Emmett needs fruit loops. Tis all I have to say. Besides go watch the Harry Potter Puppet Pals.

Dear Mr. Diary,

After being brutally beaten with a chair by Edward I have decided I need to move on! I have better things in my life to worry about. So I am gonna march right down stairs and tell my family the truth... I want Fruit Loops! And I will kill for them.

Emmett

I marched down the stairs and into the kitchen. Everyone was watching Bella eat food that Esme made. Twas surprising she didn't drop dead.

Oops, too late. She just dropped dead.

"No! My life is over!" Edward screamed, "I'm going to Italy! Don't try to stop me this time!"

Bella sat up, "Oops, sorry! I thought it wasn't edible!"

"No! Wait... Yes!" Edward yelled as he hugged Bella.

"Get him off of me," She said in an undertone to me as I sat down.

I shook my head, "Everyone!" I shouted, they looked at me, "I have a confession!"

Edward rolled his eyes, put his arm on the table, and his chin in his hand. "Oh this'll be a good one." He said sarcastically.

"Finally admitting that you're gay then, eh?" Jasper chuckled, and Rosalie glared at him.

"No! Well... besides that! I need..."

"Yes?" They all said, leaning towards me. Except Edward. He just rolled his eyes again.

"Fruit loops!" I said, falling from my chair, to my knees, "It's all I've ever wanted in life! More than anything!"

"Watch what you're saying Emmett" Rosalie growled at me.

"No! It's true! I need a big bowl of froot loops of my life is over!" I cried, slamming my fist on the ground.

"Ok, hunny! I will make you some!" Esme said.

"No! It needs to be store bought!" I cried again.

"Oh..." She did kitchen stuff while I laid on my side and used my legs to push me in circles as I sobbed.

"Here you go sweetie! Eat up!" Esme said, placing a bowl on the floor.

"What's this!?" I said, sitting up and looking into the bowl.

"What?" They all said, except Edward again.

"No...No spoon!? How am I supposed to eat this without a spoon!" I yelled.

Bella rolled her eyes but Esme got me a spoon. I took it.

"At last! My arm is complete again!" I said viciously, holding the spoon up in the air.

I scooped up a spoonful, and put it in my mouth.

"LE GASP!" My family shouted. Edward shook his head sadly and stood up to leave..

I started to gag. It was crap! I spit it out, and threw the spoon on the ground. Bella laughed hysterically at me.

"Laugh while you can!"

"I am so proud of you!" Esme cried, "My windex cleansing ritual and dance worked!"

"Actually... I was being stupid! Reckless! But that's all in the past! I'm a changed man!" I said dramatically.

"Yeah, speaking of change... I can smell your diaper." Jasper said.

"Le gasp!" I cried. Twas a catastrophe.

Did I ever tell you that when they say 'gasp' they're actually saying the word gasp? I don't remember if I did or not...

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