Part Thirty-Six

Anakin lost his momentum when Obi-Wan came. It no longer mattered if he lasted or not; suddenly it mattered very much what Obi-Wan thought of him and he wanted to talk. He ached deeply, though, and some of that came through the Master/Padawan bond. Obi-Wan's breathing returned to normal. He sat trembling by Anakin's side, back pushed up against the headboard until Anakin put his arm around his shoulders to ease the strain. "Mmmuhh," Obi-Wan said. "Help you, wanna ... " He gestured in the general direction of Anakin's groin, where absolutely nothing was happening.

"I'm all right, Master."

"So'm I. More'n all right. Wanna --- Want to do something f'r you ... be fair to you ... "

"Later. I want to talk now."

Now he opens up. Something about the matters he's shielding? Obi-Wan wasn't ready for a long conversation. He'd negotiate out of one. "Anakin, shhhometimesh we talk too much, don't mean 'we' as in you and I, I mean 'we' as, as, in Jedi. Qui-Gon used t' say 'Live in the moment' and at this moment we need to resht." He tried to frown in a Masterly way, but couldn't. The frowny muscles were too relaxed.

Anakin attempted to recall the precise things that Qui-Gon had said. He remembered more the Force-presence of strength and a large quantity of kindness in a shoulder ride for a fatherless boy who had never had one. He demurred. "No, it's important that we talk about things. That's what lovers do." It's what Padmé always liked to do, sometimes to Anakin's dismay and general grumpiness. Talking after sex used up an entire lobe of his brain to keep track of the conversation. Padmé. Oh. He shunted her image away. "Master, please."

"All right. What we've done can't be ignored, after all. It'll stay out of the Mission Report draft, though, much less the final version."

"Was that humor, Master?"

"You said I'm not good at humor."

"You might be catching it from me."

"I'm not empathetic that way; Master Qui-Gon tried to teach me to love the Living Force, but I only ever managed to like it." Obi-Wan's lassitude was similar to that of one following a moving meditation. Meditation did not cause his heart to hammer, however, or his mind to drift to adventuresome thoughts regarding other acts with Anakin. Something more athletic, perhaps ...

" ... and it seems to me that the reason the Billaqori didn't react more to the vid is because ... Master, are you listening?"

" ... is because they are closer to the Living Force than we --- than I --- am and see such things more fatalistically; they need more solid reasons to join the Republic's cause than we gave them before, not emotional appeals. They are, ah, pragmatic about disgus-- putr--- visceral subjects. I'll come up with something tomorrow morning, Padawan. We've got a good start here, but I literally cannot see straight."

Anakin heaved a sigh. "That's talking about the mission, all well and good. Now I want to talk about us."

"As long as I can get horizontal."

Anakin startled Obi-Wan by standing and pulling Obi-Wan shakily up along with him. "What -- "

"I'm sleeping with you tonight. I don't want to crowd either of us. Let's do this." Anakin yanked off the double's mattress and the single's, pushed them together on the floor, and spread the bedding haphazardly on top. "There. I'm too tall for either of these two beds. At least now my feet won't lop off into thin air." He lay beside Obi-Wan, who had curled into a fetal ball, breathing deeply.

"Go on, Padawan. I'll last a little longer."

"We're closer. Just like I wanted us to be. I like that. Do you?"

"Yes. Next question."

Anakin wanted to ruffle Obi-Wan's bristles, but compromised by rolling onto his side and caressing Obi-Wan's uppermost arm. He poked the arm after a time. "Master. Don't fall asleep yet."

"'M not."

"I love you."

"I love you, too." Obi-Wan qualified it in his head, as was his way. I love you for your grace, your gifts in the Force, your dedication to the Republic, your laugh ... He fell asleep, but not before thinking that his Padawan was not ready to hear those reasons yet.

The river hushed.

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