Chapter 37: Light from Darkness
Gird yourselves. We're taking a ride on the Emo coaster. Happy New Year and much love to all of you.
If anyone has a link to Rob Pattinson singing the full song (not the Twilight version), please send it to me. Source: elyrics dot net/read/r/robert-pattinson-lyrics/let-me-sign
Quotations/references:
"she being Brand," by e.e. cummings
"The Darkness," by Lord Byron
"She Walks in Beauty," by Lord Byron
"Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban," screenplay by Harry Kloves
"Twilight," chapters 12-14, by Stephenie Meyer
Our music:
"All You Need is Love," by the Beatles
"Let Me Sign," by Rob Pattinson
"Scientist," by Brendan Ryan (Brendan was taught by a friend of mine and I adore him. Please subscribe to his channel and join him on Facebook)
It is the summer of my smiles - flee from me Keepers of the Gloom.
Speak to me only with your eyes. It is to you I give this tune.
~"The Rain Song," by Led Zeppelin
o~o~0~o~o
Wednesday, March 12th, 2004, 7 AM:
The Cullen House
I ruffled my wet head with a thick velour towel and unlatched my closet door.
"Dress comfortably. No, not the blue," Titch told me at vampire pitch. She was in Bella's retreat feeding some kind of bugs to Junior.
"You know, it's really hard to dress appropriately when you tell me Bella's going to decide our plan for the day but you won't tell me the plan," I said, nice as pie.
"You'll love it. Stop whining! Black t-shirt! Wear your boots, black jeans and the pea coat." She was watching the oiled bodies of the Village People sing Macho Man in her head. It was unbearable.
"Anything else?" I stepped into my jeans and zipped the fly.
"You can… indulge your temper a little, just don't kill anybody."
My heart leapt into my throat. I nearly fell over while putting on my socks. "What?"
"You may have a chance to put Hudson in his place." I could stand to see him bruised.
My mood improved drastically. "What do I have to decide in order for that to happen?" I pushed hangers around in my closet, looking for the vintage denim shirt I wanted.
"Not you, Bella."
"Aargh!" I pinched my eyes shut. "Do you realize how annoying it is when you won't tell me straight out what we ought to do?" As I finished buttoning my shirt I checked around for anything I might need, and grabbed my wallet and phone.
"All you have to do is ask. Nicely."
"Hah, right! I'm the Emo ping pong ball to your sadistic racket!"
My sister was sitting on Bella's futon with Junior perched on her hand. "I told you to wear the black t-shirt."
"I'm wearing it! Under the denim."
"You'll be sorry. Well, I am tired of that shirt."
"Alice!"
Titch was carefully stroking Junior's head with the pad of her finger. "I wouldn't be cryptic on purpose to upset you."
I stuffed my hands in my pockets and leaned against the doorjamb. "You lie like a rug."
Alice stuck her nose in the air. "Just for that, I'm not telling you anything else, cranky pants."
Shutting my eyes, I gritted my teeth. "Is Bella going to get hurt because of that decision?"
"Of course not," she said, refusing to look at me. "Stubborn," she muttered.
"May I have Junior, please?"
Alice held the little lizard close to her chest. "No. You can't take him out today. He'll get too cold."
"Have a nice day," I growled, heading downstairs and through the door into the garage.
"Edward?"
"What, Titch!"
"You're going to have a lovely day. Is there a blanket in your trunk?"
I liberated a thermal sleeping bag from one of the storage cabinets and tossed it into my back seat. "Good enough?"
"Yes. Grocery store."
"Okay! Huh?"
"Grocery store. You need to go to the grocery store."
I shut my eyes, feeling tension dissipate. "Thank you."
Love you, My Kindred. She hardly ever said it out loud; it was too hard for her despite the fact that she knew I would say it back.
"Love you, too, Titch."
In the car, I formulated plans for action, should I have the ability to confront Hudson. I assumed he would attack me. Given the mercurial nature of his temper, I was pretty sure that meant he would phase, not lob a swing at me. Somehow, I would have to immobilize him so he couldn't use his teeth on me. I imagined several possible angles of attack and decided how I would calmly thwart each one. That way, I wouldn't have to spend so much time considering my actions, should a fight erupt.
When I arrived at Bella's, Charlie and the cruiser were already absent, and the front door was unlocked. Bella was singing in the lavatory, so I made myself comfortable in her room, smiling at her enthusiastic massacre of All You Need is Love. I opened one of her boxes of books and perused the contents. To my surprise, I found a small first edition of poetry by e.e. cummings, inscribed To Marie with love from Bill. Bella's grandparents. Taking the book up in my hands, I sprawled out on the bed and indulged my brain. "Whew… Pretty sensual stuff," I murmured.
Yeah, I suppose for the sake of propriety I should have put it back, but there were a couple of poems in there that I hadn't read before, and I liked the poet. When one can't forget anything one reads, one tends to become a bit choosy. The only trouble was, the last time I'd read cummings, I'd skipped right past the sex. This time, I totally got the point.
After a bit, the door to the washroom snicked open, Bella padded into her room and locked her door.
"Good morning," I said softly, intent upon absorbing the last sexy lines of she being Brand before Bella could catch me at it.
Gasping, she threw herself back against the door, rattling it, and we locked eyes. Bella rapidly turned the colour of a very ripe red plum. The colour infusion started at the edge of the extremely inadequate towel wrapped around her, and crept right into her hairline. Bella patted the vintage white toiletry case she was carrying as though she were checking it was still there. It was about the size of a toaster, hard-backed and covered in varnished burlap. If it was anything like the ones my sisters and mother used, prior to 1978, to house their curlers, it would be lined in satin with a mirror in the lid and a tray to hold cosmetics.
Checking that her assets were covered, Bella squeaked a greeting. "Hi! I, um, d-didn't realize you were here."
"S-s-sorry," I managed to tell her. Did I turn my gaze away? Um, hello! Reprobate, here.
(Well, I'd already seen her dressed in nothing but a wet pair of panties and her hair, which offered a lot less coverage than the measly towel, so why get all het up about it?)
Bella cleared her throat and hurried to her closet. "I forgot my robe."
"Ah."
She reached up on tiptoe –attempting to place her toiletry case on the shelf of the closet- and her towel rode up at the back, giving me a glimpse of things I wasn't supposed to see. My cock pushed uncomfortably against the zipper of my jeans. Venom flooded my mouth and I forgot everything Bella and I had discussed about abstinence. I had a new plan. First, I would kneel behind her, coax her to allow me access and then I'd feast on every mouth-watering secret she possessed. At her moment of climax, I'd inject venom into Bella's femoral arteries and before she even knew what hit her, I'd be cooling the burning with my most sensitive skin. My muscles coiled, I crept toward my mate.
She gave the case a gentle nudge onto the shelf and turned to look at me. Her eyes flared wide and the case teetered and crashed to the floor. Something inside it began to buzz madly. I stared at it and frowned.
Completely distracted from my plans, I reached for the case. "Was this thing your grandmother's? The construction is sure solid. They don't make stuff like they used to anymore."
"No!" Bella yelped. No, Edward! I'm not ready.
Clearing my throat, abandoning my nefarious plans and beating Mr. Ed's protests down with a virtual club, I reached for Bella's case again. "What on earth is-?"
She snatched it up and held it to her chest. "It's my toothbrush," she blurted, flushing rosy again.
I blinked. "I didn't know you had an electric toothbrush."
My mate gnawed her lip. "Batteries. I don't generally use it. Don't like it. Much."
"Oh." I frowned at the case. "Aren't you going to shut it off?"
Bella turned redder than ever. "Um…" I put my fingers on the brass clasp and unhooked it, but Bella snatched the case away. "I'll just take this to the washroom. No reason for me to keep it in here."
I placed my hand on top of the case and Bella froze, staring up at me as though she was about to be eaten for breakfast. In a bad way. "It's only a toothbrush," I said. "No reason for you to leave the room."
My mate gulped. "Um, right." I began to slowly tip up the lid, a lush scent drifted out of the box and she smashed it closed, nearly catching my fingers. I felt my lip tip up.
"What are you hiding in there, Isabella Marie?"
Clutching her case, she literally ran around me and shut herself in the bathroom. "Girly stuff."
"Really." If I were a betting man (and I was), I would bet my girl had some sort of fantasy material in that toiletry case. Something she considered porn-worthy. After all, I had things like that of my own. Was there lube in there? Some photos? I really wanted to find out!
The buzzing stopped. "Edward?"
"Yes, my love?"
"Keep your hands off of my box!"
I was turning into Emmett. "But I want to touch your box. I want to learn all your feminine secrets." The bathroom door whipped open. I wiped the smile off my face and regarded Bella with very fake innocence. "Why won't you show me what-"
Bella's eyes flashed. "Edward!"
I blinked. "What?"
She gnashed her teeth and regarded me angrily. "Would you mind making me breakfast while I get dressed? There are muffins in the freezer. Nuke one for me for 40 seconds and butter it, please?"
I brought her hand to my lips and placed a tender kiss there. "Your wish is my command." Did I dare? Of course I dared! "I would love to butter your muffin."
My mate looked at me uncertainly. She really was terribly naïve sometimes. Either that, or she believed me a complete innocent.
As I turned to go downstairs, it did not escape my notice that Bella whisked her toiletry case back into her bedroom. She had something really good in there, and I resolved that on that very night, I would find out what it was.
o~o~0~o~o
I buttered a second double chocolate muffin for my mate and placed it carefully on her dish. "So… We only have a few more days of freedom. What would you like to do today?"
Bella licked her fingers. Surreptitiously, I pushed Mr. Ed down. For a guy who had spent more than 86 years wishing he was just like everyone else, I found myself too often wishing that Mr. Ed would take a little break from embarrassing me. I really didn't like spending so much time coming up with repulsive ideas to calm the bugger down.
Charlie and Renee having sex. Mission accomplished.
"I'd like to do something outdoorsy since it's so mild today," Bella said.
"Would you like to go to the Port and watch ships come in?" I suggested. "Eat lunch out and do a bit of shopping?"
Bella's skin pinkened. She peeked at me from under her lashes. "Actually, there's something I'd prefer to do, if you don't mind."
"Why would I mind?"
Bella turned more pink. "I'd like to go to the Meadow."
"The Meadow," I repeated. "My Meadow?"
Bella turned her face away from me. "Forget it."
"Hey." I touched the back of her hand and grasped it. "I would love to show you the Meadow, but won't you be bored? There's nothing much to do except rest."
"We could take a book, or a Frisbee or something. Unless it's going to be all deep mud."
"No, actually, the spring flowers will be waking up. With any luck, it's covered in crocuses and hyacinths. Maybe even a few tulips. And the greenest grass you've ever seen."
"Really?"
"Yes. Shall we go?"
"Yes, please!"
"Okay, but it's quite far. We should pack you a picnic and plenty to drink."
Bella bit her lip. "I'm out of bread for sandwiches."
"Then, we can go to the store on our way."
"Great!" Bella hopped up and went to the back door, off the kitchen, which had a small vestibule where Charlie stored his fishing tackle. Bella rummaged in the corner under various boots and clogs and emerged with a small red cooler chest. She opened it and recoiled. "Bleh!"
I exhaled and slapped my hand over my face. "Shut it, please!"
Bella chucked the cooler back in the corner. "I don't suppose he washed that all winter."
I grimaced. "Another reason not to eat the fish."
"Yeah." She hurried to the sink and washed her hands.
"We'll pick something up. Let's get started."
"Okay."
In no time at all, we were strolling down the aisles of the Thriftway –somewhere I'd never been in my entire existence, obviously. To date, Esme had done all the household shopping. Prior to Bella, we'd bought a lot of canned goods so we could later donate them to shelters and food banks.
Bella compared some clamshell packages in the deli case containing cheeses and fruits. She made her selection and placed her lunch in the plastic basket I was carrying.
"You'll need something more substantial than that," I warned her.
Bella wrinkled her nose. "Maybe I'll get a pastry."
"That's a good idea."
"I think I'll get a pack of cinnamon buns, okay? Extra for snack time and one for me and Charlie for breakfast tomorrow. Would you mind going to the cooler and getting me some sweet tea and some water?"
I sniffed the air but didn't detect any threats. "Sure." I marched to the far side of the store and added a couple of cans of tea and a bottle of water to the basket. And then all my hackles went up. I smelled the stench of Wolf.
A cheerful young woman was also searching the aisles. For Hudson. Stepping around her, I hurried toward Bella and found my mate striding toward me, down the pop aisle, eyes fixed upon the floor. Paul Hudson was in her personal space wearing nothing but his black shorts, ratty sneakers and a nasty grin.
"Is he bothering you?" I demanded.
Bella tucked her hair behind her ear. "Um."
Hudson crossed his arms. "Well, this is one place I never thought I'd see a tick."
"Did he touch you?" I Saw, in Hudson's mind, that he had delivered a sharp pinch to her backside. I gave him a scathing look.
Bella wouldn't look at me. "It's really not a big deal."
It was a very big deal.
I handed my car keys and the basket of food to my mate, and took money from my wallet. "Love, Rachel Black is in the store. Will you kindly check out, put your things in the car, then find her and tell her to meet her Imprint behind the store in a few minutes?"
Bella blinked rapidly. "Edward!"
"Nothing to worry about."
"Don't we need to buy a-" Bella began shakily.
"No, we'll stop in elsewhere."
"Okay." Tucking her chin, she hurried to the cash desks.
Hudson looked me up and down and sneered. "I don't need to meet Rachel outside, leech."
"Technically, you're not meeting Rachel outside. I'm calling you out."
He flinched. "What?"
I strolled toward the exit, counting on his temper to rise. "I suppose you're too much of a coward to fight me when your posse's not around."
But… Yeah! I'm getting my chance!
"Hah!" He caught up with me. "You think this is gonna be over in five minutes? I've been waiting for this for a long time! I hope you're ready to burn in hell."
I rolled my eyes. "Frankly, it's hard to feel threatened by a kid who doesn't have the manners to wear a shirt indoors." I exited the building, took off my pea coat so my movement wouldn't be hampered, and walked around the back. I dropped my coat on the ground.
"Who are you calling a kid? I'm twenty-eight. You're the kid!"
There wasn't sufficient privacy anywhere. Except the roof. I didn't think they'd have cameras on the roof. Flexing my knees, I leapt straight up. Hudson jumped, grabbed onto the edge of the roof and levered himself up after me. I governed my urge to run and mapped his planned trajectory.
Hudson burst out of his shorts and ran at me. I caught him by the throat mid-phase, my thumbnail easily stabbed through his skin, and I slammed him to the concrete. His putrid blood spattered on my arm and shirt.
Oh, shit shit shit shit! With only his head, hands and feet in Kwoli form, he looked remarkably like a Hollywood werewolf. Hudson melted back down into human form, eyes wide with shock. He was pinned to the ground and I was only really using my thumb to do it.
"Now," I lectured him, kneeling at his side. "Let me explain something to you."
Never monologue, leech. That's how villains lose.
He twisted away and I pushed his shoulder back, making him yelp.
"Vampires may not be as fast as Kwoli Ute, but we are clever and agile. We made the Treaty for your benefit. There will be no more fighting. Is that understood?"
Since I had my thumb hooked around the back of his trachea, it wasn't like he could answer properly.
"What would you do if someone were threatening and harassing Rachel?" I demanded.
Impotent tears filled his eyes. I knew these ticks were evil. Now it'll kill me and then it'll do whatever it wants to my mate. I can't even go Wolf to warn my brothers.
"I have no wish to harm you or Rachel, Paul Hudson. I just want you to realize that if I had wanted to, I would have killed you a long time ago. Before Bella came along, you were no more than an irritating insect. The only reason I'm responding to you now is that your bad behaviour toward Bella is escalating."
He struggled to speak but I shushed him. "I read minds, so just use your brain to talk to me." His Adam's apple bobbed and he fought to break my hold. "Resist me and I will have to hurt you."
He doesn't call this hurt?
"Come, now! You aren't badly hurt. The damage I've done you is minimal. If you don't do anything rash you'll be good as new in a few minutes and on your way."
Hudson started to hyperventilate. Apotampkin is terrible! They're all terrible. The Cullens are going to kill us all! Everyone I love!
He tried to wriggle away from me but I wouldn't let him go. "Paul! I don't want to hurt you or Rachel or anyone else so stop being an idiot. Now it's time to discuss this and if the only way I can get you to talk to me is to immobilize you, then I will."
Fucking tick! They're all liars. The tribe is doomed.
"Bullshit. If you love the Quileute, stop behaving contrary to their interests."
Their interests? I can't believe what I'm hearing!
"Peace. I want peace. And I want to know why you go out of your way to be so obnoxious. Why are you so hell bent on harassing me? Why would you threaten my mate?"
Because it's a way to get to you.
I shook my head. "You're frightening an innocent. The kind of feud you're promoting won't leave either of our families intact." I was getting exasperated. "How would you like it if I used Rachel to get to you?"
I would hate it, but I would expect it from you.
"Why?"
You're Apotampkin.
"Are all humans good, then?"
Of course not.
"Then why does it follow that all vampires have to be bad?"
Your thumb is where right now?
"Well, I could have crushed your windpipe instead of having this lovely conversation." How should I best proceed? "When you touched Bella, I wanted to kill you."
He flushed and began to shake, vacillating between fear and fury. Sorry. He seemed to think it was because he had violated my property.
"It's not because I'm possessive, it's because I love Bella and you disrespect and frighten her. Is it going to happen again?"
I don't know. I have a bad temper. I'm afraid and I'm getting really mad.
I sighed. "If I let you up, are you going to run away or try to fight me, or will you finish this discussion?"
Not sure.
"Then I can't let you up. Tell me why you singled me out."
You're smaller and younger than the others.
"Okay. And why won't you honour the Treaty when all your pack brothers are? Even Embry has stopped being unpleasant."
They shouldn't trust you. Nobody should trust you.
"While I'm aware that trust is earned, we have done nothing to merit your distrust and your leaders have ordered you to leave us in peace. Why don't you let us alone?"
Tears trickled from the corners of his eyes. I'm the oldest. I should be the Alpha.
I frowned, slipped my thumb from his wound and put pressure on the small gash, which was barely even bleeding. "What does that have to do with it?"
I know the stories better. Sam might be a Uley, but so was my mother and I listened to Grandfather's stories a lot more than he did. But when you Cullens showed up here we phased at the same time and Billy chose Sam because his father is a direct descendant. And then Sam fucked up Emily and screwed over Leah but they say I'm the one with the bad temper. Fucking bullshit.
"I'm sorry."
You caused this!
"We would undo your suffering if we could, but we can't. Any attempt to make amends has been rejected by your leaders. But don't you like being a Wolf Warrior?"
Sometimes. And there's Rachel. But she goes back to Hawaii on Sunday and it really sucks being here without her.
The slit on Paul's throat was almost healed. I sat back and placed my hands in my lap. Paul touched the scar tentatively. Billy, Old Quil and Harry don't know shit.
"I'm sorry for hurting you. I didn't know how else to prevent the fight from escalating."
He didn't respond; he was still sore at me.
"Why is Rachel going back to Hawaii?"
"She's in school. She wants to be a lawyer," he rasped.
"That's excellent. Why aren't you with her?"
"I can't afford it."
"Jeez Louise! This is exactly what I'm talking about! Why are people so fucking obsessed with money? Weather doesn't bother you, right? You could swim there in a day, probably, and live on one of the less habitable parts of one of the islands, live off of fish… What's the issue here?"
"I tried it."
"And?"
"The natives came after me. I think they wanted to throw me in a volcano or something. There was nowhere to hide; every time I moved to a new place, they found me."
I shook my head. "So, what's your plan, then?"
Paul grimaced. "I'll wait until Rachel is done school. When I've saved enough money, we'll get married and we'll pick a place to live that's safe for both of us."
"Are you going to stop phasing?"
I don't know. "I wouldn't be able to protect the tribe."
"There are already plenty of Kwoli to protect the tribe, considering none of the Cullens intend to harm you and if any Trads show up, we'll be protecting the humans, too."
Trads?
"Traditionals. They're your Apotampkin."
I wish I'd never been born into this. I wish you didn't exist. You shouldn't exist.
"It's a moot point," I argued softly. "I do exist."
He watched me with undisguised hatred. "Fuck that."
Sighing, I rubbed the back of my neck. "How much money do you need?"
He shook his head, nonplussed. "Why?"
"How much?"
He gritted his teeth, rose and stepped away from me. "I'm not taking your filthy blood money, leech."
"It's not blood money. I worked for it."
"Doing what?" he scoffed.
"Working on docks, fishing, managing crops, farming, tutoring people, giving piano lessons, repairing mechanical equipment, factory work, mining… all sorts of odd jobs. My sister invested it for me."
"I don't believe you."
"Of course you don't. But I would like to give you this olive branch. I have plenty of money. Let me help you."
He gave me a filthy look. "I'm doing just fine on my own. You're evil. Stay away from me." He got up and fled.
"Stay away from my mate," I murmured, "and there won't be an issue." I rose and peered over the back of the roof. Seeing no one, I jumped to the ground, retrieved my coat and walked casually around to the front of the building. Hudson was tugging an argumentative Rachel to his old white station wagon. She was shouting hysterically about the blood on his chest. Bella was leaning against the hood of the Volvo, hugging herself and biting her lip. I joined her.
"Are you hurt?" she hissed.
"Pfft."
"What happened?" Bella grabbed my wrist and held out my arm. "The two of you look like you walked out of a Michael Bay movie."
I scrunched my nose. "Please tell me you don't like Texas Chainsaw." I undid the buttons on my favourite denim shirt and sighed. The odour would never come out.
Bella blinked. "Why?"
"It makes us thirsty." I shook my head. "Especially Jasper. Watching slasher flicks is kind of like you watching the Food Network."
"Edward! Don't change the subject."
I lifted a shoulder. "Paul Hudson is unhappy here. He ought to be with Rachel in Hawaii but he can't afford to live there and he won't take any help from me. At any rate, we've had our discussion and hopefully he will be smart enough to stay away from you."
"And if he isn't?"
"I'll call Billy."
Bella gaped at me. "You'll call Billy?"
"He's your uncle, isn't he?" I drooled venom onto my arm and wiped up Paul's blood with my denim shirt. With a sigh, I wadded up my shirt and tossed it in the trash bin near the store entrance. Dammit, why did I bet against Alice? After inspecting my hands, I put on my coat, crooked my elbow and escorted Bella into Newtons' Sporting Goods.
"Heyyyy, Bella and Edward!" Mike said, marching over to give me one of the strange secret handshakes that young men seemed to favour. "S'up?"
"We're going on a hike and we need something in which to carry our picnic food."
"Picnic, eh?" He hummed, inspecting my boots. "Nice boots. But Bella's Converse?"
"Oh." Her lashes fluttered. "No, no really, I'll be fine."
I frowned. "Mike's right. You can't hike in those, you'll hurt the bottoms of your feet."
Bella gave me the hairy eyeball. "I was under the impression that we wouldn't be walking very far," she said archly.
"Bouya," Mike said with a smirk. Lying to Cop-dad about going on a hike. Wonder what they're actually going to be doing! "Do you need a picnic blanket?"
"No, we already have one," I said, attempting not to smirk back.
We left the store after 20 minutes with new hiking boots for Bella, a backpack with compartments for food, dishes and cutlery, and two thermoses filled with complimentary hot chocolate.
"I can't believe-!" Bella began.
"Keep up the charade," I purred in her ear.
o~o~0~o~o
We followed Highway 110 until the pavement ended, and I pulled the Volvo off into the trees. "Are we there?" Bella asked eagerly.
"No, we have about five miles to go. On foot. At least, I will be on foot and you will be getting a free ride."
"I can't wait to see it," Bella murmured as I helped her out of the car. "Which way is it?"
"Guess," I urged, wrapping my arms around her. She looked out into the thick forest, scouting for clues.
"I don't see any trail."
"There isn't one."
"That way?" she asked after a moment, pointing toward the south-east.
"Sorry, sweetheart. North-east. Shall I carry you?"
"Okay." She handed me the picnic backpack, which contained the food, the thermoses and the blanket. I strapped it onto my chest and bent my knees.
"Up you go, Spider Monkey." I levered Bella onto my back, and she clung like one, placing a kiss on the juncture of my shoulder and neck.
"You know I hate it when you call me that."
Laughing, I ran through the trees, enjoying the soft green light of the canopy above, the weight of my warm mate on my back, and the feel of moss under my feet. The birds were out in full force, their jaunty songs lending music to our journey. In no time at all, we had travelled the five miles to The Meadow.
"Edward? I need a human moment."
I stopped at the forest's edge, and sniffed cautiously for threats. Nothing. We were alone under the sun, save for birds and small forest creatures. "Okay." I set my Heart on her feet.
"What if I get lost?"
"Just call for me, and I'll come."
But Bella did not get lost because she didn't go far. I'm proud to say I was a perfect gentleman; despite my curiosity, I did not spy on her while she took care of her needs. It was not easy.
Bella returned to me and we stepped onto spongy green grass teeming with white, yellow and purple crocuses and hyacinths, hand in hand. "What do you know," I drawled. "Flowers, rainbows and unicorns." I looked sidelong at my mate, admiring the light I repelled dancing upon her skin.
"Unicorns? Where!" Bella's head whipped around as though she actually expected to see one. My lip quirked up.
"Sorry, I lied. Rainbows and vampires."
Bella poked my ticklish spot and I refrained with difficulty from telling her she was a minx.
"Are there unicorns?" she demanded.
I shrugged. "Probably. There are enough myths about them."
We walked right into the middle of the circle, into the pool of warm sunlight, our fingers trailing to caress new spring blooms as we passed.
Removing our coats, we sank onto the blanket, and I lay down while Bella sat beside me. I missed the sun. I would take her somewhere hot for our honeymoon. Somewhere private, where we could lie outside undisturbed.
"You're like an angel. So beautiful," she whispered, and ran her finger up and down my arm, sending prisms of light everywhere. Tucking her fingertips inside the V-neck of my shirt, she fondled the hair on my chest.
"I think you have that backward," I said, smiling at her a bit smugly.
"Is it okay if I touch you like this?"
"Yes, as long as you don't surprise me. Please move slowly."
I basked in the sun and let Bella play with the skin on my face, arms and hands. The warmth of her touch was divine. A benediction. Without conscious thought, I began to hum at vampire pitch. Bella traced her fingers over my mouth. It was all I could do not to suck on them.
"Your lips are trembling."
I smiled under her hand. "I'm singing to myself at vampire pitch."
"What exactly is vampire pitch?"
"It's hard to describe. You couldn't possibly hear it, whether at the male or female frequency."
"No? What's the frequency?"
"For males, it's usually about twelve cycles of vibration per second. Humans can only produce sounds that vibrate at between 85 and 1100 cycles per second. People with strong hearing might be able to hear sounds as low as 20 vibrations per second and as high as 20,000 vibrations per second."
"So, you make a low sound?"
"Yes."
"Cool. Can you sing down the scale for me so I can hear when your voice disappears?"
I grinned. "Probably not. I'm a baritone. Vampire pitch is far lower than a singing voice; it's natural for us, we just do it. We don't have to think about the pitch any more than you think about pitch when you speak."
"And the girls?"
"It tends to vary more. It's a bell-like tone. It doesn't sound squeaky to us, but Titch has a really high voice, which is why I call her Tinkerbell or The Pixie sometimes. It annoys her."
"Well, sing to me at a pitch I can hear! I love it when you sing."
I gave Bella a cheeky look. "The song's not ready." Of course it was ready. I just didn't want her grappling with the lyrics. God help me if she should make sense of them!
"Oh, come on! What is it you're singing? It must be something racy."
"Nuh-uh," I chuckled.
"I dare you!"
"Bella!"
"I dee double dog-"
"You are so naughty!" I huffed.
"Pot calls kettle!"
I grasped her by both arms, pulled her down to my chest and shut my eyes. "She was… Standing there by a broken tree,
Her hands are all twisted, she was pointing at me;
I was damned by the light, coming out of her eyes,
She spoke with a voice that disrupted the sky;
She said, 'Walk on over, yeah to the bit of shade,
I will wrap you in my loving arms and you'll know that you're saved;'
"Let me sign, let me sign…
"I was out for a drink in a Soho bar,
The air was smoked out like a cheap cigar;
She rose out of her seat like a painted ghost,
She was the woman that I wanted the most;
As she reached for my arm I gave her my hand,
I said 'Lay me down easy let me understand;'
"Let me sign, let sign, can't fight the devil so just let me sign.
"As I walked through the door she was still in my head,
As I entered the room she was laid there in bed;
She reached out for me all twisted in black,
I was on my way down, never coming back;
"Let me sign, let me sign, can't fight the devil so just let me sign.
"Let me sign, let me sign, can't fight the devil so just let me sign."
I peeked at Bella from under my lashes. She was lying almost on top of me (and therefore, Mr. Ed), our breathing in sync with her heartbeat, her face an inch away from my lips, and she looked thoroughly stoned. I rolled us gently to the side, hoping my ill-mannered, straining cock hadn't been detected, and arched a brow. "Well?"
My mate blinked and cleared her throat. "Huh?"
I grinned from ear to ear.
Bella propped her head on her hand. "That's… a rather cryptic love song."
I traced a finger down her side. "I told you, it isn't finished. It's bound to be cryptic."
"You… wrote that?"
"Maybe."
Bella swooned melodramatically onto her back. "Holy crow. That is incredibly ginchy, do you know that?" She mock-frowned at me. "Stop giggling!"
"Yeah, that's me!" I rolled my eyes. "Edward Cullen: composer of cryptic love songs that nobody save I can possibly understand."
"Will you…" she moved closer, "explain it to me?" she breathed against my mouth. I gave her a chaste kiss.
"Not a chance." I cupped her cheek in my hand. "Someday, I suspect you'll figure it out."
"Will I?"
"Probably." And when she did, she'd probably have my guts for garters. I kissed her again.
Her eyes were sultry. "Mmm. Can we do something?"
I gave her a wicked smile and she gasped and poked my ticklish spot again. "You're so bad!"
I raised a brow. "And this is news, because?" I peppered kisses down her neck.
"Brat. I'm just wondering if you would sh-show me something."
I nearly bit off my tongue. "Dare I ask what?"
"I'm wondering… how-fast-you-can-really-move." She blushed hotly and I tilted up her chin.
"Is that really what you wanted to ask?"
She turned twice as red. "Of course."
"Oh." She was lying, but it wouldn't have been gentlemanly of me to call her out.
The crease appeared between Bella's eyes. "What did you think I was going to ask?"
"I had no idea. You never say what I'm expecting. You want to see me run flat-out?"
"Yeah!"
"I'm not even sure you'll be able to see me." Smoothing down my clothes, I stood up.
Bella actually clapped. "Cool!"
"All right." I sank into a crouch. "Tell me when."
"Okay! On your mark, get set, go!"
I ran across the Meadow and did a full circuit of the perimeter. It took me three minutes and thirty-six seconds. Bella was searching for me; apparently she'd lost track of me. Pretending to search the distance for myself, I leaned my forearm on her shoulder and she jumped a mile. "Holy smokes!" She smacked me, then squealed and jumped up and down.
"How did you do that?" she yelled.
I lifted a shoulder. "I've always been fast. Back in the day, I was on the track team."
"At your high school?"
"Lincoln Park Secondary. Yeah."
"You remember that?"
"Well, not much. It's in my obituary."
Bella flinched as though I had struck her. "You… have an obituary?"
I lay back down on the blanket. "I have two, actually: one for the city paper that briefly mentions me in relation to my parents, and a longer one in the school newspaper." Bella's eyes got misty. "Oh, come now! It was of great comfort to me that people remembered Eddie Masen with affection. I had friends who survived the superbug ; not everyone I loved died."
"I know one thing."
"And what might that be?"
"I love you, Edward Anthony," she sighed.
"I love you, too, Isabella Marie."
She traced a pattern on my thigh. "I'm sorry that hit me so hard. An obituary… seems so final. Concrete."
"I know right?" I asked happily. "It proves I was human. I existed! I had a real life! People missed me when I was gone."
Bella smirked and shook her head.
"What?"
"That's messed." She pushed her hair behind her ear.
"Why?"
"Only you could take pleasure in the fact that you have an obituary."
We chuckled together, and I pulled Bella down to my mouth, begging for her affection and affirmation, and giving as much back as I dared. We kissed thoroughly, for a very long time.
"You're mine now, Edward."
"I'm so glad."
She feigned surprise. "Me, too."
"Know what?" I picked some grass out of her hair.
"What?"
"Your hair looks like a haystack. But I like it."
She gasped dramatically. "And you call yourself a gentleman!"
"I try."
"You're very trying. You know what?"
"What?"
She scrubbed her hands through my hair, doubtless leaving it on end. "Pot calls kettle!"
"Aargh! You know it took me an hour to get it to look like that!"
Laughing, Bella let her head fall onto my shoulder, and I purred contentedly. She made happy cat noises in return and both of us chuckled.
"My world is so much bigger now, because of you," I avowed.
"I think you have that backwards," she rasped.
I went back to sitting in the high grass, Bella on my lap. "I can hear people hiking about a quarter of a mile from here."
"Oh?"
"Probably, were anyone to hike by, they wouldn't even know we're here. This spot isn't easy to find."
"Do you come here a lot?"
"Yes, but not as much as I used to. It's a good place to get away from my family, but now I spend a lot of my time with you instead."
"You really need space from your family. Do you not like living with them?"
"I do, but they don't keep any secrets from me. They all have very strong opinions and…"
"And?"
"Well, they …" I cleared my throat. "Never mind."
"What?"
I couldn't look at her. "Let's just say they have ideas about how you and I should… behave." Or misbehave.
Bella gawped at me. "Are you saying they're encouraging us to get giggedy?"
"Um, yes."
"Wow." Bella was quiet for a few heartbeats. "Do you want me to talk to Alice?"
"Maybe. Yeah, it might help."
"I'm sorry they're making you uncomfortable."
"They've always made me uncomfortable. It's just different now."
"I understand. So, when were you here last? You didn't know the flowers would be out."
"This is where I came after Lonnie and his goons attacked you."
"I can see why. This is like Eden."
I thought about walking around in the Garden unclothed with my wife. To my surprise, I was fine with that idea. We rested quietly for a while and then I told Bella about the twitter-pated birds and small animals around us. Bella ate her lunch with her fingers and she told me three times to stop drooling over her food (which was certainly not what had me drooling. Not that I revealed what had captured my interest!).
We got out our earbuds and listened to music for a while, enjoying the scents and sounds of spring. Then, Bella yawned, stretched and pulled out a Frisbee. She made me stand beside her as she threw, and then fetch it. Every time I brought it back she squealed with glee and gave me a kiss. The fact that I was able to trick her into thinking I was standing somewhere else (and she had the same reaction to me every time) made me giddy and I'm certain Bella knew it and purposefully provoked my response. What a silly pair of kids we were! Sappy dates. Eventually, she tired of the game and we lay back down amongst the flowers, using my coat for a pillow. By that time, I had to lie on my stomach. You know. Thanks to Mr. Ed.
Dusk gathered early and Bella shivered. I stroked her arm. "Want to go?"
"I could lie here forever, if I didn't feel the chill."
I swallowed my instinctive response along with a flood of venom. "Twilight."
"Hm?"
"It's the safest time of the day for us. The easiest time. But also the saddest, in a way. The end of another day, the return of the night. Darkness is so predictable, don't you think?"
"No."
What a surprise. "No?" I walked two fingers up Bella's arm and put on a creepy Vincent Price voice. "The populous and the powerful was a lump,
Seasonless, herbless, treeless, manless, lifeless—
A lump of death—a chaos of hard clay.
The rivers, lakes and ocean all stood still,
And nothing stirr'd within their silent depths;
Ships sailorless lay rotting on the sea,
And their masts fell down piecemeal: as they dropp'd
They slept on the abyss without a surge—
The waves were dead; the tides were in their grave,
The moon, their mistress, had expir'd before;
The winds were wither'd in the stagnant air,
And the clouds perish'd; Darkness had no need
Of aid from them—She was the Universe."
Rather than shuddering, Bella rolled her eyes at me. "Well, that's morbid." I walked my fingers up her arm again and she smacked my hand away. "Why would you choose that poem instead of his other one? She Walks in Beauty…"
"Ah, but that's about the night, not the darkness."
"You're splitting hairs!"
"Am not. The night holds stars, planets, the moon… darkness has nothing. It's the absence of light and life."
"Things exist in the darkness, though."
" 'What evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows!' " I intoned darkly.
Bella shook her head. "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was formless and void, and darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was moving over the surface of the waters. Then God said, 'Let there be light'; and there was light. God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the darkness."
"Okay." I rolled my eyes. "I guess not everything lurking in the darkness is bad."
She cocked a brow at me. "Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."
"Jeez Louise, Bella! You go from quoting the Bible to Albus Dumbledore?"
"What can I say? Edward?"
"Yes?"
"Light comes out of darkness."
I was silent.
"Babies come from wombs, and those are dark."
"Not really." I cursed myself for saying anything as Bella's jaw dropped.
"You… you can Hear babies' thoughts. Before they're born."
I stuffed my hands in my jean pockets. "Sometimes. Rarely."
"What are they like?"
"Pure." I pushed away my feelings. Every time I Heard a baby, I wanted... Why break my heart over something that will never happen? Stupid. Just forget about it!
What would Bella be like as a mother? I gnawed my lip, wishing that I could somehow give her that experience. Truthfully, I would have given anything to see her pear-shaped. Well, not anything. I would never be able to endure it if another man were to impregnate her. My ugly, possessive side would rear its head. I wasn't even sure I could view a baby obtained through artificial insemination as mine, and that could prove deadly for the child. But cold hard facts did not appease the ache.
Don't want what you can't have! You already have far more than you deserve. "I'd… best get you home." Rising, I offered Bella my hand and pulled her to standing.
"Edward, did I upset you?"
"Of course not, Love." I upset myself. After gathering up our things, I put Bella on my back and ran back toward the Volvo. Darkness began to press in upon us. I expected her to cling to me more tightly, but she only hummed a poorly-pitched song in my ear, making me smile. It took me a while to realize that what she was humming was This Little Light of Mine. My chest ached; I rubbed it with my palm. I decided not to address the elephant in the forest even though I wanted her to stop singing it. Such a request would lead to a religious discussion about my probably-lost soul, which was bound to ruin a truly wonderful day.
I set Bella down beside the passenger door of the car. She promptly keeled over and I had to catch her.
"Bella! Are you okay?"
"Fast. So fast. Faster than usual. Right?"
I gave her a squeeze. "Sorry, sweetheart. I wanted to get to the car before it got too dark."
Bella blinked. "Why? You can see in the dark, can't you?"
Looking at a pretty pebble, I smiled softly. "I can, but you can't. I thought you might be a bit scared if I took us through the trees in the dark." I picked up the pebble and put it in her palm. She closed her fingers around it.
"It's hard to be afraid when I'm with you."
I snorted. "Your instincts are all wrong."
"You still think I should be afraid of you?"
Leaning my hands against the Volvo, I caged her in. "Definitely."
Bella made a disparaging noise. "I think you're more afraid of me than I am of you!"
"Definitely," I breathed against her mouth. Time stood still and then my little minx attacked me, wrapping herself completely around my torso and kissing me with tongue. For a moment I responded, pushing her firmly against the car. My cock caught painfully in my clothes and twisted. With a yelp, I dropped Bella like a hot rock, retreated into the trees and checked out the damage. Somehow, I had managed to nick the glans. I drooled venom onto my thumb and rubbed it into the head, leaning back against a tree. Pleasure and pain, always so closely connected. It took no effort whatsoever to spill both upon the ground.
"Edward!" Bella cried. "Edward? I'm sorry!"
Cursing myself, I tucked Mr. Ed back where he belonged and fixed my clothes. By the time I returned to Bella she was weeping.
"Don't cry, Love, please." I brushed back her hair and kissed her tears away. She placed her hands around my neck and tangled them in my hair.
"Why must I always do the wrong thing?" she asked bitterly.
"Oh, hush now," I crooned, cuddling her up. "It's not your fault, it's mine."
"I should know better."
"Hey!" I tipped up her chin and kissed her. "Hey… stop."
"I'm going to get myself bitten."
I took a step back and ran my hand through my hair with a sigh. "You are afraid."
"I don't want to be afraid."
Licking my lip, I steeled myself. "Bella?" I knew she was peeping at me from under her lashes. Venom sizzled under my skin. "Bella, I couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt you. You don't know how it tortured me. The thought of you, still, white, cold… to never see you blush scarlet again, to never see that flash of intuition in your eyes when you see through my pretenses… it would be unendurable. You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever. But biting you is not the issue at present."
"It isn't?"
I stuffed my hands back in my pockets. "It's too easy to be myself around you."
"But I want you to be yourself. Always."
I gave her a shifty glance. "Would you understand what I meant if I said I was only human?"
"Oh." I could have felt the heat of her blush at a hundred paces.
"There are other… instincts I must control besides the urge to bite."
Bella took a step toward me, ran her palm up my chest to my neck and pulled me in for a kiss but I refused to budge. "So, you want to…"
"I want to possess you, body and soul." I feathered kisses over her cheeks to soften the rejection. "Curse Women's Lib."
Bella pulled back with an incredulous chuckle. "What?"
"Back in the day, you'd have been married to me at sixteen and we'd very likely have been working on a second baby by now. There would have been none of this I need an education nonsense."
"Education nonsense?" she echoed, eyes shining. "Are you joshing?"
"Meh, maybe, maybe not."
"Your age is showing."
"As I said, it's hard to act like a modern teen. It's difficult to keep my opinions to myself all the time."
"It's cute."
My jaw dropped. "Cute?"
"Yeah, you want to put a ring on it."
"Beyonce said it right. And I am not cute. I am a dangerous predator."
Bella's tongue peeped from between her teeth. "Let's suppose something, Flinstone."
Putting my hands on my hips, I leaned over her. "What are you thinking, Wilma?"
Bella crossed her arms and leaned on the Volvo. "Suppose it's 1918."
"Yeah."
"Suppose we meet when you're a Newborn."
"You'd be dead. I've had 83 years of experience at this and when you walked past me that first day, I could have ruined everything Carlisle has built for us, right then and there. If I hadn't been denying my thirst for so long, I wouldn't have been able to stop myself."
"Not so fast. Suppose I'm a vampire, too."
I shrugged. "Oh, well, then there's no question of the consequence. If only!"
"Huh?"
"Had you been a vampire in 1918, and had you stumbled into my Newborn presence, you'd have clubbed me over the head and dragged me to your cave within five minutes."
"Is that so? And would you not have objected to my forward behaviour sir?"
"Me? As a Newborn?" I scoffed. "I'd have promptly begged you to be my Domme, my Dona Bella and to keep me forever. Sadly, Elvis would not have been around to officiate over the plight of our eternal troth. However, it all would have saved Carlisle a lifetime of worry. And it would have spared me a lot of bad blind dates!"
Bella's eyes gleamed with ferocity. "Blind dates?"
"Carlisle tried to hook me up with every female that moved. Not to mention a handful of males. It drove me mad. At least when Titch joined us, she told him in no uncertain terms that I was straight and to knock it off."
"Just how many girls did you go out with?"
I held up my hands in protest. "As few as possible, and never more than once. I only went if I couldn't squirm my way out of it."
"Who's my rival?"
"Pardon?" My dead heart dropped into my stomach. "Nobody!"
"Let me put it another way. Who thinks she ought to be in my place right now?"
I shook my head and shrugged. "Just because some designing female has ideas, does not mean I would tolerate or encourage any advances."
Bella stuck her nose in the air. "I know that. But who am I up against? I don't want to be blindsided."
"If any of them were to ever show up, a battle for my affection would be the least of your worries. They know they have no chance with a male of my morals, but some of them might have tantrums."
My mate's eyes narrowed. "Some of them?"
I blew out my breath. Apparently, Bella possessed her father's talent for making me feel like a bug on a pin.
"More than two?"
"None of them ever had, or will ever have, any chance with me."
Bella crossed her arms and gave me the death glare.
"Okay, fine! Tanya. Her lack of morals make me gag."
Bella nodded. "Me, too. Who else wants you?"
I slapped my hands down on my thighs. "Her sister, Kate. Although she's not as predatory as Tanya, she's just as loose and her talent is electrocution."
"Electrocution?"
I ran my hand through my hair. "Although I have no personal experience with her –thank God- I understand she has a fetish. She likes to deliver small shocks during foreplay and bigger shocks during… you know."
"Ew. Does the other sister want you, too?"
"Irina? Only to get the better of the other two. And their father would have had a go, had I swung that way, but I made it very clear that I wasn't interested."
"Anybody else I should know about?"
"Not 'worry about'," I checked.
Bella tossed her hair over her shoulder. "No, so far, none of them worry me. You'd have to be nuts to want any of them."
"Okay, the only other one I know of who may not have relinquished an interest is Jane the Pain."
"Who?"
"Jane di Volturi. She's one of Aro's favourite Guards. Carlisle set us up in 1921. One scathing look from her and I was writhing on the floor crying for my mother."
"What did you do to deserve that?"
"I told her no. She didn't take it very well." I grimaced. "In many ways, you're Jane's polar opposite. She's like a fair-haired china doll, while you're much taller, willowy and dark. She's cruel and you're kind. She loves to maim her prey before she kills it and she wishes to be feared and worshipped by a mate. I don't need to know anything more about her than that. If I never see her again, it will be too soon."
"You poor guy! It sounds like you've had some of the worst dates on the planet."
"Carlisle is a terrible matchmaker. He totally sucks at it."
"That explains why you didn't find a mate for so long."
I wound Bella's hair around my fingers. "I'm glad I didn't. I'm glad you returned my interest."
She buttoned two of the middle buttons on my coat. "Kiss me."
Instead of pouncing, I recoiled. "I'm sorry." I picked at the leg of my jeans. "I think I'll have to hunt first."
Bella's forehead crinkled up. "So it's my blood this time?"
"Bella, I am an addict. You know it makes my moods erratic."
She looked so disappointed. "I'm like your personal brand of heroin, right?"
"I promise to kiss you senseless later."
Her lip curled. "I'll try to be patient. Hormones, you know?"
"It's the same for me."
Bella looked at her feet. "Do you want me to drive myself home so you can go now?"
"It's not urgent just yet. Please forgive me. I can control my thirst for the time being. I will see you safely home, and then I'll be able to hunt in peace."
"All right, Love," she breathed. "Thank you for bringing me to your Meadow."
I caressed her cheek. "It's ours now."