurt the rest of the family.
"Between Bella's pleading and Irina finally realizing what she had done, she whispered an apology to me and ran out the door. When she left, it caught both Reuben and especially Jayson off guard. I took that as my opportunity, my only opportunity."
In a quiet voice Esme explained that she had relieved Jayson of his head and tried to fight Reuben. "I'm so sorry that I wasn't fast enough or strong enough to beat him, Jasper. I tried. I really did."
If I hadn't been holding Bella in my arms I would have gotten up to hug Esme. "I already told you that it wasn't your fault, Mom. It sounds like we have you to thank for Bella's life. If you wouldn't have distracted him during that time, I'm fairly certain we would have been too late to save Bella."
The others continued to talk about what happened. They were asking Esme if she was really alright, and mostly they were talking about Irina and Jayson and their involvement in the whole scheme.
I remained quiet, still trying to come to terms with everything that had happened. Benjamin explained how they'd finished up in the clearing.
They had gathered around the closed fissure and when everyone was in place Benjamin had pealed back the earth, releasing the vampires below. As they emerged from the ground they were easily picked off and the fight was won with only a few more minor injuries.
"It was insane!" Emmett's eyes were wide and he turned to me. "You know how it looked like there was at least 30 more coming out of those woods, Jazz?" I nodded. "There weren't even close to that many." Emmett finished with a dazed look in his eyes.
"I saw them though, Em. What do you mean?"
Eleazar, who had Carmen wrapped tightly in his arms explained. "It was another gift. I've never seen anything like it. One of them had the ability to create clones but they weren't independent beings. What I mean is that once we killed the host, any clones that were made from that vampire simply vanished."
"Whoa." Peter was as surprised as I was.
"Exactly." Eleazar went on. "There were only about 10 actual vampires in that second string and all the others were copies. The clones could fight but they were very unskilled and were there for more of a diversion than anything else."
"Whoa." Peter said again.
Eleazar is able to sense and understand the gifts that others have. When he had been apart of the Volturi it had been his job to find those that were talented. He was able to gain a complex understanding just by being close to the one with the gift.
"But this brings up something else entirely." Eleazar was hesitant now. "I will explain, but you need to understand that I am not excusing what Irina has done." He looked down and met Carmen's gaze and then quickly looked around at the rest of his family before continuing in a subdued voice.
"One of the vampires I killed was also very gifted. I couldn't get a complete feel for it before I had to tear her apart, but in a nut shell she was able to control another being. Again, I can't be certain to what extent, but I am fairly sure that she was able to control actions, feelings and even thoughts." Eleazar paused to give us time to absorb what he was trying to say.
"Look, I know Irina can act like a spoiled brat but she isn't malicious and I can't believe that she was acting entirely of her own free will." Rosalie scoffed at this, but it didn't sway Eleazar. "Even Esme said that Irina's eyes weren't focused and that she seemed to be completely out of it at times. Again, I'm not condoning what Irina did, I'm only offering a possibly explanation."
"Well, where is she then?" Rosalie's voice was hard. "If this is true, when you killed that remote control of a vampire than Irina should have regained her senses. Why did she run off? Why didn't she stay to help Esme?"
Ely shook his head sadly. "You're right, Rose. There are a lot of unanswered questions. I can only say that perhaps Irina panicked. It's possible that if she was being controlled by another's gift that Irina didn't even realize what was happening."
"Rose," Carlisle's voice was gentle but I could feel his pain. "Eleazar has offered a possibly explanation and although we won't know the entire truth until we find Irina I think we owe it to our family to give her the opportunity to explain."
"So we need to find her. The sooner the better." Emmett agreed with his wife and I was certain that he only wanted to find her to prove Irina knew exactly what she was doing.
Edward nodded once to let me know I was correct in my assumption.
"We'll go." Little Maggie stood up and motioned to the rest of her Coven. "We'll go right now and bring her back."
Liam and Siobhan joined her and Maggie looked over at Tanya with kind eyes. "We won't hurt her, Tanya. You have our word."
Liam walked forward to Tanya's family and laid his hand briefly on each of them. "We'll bring her home safely and give her the chance to explain." He said sincerely.
Benjamin decided to join them as well and as he was leaving with the others he reached out to shake several hands. He got to Emmett and stretched out his right hand. Emmett paused and instead brought his left hand forward and shook Benjamin's hand in an awkward back-way fashion.
Benjamin raised an eyebrow and Edward laughed. It was the first emotion to cross the room that wasn't stressed and I grabbed onto it like it was a fresh breath of air.
"What are you doing, Em?" Benjamin asked. Edward was still chuckling.
Emmett was embarrassed, but he was also pretty pissed. I noticed that Rosalie was trying to hide a smile as well.
"Just show them, Grizz." She said while placing a hand on Emmett's chest.
Emmett sighed and grumbled under his breath, "Fucking newborns." And when he brought his right hand out from behind his back, even I wanted to laugh. Instead I pulled an increasingly uncomfortable Bella closer into my arms and smiled wryly at my biggest brother.
"How are you gonna flip people off now, Em?" Peter chuckled seeing Emmett's hand.
"Screw you!" Emmett pouted and quickly flipped Peter off with his left hand. "I can still flip you off. The other one still works just fine, Jerk."
Emmett was missing most of his middle finger. "What happened, Emmett?" Esme asked with concern but was also hiding a smile of her own.
Emmett sighed again dramatically and kicked the side of the couch lightly. "One of those little shits bit my finger off. I looked everywhere but I couldn't find it. I think…well, I think it might have gotten tossed into one of the fires with all the other pieces."
Garrett snorted and Alice giggled. Emmett's head darted to Alice. "Hey, did you see where it went, Ali?" He was hopeful.
She shook her head trying to look remorseful. "Sorry, Bro."
You can always count on Emmett for some comic relief, even if he isn't the one laughing. The tension in the room was cut in half. Though the situation was still very serious it seemed I wasn't the only one clinging to the small bit of humor like it was a life vest.
The laughing started to taper off and it was possible, at least for me, to feel the stress settling back over the room like a blanket. I could feel Bella's discomfort rising and I knew I needed to get her upstairs.
I carefully stood up, making sure to keep Bella secure in my arms. The laughter came to a complete halt now as everyone fell silent. I answered their unspoken concern.
"Yes, she's starting to feel it. I want to get her upstairs and get her as comfortable as I can."
They all nodded once in unison and I could feel all of their grief.
Alice was suddenly by my side, running her fingers down the side of Bella's face that wasn't as bruised. "It's going to start getting bad, Jasper."
"Soon?" I asked, already knowing the answer.
"Soon."
Carlisle and Esme came to kiss Bella's sweaty forehead. Esme brushed the hair back from Bella's damp skin and looked like she was going to stay when Carlisle insisted she needed to hunt. "We'll be back to help soon. And Jasper, don't forget that you need to hunt as well."
"I won't leave her, Carlisle."
"We'll figure something out. Take care of Bella while we're gone."
Rosalie and Charlotte also needed to hunt, but insisted on accompanying me upstairs to help get Bella settled first.
We were making our way to the stairs when I stopped and turned back to Peter and Edward.
"What did you do with Reuben and Jayson?"
They looked at each other briefly before Peter responded. "We're saving them for her. Well, for both of you really. Go take care of our Bella and we'll cover everything else."
He tried to smile at me. "When she wakes up, we'll have one hell of a barbeque."
BPOV
I knew something had happened. I knew that Reuben had been killing me. I knew I had been dinner. What I didn't know is where I was now.
It was so cold and so dark. Where was I?
If Reuben had killed me, was I in some sort of Limbo? If he had been stopped and I was still alive but full of his venom wouldn't I be burning right now?
Reuben's venom.
I was having a hard time holding onto the facts. Actually, 'Facts' is too strong of a word. I was having a hard time holding on to the possible situations.
I didn't feel like I was connected to my body any longer. I couldn't feel my arms, my legs or even my head.
But I was so cold.
This is what made me think I must be dead. If I was alive and this cold I would be shivering and I can't even feel my body.
I try to look around, but I have no eyes. I try to feel my way, but I have no fingers.
I hope I'm dead. Even if this is some sort of Purgatory and even if I'm on my way to the depths of hell, I hope I'm dead.
I can't go through eternity with Reuben's venom inside of me.
I can't look at Jasper every day knowing he must see me differently because of what runs through my veins.
I would shudder from the thought of having Reuben as my 'Creator' but I have no nerves.
And worse than that, I don't know if any of my family is still alive.
Surely if Jasper had made it out with his life he would have stopped Reuben.
Reuben? Wait. Who? Right, that's right…Reuben.
No, it would be better to be dead.
So cold.
So dark.
And the longer I'm here in this cold, dark nothing the harder it is to remember.
Even if I'm dead I must remember Jasper.
If I'm stuck in some in-between dimension for centuries, still I must remember him.
I wondered about how long I had been here in the cold and in the dark.
But there is no time.
Still I must think about him so I remember.
Remember? What was I trying to remember?
Jasper. Yes, Jasper.
If this is hell, or heaven, or limbo I must remember Jasper.
So dark.
So cold.
And then I wonder…do I believe in reincarnation? Did I die? Am I being remade?
Is that what this sensation is? This floating, dark nothingness?
A womb?
Surely not. If that were true, I would be warm.
I know I'm going crazy. I'm losing my mind but I have no mind to lose.
The minutes, the hours; They all tick by.
Or forget the minutes or hours. Perhaps I am still in the first seconds?
And I float...
Or fly...
Or exist.
What ever this is called. What ever this sensation is.
I tried to think, but I had no mind.
But then I felt something.
I didn't know where the sensation was originating from or how long it had been there.
It started as a tingle but quickly grew to a more annoying tickle.
I would say it happened fast but I had no semblance of time to go by.
Regardless of the time passed I knew I didn't like this feeling.
It grew and twisted and then I became aware of my legs.
I tried to wrench my toes away from the new feeling but they didn't move.
I had my legs back, and I could feel them but I couldn't move them.
All other attempts at thought left me then.
I remembered nothing of why I was here, or even of who I was.
My entire being was focused on the growing sensation as it started to burn.
I became aware of my of my body, but now I longed for the numb.
I longed for the numbness as this invisible flame gripped around me like a python.
I tried to scream, but I had no voice.
It crept higher and higher.
The dark remained.
The cold was gone.
The flame licked at my skin and penetrated down through muscle to bone.
How did it change so quickly?
I longed for the cold.
As quickly as I had become aware of my legs, in the same way I now felt my fingers.
I felt them burning.
The flesh being charred.
The muscle withering in the flame.
The bone melting.
It was agony.
I tried to curl my body into a ball. It was an attempt at self-preservation, but I couldn't move.
And now I could feel my head as every hair was singed.
I squeezed my eyes shut but it didn't help. As soon as I felt my eyes return, I felt them ignite in the fire.
I writhed in my stillness.
I thrashed in the silence.
I had never been so aware of my body.
My lungs
My kidneys
My liver
All engulfed in the raging inferno.
Was there no one to come to my rescue?
Could no one see that I was being burned alive?
The time was never ending.
At some point I realized that the pounding that seemed to be like a metronome to the flames was actually my heart.
How could it still be beating? How could I still be alive through all of this?
And of course, even with my brain having long been consumed in the burning heat, I knew this was Hell.
I didn't understand how there was anything left to burn.
The fire would race through my body and when it reached the other side it would start again.
My back arched as I felt the flames flicker down my spine.
I moved. I felt my spine as it was turned into smoldering ash, but I had moved.
As the fire spread again I realized my writhing agony was no longer still.
The burning was no longer quiet as finally my scream broke through the silence.
The fire raced through the canals of my veins, making sure no part of my body was left unharmed.
It began to change then and I felt a cool breeze across my toes.
The cool relief seemed to be putting out the fire.
Finally someone had saved me though I feared it was too late. There would be nothing left.
And then, as I hoped that the fire was being extinguished, I realized I was wrong.
The fire wasn't being doused, no. The fire was being corralled.
From my feet, my hands, my head I felt the flames move leaving a coolness that would be pleasant if I could focus on it.
My heart sped up to a dangerous rate because my heart knew the fire was coming for it.
All through my body the cold was pushing the fire toward the center of my body.
It raced through what was left of my veins and when the fire reached my heart, it exploded.
My body couldn't contain this force. The heat, the pain, and still the dark.
It was too much.
The pounding of my heart seemed to overshadow everything but still the fire shot through the center of my chest. Faster and faster it swirled into a tighter coil of flame.
My heartbeat had become one singular note; too fast to distinguish individual beats.
Again my back arched as the fire seemed to be lifting me away.
And then all was quiet.
And all was calm.
The fire was almost gone but it was still dark.
The flames had moved from my chest to my throat.
I was so…thirsty.
And then I could feel my mind changing.
It was like a kaleidoscope; moving and growing and turning.
I could feel myself reaching out.
My mind stitched itself back together in its new form.
The information came rushing back to me.
There were details I hadn't even realized I was missing.
Stitch
The how.
Stitch
The why.
Stitch
The where.
Stitch
The Who.
And then I heard the voice. The rich, velvet voice that I would always want to hear, and that I would always answer.
"Open your eyes, Darlin."
Thanks for the reviews!
Sorry in advance for the long A/N
I had originally planned on skipping over the whole 'changing' stuff but in the end decided that I wanted the challenge. I took myself back to the worst pain I'd ever felt and I drew off of that. It ended up being really hard for me to write. I'm sure some will have mixed feelings about it, but I would love to hear what you think.
Also, in response to a couple of reviews…I have no intention of abandoning this story. Last week was a week where I was able to update twice in two days, and this week was one where I only got one chapter up in 7 days. I work more than full time and I'm a mom, so I can't always write every day. But I promise I will finish this story. I try to update at least once a week and for the most part I have…just not all the time. Trust me, you'll know when the story is finished. ;-)
And finally, thank you so much for all the AMAZING reviews! I had more reviews on the last chapter than I have on any other chapter before. I haven't responded to them as fanfic didn't let me into my account consistently until today. So I apologize for that but please know that I read each one and appreciate it SO much.
Thanks again!
-Jules