Chapter 38

"Little Triggers"

Gotham

Bruce Wayne stood by his bedroom window gazing out over his city as the sunrise slowly brought light to everything. There was a frown marring his strong features. Things hadn't gone the way he'd planned the night before. In fact, he'd been out of control and that troubled him mightily this morning. It wasn't like him to lose control. He never lost control, ever. He'd let his emotions get the best of him. That was another thing he didn't let happen.

The sound of her stirring on the bed made him turn.

"Good morning."

She gave him a warm, satisfied smile.

"Good morning."

He was already thinking of some way to take control of this, to distance himself from what had happened.

"So I guess it really was our third date after all?"

She was feeling good, in a teasing mood.

"About that."

He knew he might as well address it now. Yes, there would be hurt feelings, but he felt he had to before it got further out of hand.

"We already finished that argument, Bruce, I won, remember?"

The kiss had shocked her, but she's immediately responded to it. She let her emotions fly, so it speak and it had been wonderful.

"About last night, I made a mistake, Shayera."

"I don't know, I've done it before, Bruce and you seem to have it down. You're really good at parts of it."

More teasing on her part, he nodded and gave her a brief smile. She was going to be very unhappy, but it was for the best, he told himself.

"I didn't mean that sort of mistake. I meant the whole thing was a mistake."

The happy smile slipped from her lips. She was fully awake and stared at him hard.

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, things got out of hand and I shouldn't have let them."

He put the blame on himself, hoping at least she would take some solstice from that.

"There were two of us involved, Bruce. If I didn't want to, I wouldn't have let you."

She had an inkling of where this was going, but she just couldn't believe it. He was going to have to say the words.

"I shouldn't have let it happen. I knew you were interested in Wally and I should have respected that."

"Let's leave Wally out of it for now. Neither of us was thinking of him last night. From what I hear in the reports, Wally probably wasn't even thinking of Wally last night. So what's this really about, Bruce?"

She was sitting on the side of the bed, the sheet wrapped around her. Her auburn hair disheveled but alluring to the eye. If anything, she looked even more beautiful this morning than she had the previous night. He couldn't let emotions sway him again. Thrusting his hands into his robe pockets, Bruce dipped his head before he continued.

"Be that as it may, it still doesn't change the fact that it was a mistake. I'm sorry, Shayera, last night while amazing, shouldn't have happened. It won't happen again."

She looked at him for a moment and he could see the hurt in her eyes. She had to turn away, scanning the room for her clothes. Standing up, she spread her wings, stretching them out completely. The white sheet still wrapped around her body, she looked like an angel to him.

"So that's it?"

She didn't even turn to watch him answer, just began picking up her things.

"Yes, I'm afraid so."

End it quick he thought, before it becomes too deep.

"Well, at least you waited for the sweat to dry, didn't you?"

The sarcasm in her voice was tinged with bitterness.

"I didn't mean it like that."

He didn't want it to end this way. He'd done this countless times before, but he didn't want to end it with her like this.

"Yes, you did. It seemed too practiced, too polished. You're not going to tell me this is the first time, are you? I'm sure you and Alfred have a little routine worked out by now. You give me the brush off and then he offers breakfast and some comforting words?"

The more she was in the same room with him, the more her sadness turned to anger. She'd let herself open up to him last night and thought he had too. The man she had gone to bed with last night was the man standing in the room with her now. How could she be such a fool to fall for it, she thought.

"If it's not too much trouble I'll use your bathroom and be on my way."

"No, of course not."

It wasn't going how he hoped or how it usually went. He could see the hurt in her eyes, but couldn't seem to find the right words to say. Last night had been about losing control, but even now it didn't feel right. This was a mistake, he thought and this time he wasn't thinking about the previous night. He'd treated her as if she were disposable, when that was the furthest thing from the truth. Before he could say a word, she closed the bathroom door on him.

A light knock on his bedroom door came and Alfred slowly opened it and poked his head inside.

"I thought I heard voices, so I assumed you would want the usual. I have breakfast prepared for the young lady and a car waiting."

"No, not this time, Alfred."

Alfred gave him a questioning look before nodding and silently closing the door. It was all-wrong, Bruce thought. I've botched this badly. If I just hadn't lost control last night, this wouldn't have happened.

The bathroom door opened and Shayera stepped, dressed in the same evening gown from the night before. Little memories flickered through Bruce's brain of the feel of her skin against his, the sound of the clasp coming undone and her dress slipping away from her. Her fingers and lips dancing over his sweat covered flesh echoed through him, as a bead of sweat rolled down the side of his face.

"I'm sorry it worked out like this, Shayera, I didn't mean for this to happen."

It wasn't the words he wanted to say, but before he could continue, she held up her hand to stop him. A sad chuckle came from her lips.

"No, Bruce, it shouldn't. I can't believe I fell for it. Selina tried to warn me that first night, but I guess I just thought I was different. You never let anyone get close unless it's on your terms, do you? So what excuse are you going to give me, the rich boy with issues or how the city is your priority?"

"The city is my priority."

The mocking tone she used irritated him. Those weren't just excuses, they were the truth.

"I guess I should be glad you didn't use me being a traitor, shouldn't I? That's the other big excuse, isn't it, lack of trust? It's no wonder you never have any relationships."

She was angry and lashing out, he knew, but it still hurt. He felt the need to defend himself against her accusations.

"I've had relationships, they just haven't ended well."

"Right, sure you have."

The sarcasm was dripping off her words. He felt his own anger starting to rise.

"What are you suggesting?"

"Just let it go, Bruce. You ended it right on queue so let's not say things we'll regret."

"No, let's say them, Shayera. You think you know something about me, so please, enlighten me with your Thanagarian wisdom."

He hit right at a sore spot with her just as he intended. They were both livid.

"All right, if you insisted. All those reasons you give for not being in a relationship you know what they are? Bull Shit!"

She pronounced it as two words, putting emphasis on both.

"Excuse me?"

"They're bullshit, Bruce. The real reason you never have any long-term relationships is because you're afraid."

"Really? We sleep together once and now you're an authority, is that it?"

She was getting very personal and his anger got the best of him. The words came out hard.

"I didn't have to sleep with you to figure you out, Bruce. Look at the relationships you've had with women, they're either the Vestal Virgin or the Femme Fatale, aren't they? You danced around Diana, the innocent in the world, yet knew it you ever did start something you'd really had to commit. Can't have that, can you? So who else? Selina? Deny it all you want, but you still have feelings for her, but you just can't act on them, can you? What's the other one's name, Talia? Can't control her or trust her, can you? The same goes for Selina, doesn't it?"

His voice was low, almost gravely as he replied.

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't I? Look how fast you're pulling away this morning, Bruce. I don't fall into either of those categories, so I'm the most dangerous. I'm an adult woman, a mix of all those things. You let your emotions go last night and now you're terrified of what might happen. You can't wait to get me out the door, can you?"

She had touched a nerve and anger flared through him. He wanted to lash out at her, to hurt her with words as she had him.

"I think you're overestimating how special last night was."

His jab hit the target. She curled her fingers into a fist, but wasn't going to let him provoke her. That would be the easy way out for him.

"If it wasn't special than why are you so afraid this morning, Bruce?"

"I'm not afraid."

"You keep telling yourself that. While you're denying it, why don't you ask yourself why it is that your longest relationships are with lost young boys? They look up to you as a mentor, follow you, are subordinates to you, yet they grow up and leave too, don't they? Everyone things Wally's the immature one, but at least he's willing to take a chance. The truth is, you're still the little boy, Bruce, trying to control everything in your sandbox. Maybe it's time you grow up."

"Get out."

He turned away from her, almost dismissing her from his sight. She looked at him and a bit of regret creeped in. They had said things they could never take back. She'd let the hurt and anger provoke her. There was nothing more to say.

"Good bye."

He didn't turn even after the door closed behind her.

The Javelin

Crying hadn't worked, so it was suggested Zatanna return to the palace so the Mages could be consulted. She wasn't thrilled with that idea, but didn't have a better one.

"Could I at least change into some dry clothes? These are soaking wet and I'm starting to shake,' she said. She quickly glanced over at Wally. "Don't even think about another bucket of water. I'll take a shower, a nice hot shower. Maybe it'll wake me up."

"I'll help you," Clark immediately said.

"Big Blue, would you mind if Sabine helped Zee,' Wally asked. "I need to talk to you about something important, in private."

Everyone turned and looked at him.

"Something important?"

"Really important, please?"

"Well, if Zatanna doesn't mind,' Clark replied.

"No, but are you willing Princess? I mean it's not really something I would think of as royalty's work."

"I've seen women naked before, Miss Zatanna," Sabine said. "If it will help get us all back to the palace faster, I'm willing."

"Who exactly have you seen naked," Wally asked.

"I'll tell you once we get back to the palace,' Sabine teasingly replied.

"Don't tell him anything about me," Zee immediately said.

"Of course not, you have my word."

'We'll talk about it later,' Wally whispered to her. Unfortunately, Wally didn't whisper that softly, and Zatanna heard him.

'Again, Princess!"

"Wait!" Wally started to protest, but Sabine was already backhanding him.

"Damn it, honey, that hurts! What are you part cyborg or something?"

"Let's go, Princess,' Zee said with a smile. Wally gave them both a scowl as they headed into Zee's room. He rubbed his shoulder and muttered to himself.

"I know she's just a tiny thing, but she really hits like linebacker! My arm is practically numb from that last shot."

"What was so important you wanted to talk about, Wally,' Clark asked. "It wasn't being hit by the Princess, was it?"

"No, but could you give her one good shot, you know, just to even things out for me?"

"I'm not hitting the Princess, Wally."

"Right, I forgot, you never hit a woman," Wally replied.

"Neither do you," Clark pointed out.

"No, but I'm really starting to rethink that policy," Wally admitted. He started working his shoulder around, grimacing as he did. "She hits like a jackhammer. It's got to be magic, I mean look at the size of her!"

"Was there a point to this, Wally?"

"Right, right, what I wanted to talk to you about concerns Sabine."

"I'm not hitting her, Wally, that's final."

"That wasn't what I wanted to talk to you about, but do you have to be so final about it? Think it over for awhile, maybe you'll change your mind."

"Wally."

"Okay," Wally said. He slid over close to Clark and glanced around to make sure they were alone. Clark glanced around wondering what he was looking for. "The thing is, I think she wants to well, you know, be with me, Supes."

"Aren't you already sleeping together?" Clark wasn't sure he was following this.

"Yes and mostly it's spectacular,' Wally replied. "Did I tell you about the thing she does with her tongue? It's amazing, she should get a patent on it."

Clark sighed and rubbed his hand over his forehead.

"I really don't want to hear about that, Wally."

"Your loss. Anyway, what I mean is I think she's fallen in love with me"

"And that's a bad thing?"

"Yes! She broke off her marriage to the Prince! She told me earlier that's why I let Zee slip out of my grip! She said she wants to marry for love! Don't you see where this is going? Two plus two makes five, she wants to marry me, Big Blue!"

"Two plus two make four, Wally,' Clark replied in confusion.

"You're missing the big picture here, brother,' Wally said. "You're missing the forest for the trees! The fish because of the barrel!"

"I didn't get that last analogy, but that's really not the point,' Clark offered. "Is it so horrible that a beautiful young woman might be in love with you?"

"Well, when you put it that way, no, but what if she wants to get married, huh?"

"Are you in love with her,' Clark asked.

"Well, not at the moment, my arm is killing me,' Wally replied.

"How about overall? Are you in love with Princess Sabine?"

"I don't know, maybe, but marriage? Isn't that kind of extreme?"

"So you never want to get married,' Clark asked.

"Well, sure, some day, of course," Wally admitted. "I always pictured myself married to someone named Linda with a whole mess of kids, but that was way in the future."

"Why Linda?"

"What's wrong with the name Linda,' Wally asked.

"Nothing I guess,' Clark offered. "It just seemed kind of random, is all."

"Have you ever met a Linda?"

"A few."

"Weren't they all kind of cool and nice?"

"I suppose."

'Well, there you go,' Wally declared. "If everyone you've met named Linda is kind of cool than the one you marry is bound to be really cool. It works with every name. Like I could never see myself married to someone named Ethel. There was a lunch lady when I was a kid named Ethel and she was horrible. She'd never give you a second pudding, even on holidays."

"I had a neighbor named Ethel, she was a lovely older woman,' Clark countered.

"Well, it's not an exact science,' Wally admitted. "Still, I'm taking my chances that Linda will always be cooler than Ethel."

"How about Sabine,' Clark asked. "Is that a name you could see yourself being married to?"

"I don't know,' Wally replied. 'How do you know if she's the one? Sure, the sex is great and plentiful, which weights heavily in her favor, but marriage?"

"I don't know what to tell you, Wally," Clark said. "I guess you have to ask yourself if you're in love with her."

"What if she's not the one I was destined to be with Clark?"

"What if she is?"

"That would be great, but if she's not, I'll miss out on my destiny,' Wally said.

"Maybe your destiny is what you make it, Wally," Clark offered. "Maybe there's not just one person or destiny for any of us. Perhaps it's all really random when you get right down to it. You turn right instead of left; you catch a bus instead of missing it. Maybe there's countless choices out there for each of us, it just depends on happenstance."

"What are you saying there's not just one out there for me,' Wally replied. "Why are you trying to take my future dream girl Linda away from me, Supes?"

"I'm not, I swear." Clark chuckled. "I'm just saying that maybe it's really not destiny, but the choices we make that matter. When it works, we think its destiny. It's up to you, is all I'm saying. I mean weren't you hot for Fire just a while ago? Didn't you think you and Zee were going to hook up on this trip, too? What about Shayera?"

"Yeah all very hot in their own way," Wally admitted. "So what about you? Do you think about marriage?"

"Yes, a couple of times," Clark acknowledged. "There was a time when everyone, including me, thought I would marry Lana. Five years later everyone, again including me thought it would Lois. If I'd married either one, it would have seemed like destiny. Maybe in some other world I do marry them and live happily ever after. I guess I've just been thinking that I can't sit back and wait for some destiny that might never come."

"Which leads us right back to where we started," Wally said. "What do you do?"

"I guess if you think she's special, you have to take a leap of faith," Clark offered. "I don't know if Princess Sabine is right for you, but it doesn't sound like you do either. Maybe you should figure that out first and then the marriage question will answer itself."

"Is that what you're doing with Zatanna,' asked Wally.

"Wh-Wh-What,' Clark stammered, caught completely off guard by the question. "That's, um, ah completely different."

"How?"

"It just is, besides, we were talking about you and Sabine," Clark quickly countered.

"Well, I don't have to be a mind reader to see how into each other you two are,' Wally said. "Are you saying the thought hasn't crossed your mind?"

"No, it's just that with her being cursed and all, I've been trying to stay focused on that."

"Okay, yeah, I get that, but she'll pull through, I just know it, Supes,' Wally said with confidence. "She's stronger than you think. Besides, we'll figure it out, we're heroes, that's what we do."

"I hope you're right, Wally."

"Can I be best man at the wedding,' Wally asked

"Wally," Clark said, letting a little of his irritation through in his voice.

'Okay, I just thought I'd call it first, like shotgun in a car."

"How about you figure out what you're going to do about the Princess for now."

"I guess,' Wally reluctantly agreed. "You know, she'll probably be crushed if I decided not to marry here. Poor kid will never be the same after me."

"I'd have to agree with that,' Clark offered. "So you're not going to marry her? You're going to be a gentleman and let her down easy, right?"

"Of course, it's just that I'm not sure what I want to do,' Wally admitted. "Did I mention how amazing the sex is?"

"Once or twice."

"It's all so confusing. I mean if I decided to marry Sabine, what am I going to tell all the ladies?"

"You'll think of something."

"Imaginary future Linda will be so crushed," Wally said. "She didn't even get her chance to woo me. Life's just not fair some times, you know?"

Clark just looked at Wally, finding nothing to say to that.

Zatanna's Quarters

Princess Sabine had started the shower, as Zee pulled off her soaking clothes.

"The water is nice and hot, just like you asked,' Sabine informed her.

"Thanks, Princess, I really appreciate your help,' Zee replied.

"You're welcome,' Sabine said. She looked at Zee for a moment as she stripped off the last of her wet things. "You know you have quite the pleasing figure, Miss Zatanna, most attractive."

A shiver went down Zee's back and she suddenly remembered Wally's description of Sabine's amorous nature. She quickly grabbed her rope and pressed against her body.

"Um, ah, thanks,' Zee stammered. "Not that I'm not flattery, really, but I don't really go that way. Well, sure there was that one time in college but that was after about ten Long Island Ice Teas, so that doesn't really count.'

Princess Sabine didn't seem to know what she was talking about and just smiled at Zatanna.

"Maybe I'll just get in that shower,' Zee said, backing away from Sabine and into the bathroom.

"Do you need any help,' Sabine innocently asked.

"No! I mean, no, I think I got it, thanks."

A little jittery, Zee climbed into the show, keeping one eye on Sabine the whole time. As exhausted as she was, the hot water felt wonderful. She felt like she could just close her eyes and fall asleep standing right there.

"EEEE!" Zee screamed as cold water splashed against her. "What the Fu…"

"You were drifting off, I was afraid you'd fall asleep," Sabine said, cutting her off.

"Jeez, couldn't you just have shouted or something,' Zee grumbled. "And what are you doing in here, anyway?"

"I was watching to make sure you didn't fall asleep," Sabine replied.

"You were watching me? Okay, showers over,' Zee quickly said, grabbing one of the big towels. "Nothing to see here, Princess, I'll be out in a moment."

"Are you sure,' Sabine asked. "I don't mind waiting while you dress."

"I'm really sure,' Zee replied, as she took Sabine by the arm and ushered her out of the bathroom. "Thanks again, I'll be out in a minute."

Sabine shrugged her shoulders and exited. Zee quickly closed the door and locked it. Still dripping wet, she hustled into her clothes. In record time, Zatanna was dressed and stepped back out into the main room.

"All set,' Zee said.

"Wonderful, now we can go back to the palace," Sabine beamed. "I've been wanting to be alone with Wally all day!'

"You really like him, don't you," Zee asked.

"Yes, he's very fun,' Sabine replied. "Though, he does seem to tire out very easily. On the bright side he does last longer the more times we do it."

"Eww,' Zee cringed. "Didn't need to know that, really didn't."

"I have nothing to compare him to, since he's my first, but I do enjoy being with him."

"So is he the reason you're not getting married,' Zee asked.

"No, it's as I said, I'm not interested in a loveless marriage,' Sabine replied.

"But now that you and Wally are, yuck, doing it, does that mean you might want to marry him?"

"No, why would I?"

"Well, you know, gross, all the sex and everything,' Zee offered.

"I do enjoy the sex, very much,' Sabine admitted. "But I'm the Princess of Illyria. I have duties to perform here. Wally is fun, but he's not even from here."

"So you're just using him for sex,' Zee asked, cringing a little at even the thought.

"Yes, is that a problem,' Sabine asked. "Did you want to use him for sex? I thought since you were with Superman and are mostly likely going to be betrothed to him you wouldn't need anyone else.'

"NO! God, don't even say that! I don't want Wally like that,' Zee gasped.

"Good than I can use him since you'll be wed to Superman,' Sabine said with a big smile.

"No one's talking about marriage, Princess," Zee stammered. "We-We-We're not betrothed."

"But you soon will be, correct,' Sabine asked.

Zee blushed and stammered, not sure how to answer the question.

"It's just that, well, we're not, you know, we haven't discussed anything, I mean that's a big step and okay, I have thought about it a little but that doesn't mean…"

Zatanna's next words were cut off as Sabine picked a bucket of water and soaked her with it.

"What the hell, Princess?'

"I thought you were starting to float again."